Break the Illusion Blog by Davey Wavey

January 27, 2012
by Davey Wavey
16 Comments

The Westboro Baptist Church: Actually Helping the Gay Rights Movement?

When you think of advocates for equality, the famously hateful Westboro Baptist Church isn’t the first organization that comes to mind.

Through a blog buddy email, I wasn’t surprised to learn that the church will be protesting this year’s Superbowl. In addition, they’ll be protesting the funeral of former Penn State coach Joe Paterno – who was fired amidst the university’s sexual abuse scandal.

The Westboro Baptist Church is best known for picketing the funerals of soldiers with their “God Hates Fags” signs and banners. The church’s handful of followers believe that God is expressing His disapproval of homosexuality by allowing American soldiers to be killed in Afghanistan.

I really don’t spend much time thinking, talking or writing about the Westboro Baptist Church because that is exactly what they want. They want us to use our precious time on this earth to elevate their cause through our attention.

But the truth is, I think the Westboro Baptist Church has unwittingly done more to help the gay rights movement than hurt it. Because of their offensive and extreme messaging, the Church has painted opponents of equality with a very broad and unappealing brush. They’ve put a very ugly face on what it means to be anti-gay. And rather than elicit support and sympathy for their cause, I suspect their outrageous protesting has had the opposite effect.

For the Westboro Baptist Church, protesting at high profile events has become part of the formula. Unfortunately for them, it’s a tired formula that is resulting in diminishing returns and increasing liabilities. The more they keep at it, the crazier they look, the more they alienate their cause and the deeper a hole they dig.

January 26, 2012
by Davey Wavey
34 Comments

Video: TAKE IT OFF!

Here’s something that I don’t talk about very often.

On one hand, I absolutely love being shirtless. If you talk to any of me friends, they’ll confirm what you know from watching my videos: I almost never wear clothes – even in the middle of winter.

On the other hand, gay culture is incredibly body-conscious – and not necessarily in a healthy way. I often think about how, though my shirtless YouTube videos, I may be participating in that. And, as someone who believes in the value of inner beauty, might my shirtless antics come across as hypocritical?

For me, it really comes down to celebrating both the inside AND the outside. Yes, your inner beauty is awesome and amazing. But these human bodies are glorious, too. Embracing the inside doesn’t mean being ashamed of the outside. I want to celebrate both – and that’s exactly what I do in today’s talky blog.

Enjoy.

January 25, 2012
by Davey Wavey
47 Comments

Why I Bought Girl Scout Cookies This Year.

7-year-old Bobby Montoya was born biologically male, but identifies as a girl. He wears dresses, has long hair and – just like his sisters – wanted to be a Girl Scout. Initially, the organization decided not to let Bobby join, but that decision was later reversed through the following statement:

If a child identifies as a girl and the child’s family presents her as a girl, Girl Scouts of Colorado welcomes her as a Girl Scout.

Bobby is now a Girl Scout and, personally, I applaud the decision and hope that it’s upheld nationwide. Unlike the notoriously homophobic Boy Scouts (of which I was once a member), the Girl Scouts are charting a course of inclusivity and acceptance.

Meanwhile, a 14-year-old Girl Scout from California identified only as Taylor uploaded a video to YouTube that quickly went viral – before it was later removed. Taylor blasted the Girl Scouts for their decision to accept Bobby, and encouraged all viewers to boycott the organization’s annual cookie sale fundraiser. The video was incredibly transphobic and generated a flurry of negative comments.

After watching Taylor’s Girl Scout boycott video, it had the opposite effect on me. For the first time in my life, I bought Girl Scout cookies. It’s a small way to show support for an organization that has come under fire for doing what is fair and just.

If a Girl Scout comes knocking on your door, I’d encourage you to consider doing the same.

January 24, 2012
by Davey Wavey
26 Comments

Feel ♥: Break the Illusion.

The other day, I was re-reading Deepak Chopra’s The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire – one of my favorite books by my favorite author. In it, Chopra examines the scientific rationale supporting a concept that gurus have espoused for ages: Separation is an illusion. Using evidence from quantum physics, the deep connection we all share isn’t just rooted in ancient beliefs – but in science, too.

When I first started this blog many years ago, I was shopping around for a good website URL. All the obvious ones were already taken. And then, out of the blue, it finally hit me. I purchased breaktheillusion.com and the rest is history.

People often ask, “What illusion are you trying to break?” As I’ve said before, the illusion is different for all of us. But for me, it’s the illusion that we are all separate. With our hands, we can feel a barrier between ourselves and others. With our eyes, we can see it. But it’s a trick of the senses that much of our world has come to believe.

In Chopra’s book, there is a beautiful line that I want to paraphrase for you. In talking about the illusion of separation, the author brings up the topic of love. Love, in any form, is breaking through the illusion of “you” and “me” and seeing the oneness and connection between us. When we feel love, we break the illusion.

♥

January 23, 2012
by Davey Wavey
75 Comments

Why Gay Jokes Aren’t Funny.

I’m the first person not to take life too seriously. A little humor – and the occasional penis joke – can go a long way. But not everything is funny – especially gay jokes.

