I have a new fetish – and it’s not straight boys in sweatpants; it’s even better. It’s crow’s feet.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines crow’s feet as a wrinkle extending from the outer corner of the eye. I define crow’s feet as a physical representation of all the times that a person has smiled or laughed throughout their lifetime – and I think it’s sexy as hell.
You don’t get crow’s feet from pouting, being angry or frowning. You get crow’s feet from all the wonderful, magical and enjoyable moments in life. In that way, I think these wrinkles are badges of honor. As far as I’m concerned, the more crow’s feet, the better.
It seems strange to me that so many people are set on reducing these wrinkles through creams, injections and surgery. If anything, you think people would be thinking of ways to deepen their lines and creases as to make them appear friendlier and happier.
Because I so deeply value laughter, happiness and smiles in another person, crow’s feet are officially my new fetish.
December 27, 2011 at 10:39 am
Youd love mine. They are the result of too much laughing!
December 27, 2011 at 10:40 am
And next up: Justin Bieber explains to you that age is just a number, and Bill Gates talks about how money can’t buy happiness. Don’t you all feel better now?
Davey, I know you think you are being very positive and affirming here, and I respect your intent. But I’d like you to explore taking your self awareness to a new level. Instead of dismissing or acting “baffled” by the very real issues that some people have, take a moment in your article to really connect with the souls of the people who feel this way. There are things you are insecure about, there are things you wish you could change about yourself. Talk about that, and how you overcame your OWN struggles.
Just saying to someone, “Well I don’t think you should worry about that!” can be seen as…. smug and insincere. A 20-something telling 40-somethings what they “shouldn’t” be insecure about isn’t cute or affirming; it’s a little patronizing.
December 27, 2011 at 1:13 pm
I had the same reaction after reading the article.
December 27, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Very well put Greg. Wait till he’s in his 40′s and see what he thinks..lol I use to be beautiful once too, now age is having its way with me.
I am not a fan of wrinkles.
I do love the way davey looks at life but I hate my crows feet and use moisturizer every day and night to lessen them
December 27, 2011 at 4:52 pm
@Greg Stevens:
Oh,Greg,
Lighten-up!!
Actually.I agree with you:Some more “struggled” topics would be welcome.
However,if the photo accompanying your comment is accurate,you’re still cute [EXTREMELY!],and don’t have anything to worry about.I can say this with authority,as one of the formerly cute [DEVASTATINGLY!] who waited too late to either accept myself,or to come out.
Best,
bill(Guillermo3)
December 28, 2011 at 2:20 am
You are right on target Greg.. Lets see how DW feels about it when he looks in the mirror at 50 something DW.. I’m betting his fetish will have matured a bit.. into some reality..
December 29, 2011 at 11:28 pm
Of course you shouldn’t be worried about it. Even if he is younger then you, doesn’t mean he is being a fool. He’s an optimist, he’s trying to show people that little things like crow’s feet shouldn’t affect us. We should just embrace the little imperfections that we have and live. Some people like it, most people are ashamed of it, because of how this world is made. In media and everywhere we look all homosexuals must be a certain way to fit a criteria that doesn’t exist in real life. It’s created by some high maintenance a-holes who makes us all think that we are nothing without looking a certain way.
Too bad we are all so insecure that we try to destroy any kind of positivity one may want to radiate. And we also may think since one is older that we are wiser and have some kind of greater knowledge of life then the person who may be way younger then you are and trying to spread some positivity. Instead of being old and bitter, try to have some sunshine in your life. Crow’s feet are sexy.
December 27, 2011 at 10:53 am
December 27, 2011 at 11:46 am
Anderson Cooper
Hugh Jackman
Denzel Washington
George Clooney
Laurence Fishbourne
Brad Pitt
ALL have crows feet/laugh lines & are sexy as hell!Agreed- wrinkles are IN my friend
December 30, 2011 at 1:29 am
ptth you (except Liz) are guys. The half of the population who don’t become old but instead become distinguished. It’s nice that wrinkles are where your smiles have been, just like freckles are where the sun has kissed me but that doesn’t make either desirable.
December 27, 2011 at 11:49 am
I think they are sexy as hell too. Unfortunately, lines and wrinkles are due to damage of the skin. If left untreated, they become too deep and permanent. There is a bota-peptide cream which uses the relaxing effects of botox peptides and hydrates your skin. It is also a heckuva lot cheaper than maintaining injections. This way, you can also control your lines and wrinkles so they don’t get out of hand. Once they are too deep, there is no reversing it. I make sure that I use just enough to maintain the 37 years of laughing just so they show when I am laughing, and still getting the moisture that my aging skin needs. No this is not sponsored, nor am I an aesthetician (I just have a very good one).
December 27, 2011 at 4:57 pm
I have to agree with Scott. Crows feet are also caused by smoking and excessive exposure to harmful rays of the sun without proper sun screen.
I will be 59 one week from today.
I do not have very many crows feet. 
I am told many times that I look much younger than my age. 
