I have no idea who Sidney Madwed is, but he or she is a wise bitch. I quote:
“At any moment each person is always doing the VERY BEST he can, based on his total conscious and non conscious prevailing awareness and which is within his capabilities, energy, time, and developed talents and abilities.” – Sidney Madwed
It’s important to remember that everyone in your life is doing the best they can with what they know. We might not always agree with or support each decision that our friends or family make, but we can recognize that they are always doing their best. Their very best.
I can already hear the grumbles. “But what about the kid that kills himself? Is he doing his best?” Yes. If he knew of a better way to deal with the pain, then he surely would have taken it.
There’s no blame to go around and no fingers to point.
February 23, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Many people would say this is an excuse for trying to get away with things. I agree with the statement you make. There may be masses of people with similar thinking, but each one handles everything differently and it’s for the very reason you point out from the quote you brought up. And I really like the point, although it may seem controversial, about committing suicide. There are resources, but who’s to say he knows about them, isn’t sheltered from them without the knowledge of them, whatever. Right on with the thinking. Nice way of looking at things too I’d say.
February 23, 2009 at 6:55 pm
This a good blog. I know that I try to do my best at current things that I love doing in my life. I love the study of films most likely art house films, and photography, more like artistic fields of things. I just know I have to try really hard if I would be able to do to succesed in life there would be some boiling points but everyone has to prepare for that. Even for those people that no one believen you have to keep on moving forward no matter what. Thank for todays blog Davey, Cheers!!!
February 23, 2009 at 7:39 pm
This is a very good reminder for me today as I am deeling with some of lifes crazy decisions. Thanks
February 23, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I would have to disagree. I know that personally it would be good for me to always try and do my best but every once in a while, corners are cut, priorities are fumbled and certain things just don’t turn out properly. I would agree more fully if the statement were everyone intends to try their best but some people just fall short.
February 23, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Sorry I typed mine before I read yours…but well said.
February 23, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Why is it that you cut those corners and/or fumble those priorities? What’s underneat that? Is there a reason? I can point to myriad times where I haven’t given 100% of what I had to offer and there’s always something underneath it. There are roadblocks between me and flawlessness. But I am definitely doing my best even when I’m not working at 100%. The roadblocks and breakdowns are responses to perceived threats – especially, in my case, the threat of the unknown. I definitely let fear of failure and fear of success get in my way and yet I’m still doing my best. The point is that one can do his or her best even without living up to their complete potential. When we consider people as whole beings, there are a lot of factors that dictate what we can do at any given time and at any given time we are doing what is our personal best. And with each approaching moment we have opportunities to improve, expand, stretch, learn and blossom. In the end, everything turns out properly – as it should – because that’s the way it is. Perhaps living in the realm of what should and should not be, it’s difficult to accept that what’s so is actually perfect regardless of whether we agree, enjoy, like it, etc.
February 23, 2009 at 7:43 pm
I don’t agree. There are many people that are not doing their very best. You can see it in the work place every day, people do their jobs half-assed…or just enough to get by. People all around us, are not living up to their full potential, if they were this world would be a better place.
February 23, 2009 at 10:17 pm
My response above is pretty applicable to your post too. When people are doing things half-assed, there are other forces – usually emotional – at work holding them back. Regardless, for where they’re at in that moment, they are doing their very best.
February 24, 2009 at 6:38 pm
The important notion is, “In The Moment”. That’s what makes all the difference. It is not could’a, should’a, would’a which gets us no where. It is here and now with all the million and one reasons why we do or don’t do whatever. Blame does no good. It just adds to the weight of negativity.
Be well,
btw: I have been saying the exact same thing as Sidney for ages. Does that make me a wise bitch too?
February 23, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Hmmm…
February 23, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Thanks for reminding me of something valuable Davey. I forget, sometimes, that perspective is key and the context is decisive in everything. I was in a course on communications a few weeks back and we were discussing the world’s method of communication which is centered around either fixing something or surviving something. We’re all doing it at some level. I so do not need to fix the people and situations in my life and I certainly do not need to fix myself. I am doing my best. And I am peeling back the layers. I am more me, today, than I ever have been. And I will continue to be the most authentic and integral ‘me’ I can be.
February 24, 2009 at 4:04 am
Put another way people can’t help but to be themselves. You don’t know how to be anybody else. This does not excuse actions and following consequences but explains them.
February 24, 2009 at 4:07 am
I have to admit that the suicide words might sound a bit controversial but it is unfortunatly the truth. What do you do when you are 30 and your mother you love ask you the authorisation to finnish with her sufferring? I was not prepared and I had to say that because I couldn’t help her I will have just to respect her choice, and she would always stay the most wonderful mother of the world for me. Two weeks later I was throwing earth and flowers on her body in a box. It is so much easier to speak about this on a virtual level but I do not feel guilty, just responsible. I did the best I could at the moment and it was not enough. Today, I am 43 and I may have other choices. I regret that she couldn’t wait but I was not aloud to let her suffer when I couldn’t help her immediatly.
