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March 1, 2011
by Davey Wavey
39 Comments



How to Be Sexy: Own It! [Video]

Sometimes, the camera just turn itself on and I find myself unable to hold back. That’s exactly what happened this morning.

Click below to watch an impromptu video from my second YouTube channel, DaveyWaveyRaw.

39 Comments

  1. I totally agree with the smiling part. You barely see people smile anymore, but when you do, it just lightens up a room for me. I find it VERY sexy :) Plus it just spreads good aura

  2. Fake it til you make it!

  3. EXACTLY what I’ve been talking about in a post of mine! go on read it! http://hyperspezifisch.blog.de/2009/11/07/how-to-be-loved-7325480/

    (though I have an issue with the length of that post, skip the first few paragraphs and start at “But do you see the dilemma”

  4. LOVE the idea. Way more easily said than done. That said, I guess it’s time to get it done. I’ll be working on putting sexy vibes out into the world. I’ll sell this car. She is no lemon.

  5. I think the problem is lack of confidence and low-self esteem…a lot of people suffer from it, including gays-in fact it might even be worse for gays because there is a “standard” that the gay community pushes and propagates and this can cause untold suffernings to the gay dudes who feel they are inadequate…and does nothing for their confidence–the gay community can be very superficial

  6. Davey shouldn’t you give us a little tour of your new home? That would be fun.

  7. Haha – this was recorded at my boyfriend’s house. I’ll give you a tour of my new place once I move in!

  8. Mhmm… I guess you could file some of these reactions to the ‘you’re beautiful’ message under ‘fishing for compliments’ ;)

  9. There are a ton of under confident people out there. It doesn’t make a lot of sense. It leads to depression when people are not confident in who they are. It really puts a barrier on who you can aspire to be if you don’t have that self confidence.

  10. I think you are right Davey. When you see someone that is smiling and seems confident then you are instantly put into a different head space….It is contagious.

  11. i smile all the time and i get two different responses; a smile back or an evil glare lol anyway i love love love the smiles <3

  12. Davey,
    are you and your boyfriend in an open relationship?

  13. Yeah I kinda wanted to ask that too, Nico… the Grindr mention this time, and a few bits in previous talky blogs have made me wonder what the scoop is. No judgments, just wondering if that’s the message we’re supposed to get?

  14. Oh, and um that question aside, TOTALLY agree with you, DW — we all got what we got and we all get one ride, so own it live it love it!

  15. Just to answer the question think you rite but I hate people that say there ugly when there not it just make the real ugly people (me) feel wose lol

  16. Personally i dont think you should fake it because its not the person you are. When you find that right person they might like the aspects of you that are fake but thats is not you. Just be your self thats the most sexyist (I dont think that even a word)

  17. The only truly UGLY people are the ones that are filled with hate and ignorance. Physical attractiveness is very subjective. What one person finds hot, is not necessarily hot to everyone. So Jack, yes you are hot to someone.

  18. There was a pyscological study done about Likeability and the results were not all that suprising. The study found that people measure how well a converstion (no matter the context, weather persuasive, imformative, formal, informal, ect) by the amount of time they spend talking about themselves. The study found that the “most likeable” people were the ones that asked questions about the other person and kept them talking about their life.

    The same is true in reverse. The people that were the most unlikeable were the ones that spent the majority of the conversation either talking about themselves or trying to swing the topic back toward themselves. And i totally agree.Think about being at a party: That one person who you dread coming to talk to you is always that guy that talks about himself.

    So that is the key to being sexy, being earnestly interested in another person.

