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March 31, 2011
by Davey Wavey
108 Comments



Every Gay Guy Should Bottom. [Video]

In my 350+ YouTube videos, I’ve never shared my secret theory about guys refusing to bottom. That is, until today. Click below to watch the video.

108 Comments

  1. I bottom most of the time and I feel sorry for the straight men (or gay men) who don’t try it. They have NOoooo idea what they are missing. And when I use my finger instead of mi dick on my boyfriend I always make sure to massage his prostate, It drives him insane with pleasure! For those who’ve never done it, I really, really suggest to try it. You can thankj me when you come to New York…

  2. I must say from what I have experienced, guys who only top do not know what they are doing. Since they have never bottom they do not understand what it feels like and what best to do to make their partner feel their best (especially without pain).

  3. Once I was a total bottom. But then I fucked my boyfriend at his bequest. We’ve been switching off ever since. I still identify as a bottom, it’s just so much better! But I’ll admit topping every once in a while is fun too! Besides my bf has a great ass.

  4. I totally agree Davey, this is actually a topic me and y friend talk about a lot. Seriously, don’t knock it till you try it ;)

  5. I agree totally. You just about said it all…except,
    DON’T forget the condoms, dudes.

    The first comment about exchanging more often with older gays about where we all come from was spot on. Not that we older dudes know it all, but if we’re still alive after decades of AIDS, we must be doing something right. It’s kinda like when I see vintage porn from the early 1900′s in black and white or faded sepia colours. They actually had sex and sucked dick back then too! Who knew?
    How amazing!

    Be well,

  6. Yes every guy should know what it feels like to let someone enter you(Bottom). To know what a female feels when she did not climax, most straight guys and gay wants to get off and not think about his lover. I will not cum until my lover is ready to CUM. I am going to let him enjoy me all the way :)

  7. Sorry, Davy, but I think you’re off base on this one.
    People need to honour who they are, and in doing so don’t need to feel compelled that they “should” do anything.

  8. I totally agree Davey! I’m pretty vers and something I like to say a lot is “Versatility is the spice of life!”

  9. Maybe the bottom guy can’t stay hard long enough to top… so he prefers to bottom.

  10. I am not sure if I agree or not yet. I’m one of those “strict top” fellows, but it is only because in those times in my life when I’ve had my partner penetrate me, I’ve never enjoyed it. I’ve never had a penis up there, but I’ve been fingered during sex by more than one partner and have had it done both gently and a bit more aggressively. Is it not possible that the g-spot just isn’t universal? The reason I am not sure if I agree with you or not is because I do not know if you would count my experiences as enough for me to know what I enjoy and do not enjoy for sex or if you feel that only actual penile penetration can adequately fulfill your requirement.

  11. Quite profound Davy!!!

  12. what about the guys that won’t top!?! I have one of these and god is it frustrating!!! I wish, just once, that he would take me, throw me on the bed and just pound away!!!! and the real problem is he has a nice big…

  13. As a reply to your final post on this matter, Jeremy, no one has once condemned your choices. No one has stated that anything within your list above is unwarranted as a valid sexual practice and I challenge you to find a sentence where this is not the case. Merely, they have discussed options that lay outside of those choices. You, however, are condemning theirs by citing medical advice 40 years out of date. Please don’t preach tolerance in the same breath as dismissing the validity of the choices of others.

  14. By trying it once, by definition you agree. You tried it, decided it wasn’t for you and that’s that.

    Davey’s argument is not for universal versatility but for the trying on of the other man’s shoes at least once. You’ve ticked that box.

  15. You missed the salient point of my inquiry. The fact is that I have not exactly tried it by the definition posted and the specific point I was trying to make/ask was whether or not what I tried fit his definitions or not.