Now, I cry when I listen to Yael Naim song “Too long”, and every minute of my life I try to do things who would have impressed my mother. This is what I used to do and she would admire me and say: “Je suis fière de toi, mon fils!”
February 24, 2009 at 7:55 am
In my opinion, the quote is too idealistic and general. I can only partially agree with it.
It is true that everyone does their best every time, everywhere. But to think it on the extreme side of individualism would only make us complacent to what we could achieve more in life. Sometimes, we gotta meet society in the middle. That way, we not only can be the best for ourselves, but also for everyone else around us. It is a motivation to always do better than what we think is “best”.
As for the kid who committed suicide, well, he should have thought of his actions as the “last” resort. If suicide was the “best” option, I think he was pretty insensitive. Think of the people in his life who would forever condemn themselves. All of a sudden, his option doesn’t look like the “best” one.
February 24, 2009 at 11:00 am
Exactly! Now that makes it hard when we realize just how mediocre the performance level has been in the history of humanity. But you know what? That’s who we are, a fragile species doing what we can to survive on this planet. So let’s just give each other a break, and hope that we get one in return.
May all beings be well happy and peaceful.
February 24, 2009 at 11:05 am
very insigtfull this morning. I have to agree with you on most of it. i believe that at any given time whatever someone is doing is the best they can do at that time. Is it the very best they can do? Probably not all the time. but whatever they are doing is a decision that they made. perhaps they wanted to cut a few corners or perhaps they just don’t care to give it a hundred percent. i thank you Davey for always having such a positive attitude, and for making me want to do the very best that i can in whatever it is that i choose to do. Kudos to you my man.
February 24, 2009 at 11:47 am
this is what I would expect to hear from a positive motivating attitude.
deep down inside, we all fall short of our best. We are our own worst judge. We know down deep inside of ourselves all our little secrets which reality should not qualify us to judge ours selves. externally we are combatant completive which makes us disappointed in the efforts of others, and not easy to accept they did their best. now that i have expressed the negative. I find this blog attract the positive aspects of life. if someone negative was to follow this blog i believe it would change them great insight expression and a warmth that is refreshing.
February 24, 2009 at 11:58 am
Yes, the suicide bombers who flew into the Twin Towers at the World Trade Center were doing their Very Best!
February 24, 2009 at 12:07 pm
A “wise bitch?” Shame!
February 24, 2009 at 1:58 pm
What is wrong with calling someone a bitch? Stop being a whiny PC liberal.
February 24, 2009 at 7:28 pm
A lot….and I think Sidney Madweb (the author) just might concur.
February 24, 2009 at 8:59 pm
I’m sure I’ve seen and heard Davey use ‘bitches’ as a term of endearment a number of times. I don’t believe there was a derogatory intent. As much as it is incumbent upon people to consider how their message will be received, it is equally incumbent upon those receiving it to consider how it was intended. And if one doesn’t like or appreciate it, then too bad. It’s just a word.
February 24, 2009 at 12:19 pm
This is something we can all strive to understand. After reading several of the previous posts, I would like the nay-sayers to take this into consideration:
There is only one person who know what their “Very Best” is – and that’s you. And truly, most of the time we are so damaged and distracted we are a very bad judge of our current state. I will take this a step farther and state that only God knows what our Very Best is at any moment.
As a child of God, created in His likeness, then it’s only fair to believe that we are doing our Very Best all the time. That’s how we are created.
For anyone that decides I, or anyone else, is doing less than the Very Best I must say that you are judging. It’s your opinion of what my, or someone else’s, Very Best is or could be.
February 24, 2009 at 3:55 pm
this is not true bc there are times when i know i should study and i know how to study, but i dont. therefore, i am not being the best student i know i could be
February 25, 2009 at 11:45 am
yes, but you’re doing the best at something else in your life
February 24, 2009 at 6:54 pm
This would be true if the world was full of shiny happy people crap! But in this day and age people are’nt doing their best. They are slacking! or looking out for their own ass!
February 24, 2009 at 9:00 pm
It’s not that they are performing flawlessly. They are doing their personal best in the moment.
February 24, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Such a long and decisive truth to this post. Doing the best with what we have is the natural human endeavor for progress.
Nobody’s Perfect…
Ciao!
February 25, 2009 at 1:52 am
And I wanted to post and the server went down when I hit submit. It must be a ‘sign.”
February 25, 2009 at 11:44 am
thank you for the reminder
i’m living this true every day
davey, your blog makes me feel like i’m on top of the world every day
what a wonderful message you deliver
February 26, 2009 at 2:52 am
This totally reminds of a saying I heard years ago and have been repeating ever since; “People don’t do irrational things!” The way we act every day and the things we do and say are logical to us at that moment. If that means cutting corners, not studying, or doing a job half-assed; it seemed like the thing to do. If you cut me off in traffic, I’ll most likely swear, flip you off and track you down! At that instant, it seemed like the thing to do. When I stop and reflect though, I realize I too have cut others off thinking only of my need to get somewhere quick, hoping they’ll forgive me. All actions logical to the performer at the time. Sometimes we just need to take a breath before we act and consider the bigger scheme.