Yesterday afternoon, my mom and sister arrived in Toronto. They drove up from Rhode Island in a trip that took them two days. Planning ahead (and since there is no guest parking in building), I had them park at Scotty Dynamo‘s house on the outskirts of the city’s downtown.
I arrived a bit early and discovered that no one was home. As such, I sat on the front steps and found myself quite excited about my family’s impending arrival. But 10 minutes soon became 20. 20 minutes became 30. After 40 minutes, with my anticipation building, I found myself exceedingly anxious.
Instead of fully enjoying the moment at hand, I found myself sacrificing the present for un-promised moments yet to come. I was under the false impression that future moments would be better than the now. Of course, the now is all we’ve got. The future is just as unreal as the past and never any better (or worse).
So often, we live our lives in the future. I’m always excited about a future trip or visit, a project coming down the pike or next month’s calendar. But uncommon are the moments when I’m fully enjoying that which is before me.
As I sat on the front steps with my mind busily anticipating the future, I was almost entirely oblivious to the wonderland before me. Bees pollinated blossoming Thunbergia vines. Squirrels hung from the bellies of forking Oak limbs. Ants built entire kingdoms in the cracks on the walkway beneath my feet. An entire majestic universe was unfolding before me, and like a blind man, I could see nothing.
How lucky was I to have 40 minutes of stillness with nature? And yet, I was restless.
If you ask someone what they’re excited about, they’ll usually point to a future event. But rare is the sage that says, “Now. I’m excited about now.”
July 26, 2009 at 6:33 pm
after reading eckhart tolle’s power of now and numerous other publications advocating present awareness…i can definitely say that i appreciate the present much more than i used to.
however, i still find myself looking towards the future too much every once in a while. reminders like these are nice =]
July 26, 2009 at 7:20 pm
so… what happened to your family?
(nice to see you’re buddy-buddy with Scotty Dynamo, BTW…)
…
True, we have learned to believe that our survival depends on our ability to predict the future. It’s pretty hard to disconnect from the idea of past/future, as our lives are structured around expectations, on the abstract thoughts of unreal things that are “yet to happen” (or on our conception of things that “happened”).
Our hopes (things that have not happened but we wish them to)drive us and shape our lives. Yet the past and present are ideas, and exist only in our minds. The only real truth exists in the present, in the “now”.
Thinking about the future makes us avoid the present, to an extent. Our subjective world can be present, and it can shape what we perceive as our “objective” world. True power lies in the “now”, it is what we can actually shape, what we can actually interact with, what we can actually do…
So…should we give up our dreams to wake up and appreciate our current reality? or should we live with an eye on the “now” and the other on the “later”?
July 26, 2009 at 7:27 pm
If you want to capture the present, get it correct. Squirrels cling, not hang. The image is quite nice, however.
Secondly, it seems quite realistic and normal to me, after 40 minutes or so, to wonder if your family members might have been slaughtered on the highway. The present isn’t just about pollinating bees.
July 26, 2009 at 8:21 pm
… there’s always a cellphone.
Peace.
July 26, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Dave, I submit to you an academic argument against your brother incest fantasy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westermarck_effect#Westermarck_effect
I guess that means you just need to pay them. A lot.
July 26, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Thanks for the link.
Quite interesting (scary how a behavior we hold so dear can have such a biological and factual explanation).
I suppose if I were to find my long lost twin, there’s a chance of a of there being a genetic sexual attraction…
July 26, 2009 at 8:37 pm
I spend time with nature on a daily basis, it’s become routine with me. I almost always devote atleast 1 hour to sitting outside watching the sun rise and fall, or even merely watching an insect crawl around in the grass. It makes me feel…empowered? It’s hard to describe, but I never feel like a whole unless I do this atleast 4 times a week.
Also…damn, there was something that I was going to say before, but I got wrapped up in that, haha I’ll comment again if I remember XD
July 26, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Most of the time, situations like these pass us by and not until after we reflect on them do we realize how magical they really are. Nature is something that is always around us, but so few of us take the five minutes o our day to soak up its beauty and true wondorous essence. That’s what I think.
July 26, 2009 at 10:09 pm
I kind of took this as a challenge to look at the past week or so to when I was truly happy and sort of aware of the greatness in front of me. I think concerts for me are that moment, when you are viewing and hearing the sounds and works of art. Nothing else matters to me at all except for each note hit at each moment. For other people maybe it is different, because they anticipate a future song but recently I was in Toronto for Warped tour, and an amazing Canadian artist LIGHTS was playing, I was on stage with her and that moment was serenity, I was fully appreciative of her talent and my mind was solely focused on the greatness of her music. Other than that moment though, I never really have taken the time to just appreciate the now, present, whatever you want to call it. I need to work on that.