  16. Happy to accept that challenge. My original response, which I will restate, was that Davey’s anal-oriented video stated that there were three forms of sex–top, bottom and versitile regarding the first two. That was the point with which I was and am remain in total disagreement. There is a world of sexuality. The “40 years out of date” statement truly puzzles me. 40 years ago, people did not die from sex generally–repeat trips to the clinic were the worst that I heard about then. (I now live in a large city where the gay community is really under seige from Aids–high rates of infection.) But, I am accepting of anyone’s sexuality, whatever they choose. I just feel that the common “are you a top or a bottom?” business is boring and very limited in view. (In the straight world, it would be unusual for a male to ask a female, are you “missionary” or “doggie style”? What if she prefers somethings else? Or just prefers not to have one viewpoint of sex as a conversation opener?) Heck, I didn’t even mention condoms in my post, which I certainly would have had I been advising others. I’m not. Everyone is welcome to have the sexuality they enjoy and choose. I turn away only if I feel someone is really hurting themselves or hurting other people, but I am very broadminded on how others conduct themselves generally. But as I listed above, there are many forms of sexuality-top/bottom is only one. I have never dismissed the validity of anyone’s choices–on the contrary, the responses to my post above were caustic, filled with false statements, demeaning, and in some cases oddly blatant accusations that were totally unrelated to anything in my post. If you are going to flame someone, cite some facts please. I am only responding to your post because I feel you have honestly misunderstood my statements. Had Davey said in his video, gay people enjoy a wide variety of sexuality, including top, bottom or versitile, I would have had no problem at all. But listen to what he said–only top, bottom, or versitile (does not include the infinite variety of other sexuality–see Silverman’s “Joy of Gay Sex”, as one resource, and one which has been updated. Saw Silverman in a lecture once, he liked to describe the basic positions as “vanilla sex” — no shortage of variety with him.) I have no interest in bantering with or flaming anyone. I am from the generation of NYC gays that is considered the “lost” generation because of Aids–largely wiped out because of lack of information that today’s gays have. Ever read Larry Kramer? But I am alive and fully healthy at a relatively young 54, and thank God for it–though I lost my partner of 10 years and many friends to that disease. Health and sex do not have to be mutually exclusive. Enjoy your sex life, but use your brain, as well. Hopefully, this post ends the flaming–there are some very sensitive souls on this board who do not listen very well. My best to Davey Wavey–I continue to be a fan (especially for his 60′s-ish outlook on human kindness), and I wish him continued success. I look forward to many future videos.

  17. Regarding my other post, is Charles Silverstein, not “Silberman” who wrote “The Joy of Gay Sex” with Felice Picano. Sorry for the error.

  18. Just to clarify, my response was to the following: “I am not big on anything going in or out of the anal cavity, and I feel genuinely sorry for gays who develop horrible hemmoroidal or venereal problems there as many do.” To cite fact: regular anal sex does not incite haemorrhoids or any other venereal disease. In order to catch an STI (or VD for the Americans) one must have unprotected sex with an infected person. And haemorrhoids are most commonly caused by a low fibre/high fat diet. Over half of all Americans have them in some form. In cases where anal sex causes the patient to notice the haemorrhoid, the same effect would have happened from a large-ish bowel movement.

    I understand that you remember your doctor from the 70s teach you the facts that you cite, but research and medicine has come a long way since then. So has the understanding for the need for contraception as I’m sure you’re aware. I’m sure anal sex spread much venereal disease in the 70s. Protected sex was hardly a big topic then.

    Also, many people died from sex 40 years ago. AIDS may not have been as prevalent but it has been assisting in the deaths of humans since the Late 19th Century. (Leading theories are that it was transfered from West African apes). The disease was just not IDENTIFIED until the 80s. Since people die from AIDS related illnesses rather than the syndrome itself, the deaths of people prior to this date were just attributed solely to the disease they contracted with under the immuno-deficient state they were in.

    I agree with you however, that health and sex do not have to be mutually exclusive BUT I also think that health and ANAL sex do not have to be mutually exclusive. The above is my reasoning.

    I did not intend to flame but argue and debate reasonably. I saw issue with your comment/argument and wanted to respond.

    As for Davey splintering the ‘already splintered minority’, it hardly seems the actions of someone who blogs consistently about tolerance, acceptance and love. I think we would all do well to take his words in the spirit that they were intended rather than nit-pick his syntax. If it were post on the diversity of sexual options and he neglected to mention options outside of anal sex, I would not doubt the validity of your comment. The main talking point of this blog, however, was anal sex and he discussed the options accordingly.

