Davey Wavey's official blog. Shirtless adventures, videos, pictures, stories and more!

October 15, 2012
by Davey Wavey
41 Comments



Homophobic TSA Agent?

Do you think I should say something about the homophobic TSA agent? Let me know in the comments. Also, check out the website: http://www.nohomophobes.com/#!/today/

Check out today’s video!

41 Comments

  1. Well ya u shod that is a big a big big big big lawsuit an gangs them but I know u won’t sew them theo u can I am and not but gat som money out of it or gat a discount nex time or a free flit yaaaaaaaa is free that is goooood; ok re-cap that is not right to do that I would say somthing to the them!

  2. I wonder if making the face might have been viewed as reinforcing what the TSA agent said. Perhaps the look of disgust may have been interpreted as “OMG, men with lipstick, that’s so disgusting” and not “Wow, you’re an insensitive tool” Either way I might have loudly said “Where the hell did my lipstick go? Did you take it for yourself?” when collecting my things. I say write an email to the airport and to the local TSA office at that airport

  3. I think you already know the answer to your question. The incident has very obviously affected you. Your first gut reaction was to do something about it, and it seems to me your gut is still telling you to do something about it. If that’s true, what’s holding you back from taking action?

  4. Lighten up, Davey. The lipstick joke may have been the agent’s offhand way of acknowledging you as an out, gay man. If you want to encourage others to come out, then you have to tell them about such “acknowledgements.” In a way, those comments can be others’ polite way of sending a message that they know you are gay. It depends upon the tone of voice in how it is said. We take offense if we are overly defensive about our gayness. It’s better than being called” faggot,” isn’t it?

  5. Being upset is reasonable, even if it was meant to be a joke, what about kids that hear that? It’s promoting more homophobic speech by saying it’s okay to project it in airports, esp when people fly internationally so it’s reaching a larger audience, even if he had been singling you out, it didn’t look like a compliment but more of a direct insult if that was the case.

  6. What would happen to his son if his son is into wearing lipstick…

  7. I think you should probably write in or something. Just make sure you make them aware you know it was a joke, as they may not take it seriously as soon as they ask him about it and he says ‘I was just kidding’. But I think you have a legitimate complaint.

  8. Because he is a government employee, there may be some restrictions on what he can or can not say on the job… but generally when making that kind of comment in that context, people have freedom of speech in the USA. If you found it offensive you have a couple of choices… spend time to write a letter, or email, or contact someone by phone to complain. If you do any of those things, do so knowing there is a 99.999% chance of it being immediately discarded with no action. Remember… the very same freedom that allows a man to wear lipstick freely, allows the security person to say what he did.

  9. I think that yes, this can be viewed as offensive, but I don’t quite follow how it is homophobic. I know that there are gay men who dress up in women’s clothing, BUT there are also straight men who dress up in women’s clothing. I know that cause I’ve seen a couple of portraits of people like that on Television.

    I would say this points to a much bigger problem regarding gender and the expectations traditional gender-roles puts on people in our society.

  10. I am with Tom. I think the comment/joke speaks to gender expression/expectation more than sexuality. Since so much of the rest of the world is insensitive to the differences between various groups within the LGBT spectrum I feel it is important that we understand and respect what makes those groups different. People who do not fit the “norms” of gender expression aren’t necessarily gay, and people who do aren’t necessarily straight. If you still feel strongly about it after this time to reflect perhaps writing something would make you feel better, and cause someone at TSA to at least consider another perspective (lets not forget he might not have intended to offend or realize it might have been).

  11. Try to emphatize with the TSA agent. He has a lousy job, standing there for hours a day, mouthing the same instructions about belts and lipsticks over and over again. Besides that, he has problably seen every imaginable personal item people carry in their handbags–condoms, lipsticks, vibrators, perhaps dildos. If I had his job, I would be tempted to make an occasional funny just to break the monotony of it all.