  19. so one time I was playing “Gestures” with your mom….and so you should ask her about her “sexy” move….if you don’t already know it…ps…if she forgets…just remind her by saying “CHARLIE CHAPLAN”

  20. It’s not a question of faking, but pretending, as a game. It takes us a lot of effort to reach that specific point we’ve been aiming, and if we get attached, in the beginning, to those things that seems not be working out, it’s really easy to give up. We won’t get a six-pack abs in 4 weeks (even though there are people who says it), but we can surely gain a much better abs in 4 weeks. The six-packs, come with time. So instead of looking at it in a negative way (Oh, gosh!!! I don’t have a six-pack after four weeks), I can just say (hey, dude. It’s much better, isn’t it? I’ll surely get my six-packs abs very soon). But the fact is that being different from other people and having my own metabolism, it can takes me faster or longer to achieve my aim. So, whenever I look at the mirror and see that I don’t have my six-packs yet… I just pretend I’m a few days closer to my aim. I don’t know when I’ll get it… but I surely will. And being negative about my self won’t help me achieve it.
    And about being beautiful – oh! I Think Davey Wavey is gorgeous, for sure. I’m not as gorgeous as him. But it never stopped me to date nice good looking guys and to live happily a very long term relationship.
    I wouldn’t post a picture of myself in GRINDR, because I really don’t believe that the guys there are searching for anything more than sex. And for me, sex comes after – after the attraction, after the smile, after a good chat, after a bottle of wine, a nice dinner and music, after romance and after enjoying the communion.
    At least in Brazil. I don’t know how Grindr works in the rest of the world.

  21. I’m still sort of dealing with the whole starve starve laxy laxy cry cry stage of my teen years, and let me tell you how I feel: The world has shaped the keyhole to acceptence into beauty. Without beauty, you socially not allowed to walk around with that smile on your face, your supposed to hate how you wear this earthly skin. But heres the thing. If your focused on YOURSELF and YOUR body and YOUR looks, then your just being conceited. When you look out to others, and help them, compliment them, cheer for them, and laugh WITH them. Then this beautiful garden beings to grow inside your soul, and people begin to see it shine with every smile your graciously give them. And before you know it, your more beautiful than every before. You have left the shallowness of physical attraction behind for a pretty paradgm, a more powerful one. So slap a bandage on yourself and make something of the short time we have here on this earth.

  22. Some of the best advice ever. I say this because it was not only postive, but also took into consideration that not everyone has the kind of feedback and experiences that they may want and that just simply by having a “positive” attitude would necessarily make it that way, but that accepting where we are and who we are we can only make it better. Also whatever God, genetics or the Universe has given you- why not celebrate it and pass it forward in a postive way. Being blessed doesn’t make you better, but feeling blessed with what you have and passing on in a loving way only spreads the blessings.

  23. I totally agree with you; but so many people lack the confidence to look good, they don’t even give a smile. I belive a smile can lift even the saddest day, and a simple smile lets people know that you care.

  24. I think I will try this at school tomorrow. Let’s see how people react when I smile more.

  25. How does Chipotle like Canada?
    Love and peace to you. You are beautiful. Especially your nipples.

  26. being sexy-is having confidence-in yourself and others.its contagious-but it has to be worked on-from day one.you start this at an early age-and continue to work on it-to where you are now-at the present moment in time.i know a guy at work-he is young-attractive-takes care of his body-avoids confrontation.he appears to have many friends-works two jobs-dates a smoking woman at a university.lives at home for now.sold his automobile-drives his parents autos.probably has some substantial savings-all this is a plus-it all adds up.he has confidence-and he smiles-and people smile back.plus he knows how to carry himself.thats how he exudes-sexiness.plus he no doubt is a spoiled suburban brat.what works for him-maybe wont work for others.i dont have this-i must try other avenues.what works for one-may not work for others.

  27. does Chipotle need a passport to enter Canada?or does he get a free pass-because he is a dog?lucky Chipotle.

  28. This message (to me) seems to promote being superficial much like the sign-off message, “I love you”.

    What’s wrong with being authentic? “Fake it until you make it?” Make what? Isn’t there enough faking going on in today’s world?

  29. Yeah, I think I am good looking. :)

    Love you too, Davey. *hugs*

  30. I totally agree. Even a little cocky is hot. But I know why people (myself included) do that. It is a defense mechanism for insecurity issues. It’s pretty much acknowledging and putting out your flaws before anyone else does, BC you are afraid they are going to (or at least are thinking about all your flaws). Kind of like a make fun of yourself before anyone else can type of things.