  19. Responding to this post:
    At 2011.04.03 03:23, Joel said:

    Again, you make my point for me. You cite a statement where I am giving my opinion of what I prefer for my own sexualty, and my seem to take my explanation some blanket statement as to why it is “wrong” for others. I do not feel it is wrong for others–again, I stated in my original post, all entitled to their sexual pursuits. (And some are more physically flexible than others.) You reject the hemmoroids–anal sex connection. I just did a search on Google, and most of the resources that turn up do not reject this connection, nor do I. Not a doctor, I base my conclusion on the numbers of partners I have had with this problem (a good many young people). There are also sorts of reasons for hemorroids, it is clearly not easily explained in a “cause and effect” way–can be genetic, for example. But stool consistency is frequently cited as a contributor–so why would anything else going in and out of there not be? The literature also mention that anal fissures can frequently be mistaken for hemmorhoids–fissures (or tears) develop from friction, and anal fissures, even very miniscule or microscopic ones, are very frequently cited as very likely opportunity for the Aids virus (in high concentration in semen) to enter the bloodstream.

    I don’t accept your history of Aids, simply because there are many points of view on the etiology. Yours is a new one on me, and I have heard hundreds. I can tell you that from a practical point of view, Aids emerged in NYC as a mysterious “cancer” that no one could explain–the victims of the virus did not have the necessary info to protect themselves. (I don’t need a run-down on opportunitic infections and variety of same–I am well aware.) Young people today do not have the excuse of lack of information (unless they were forcibly raped or incapable of understanding what they were doing to begin with. Young, uninformed people continue to have sex, so the whole subject is a touchy one.) I have worked in hospitals for many years with Aids patiends, so I feel that I have a pretty good grasp of the progression of the virus. Partly because there are some accepted (but expensive) treatments now, there is a complacency about sex and risk. But this is far beyond what I ever intended to post. Again, my comment was only that about the limited scope of Davey’s statements about one kind of sex. But then again, I would probably bristle at the notion that gay people “should” do anything at all. Gays are a diverse community of individuals that are pursuing many types of sex, relationships and goals. (As you may have guessed from my original post, I hated the “clone look”, for example, which was popular in New York–if you are too young to remember, it was a fashion that “we all should” wear leather bomber jackets. Definite peer pressure to buy one of those things. Ugh.) We all should do nothing but lead positive and productive lives in my opinion. I’m sure Davey’s intent was much more light-hearted than the impression I’m leaving, but my response was merely that there is a wide range of sexuality out there, and there is.

  20. Okay,

    So I was watching Dr. Oz on tv and he stated that if your partner wants to have sex then you should never say no. I think if your partner first ask you if you could be “f”ed then you should say yes. However if you beat him to the punch line and you ask him if you can “f” him then he should allow you to do so. To me that is only reasonable.

    • What is this 3rd grade? You just defined “shotgun” rule. I would hope a committed couple would be a tad more sophisticated then relying solely on the “I called it first” rule.

  21. Who else has even brought up whether or not the sex partners or POTENTIAL sex partners HIV status is known or unknown to each other? If you cannot even bring it up on this online forum how are going to bring it up when there is a sexual opportunity!? Certainly any anxiety about any particular sexual practice is going to involve whether or not you get infected or pass along an infection.

  22. my boyfriend is a strict top and i guess that makes me a strict bottom. during our first sexual intercourse i really wanted to pound him but he doesn’t want to so then everytime he pounds me when we have sex i’m really loving it that i don’t even mind putting my dick in his ass anymore… and i don’t think we won’t have any problem about that cause he loves to top me and i love to be his bottom..:D

  23. I bottomed before I topped! And I LOVED IT!!! It is such an amazing feeling I have to say.
    But me and my boyfriend thankfully take turns. I love to bottom, but I love to top too! So it’s nice to have the best of both worlds.
    Anyone who hasn’t tried bottoming, do it! It’s Great!!!