    If political correctness is a precondition for our coming out, we better stay in the closet because, although societal attitudes about LGBT people are ameliorating, it takes time for most to come along. And many may be just as nervous and insecure about dealing with us as we are with them.

    • True about the agent’s job,Joel J:Boring.
      A few years ago,when trying to leave Omaha for Chicago,en route to Philly,my shoulder bag repeatedly set off the alarm.After the 5th,or 6th time,they let me go through.I think those agents hadn’t had so much excitement in many years.

  12. YES, I WOULD BE TEMPTED , BUT I WANT TO FLY TODAY , AND DO NOT NEED ANY PROBLEMS.
    SO I WOULD PROBABLY SAY NOTHING.

  13. Firstly, I think calling him homophobic is completely off-base. Most men don’t wear lipstick. Most gay men don’t wear lipstick. So this was not, in itself, a homophobic comment.

    Secondly, what’s wrong with saying “I hope no men are wearing lipstick”? Who among us hasn’t made a joke or comment at the expense of another and what he or she was wearing? To wit, Davey, you made an entire video degrading straight guys for their underwear choices. You said, yourself “Oh my God. Oh, my God, yeah; I’m not getting my dollar bills out for that.” And you went on to ask “What about those seems OK?”

    So, I wonder, why is it OK for you to make a joke – specifically pointed at a straight guy – about something he’s wearing that doesn’t meet your personal standards but it’s not OK when a TSA agent makes a joking comment – not linked in the slightest to sexuality – to create levity in the otherwise tense atmosphere of a security check?

    I agree that we must be vigilant where vigilance is called for. One of my employees recently said aloud to a coworker “I’m not dressing my kid up in that bumble bee costume for Halloween. That’s so fag.” I took her aside and asked her what she meant by that. I asked her to think about how she’d feel if someone made a disparaging comment about women in her presence. She really hadn’t equated the two things because she didn’t get that some people might feel offended at the word “fag”, when used in an indirect context. And I believe her. She’s not a malicious person. She just didn’t get it. And now she does.

    But to start reading homophobia in to someone’s actions when it seems clear that wasn’t intended and to mull over making a formal protest, potentially endangering his job, seems a little over-zealous. So many of my gay friends have felt so discriminated against throughout their lives or have seen discrimination against others to the point that they begin to read discrimination and homophobia into everything. My good friend Joe even complained recently about a grocery store cashier who had a bad attitude while ringing his order up. He deduced that she must have been a homophobe because of the tone of her voice. She said nothing other than giving him his total but, he said, it was her tone that was “offensive” and “homophobic”. Of course she couldn’t have just been having a bad day or something.

    It behooves us to educate and make people think about their actions when they could be taken truly offensively. But as far as a joke about lipstick on men? Give your head a shake, Davey, and learn to pick your battles more wisely. And look at analogues in your own behaviour for guidance. If you make light about people’s apparel, can you really call someone else out for it?

  14. Yeah.. calm down, Davey. Interpreting his comment as homophobic is a bit of a stretch.

    There are way too many people out there that like to kick the hornet’s nest just to see what happens. Don’t be one of those people.

    Had he said something like, “I hope there’s no fags in line with lipstick”, then you’d have a legitimate complaint.

  15. First it was rude of him to say that, but now think how you reacted, it says more about you than him. You are letting him “live in your head rent free”. Also karma’s only a BITCH if you are. Love you always!!

  16. Im so sorry but I will not let stuped ppl with stuped coments hurt or bother me. There is so much more possetive things to focus on that the dum things ppl say. I would like to hear of a good thing some one sed about other ppl why don’t we hear about that. I make the choice to be possetive and live possetive , so little negative things like that don’t come into my equation for me life.

  17. You are being far to sensitive. Choose wisely when taking on a battle and this is not a big issue. Also it is GLBT and not LBGT….that reversal pisses me off.