When you laugh at someone’s sexual orientation, it makes paves the way for name-calling and then bullying. It creates a foundation that becomes a very slippery slope to homophobia. And while most people making gay jokes don’t intend to contribute to the mistreatment of LGBT people, I think we need to take responsibility for the words that come out of our mouths – and how they may impact others.

To that end, check out today’s impromptu talky blog (which I recorded after watching the new Sherlock Holmes movie) via my second YouTube channel, Davey Wavey Raw.

January 21, 2012
by Davey Wavey
15 Comments

From a Suicide Survivor: It Gets Better.

Each week, I feature a new coming out story through a YouTube channel called OutStories. Have a webcam? Share your coming out story today.

Being a teenager isn’t easy. The learning curve is steep – and it’s a huge time of adjustment, growth and change. Most of us struggle to stay centered and to find our place in the world.

When you add being gay into the equation, it can make the challenges of growing up even harder. It’s adding another layer of obstacles – and, for many people, it can be too much. For this reason, the suicide rates for gay and lesbian youth are several times higher than the straight peers. And it’s why organizations like The Trevor Project are crucially important.

Today, Connor bravely shares his coming out story – and reminds us that it does get better.

January 20, 2012
by Davey Wavey
27 Comments

Second Class Citizens.

When a friend linked me to the following YouTube video a few days ago, it had a few thousand views. Today, it has more than 2 million.

The clip is a trailer for a film to be created by Ryan James Yezak – with the bulk of the funding coming a fundraising appeal on kickstarter. Ryan set a goal of $50,000 to produce the film – and, to date, he’s raised more than $137,000 from more than 3,300 individuals.

Watching the clip, you can’t help but be in awe of how far we – as a movement – have come. And at the same time, it’s abundantly clear that we still have a long ways yet to go. We’ll get there, one heart at a time.

Here’s the video.

Anyone else get goosebumps?

January 19, 2012
by Davey Wavey
111 Comments

Video: Davey Wavey’s Drag Makeover!

You asked for it – and Haley Star and I have delivered. Today’s talky blog features my drag queen makeover.

As I shared a few days ago, I have a lot of respect for drag queens like Haley Star that are able to pull it off so effortlessly. Indeed, seeing yourself in a dress, makeup and a wig is a very strange and eye-opening experience.

Check out the video – and, in the comments below, let me know what my drag name should be. Not that I’m ever doing this again.

Enjoy!

January 18, 2012
by Davey Wavey
79 Comments

The Hunter Becomes the Hunted.

I’m writing today’s blog post so that if I get kidnapped – you’ll know why.

As I do on most mornings, I hopped out of bed around 6:00AM. With my boxer briefs twisted and half my ass hanging out, I made my way into the kitchen to eat a banana and mix a protein shake. Through the corner of my eye, I saw movement outside one of my condo’s windows.

Without turning my head, I could see – through the early morning darkness – that someone was watching me from a neighboring building. Slowly and subtly, I repositioned myself to get a better view. As I did, I saw an older man slowly slide along the lower edge of his windowsill – with a pair of binoculars aimed in my direction. Every hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

I’ve been living in this condo for something like four years. During that time, it’s never occurred to me that I might be under observation – and I can only imagine what my curious neighbor may have seen.

Though I like the idea of exhibitionism (at least in theory), part of me feels a little bit violated. On the other hand, it feels like karmic justice. After all, the YouTube video that launched my career is about a neighbor that I caught masturbating. And, over the years, I’ve done my fair share of voyeuring.

The tables are now turned, and I’m not really sure what to do about the situation. I guess I could start wearing clothes, but let’s not get too carried away. At any rate, in the event that I go missing, now you now know where to start the search.

January 17, 2012
by Davey Wavey
22 Comments

How Wearing a Dress Made Me Question Everything.

For this Thursday’s talky blog, Haley Star gives me a fantastic drag makeover complete with makeup, wigs and fake eyelashes. It was quite the transformation – and, when all was said and done, I had two takeaways from the ordeal: My pecs make great boobs (I was at least a D cup), and drag queens deserve a lot of respect.

As someone with an abnormally high voice and a tendency to talk with my hands, I’m often ridiculed for being too flamboyant. I like to think that I’ve developed a very thick skin, and that I take it all in stride; I refuse to play the victim card. And, after all, what other people think of me is none of my business.

But maybe my skin isn’t as thick as I like to think.

To wear drag is to celebrate all those feminine characteristics and qualities about which so many of us are tormented. Walking around in a dress and high heels, you really have to own your femininity. It’s about embracing what can otherwise be a point of apprehension or shame. For me, it was surprisingly difficult.

Looking at my drag-self in the mirror, I realized my own discomfort. As much as I like to think that the teasing, taunting and torment hasn’t affected me, I know that it has. As much as I wanted to celebrate my femininity through drag, I found it very challenging to do so – and it gave me a new-found respect for confident drag queens like Haley Star who do it so effortlessly.

Who knew that wearing a dress could be such a spiritually eye-opening experience?

Stay tuned for Davey Wavey’s drag unveiling this Thursday, January 19.