  24. Only if you be the Top.

  25. Hi Davey,
    I am 35 years old and a total top. I’m also 5ft 4in tall and not extremely butch so every guy I meet assumes I’m a bottom and wants to fuck me. When I started watching your video I felt myself getting defensive as this topic hits very close to home for me. You really won a lot of points with me when you mentioned the exceptions of guys who may have experienced some sexual trauma.
    In my case I experienced an incident of sexual trauma at the age of 20. Prior to that incident I hadn’t had much sex and had not bottomed at all. In the years following I became much more sexually active but found that I was not able to bottom. Most of my sexual partners thought I could bottom but was choosing not to. Rarely did anyyone believe me that I “couldn’t” or simply hadn’t been able to yet. Honestly, i deidn’t know either. Kinda felt like “which came first? The chicken or the egg” Did I simply hate bottoming or was I not able to because of the sexual trauma.
    After years of beating myself up and feeling somewhat inferior as a gay man I decided that I would simply embrace the fact that I am a top (no matter what the reason) I in no way think this makes me more of a man or superior. In fact I envy guys who can bottom and even more so guys who are vers. I still feel like I am missing out on huge part of my sexuality. I have read all sorts of stuff and tried different toys. Countless bottom friends have tried to give me advice but after one or two failed attempts I feel defeated and give up.
    Anyway, not really sure why I’m saying all of this except that I really connected and appreciated your video. I would be interested in hearing any thoughts you might have about my situation.

    Sincerely,
    Pedro

  26. Your sexuality is your own–very personal and very unique to each of us. If what you need in a sexual relationship is not compatible with the sexual desire of a partner, there are two choices–you can move on, which is the easiest, or you can try to work it out which can take a long time. The difference is in the first case, you are dealing with someone who views you someone to satisfy his own physical needs, and in the second case, you are dealing with a unique human being who realizes you are a unique human being. A lot of gay connections fail because of seeming sexual incompatability right out of the gate. I always found this rather sad–it is surprising what you can work out if the other person is willing to put forth the effort because they care about you.

  27. U are so amazeing I love u lol this is so true I have never done that much with a guy just bjs cause like I have only had bj buddys lol ifk if that real term but does anyone davey or anyone else about like first time anal

  28. You’ve already done what DW was suggesting, T – you’ve tried both experiences. Congratulations. You and your partner have established what you like the best. Matt (above) identifies the discomfort and lack of understanding that some guys who refuse to experience ‘receiving’ can cause their partners, especially during moments the body needs to adjust and relax.

    I always believe in the mutuality of sex – i.e. that you are both guys, and love the balance possible; and don’t like the thinking that equates it with role-playing male & female. Most of us feel like males with males whether or not we are ‘topping’ or ‘bottoming’ – and our partners should too. Congratulations on finding your “perfect match”: I hope to find mine too!

  29. Davey, I totally agree with you about the male g-spot!!!!!! I recently found it and OMG!!!!!! I have never cum so much!!!! Ever!!! It was the best feeling!!! I was wondered when and what age did you find your g-spot?
    Thanks sooo much,
    Branden

  30. Would you please stop with the whole, “I have more experience with the whole gay scene than you ‘young people’ do, so you should just accept what I say” crap? Jesus, you older guys need to make some compromises because the more you hew to the past and refuse to adapt, the less that people will want to deal with you.

    By the way, while NYC was the first place given a lot of attention for the virus showing up, it was NOT the first place. You want to play the history card, then make sure you know the history of it in the world, not just in a big city.

    • Jeremy’s a troll. He likes stirring shit up. Plenty of elderly folk like to do that since they can’t do much else.

      Pedro — don’t listen to Jeremy or Jeff or any of these guys who are so anally-frightened. Don’t let their frigidity cause you to give up something you enjoy.

  31. Oh, please. You are the LAST person Pedro needs to be taking advice from!

  32. Davey, Darlin, loved the vid…but can we please admit the plant behind you is dead, let it go! I love all your videos and your tips on exercise, keep up all the good work. You are a breath of fresh air for our community. Thanks, Cliff

  33. I feel so sorry for bottoms. What a bizarre and filthy way to treat your body just so another man can have “sex” with you and make you feel attractive. And all those HIV poz men and those who have passed away senselessly because of it. The man in that video should be ashamed of himself and I can’t even imagine how his poor family must feel having to put up with his antics on youtube.

