When I was younger, I often deprived myself from otherwise fulfilling and exciting experiences with the excuse, “I’m not old enough.” Lately, though, I’ve found myself claiming just the opposite, “I’m not young enough.”
Other excuses have included:
- I’m not funny enough.
- I’m not masculine enough.
- I’m not tall enough.
- I’m not adventurous enough.
- I’m not rich enough.
Unless you’re a true guru incarnate, you probably have your share of “I’m not ________ enough” excuses, too. They are, after all, convenient scape goats when we’re faced with an obstacle, challenge or opportunity that has the potential to shake our foundations and bring us outside of comfort zones.
Dr. Wayne Dyer would advise us differently. In fact, I can hear him inside my head right now saying something along the lines of:
Can you be 100% sure that you’re not young enough? 100%?! Even if you’re 99% sure, there is still a 1% chance that you ARE young enough. So, if it’s possible that you are either young enough or not young enough, then why not at least believe the thought that may bring you the reality that you want?
If you believe the thought that you are not young enough, then you definitely won’t get the reality that you want. But if you believe the thought that you are young enough – or smart enough, or beautiful enough, or brave enough – then you just might get the reality that you so desire.
You are young enough to play build a sandcastle, or ask out the 18 year old barista at Starbucks. You are old enough to take charge of your life. You are funny enough to make the world laugh. You are masculine enough for you. You are tall enough to wear capris. You are adventurous enough to explore the world – or your backyard – with wonder and enthusiasm. You are rich enough for what you need (and clever enough for what you want).
My point is this: You are enough.
What is your “not ___ enough” excuse? Share it in the comments below and release it forever!
September 20, 2010 at 12:06 am
Not interesting enough. Oddly, this idea prevents me from doing some things, but it practically forces me to do others. I take risks to be interesting, but sometimes interesting is a prerequisite to doing something. “Not handsome enough” is a big one.
September 20, 2010 at 12:53 am
You should always, without fail, ask out the cute barista — or at least flirt a little bit. Especially if he happens to be me.
September 20, 2010 at 1:45 am
Gotta say it: DW, you generate the most intelligent, honest, authentic, insightful and fun comments on the net. Go Blog Buddies!
September 20, 2010 at 2:04 am
I’m not outgoing enough… I’ve made this picture my wallpaper to remind me that I am enough:-)
September 20, 2010 at 7:50 am
Im “not only enough” Im more. Im happy to be me!
September 20, 2010 at 8:59 am
Davy. This post couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. My “not enough” is I’m not enough for him. When your special someone bats for both teams how can you compete? Well I can, because I am enough!
September 20, 2010 at 9:57 am
Back in 1971 I wanted to return to Germany, the country that our family left fifteen years previous, to visit family and to see some places of interest around western Europe. Coupled with that was wanting to see my paternal grandfather who was dying. With will and determination I finally went for seven weeks during the summer of 1972. Unfortunately, my grandfather passed on a few months before I got there (had to finish the school year first) but this didn’t stop me from seeing family and interesting places. This journey took me to Carcassonne in southern France, to Paris, Strasbourg, Berlin, Oslo (Viking ship museum), Stockholm and other places. If I had made excuses, I’d have never seen these places nor experienced the pleasure of hiking in the Swiss Alps and seeing the world from high up. If you want it, do it!
September 20, 2010 at 10:26 am
It’s usually:
I’m not smart enough, athletic enough, masculine enough, confident enough, attractive enough, likable enough, assertive enough, good enough, positive enough, and so many others. I just feel inadequate in a lot of ways.
September 20, 2010 at 11:10 am
Oh but you are smart enough!
- If you weren’t, you wouldn;t think of things which make you inadequate (which you aren’t, by the way)
You are confident enough!
- Then why did you respond? You obviously feel secure enough to respond.
You are assertive enough!
- see previous argument
You are good enough!
- You’re alive and you’re loved by all those close to you. And I love you just as much. Believe me: you are worthy.
September 20, 2010 at 11:20 am
“Not important enough”
September 20, 2010 at 12:11 pm
I feel young even at 50. I look young even at 50. I feel beautiful. I look beautiful. No matter what some may say.
I am a woman. I feel like a women. I look like a women.
If we don’t believe in ourselves and accept ourselves, no one else will.
September 20, 2010 at 1:12 pm
i dont have a im not __ enough… my philosophy is that it doesnt matter if you not ___ enough, if you don’t do it, your a waste of life
September 20, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I’m not confident enough, smart enough, funny enough, attractive enough, good enough, talented enough, etc.. Feeling insufficient is something I experience all the time.
September 20, 2010 at 4:39 pm
I feel that it’s human to coneptualize about our limitations. I do it all the time. The bottom line of my conversation in my head is: “I’m not enough…..”
