Blog and YouTube channel aside, my real job is in the field of online marketing and website design. One of my more recent projects has been to build a virtual grave site for a young mother that is dying of terminal leukemia. Her name is Theresa.
Unlike so many of us, she knows with certainty that her last breath is very near. And because of this unique position, I asked her what advice she could leave for the rest of us. With Theresa’s permission, I’m sharing her response with you in the hopes that we can all learn from her wisdom:
I am thinner, more hairless, I literally take up less space in the room – at the exact same time, the spiritual interior builds up and becomes more rich. One begins to truly appreciate one’s essence, the hidden places where one finds larger meaning in the most simple of things.
It gets less complicated.
It becomes more about the giving and receiving of love.
You begin to recognize only the good in things, the decency of people. Things that represent anything else just have no place – they seem silly, petty, pathetic.
There must be a way to reach this place without facing one’s imminent mortality…
Indeed, if there is a way to find a place of such pure spiritual bliss, I’m committed to finding it. And if and when I do find it, I’ll dedicate my life to helping others find it, too.
In the meantime, I continue to seek for that which I must already contain by following the footsteps of the many people that have traveled this path before me. People like Theresa.
Theresa has been fighting leukemia since November of 2004. She has fought hard. And as I read her words, I can’t help but think that she has won the fight that matters most.
April 20, 2010 at 1:55 pm
That’s what happens when you stare death right in the face…
April 20, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Truly inspiring post. I pray that I will life my life with this perspective while I am young and healthy and don’t have to wait until I am stricken with disease or on my death bed. Thanks so much for sharing.
April 20, 2010 at 2:01 pm
Inspiring indeed to hear this wisdom from a serene simplicity of viewpoint that is shedding complication. Wonderful attitude. Reminds of “Tuesdays With Morrie” which is a similar situation and a great read. He said one such dying person is like a wave coming ashore, but even after breaking on the beach we are still part of the Sea (of Life).
April 20, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Very powerful. There are ways to reach this place “without facing ones imminent mortality”. It’s our choice whether or not to find and accept such a path.
April 20, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Wow that is powerful. Go back to church there you will find the peace your soul is searching for.
April 20, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Truly inspiring words. My heart goes out to her. Reading this has made my life seem much less trivial. Thank you davey for sharing this with us
April 20, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Yes I agree grazie DW
April 20, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Our mortality is something that should/could be settled before we Must face it. Instead so often want our wants to be taken care of before our needs. We tend to be a selfish lot of people.
Thank you Davey and to the young courageous woman you quoted!
April 20, 2010 at 4:05 pm
I’m glad she has found the peace to accept the situation with grace and dignity. Too many people fear death in a way that makes their passing a time of terror and frustration. We have to accept this part in the circle of life and look forward to the next journey.
Blessed Be.
April 20, 2010 at 11:27 pm
I believe it is the lessening of the ego. We attach to much in our lives to whats “not important” and thus when things become more clear due to our imminent mortality we are more able to loose our ego and strive to be who we truly are and live purely. that being said, I would love to learn how to do it.
April 21, 2010 at 1:00 am
Totally agree Jim. You have to want to find it and you have to work to maintain the perspective.
April 21, 2010 at 1:08 am
Davide, I always enjoy reading your comments on DW’s blog, and find that we think alike on many issues.
Today however, I have a different prospective.
Our definitions of the word “church” (or similar words like: mosque, temple, cathedral, synagogue, etc.) are different, because my definition does not include a structure with a door, a roof and walls, nor a book of specified beliefs.
Davide, I admire, respect, and support your dedication and commitment to your chosen religious beliefs. But for me, going “back to church” would be a step back into the confinement of a restricted / narrower view of LIFE.
My “church” is LIFE itself, and the way that I choose to live my Life is my religion. Because of this, I am always fully present within my “church” and I don’t need to go to a specific place to practice or participate in my religion. Also, I alone am fully responsible and accountable for all my actions and behavior.
I agree with Theresa when she states that when “the [our] spiritual interior builds up and becomes rich, one begins to truly appreciate one’s essence, the hidden places where one finds larger meaning in the most simple things. It [Life] gets less complicated. It becomes more about the giving and receiving of love.”
It has been my experience that when we open our hearts and minds to possibilities beyond those that exist within our comfort zones and traditional beliefs, we truly begin to see how much alike and connected we all are to each other, regardless of our superficial differences. As Theresa suggests, we begin to recognize the inherent decency in all people and we begin to redefine and reprioritize our values.
Once this process begins to happen, we are able to start letting go of the things in our lives that keep us separated from each other, and keep us distracted from finding that place of pure spiritual bliss, peace, love, and oneness that already exists within each of us. Unconditional love is the key that unlocks the doors to enlightenment.
We each have the power and the ability to allow LIFE to awaken us, at any point during our lives, to the simple truths that Theresa has expressed. Picture how different the world would be if we each made the number one priority in our lives, the seeking, the finding, and then the incorporating these simple truths into our lives.
Thank you Theresa, for allowing Davey to share your insights with us.
Peace, Love, and Truth,
Todd in VA
April 21, 2010 at 2:57 am
Sorry,
This might not be much appreciated but that is the only way to live life, if you do not live life in that manner while alive throughout your whole life, you might as well have never lived!!!!! This is what real healthy people do, there is no other way, it should not be a choice to do anything other than live in that manner….. I feel genuinely sorry for anyone who does not live every moment of their day in the manner of that statement!!!!!
Kenneth R. Livingston
P.S. I seriously hope anyone who labels themselves anywhere within the christian realm, does not live in any other manner!!!!
April 21, 2010 at 2:59 am
Great book, I read it after my grandfather died, it really influenced a lot of my decisions after his passing.