    • Jeff, I feel more sorry for you. What’s it like to have such a narrow mind that you have to be an asshole about things? What’s it like to be you, where you’re so far up on that high horse of yours that you must be breathing rarefied air? Does someone wipe your butt for you? Feed you your meals so that your hands don’t get sullied by food?

      I’d call you pathetic and sad, but then I’d be doing the actual pathetic and sad a disservice by comparing you to them. You’re infinitely worse.

    • I think you can have the coil fitted which acts like an emnceegry contraceptive best speak to your doctor about the possibility of that really.Seriously though take it from someone who has been through an abortion and had a baby that wasn’t planned there is no easy way to deal with an unplanned pregnancy it’s much better to take a pill and have peace of mind.Edit just had a look online and you can have a copper IUD fitted up to 5 days after sex get down your GP’s today!

  34. JC, how about we dispense with the name calling. Calling me a troll without having met me? I had no idea prior to reading the posts here how many millennials were so self-centered, boring and sexually “one-track” only. Even straights are more imaginative in bed.

    Get a life, JC. How about watching more Davy and learn to be a human being. You are failing at it.

    Jerks with no argument resort to name calling–and projection–most likely a pimply toll himself.

    • Jeremy, I think you’re confusing “troll” — as in the Internet kind, where someone posts something obnoxious and repugnant, and “troll” as in the creepy old sleaze who won’t take no for an answer.

      I couldn’t speak to the latter, but as to the former, I’ll borrow from another poster here who categorized you as someone stuck in the past. You are hopelessly out of sync with the present. If you want to live in the past, do so. But save your high-handed proclamations that “millennials” are boring, single-focused and self-centered. How would you really know, if you disdain them so much? You’re assuming as much as you say others are.

      BTW, having read your replies on this thread, I find it hilarious that you’re telling JC to watch more Davy when you clearly despise Davy yourself. Pot. Kettle. Black.

      Oh, and you don’t really proof your replies. That’s supposed to be “troll” in that last sentence of yours, right? (Did you hear most browsers have spelling and grammar check now?)

  35. AJ, I’m not sure what you’re so angry about. Some of us choose to live in the real world rather than the unhealthy stereotypical gay world of tops and bottoms and endless HIV tests. I think your butt’s been in pain far too often, and you’ve probably had umpteen AIDS scares. If someone posted a vid why all gay men shouldn’t bottom
    (or top) the gay community would be up in arms. Oh, I forgot, HIV/AIDS isn’t a death sentence anymore.

    • Actually, Jeff, if your butt’s in pain when you’re getting fucked, you’re doing it wrong.

      I’ve been lucky — I’ve had no HIV scares, probably because I’m not picking up strangers for quickies off of Craigslist or in the local bars. I’m tested once a year and that’s by my choice, not because someone’s come to me and confessed he did something wrong or because it burns when I piss.

      You’re actually the one who sounds angry, Jeff. Maybe it’s you who’s had all those problems you’ve tried to project on to me. Maybe you should post a video on why you think gay men shouldn’t top or bottom. I’d be interested in seeing the response.

      BTW, you are correct — for many men who have HIV, the increase in better, more effective HIV medications has given them an opportunity to live better than their peers from 20+ years ago. Really, are you going to be angry about that? Why? Are you one of those men who looks at the poz guys of recent years and feel resentment that they’re not suffering as you are?

      You can call it a death sentence, sure. But that’s on you, isn’t it?

  36. Get a life, Adam. I am doing quite well with mine, thank you. If I needed advise in that department, I would not look to a little snot with major attitude issues.

    Mine are real relationships based on caring and understanding–not quick hook-ups with God-knows-what in the back corner of the men’s room.

    You obviously have reading and comprehension problems as you completely overlooked the many complimentary things I have said about Davey in these posts–I like most of his videos and enjoy his take on things. Since the butt video–the only one I have taken issue with–I do find myself watching Davey less often. Hopefully, he will try to be more inclusive. Davey recently spoke about the fact that he never drinks. Would he appreciate a video that said all gay men should drink? Certainly, nearly all gay men do, so he is out of touch. Since gay bars have long been the foundation of the gay movement–the modern gay rights movement started via a riot at a bar–is it not wrong that a gay man should not drink?

