Dear Body,
I know that I haven’t always treated you with love, respect and kindness.
I’m sure you remember the many years during my childhood when I gave you too much food. I ate unconsciously, filling you with nutritionally deficient, processed subsistence.
And I’m sure you remember those difficult middle school years, wherein I deprived you of nourishment altogether. Because I’m male, no one suspected that I had an eating disorder. It was very easy to abuse you, and so I did for many years.
I have put you through the full spectrum of extremes – both overeating and starvation. And through it all, you never gave up on me. As I disrespected you day after day, you continued to work for me each and every hour of each and every day. Today, I ask for your forgiveness.
Of course, the abuse was not just physical. I have used many hurtful words to describe you: ugly, fat, monstrous, disgusting… the list goes on and on. I’m sorry; I take responsibility for my actions, words, energy and thoughts. I am sorry for not honoring you as the beautiful creation that you are, and always have been.
I know that the abuse I have committed against you is common. I know that almost every body could tell a similar story. But the commonality of such abuse does not excuse it.
I can’t promise to always honor you and to always treat you with respect. But as I build a stronger, more evolved and aware relationship with you each day, I hope to move closer to a place of true kindness and love. I believe that this apology can be a first step in a more fulfilling relationship.
Thank you for always being there. And please know that I am deeply and truly sorry for all of the pain that I have directed your way.
Much love,
Davey
February 17, 2010 at 12:49 pm
“Free your mind and the rest will follow …”
~ En Vogue
“You’re only pretty as you feel, only pretty as you feel inside …”
~ Jefferson Airplane
February 17, 2010 at 1:03 pm
I hate my body! Every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror I feel bad that I am still the way I was before I went to sleep. I use many negative thoughts to describe myself but I also try, even if it is just one, to say something I like about myself and forcus on that. Every so often I add to the list and I am slowly building an image of myself that I believe to be both truthful and positive.
February 20, 2010 at 4:01 am
Hey Colm,
Every morning when you stand in front of the mirror naked say to yourself I love you you are beautiful. You are perfect. Even if you do not believe it at first it will take it`s affect. Eventually you will see in you the words you are saying.
Kenneth Livingston
February 17, 2010 at 1:05 pm
i hope my my body heals quickly, this sucks
February 17, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Awe, this was adorable!
February 17, 2010 at 2:49 pm
I’ve spent YEARS hating my hair and every possible style I tried to cut it into. I thought the ponytail approach looked good for a bit, and it did, but yesterday I just got sick of it all and shaved it completely!!! It looks AMAZING!!!
February 17, 2010 at 2:50 pm
But… OMG what do you do with your body… and then you let your body get f****d…. what a disrespectful way to treat your beautiful you… (joke of course… I mean getting yourself f****d… hihi)
February 18, 2010 at 12:59 am
Ya, the anal spinchster is saying, “Hey, I’m EXIT ONLY”!
February 19, 2010 at 1:49 pm
………..
…………..
February 17, 2010 at 4:17 pm
Wow, i have been struggling with a terrible eating disorder for 3 years now. This is a real wakeup call. Not the first time you have inspired an epiphany Davey <3 ur a miracle. I need to learn to love my body and forgive myself for past and present abuses towards it.
February 17, 2010 at 4:26 pm
thank you so much davey ;(
February 17, 2010 at 6:38 pm
davey wavey sorry to wright this on here but i am new to twwitter and i dont really get it so i just want to say :
you are like a super star to me and i have watched like every video you have made and i just really want to thank you for making my life so much better and i love you peice out < as you would say
and i would love to meet you one day 
February 17, 2010 at 10:32 pm
Aw, that’s sweet. I look at people and see how they treat their bodies and can see how they feel about themselves. When I want to be good to my body, I take a walk or take a nap or eat something nourishing. That’s all it really wants, some movement, some rest, and the proper fuel to keep it running right. It’s your mind that thinks it wants all the other stuff, drugs, alcohol, constant exercise, lots of food, starvation, whatever. Cats have it down. Be a cat.
February 17, 2010 at 10:57 pm
So beautifully written. It is amazing how forgiving our bodies have been. I’m 56 and even though I’m within 15 pounds of my ideal weight, I still struggle with eating the right amounts. I think this beautiful prayer will help me make peace with my body. Thanks.
February 17, 2010 at 11:44 pm
This entry really speaks to me. Having once been 400 lbs I’ve really tested the limits of what my body can handle. On the other side of the spectrum, I had a complication following my weightloss surgery that had me lose far too much weight. I was literally starving to death. I’m now at a very healthy and ideal weight for my height. I look great in my clothes and am often told how skinny I am. Whenever anyone says it all I can bare to think is “You haven’t seen me without my clothes.”
With all that weight gone, my body is reminiscent of a balloon inflated beyond its elastic limit and then deflated. Lots of flabby skin that didn’t shrink with the weightloss. I am so not in love with how my body looks.