A therapist friend always had a favorite line, “feelings are not facts”. So, now I practice that line, let the feelings come and the conversations in my head just say whatever the hell they say and note that the feelings that they bring up are not facts. They are just feelings.
Sometimes it works.
September 20, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Lol. Yer. I asked a 18 yr old Batista out that worked at Zarraffas. Turned out to be a nightmare! Total ass hole!
But I do love this post and fully agree with everything that is written in it. And I still don’t regret the 18 mths I had with the ex. Everything happens for a reason. Even if it’s just one of life’s lessons.
September 20, 2010 at 7:54 pm
Let’s get real, “everything happens for a reason”? Who is doing the reasoning; or, are we going to get into a religous discussion?
My feeling is that as homosexuals we feel stigmatized on many levels and try to justify our identity by being butch or “in your face” faggots.
We also stuggle with an identity and default to the fact that we are f****d up mentally.
Even if God,in person, deemed us wonderful, perfect,lovable and adorable some of us are so identified as being f****d up that we would argue being (as an excuse to get off your ass and get a life).
September 21, 2010 at 2:35 am
I read over the lyric. It’s a well crafted piece and quite evocative on several levels: kinisthetic, auditory and visual. One stanza spoke to me over the others:
Now where are we? Where have we gone?
We tumble effortlessly like Jack & Jill
Under the influence of this man, Our Friend.
Where are we? Where have we gone?
I believe we will never really know.
Not until we wake up.
Many of us live our lives as if tumbling effortlessly. We allow the “Ringleader” to take us wherever he will despite how dismal it might be.
And, as you mention, he can be our friend. He can keep us out of big trouble. He’s the one who tells us “Perhaps climbing a mountain without a rope isn’t such a good idea on your first try.”
He’s also the one who tells us to take the cushy office job that pays just well enough to trap us because we couldn’t possibly achieve any real success as a ___(insert your dream career here)___. He would have us play it safe all the time. And, for some people, I suppose that’s fine.
I sometimes allow myself to believe it’s fine for me. And then, as your lyric reflects, I wake up and find out who I am and where I’ve gone. I realize my folly, dust myself off and I adjust my mental time line so that my future is ahead of me, my present is directly within me and my past is somewhere behind me but out of sight; no use trying to analyze the things I can’t change.
The “Ringleader” can only lead us so long as we let him; so long as we allow him to stay under our skin. Some people wake up and others don’t. I think most of us have a recurring love/hate relationship with him and we fall under his trance and awaken continually. Fortunately there’s nothing wrong with that. In the end we’re all going to die and we’ll be thrown, unceremoniously, into a hole in the ground and be buried. At that point it won’t mean much to anyone how we live our lives. So when we realize we’ve woken up from the trance, yet again, we have a choice to be angry at ourselves, to be resigned about how we’re living and to give in or to say “How fascinating?!?!”, chalk it up to experience and set our sights back on the lofty goals we so richly deserve. That’s a choice we must make for ourselves and for how it will make us feel.
Thank you for sharing that little piece of yourself with me. I see it as a true privilege (as both a life coach and a singer) to be asked to read and comment on something so personal. I’m voracious when it comes to reading what people have written on this subject and my heart sings when given the chance to comment – or better yet discuss and debate – on topics like this one.
Namaste.
September 21, 2010 at 2:43 am
Well put, Mitch! I love that analogy
September 21, 2010 at 2:56 am
Consider the outcome isn’t the goal. If I choose the attitude “I know I can’t win so I’m not going to bother.” where would I ever be in life? Maybe I will never win the 100m at the Olympics. But if I hold it true that I am good enough, strong enough, fast enough I will definitely push myself to the limits of my ability. I might make it to regionals, nationals, maybe even to the worlds or the Olympics. How will I know unless I try. And even if I don’t win I’ve achieved the best I could possibly have hoped for because I kept my eye on the target rather than writing myself off.
In the end, the outcome isn’t the goal. What does an Olympic medal really mean? It’s only worth a few hundred bucks. And is it really that critical to beat everyone? My goal isn’t to be better than all others. It’s to stretch myself and grow so that I am performing the best I possibly can. Even though I may not come first I still win for having a glorious experience of life.
September 21, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Thanks, a lot. I never looked at it that way. (:
September 23, 2010 at 9:43 am
First of all I Love this post
And secondly i never had an excuse saying “am not enough” in this or that 
Mostly i was content with myself in anyway 
Thanks Davey your still rocking man 
September 23, 2010 at 10:21 am
For me it h as always been I’m not thin enough. Every insecurity in my life boils down to my body size. An 8 year every day struggle.
September 25, 2010 at 9:11 am
I’m not “in shape” enough to be sexy/walk around shirtless. Even though people always tell me I have the best body theyve seen
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