    A troll is a troll–no age required. Adam, I am certain that you are as ugly as your attitudes. Never met a pimply troll? I certainly have. And millenials often have issues with personal hygiene.

    • Jeremy, when you have to revert to insults about looks, it cheapens the rest of your comments. Not that they’re particularly thought-provoking or insightful — because they’re really not — but I’ll concede the fact that you do seem rather envious of the fact that there’s this huge group of gay men who are quite content to live their lives how they choose to, rather than bow to your rather quaintly outdated mode of thought.

      I fully expect that your next reply will continue to be filled with insults against “millennials” and other gay men who are younger (perhaps maybe in heart and mind, too) because that’s really all the ammunition you have. I suppose you also sit on your condo’s porch in the “active adult living community” and yell at the staff to get off of the lawn, lest that 5′x5′ patch of grass be sullied.

      See there, Jeremy? If you want to remain in the gutter, I’m happy to help you stay there, because you don’t scare me, you don’t threaten me and you sure as hell don’t pose a challenge to me. :)

  37. Adam, you are delusional. Helps me to understand the employment issues your generation has.

    • Jeremy, you’re a bitter old man who doesn’t like getting old. How else can one explain your constant hatred for “millennials”? (BTW, the employment issue crosses generational barriers. Read the news. People of all ages are having to deal with a lack of jobs!)

      @Adam, you hit the nail on the head. His short response speaks volumes.

  38. AJ, you have been lucky, but luck sometimes runs out. Good luck on your next test! Getting tested only means you’re unsure about what you’re doing.

    20% of gay men are now HIV+ from fudgepacking, and that’s 30 years into a disease we know how to prevent. Kind of odd, I think. And your butt supposed to hurt when anything goes in it. That means your sphincter is working correctly; it’s supposed to keep things out. It’s probably time for you to see the doc.

    As far as meds go, they don’t work well on every HIV+ person. Taking pills for diseases isn’t a panacea. Ask HIV+ guys, ask diabetics, ask any living person who depends on pills to survive.

    And I’d never do a vid on tops and bottoms. After all, if you get HIV you can just take a pill. Brilliant! Keep watching the gay porn because that’s what you’re supposed to do.

    Happy Fudgepacking!

    • Nice to know that you’re happily homophobic, Jeff! Wow, the amount of sheer vitriol you poured into your reply to me just screams someone who is seriously bitter about his situation in life. “Fudgepacking”? Wow, Jeffy — someone’s been spending a little too much time at the broken altar of Fred Phelps. ;)

      I get tested because I CHOOSE to — not because I have anything to fear from my activity; certainly not that I’m “unsure” (I actually read that line to my coworkers; they cracked up). I’d rather spend the money to get tested to maintain my own personal peace of mind that my consistent use of safe sex practices is working. My money, my choice. If I wanted to get an eye exam every month or a dental appointment ever 90 days, guess what? That’s my money, too! :)

      If my luck runs out — and that’s a mighty big “if,” given that I practice safe sex — then I will deal with the situation as I do many things — taking responsibility for it. But since I don’t take insanely stupid risks (apparently something you must have done, hmmm?), I doubt I’m ever going to come up poz. Because again — I practice safe sex. (Adjust your glasses if you can’t see that clearly, Jeff.)

      Sure, I watch gay porn. My choice there. Just because I WATCH it, doesn’t mean I emulate it. I mean, that would be pretty stupid, since it’s fairly obvious that if you have sex in a supermarket or in the backyard by the pool (on the grounds of a mansion/apartment building/desert island that I certainly can’t afford), it’s a FANTASY. Just how deluded do you think other gay men are, Jeff? Clearly quite a bit, based on your homophobic diatribe.

      I’d ask if we were done, but I’m sure you’re not. Go ahead. You know you crave the last word. Shame you won’t get it, eh? ;)

  39. I’m not bitter at all. My guy and I are very happy, and we find it ironic when gay men like yourself speak of homophobia when most of the homophobia occurs in the gay community when you guys give each other AIDS. Fred Phelps is very aware of what you’re doing to each other and so is the rest of the world.

    You’re unsure of your hookups that’s why you’re getting tested. The AIDS fairy doesn’t just arrive at night and sprinkle HIV dust around to unsuspecting gays. It’s not like straight guys and girls are getting regular HIV tests.