Kenneth R. Livingston
April 21, 2010 at 3:03 am
Todd,
What you call church is what the bible also calls it, it is the blindness of unconditional following, NOT FAITH, that has made the christian churches of today what they are. To put things into perspectives to early christians, like I mean the time of the deciples, the word church, included all of human kind. Hense, the story of the shepherd with the flock of 100 sheep who lost one and then when he found the one, he love that one more than all of the other, because of the search for him!!!!
Kenneth R. Livingston
April 21, 2010 at 3:08 am
Todd,
Do not forget the value of judgement however, it is necessary and important not to separate or condemn but to allow all of those people around us to have the chance to acknowledge something purely good. By our spiritual acceptance of all that is universally and truthfully good, and our dismissal of all that is other!!!!! Dismissal never includes the innate human soul of any person that exists or has ever existed or will ever exist!!!!!! For all humans are created perfect it is our ability to navigate that makes us good or evil!!!!!
Kenneth R. Livingston
April 21, 2010 at 5:40 am
Wow i can not say a word it really makes you think
April 21, 2010 at 6:11 am
Namaste’ Davie Wavey. To achieve inner peace, connection with those we love is victory indeed.
April 21, 2010 at 6:48 am
How beautifully put! I lost my oldest sister, a lesbian, two years ago. It was so difficult. But she, too, inspired us. We’ve had a difficult life due to my dad’s alcoholism but we healed in his recovery. We have come to understand what it means to love and to support one another. Life is not easy but with the love and support of family and friends, it is a joy.
April 21, 2010 at 7:25 am
Davey, I highly recommend the book “Beyond Happiness” by Frank Kinslow.
April 21, 2010 at 7:30 am
Thank you and thank Theresa. I hope to keep it simple
April 21, 2010 at 8:09 am
Very deep. Best wishes to Theresa.
April 21, 2010 at 9:06 am
There is a way Davy. It’s called the Eight Fold Path. People have been testing it for 2600 years. It works for me anyway.
April 21, 2010 at 9:14 am
I believe it is not just “going to church” but sharing our deepest moments of spirituality with a community of faith sharing the same spiritual values. For Catholic Christians it is sharing in the Eucharist and the Scriptures at Mass.
April 21, 2010 at 9:14 am
Blessing and peace to Theresa – for the rest of us, the pursuit continues. Thanks DW for bringing this to light – and for the moment of clarity.
April 21, 2010 at 9:18 am
Spiritual bliss is inner peace with God and one another.
April 21, 2010 at 9:50 am
Yes, we are always dieing from the second we are born. We all struggle to find meaning and value in life. Some succeed easily. For others confusion reigns. For some it is a battle all the way.
But approaching death simplifies everything. For me “Vita mutatur, non tollitur.” “Life is changed, not taken away.”
April 21, 2010 at 12:23 pm
My goodness I see I opened another can of worms. I must learn to keep my mouth shut, naw never happen
April 21, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Sorry, but you’re growing more than you’re dying from the moment you’re born, that’s why you get bigger.
Stay healthy, and be kind – you can live with yourself longer that way.
April 21, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Yes, Davide you do open a lot of cans of worms. That’s your right and I believe it benefits all of us.
I also know that you can’t keep your mouth shut (neither can I. haha. But at least lots of people respond to yours. hehe
April 21, 2010 at 1:07 pm
If we were in the days of the old west I would have been shot. Crazy Americans
April 22, 2010 at 2:17 am
Passing thru the five steps of death, it rests to you the resilience, the acceptance…
Therefore, I beleieve it´s really hard to anyone change their thoughts and routines based on just observation of somebodyelse´s death!
You have to pass some kind of death yourself, anything that makes you so powerless that makes you think about your life and decide to change (kill) something that you consider wrong.
Until it happens, it is hard to consider that anything can change inside you!
My very best wises to Theresa, and that the website that Davey is creating for her becomes her “life website”, not her headstone…
wladmorais
April 25, 2010 at 6:26 pm
Hi Davey Wavy & co.,
I often watch you — late nights — and think you are so darling and cute and sweet.
A couple of years ago I was dying and it was really nice! I lived –obviously, but I wouldn’t have minded dying if it weren’t for my children and parents, they were so afraid! The only thing I regretted was not being able to see the stars, it had been so many years since I had seen a real starry sky as I live in a rather big city: Paris. Now I’m out in the country and have many stars as well as sunsets behind a cherry tree in blossom and about 60 cats I take care of every day.
I agree with Theresa about how dying has changed her life –sounds a bit strange to put it that way– but I had already been on the road to this state for about ten years, due in great part to terrible losses.
What I would like to add to what Theresa says is that if you live and you continue to live this way, close to the very simple, in love with the simple things and drawing your strength from them, no one “gets it”, people don’t understand.
For instance, friends tell me my life is a tragedy, they think I am “lost” when in fact I am very “found”. I am pitied because I am handicapped and homeless (I own the cats I care for no more than I own the stars but I am getting room and board in exchange for taking care of them, a temporary deal).
People may say such a position as mine and Theresa’s is “inspiring”, “powerful”, “noble”,”wise” whatever … and yet they fly into a fury and rage if they don’t get to go on the vacation they “need”. They continue to want everything and the contrary of everything all at the same time and make themselves very unhappy.
April 26, 2010 at 8:15 pm
Theresa you are in my thoughts tonight…
January 9, 2011 at 8:19 pm
Theresa is an inspiration and she has grasped the full/true meaning of life. Her’s is a light that cannot be vanquished; it will forever shine for those who are open to the message of love, peace and truth that are spoken from her heart. Thank you for making her introduction her on your own blog.
Namaste,
Michael