July 26, 2009 at 11:25 pm
all to often though, our present is in such chaos or possibly depressing that we look to those future events to pull us through our present. waiting for future events gives us hope and a sense of opportunity that today’s troubles can not.
we look past into our yesterday and we see the obstacles we have overcome and we gaze into the future to find meaning or escape or order in our otherwise uncontrollable world. this is human nature.
i don’t believe that it is a negative thing to wait for a better tomorrow while living through a hectic today. remember…not only is the glass half empty, but it’s also half full. while you look at this situation as wasting your life away, others look at it as finding a way to live through this life.
ah…the yearning of tomorrow.
~james.
July 27, 2009 at 2:01 am
Enjoying the present is really important, and is a difficult thing to do, of course not the only thing to worry about.
If we look into our lives it’s almost always based on the future, after all we have to plan if we want to get something done, and dreaming about dreaming and planing is the first step to fulfilling our dreams, the danger is when we get so absorbed in it that we forget to actually live or get into practice the actions that are the second step for fulfilling dreams.
A minute ago I was really deep into my dreams for the future, something that I do very often, and unfortunately almost never do something to set thing in motion. The next thing I’m reading this post. It is really wonderful the way life works! =D
July 27, 2009 at 2:52 am
Every time I read your blog or watch one of your talky blogs, I’m so thankful for that day when I randomly stumbled upon one of your videos on Youtube (due to a misspelling, I’m embarassed to add). You add so much perspective to my life every day, and overall have really made me a happier and (I hope!) better person.
Cheers,
Jackie
July 27, 2009 at 8:32 am
…what was the spelling mistake?
July 27, 2009 at 3:56 am
Hi, abraços do Brasil! fui…
July 27, 2009 at 6:13 am
Incredibly beautiful davey. To appreciate and value and accept and even fall in love with the present and the opportunities of learning, changing, and discovering it offers is something I’ve always tried to bring myself to stay on top of. Thanks davey wavey, I love you, and I love that I’m able to share my feelings with you and your other blog readers right now
July 27, 2009 at 6:20 am
Dave, to say “I am excited” would indicate a present state of being at a PROSPECTIVE event occuring. And people do say this all the time. Perhaps the reason why we so rarely hear a sage say that is because we have trouble defining what a sage is. There’s an expectant image of a sage as old and wise but wisdom comes in a variety of forms and not always from people but from the meaning we derive from situations.
July 27, 2009 at 8:39 am
why would being excited only imply anticipation for a prospective event?
(For example… when I hear a song I really like, that I haven’t heard in a long time, I get pretty excited…and I get excited WHILE the song is playing…)
July 27, 2009 at 6:49 am
waouuuwww, i don’T know what else to say… waouwww
:O
July 27, 2009 at 11:13 am
me either!
July 27, 2009 at 7:49 am
Being retired I’ve learned to relax and not get bored. In lines, waiting for a trains, doctors (I see lots of them,) and in stores. I just don’t get bored waiting. I enjoy discovering/watching the small things because the big bad things in my life are mostly over. That’s the way I live my life now, not letting the waiting thing bother me.
July 27, 2009 at 8:00 am
Not that many years ago I spent almost all of my waking moments looking forward to the future and not living in the moment at all, I completely missed those moments. I was in a job I hated and felt trapped by everything and everyone around me.
Now I make a conscious effort to enjoy every moment I can, and at the very least to experience them completely. I still miss a few, I still get caught up in the what if or the when of the future. But those moments I can savior are brilliant, sometimes fun, sometimes stressful, sometimes hard but always brilliant.
I don’t know if I have the capacity to live in the moment every moment and I think this might negate any planning or foresight I might have but for the moments I can I do.
It doesn’t matter if it is a drink with friends, an exam, while watching the world go past from the cockpit of an aircraft or even right now with the peaceful white noise coming off my heater, the sound of my keyboard and night peacefully resting the weary world.
July 27, 2009 at 8:52 am
while youre waiting and contemplating anxiously anticipating your Mother and Sisters arrival-maybe you waited so long?did you ever think they got lost?
July 27, 2009 at 9:24 am
Now is all there is…man, existing in the moment is sweet!
Ciao!
July 27, 2009 at 9:32 am
I am still excited about being just married! Lance and I are now officially married. The afterglow is still with us in the Now. How wonderful to feel the joy of sharing our love with so many others, from the city clerks all smiles and congratulations to the loving hugsand kisses of our friends and family.
What a wonderful feeling sharing love is!
Be well,
July 27, 2009 at 9:43 am
Have a nice visit with the Fam!
July 27, 2009 at 11:16 am
I hope that if I am ever 40 minutes late for something, that the person who is expecting me is thinking about me and my safety instead of butterflies and squirrels or what projects they might work on next month.
July 27, 2009 at 12:02 pm
I like the idea of people being present to themselves in their own lives; I just saw a youtube video about people breaking with the past to enjoy their own present (of course this is history, but a good example of how people can be alive with themselves in their own ‘now’, shared as it is with others.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0&feature=fvsr
Cheers!