    As for eye exams and dental, that’s something we do for ourselves. HIV is something that’s given and received by another gay guy; you don’t really get it. And let’s face it, as barebacking porn has risen dramatically so have the HIV rates in the gay community. We could have done away with that dreadful disease years ago but you guys think you’re not really gay unless you’re packin’ fudge. Oh, well.

    Btw, it’s kind of strange you’d tell your co-workers about this and they’d crack up. You must have them convinced you’re immune to HIV. Safe/safer sex are code words for “what have I been doing? I better get tested.”

    • You’re so cute, Jeffy. You go on and keep believing anything you want about me. I know with every reply you make, I know you’re some bitter old man whose lover is probably the same way. Desperately clinging to one another because you’re terrified that if he left, what would you do then? Hookers have standards, too, so there goes THAT avenue if he leaves.

      I get tested because I want to. I’ve got plenty of money to spend. Why not give to the local clinic and get a benefit in return? (You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you…the only benefits you get are likely Medicare.) I practice safe sex and always have. But again, you’re stuck in your jealous homophobic mindset, so of course you couldn’t understand that, now could you?

      My coworkers think you’re amusing as hell, actually. One of them really wants to meet you and see if you’re wearing a tinfoil hat for all your crackpot ideas.

      The fact that you speak so approvingly of Fred Phelps makes the point for me. It must be rough being a homo who gets hard for Fred. The self-loathing I’m sure is amazing. (Your lover probably uses his hand a lot, hmmm?)

      Thanks for my daily dose of laughter! You should write a blog, “Whimpering Confessions of a Broken-Down Homophobe”. There, now you even have a title. ;)

  40. AJayGay,

    enjoy your self loathing life!

    • My my, Jeff. For my part, I hope you enjoy your hate-filled dysfunctional relationship with every other gay man within your orbit. Such homophobia is really disturbing.

  41. Dysfunctional? lol! By gay standards, probably. We’ve been in a monogamous relationship for 14 years. We’re not stereotypical fudgepacking open relationship guys. Homophobia is you guys and your constant hooking up and giving each other STD’s.

    Wavey should pay for all of your psychological and medical bills.

    • Sweetheart, when you constantly use words like “fudgepacking” and assume that anyone hooking up is spreading STDs, what *should* we think about you, Jeff? It’s a blanket statement on an entire community, one you and your partner are a part of. (Before you say you’re not, I’ll clarify it for you — the GAY community, Jeff. Unless you’re actually straight and merely trolling for controversy, in which case I’ll introduce you to some producers here in L.A. who’d give you a run for your money.)

      You don’t like being called homophobic; that’s obvious. I dislike accusing another gay person of such a thing, but all I’m seeing from your comments is hate. Again, what *should* we think about you, when you express such disdain and nastiness? Nobody is perfect and I will acknowledge that there are people out there — gay, bi, straight and whatever else — who are fouling the collective waters with dangerous activities.

      But not *all* of them, Jeff. You know that as well as I do. You just don’t want to admit to it, lest your causticness be blunted.

      There is nothing wrong with anal sex. You don’t like it? Fine; that isn’t what defines our community, but for some, it’s part of what they enjoy. Why do you feel the need to look down on others who do that? Why do you look down on people who may express themselves more sexually than in other ways? I fully acknowledge there is a problem with HIV transmission, but I also think it’s ridiculous for you to make sweeping comments about how HIV and AIDS would be eradicated if everyone stopped fucking each other up the ass.

      Come on, Jeff — it’s more than that and you know that, too. It’s intravenous drug use. It’s infected men and women in Africa who bring children into this world who already have the disease in vitro. It’s people in governments who look the other way when health organizations ask to bring in doctors and medicines to treat those people and let this continue.

      Stop drawing such a wide net around the community and painting everyone other than you as the cause of all this. Other than your 14 years with your partner, what have you done to help curb this, in action or intent? Volunteered? Donated? My sarcasm aside, I’m genuinely interested.

  42. you are totally right….i’m 50 and was a botttom for many years > as my confidence grew i’m a top or bottom/

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