As I read this post I thought hard about the abuse my body has suffered at my mind’s whims. It makes me want to weep. I’ve spent so much time thinking “I am not my body. My body is not me.” that I forgot that my body is, nonetheless of paramount importance to me. It is the home where my consciousness resides and the vehicle in which my true self travels around the earth.
I’m grateful for having read this post as I realize that I not only want to take better care of this ‘vehicle’ but that I want to have a good relationship with my body. I want to love the vehicle and keep it in as good of a condition as I can. Now that I’m fairly healthy it’s time to be fit, too. I realize I made an error in thinking that my body is only beautiful if it looks like other beautiful bodies – if other people considered it beautiful. I’m declaring that it’s time for me to have a love affair with my body
Thanks Davey!!
February 18, 2010 at 10:42 am
OMG. I never even thought of where does the skin go after weight loss? I guess I’m lucky.I went from 245 to 175 in a short time, and there is little sagging skin when I sit down (I just now noticed) but when I stand up and look in the mirror. I don’t see it.
February 18, 2010 at 11:34 am
In my clothes, you’d never know. Thank God for that. LOL But my perception of how my body looks has me resisting intimacy with people and I really need to give that up. I’m a far harsher critic of myself than most others. It would be helpful if I just trusted that those people I choose to get that close to love me and see beyond it.
February 20, 2010 at 3:54 am
WOW AWESOME!!!! I can feel myself glowing with love and beauty just from reading your post!
I love YOU just for that post.
Kenneth Livingston
February 20, 2010 at 3:56 am
I wrote that before reading any of the reply`s Mosaic!
Kenneth Livingston
February 17, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Thanks for sharing your story! I’ve been gong through a eating disorder for about a year now and I just wanted to say….you got me thinking
February 17, 2010 at 11:53 pm
Hey thanks for sharing your story! I’ve been gong through a eating disorder for about a year now and I just wanted to say….you got me thinking
February 18, 2010 at 12:53 am
I cut out “white food” a week and 1/2 ago (no dairy, no sugar, no flour)and feel great! I didn’t realize how much sugar is in just about every manufactured food. If it comes in a box it probably has sugar. If it tastes good it probably has butter too. 2 things that I don’t need as a source of nutrition. It takes work eating whole food right from the earth, but grocery stores seem to have all my favorite fruits and vegetables year round in recent times so it works! I like this post, especially the part about calling your body names. I never thought about it, but now I’ll never do it again! Thanks for sharing your letter!
February 18, 2010 at 5:35 am
wow. that was a great post
February 18, 2010 at 5:54 am
Seeing you and your body, I can say that you’ve not treated it so badly!!!
February 18, 2010 at 7:25 am
This is when I come in and tell you to SHUT THE f**k UP!
You have a better body than most people on the f*****g planet you jerk!
I’m pretty f*****g sure your poor little body with six pack and perfect pecs didn’t take THAT much abuse thank you very much!
Everytime you talk of personal negative body image it feels like someone running nails over a chalkboard!
February 18, 2010 at 10:32 am
He said that he wasn’t always that way. He also said in a few posts and videos how hard he exercises. And anyways just because someone has a “good body” doesn’t mean they don’t suffer from negative body image.
February 18, 2010 at 10:35 am
You sounds kinda angry MD? Maybe theres something you want to share about yourself?
February 18, 2010 at 11:40 am
MD it’s possible to be both beautiful and have a negative body image. Look at all the cases of phenomenally gorgeous people being anorexic and bulimic. When someone overcomes something like that it’s incumbent upon him or her to share the story in hopes of giving perspective to those who would benefit from seeing the light over the horizon.
February 20, 2010 at 3:28 am
Hey MD,
I have to tell you MD when I was a young teenage boy I couldn’t get over the fact how fat I was I had a 28 inch waist and weighed 97 pounds at a height of 5′ 11” at the age of 17. To be honest I just never thought I was skinny enough because I compared the amount of love I had with how skinny or fat I was. I now at 29 weigh 160 pounds with a 30 inch waist and my weight has been this way for the last 10 years. I can tell you now though that the difference is that I have known love for the last 11 years. At this stage of my life I’m gorgeous I’m more attractive than I have ever been. I get hit on by men and women equally and constantly. But, I am this way because I found out what love was I learned about it and I learned to mutually share it. I relate to Davey, I may have never had obesity or overweight issues. But I do know that when we learn to love ourselves and those around us our bodies respond. The reality of the post you posted tells me that maybe you just need to learn something about loving yourself and loving those people who are around you.
This has been my experience, I hope it can be the same for you even if maybe in a different context.