    • Whether it is GLBT or LGBT, it’s a mouthful and an impediment to normal speech. How about we just say SD for Sexually Deviant?

  18. Be thankful that a TSA agent is attemtping humor and being light-hearted. The whole process of screening is a drudgery and for passengers a high-stress moment. If a TSA agent is willing to give everyone an excuse to smile and relax, then be thankful rather than overly-sensitive.

  19. I like that several people have mentioned comparing the behavior of others to things we do and say and then considering whether or not what they’ve done is so different. It will help us all to understand one another better and act a little better ourselves. As for the order of letters in whatever acronym you use to describe the group of people who aren’t quite heterosexual, I could not care less which comes first. I only used what I had heard most recently at a youth center I volunteer at (and not what was ranted about here I might add). No one group is more important so I don’t see why (though I’d be happy to hear if there is a reason) that one should come before the other. So if there isn’t a reason would it not be just as overly sensitive as some have accused Davey of being to be upset over something like this? All of life is just about trying to understand the perspective of others…

  20. You compliment us when you say we’re wiser than you, but I have to say you’re pretty wise yourself. If you had made a scene would you have made your flight? I’m not one to pick fights, but there is the fact that you did pay for a ticket, and you did not pay for his insults.

    Please feel free to write a letter, but the focus is that he did enforce his lifestyle preferences with his hopes being stated so openly to you. He wasn’t slandered, but transgendered men were by his act of trying to make humor of it.

    To really change someone’s attitude it may help to exaggerate it from the other side, write a letter as a woman fed up with being forced to wear lipstick all the time just to please men.

    Peace!

  21. Much ado about nothing…feed the hungary, take care of the elderly, stop wining.

  22. Yeah, this is one of those “pick your battles” moments, Davey. I don’t agree with the lipstick comment, but I think if you start commenting on every comment that is made eventually someone is going to tell you to “Go and get a life.” So, in this instance, I think your video is perfect because it’s a conversation starter if nothing else.
    You’re not going to change everybody, but as you’ve said many times “Love is the way, not violence.”
    I’d say, Davey, just keep spreading your message of love and understanding. The ripple effect with the stone being skipped across the pond as it were.
    Peace out. *smooch smooch*

  23. No. Don’t bother following up. Save your energy for the important stuff. It’s constructive to knit socks but not nit wits.

  24. Davey. Either you are easily offended or really desperate for talkie blog topics.

    • Or could it be that he knew this topic would spark discussion. After writing my essay above I thought on it and realized that maybe he asked the question not for advice but to get people talking and sharing ideas.

  25. That actually seems pretty tame of a comment made by him. Don’t get worked up by it. Chances are he forgot what he said 5min after he said it. He’s not a bigot for saying that, or a homophobe, he’s just uneducated and ignorant. Carry on.

  26. Ya Davey he’s a faggot like you

    • Have you ever thought about adnidg a little bit more than just your thoughts? I mean, what you say is important and everything. But its got no punch, no pop! Maybe if you added a pic or two, a video? You could have such a more powerful blog if you let people SEE what youre talking about instead of just reading it.

  27. You Bitch about this person but prolly sucked his CocK and ate his ShIt

  28. Davey would you rather he had been hitting on you than trying to be funny in such a non fun job? Or maybe he knew how you where and that was his way of saying hi? But on that note you know I am a gay guy and even some times I will say things that some gays mite fined offensive if they don’t know me.

  29. I do give the agent cudos for attempting to lighten the moment but whether meant as homophobic comment or not the agent wasn’t being very professional which is what we hope our public employees strive for. Seldom have I found a TSA agent that had was capable of expressing a sense of humor.

  30. If this really is the height of the alleged homophobic behaviour you’ve experienced, then you are so bloody lucky. Life has been very kind to you.

    sense of humour bypass anyone?

  31. Great information. Davey I hope you keep writing more blogs like this one. Thank you for the info Davey.

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