  31. I also live in Brasil
    And people here are very superficial as arround the world, although I believe Gustavo is right in every point he makes.
    There is no shuch thing as “just give a smile and you will look more sexy”.
    It is about your clothes, your body shape, your skin, your hair and the most important your attitude about yourself, that will certainly change all the things I mentioned, once you think in a sexxiest way about yourself.
    And another point. If somebody does not like you, maybe it neve will, and that is over, because the problem is YOU! And you have to leave with it, and be cool with it…

  32. Facet, I’m wondering what a few other people are wondering. Why do you have grinder if you have a bf?

  33. Stupid iPhone turns Davey into facet :(

  34. I have been a salesperson for most of my career. I really know now to turn it on, sound and look good for almost any situation.

    I admire those who are simply their authentic selves without the need to act like a movie star in front of a camera trying to win an Academy Award.

    Turning on the charm seems manipulative and can be exhausting and being held hostage by the need to prey on someone’s vulnerabilities.

    What is so wrong with being just who you are?

  35. Thanks Davey. I think you give me better advice than my therapist. Not bad for an impromptu blog piece. I have loved watching your videos and reading your blogs for about two years but this is the first time I’ve commented. Please keep ‘em coming. Can’t wait to see you on BlogTV.

  36. I have to say, that confidence is everything. Even guys who are not physically attractive in a traditional way (ie: what society says is standard for attractive), can seem way more attractive by just being confident in themselves. I know that personally, I found my sexy after I felt better about myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and other people found me sexy after that too. I’m only a recent fan Davey, but I find your positive messages about body image very empowering. I went through a transformation, having been morbidly obese, I lost 121 pounds, but I couldn’t have done it if I hadn’t started loving myself first. I wish I had seen your blog/videos 4 years ago, because I felt like the journey was so hard and that no one in the gay community cared about those of us who where and are extra lovable (I hate saying fat, it’s too negative, extra lovable implies large size but without all the negativity). But you do care and want us to love ourselves first. Go you Davey, and thank you for doing what you do. If more guys like you where out there, I don’t think there would be much room for hate. Anyway, i’m done with the praise, and wanted to say, that a great way to show your sexy is by simply believing it first. If you believe you are sexy, no matter what size, shape, color, etc you are, people will agree with you. Maybe not everyone, but who needs everyone to think your sexy if you think you’re sexy? Not me. I’m sexy to me, and that’s all that matters. If you think I’m sexy too, great, if not, I’m good with just being sexy to myself.

    P.S.

    I would again like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making my physical transformation seem valid. A lot of people don’t understand how difficult it is to be overweight, but your mantra of loving yourself and that everyone is beautiful, makes me feel even more beautiful. Thank you.

  37. holy crap no one had anything useful to say

  38. ok, so I know this is an old video, but I wanted to add my two cents… :) Yes, if someone were to message me and tell me I was beautiful, I would totally own it and thank that person graciously. However, I am also a realist. Being an overweight, and now aging gay man, I realize that certain aspects of my physical state are deal-breakers for almost the majority of other gay men, especially in the area I live in. That doesn’t mean I am not confident in myself! I am not devoid of talent and other great qualities, but the realist in me knows that my physical appearance is not one of my “selling” attributes. And I don’t know if I’m alone in this, but I don’t find confidence all that attractive. I would much rather be around people who are sensitive towards others feelings, humble, and loving. And whereas confidence in and of itself isn’t a turn-off for me, over-confidence is definitely a turn off to me. There are many beautiful people I have met that didn’t look so attractive to me after a few minutes of conversation. So… I guess to wrap it all up… I think that confidence in yourself is important to the extent that you are comfortable enough with yourself to do the things you want to do… but being proud of your appearance isn’t necessarily the same thing. so I guess it’s kind of a balance for me. ~shrugs~ oh-well, I don’t even know if that made sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me. :)

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