Kenneth Livingston
February 20, 2010 at 3:39 am
Hey MD,
Try imagining how sick you can feel physically when you weigh 97 pounds at the height of 5’11“. You`re constantly sick all the time but you can`t feel it cuz you can`t feel your body cuz you don`t want to you feel no one loves you so what does it matter. Every time you try to care you get beat to a pulp. One day someone shows you that they care and all of a sudden you can eat an entire meal without throwing up even though you haven`t eaten in over 2 weeks. You`re binging and nothing comes up. You can relax someone actually loves you. It`s so foreign you`re not even sure that`s what it is but you know it feels good and really feels good without any attachment to some sort of abuse afterwords. You`re sitting there waiting to be hit or abused or hurt in some way that`s what`s normal to you……..it never comes………love…………oh that`s what love is!
I was 19 when it happened.
So don`t you get all pissed off when Davey forgives himself for the abuses he`s treated his body in. I can tell you now I understand what he`s talking about. I don`t know whether or not it was as severe or more severe as what I experienced!!!!! BUT DON`T YOU EVER BERATE SOMEONE FOR CARING ABOUT THEMSELVES ENOUGH TO FORGIVE THEMSELVES FOR THE WAY THEY TREATED THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kenneth Livingston
February 20, 2010 at 3:46 am
Hey MD,
At this point I have the perfect average physique I`m not a buff boy but I`m built and I`m that way because I take the time to care for myself enough to know what is healthy. This is what you call caring for yourself. Sometimes you make sacrifices in what you eat and you make it in a healthier way you go to the gym cuz you know after that drinking binge this last weekend you need it. Drink water.
Basically CARE ABOUT YOURSELF ENOUGH TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
I was lucky someone loved me, what if you don`t get that chance, I PRAY WITH ALL MY HEART THAT YOU DO!!!!!!! But I can`t guarantee that, all I can think is ask GOD for the strength!
Kenneth Livingston
February 18, 2010 at 7:41 am
Davey Wavey..Glad you are getting “man-boobs” like the rest of us…even at your early age..Hate to see what they look like at age 30…40…50…oh my!.. Love “your” David
February 18, 2010 at 9:27 am
I love my body it has served me well. I could ride my bike 15/20 miles and be ready for a night on the town. I went to the gym 3 or 4 nights a week and loved the burn. Today I have early onset Parkinson’s. What I would give to have a body that responds again. Just to run across the street would be pure joy. I guess you never know how blessed you are until you lose something. I still love my body just as it is because I know someone else is in worse shape and I’m glad for what I’ve got. I never in a million years would have thought this would happen to me so be happy for what you’ve got. You never know when it may be taken away. Peace.
February 18, 2010 at 11:11 am
Philip.I too have Parkinson’s symptoms. I saw a Neurologist after having balance problems, he observed my walk and said that I have a mild case but that is subject to change. My dad showed me a picture in my early 20′s and I laughed. I had an Afro like hair style that was perfectly natural and actually quite in style at the time, not a bad body then, I would hit that. I have a not so pretty picture of myself in swim trunks on a boat in San Pedro Harbor from the early 1990′s. Sadly I don’t have a shot of it’s owner at the till, the late Dwight Long who was the first to circumnavigate the globe by himself in a sailboat. He also has the distinction of having the first Academy Award for a documentary–The US. Enterprise. Davey, maybe you need to revisit fat photos. IF you don’t want to share them with us, I”ll understand.
February 18, 2010 at 10:48 pm
omg sorry my body D:
seriously, thanks for reminding and bring it more to awareness.
February 19, 2010 at 4:30 am
Yes i am currently destroying my body. I would like to say sorry too.. But i know this apology isn’t sincere because it can only be sincere when i can also promise to never do it again and i cannot.. I would say that i have such good will power to stay away from drugs and such but when it comes to this touchy subject of my body, my will power is as weak as an ant trying to carry a tv across America.. Im working on it but i dont think im getting pretty far.. Im hoping to get over this and have the amazing body i’ve always wanted..
February 19, 2010 at 8:16 am
Davey,
I found this profoundly moving.
Having struggled with similar issues for much of my life, I NEVER thought about the abuse of food from my body’s perspective as a separate entity from me.
This entry was a gift to me. Thanks for being so open, honest, earnest, and creative in your blogs in a way that opens the minds of others.
Greg
February 20, 2010 at 3:14 am
Now people lets start all thinking this exact same prayer every time we even catch a glimps of someone else and feel this prayer for everyone!
Kenneth Livingston
April 6, 2010 at 5:15 pm
My God, Davey — you just WROTE MY LIFE STORY!!!
April 7, 2010 at 6:35 pm
I REALLY enjoy this blog, and see a huge mirror here for myself. One thing I find funny/ironic is my beliefs about myself and my subsequent behaviors, based on those beliefs. For instance, I’ve always had weight issues in my mind, but every person I’ve ever been with physically has always complimented me and told me they loved most about me the things I thought were worst about me. It’s still difficult aligning with reality in that sense, but I’m glad I’m seeing it and aware of it!
In fact, I see a lot of that in the lives of those around me too…How often do you think this is the real case, Davey?
April 11, 2010 at 9:49 pm
So beautiful…and true….sorry body…