July 27, 2009 at 2:36 pm
An entire majestic universe was unfolding before you, and like a blind man, you could see nothing. Not even the cell phone at your side? You should have called them to see what the delay was or at least have met them where they were gonna park. Just like the bees pollinate to take care of their community and Ants build kingdoms to take care of their own, you should have done the same Davey. They could have been in trouble while you pondered over nature and their responsibilities to take care of their own and life.
One cannot declare a philosophy before he commits himself to it. You cannot commit yourself to that till you believe in it, but only through action can you start the whole process.
July 27, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I think the post made him sound a bit on the self absorbed side. Also, there he sat worrying about bees and butterflies instead of his own family. WTF? If only we all could live in La La Land.
July 27, 2009 at 7:09 pm
well put.
July 27, 2009 at 7:06 pm
You would have been a complete asshole if you had fascinated yourself with pretty bees when you had good cause for concern for your families safety. Stuff the bees.
July 27, 2009 at 10:10 pm
What you said is so true. We do often spend too much thought and energy on short term future, but should spend some of that energy on the hear and now.
July 27, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Correct spelling is HERE.
July 27, 2009 at 10:51 pm
Ah, this insight is wonderfully Zen! It reminds me that we must travel in this life attentive to the present. Mindfulness is the discipline and gift that we must cultivate to appreciate the present moment/beautiful moment!
July 28, 2009 at 4:29 am
I beg to differ, nothing of what he said was Zen like. Zen de-emphasizes reliance on religious texts and verbal discourse on metaphysical questions. Zen holds that these things lead the practitioner to seek external answers, rather than searching within themselves for the direct intuitive apperception of Buddha-nature. This search within goes under various terms such as “introspection,” “a backward step,” “turning-about,” or “turning the eye inward.” What Davy is guilty of is getting lost in the moment of looking for an external answer of other living being which at the time mattered more than the state of his family and for this he dishonored his family . It goes along the line of why the Zen master asked two monks to go collect some water from the falling rain. One chose a bucket and another chose an open weave basket. The zen master admonished the monk who chose the bucket and phrased the one that had chosen the open weave basket. When you understand why the master phrased the latter, then you will understand Zen insight.
July 27, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Oh dear…I think I could easily fall inlove with Davey Wavey!!!
July 28, 2009 at 7:14 am
No you could fall in love with the presented image….
You do not really know Davey.
It says more about the idealised person you would wish for.
Such people are rarely matched in reality.
But good luck finding something close to your dreams.
July 29, 2009 at 2:48 am
You’re right. And thanks for the well-wishes; same to you!
Namaste,
Brian
July 28, 2009 at 4:31 am
Sorry on the typo, meant to say praise instead of phrase. My bad.
July 29, 2009 at 2:49 am
Apology accepted.
July 28, 2009 at 9:35 am
I can’t believe how inspiring you are. I typically don’t read every post you write – not because I don’t care or whatever – just because I usually at work or out for a day or two and can’t catch them. This is one that must have slipped through, and when I was trying to get to the more recent one [for today] I clicked the link for this by mistake… I’m so glad that I did.
Your describing what I feel all the time. No matter how much I try and psych myself into “the moment” it doesn’t work. I then, after, am living in the past moments… reliving how I wish I could go back. Last night I actually had somewhat of a breakdown. I got so angry that I was so nervous and preoccupied that I told myself “STOP IT”
What I find helps is verbally out loud saying what you see, or what is happening. So, Right now? You’re typing a note and you are going to make someone a bit more happy. The wind is blowing the curtains on the window. You are about to go have a nice shower and drive to work. You just had a wonderful sleep. I’m so calm right now lol
I can feel your love Davey. It’s only that I need to focus on the moment… If I don’t – I can’t feel anything but worry.
Sending the love back <3 <3 <3
July 28, 2009 at 9:36 am
*Note: I don’t work for a day or two. I work a long day and then go out or only have six hours to sleep til I go back lol
July 28, 2009 at 6:48 pm
People who take drugs, like LSD, talk of
how the experience is momentary..
They say that there then follows a long period of the
brain sorting out and understanding the experience.
I don’t intend to find out.
But perhaps that is how life is.
If so is it so bad.
Sometimes thing will be vibrant and immediate.
But to be like that all the time would be like running
an engine on high octane fuel at full revs.
In no time it would overheat and burn out.
That is what happened to some LSD people.
Insanity and suicide.
I am happy for my few “balanced” euphoric moments.
July 31, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Yeah, we do get lost in our comings & goings of daily activities, we don’t take time for world around us.
In a way it reminds me of incident that happened to me a couple of years ago.
I was getting over anxious and running around getting ready for work, that I didn’t take time to stop and kiss and say good-bye to my partner.
Later that night I was severely injured on the job and almost debilitated from shock.
I know it’s not the same, but we all need to slow down and enjoy the moment, you never know, it could be your last.