I see people half my age with more crows feet and they are smokers. 
I appreciate where Davey Wavey is trying to go with this but I think he is a bit off the mark. Davey, I appreciate you buddy and keep up the goo work.
December 27, 2011 at 4:59 pm
Sorry about that but the last line should be:
“I appreciate where Davey Wavey is trying to go with this but I think he is a bit off the mark. Davey, I appreciate you buddy and keep up the good work.”
December 27, 2011 at 11:51 am
I knotweed this sounds so cheesy , but that sounded beautiful and poetic. I can’t wait to make me some crows feet.
December 27, 2011 at 12:26 pm
Another fascinating twist by an exceptionally fertile young mind! I’m confident you will develp a rich set of crows feet, Davey!
December 27, 2011 at 12:30 pm
I know you are never going to drop trou for us but hows about a close up of your crow’s feet…LOL
December 27, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Davey,
I’ve said the same thing for years. You get those lines from smiling. A real man doesn’t see kindness and connection as weak but as why we are all here. Loved reading this today!
December 27, 2011 at 3:48 pm
I remember you got criticized for closeups showing your crows feet Davey, now all of your pictures are touched up. If you like them on others, that’s one thing- but maybe others like them on you, too.
December 28, 2011 at 10:21 am
Hey Marcus, I actually don’t touch up my pictures.
December 27, 2011 at 3:56 pm
Okay, I turn 56 in about 2 days and I have maybe a crow’s foot….but not feet. Does that mean I just happen to have good genes, besides taking good care of my face……or have I just had a miserable life?! Believe me when I say that I have done or found myself in “situations” not so pleasant, but which along with friend we later laughed our asses off!
On another ubject, I love ya Davey, and I really am continually amazed at what an “old soul” you have for such a young insightful man. But sometimes, because of your fine looking 20 something invinable self, you fail to consider that life can change on a dime by circumstances beyond our control. So, the positive course you were on stops. Maybe you should occassionally address dealing with life’s unexpected pitfalls that may occur. However, 99% of the time you are spot on.
Thanks for the great service you provide.
December 27, 2011 at 5:10 pm
@David,
I will be 59 in 7 days. 
Happy birthday.
December 27, 2011 at 4:56 pm
I don’t think you quite understand the concept of a fetish…
December 27, 2011 at 8:05 pm
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TastesLikeDiabetes
It’s too happy it burns.
Sometimes you are just too happy go lucky,
And every time you discuss foreskin I want to go die in a hole somewhere.
December 27, 2011 at 10:39 pm
Laughter to me is very close to sex. You just say something and you see the joy and happiness in another person’s face. No touching required. What a wonderful gift! I hear people laughing in another room and envious wish I was in on the joke. It is nice when I have been asked to talk at a funerals to make people laugh. That’s what I want at mine. Imagine if the whole world could laugh (and not in a sinister maniacal way) but REALLY laugh. What a different world it would be! (From
Mary Poppins: “I Love to Laugh!”)
December 28, 2011 at 3:30 am
@Anonymous:
Wow,Anonymous!
If you think Greg is “right on target”,you might lighten-up a bit too_Yes,it would be nice if D.W. blogged about some serious issues [other than gay suicides,that is],occasionally,and yes sometimes the pep-rally attitude wears thin:BUT,within a life style & in a world where negatives are too present,
the positive outlook on BTI is a welcome relief!
BTW:As one who knows,I’ll tell you that 50 isn’t the end of the world.
December 28, 2011 at 3:35 am
@David:,@Ernie:
Happy Birthday,David & Ernie !![almost typed Bert & Ernie] !!
57?! %9?!!:You’re just kids!!!!!
December 29, 2011 at 5:46 pm
@bill(Guillermo3),
Thanks for the compliment. Bert is my alter ego!
59 is the new 39!
December 28, 2011 at 3:33 pm
this crows feet fetish DW has-i just wonder what will happen as time goes by-say in ten to twenty yrs from now?
December 29, 2011 at 8:34 pm
@Ernie:
Thanks,Ernie !
If 59 is the new 39,what’s 64?
December 29, 2011 at 9:06 pm
@bill(Guillermo3),
It’s still 39! nothing after 39 counts!!!!!
December 29, 2011 at 9:24 pm
@Ernie:
Thanks,Ernie,
But you’re wrong:I can count to at least 150,and I’m definitely over 39!!
December 29, 2011 at 11:11 pm
Crow’s feet are only sexy when the guy is smiling and his eyes are smiling with him.
December 29, 2011 at 11:40 pm
@Marcin:
Thanks,Marcin !!:Hear Hear!!
December 30, 2011 at 2:09 pm
My family doesn’t get them. We get wrinkles in other places like laugh lines.
December 31, 2011 at 1:07 am
In spanish the animal is not a crow but a c**k. So it’s like “c**k feet”.
December 31, 2011 at 5:56 am
Davey,
There were certain things I looked forward to growing up and I can’t say developing crows feet wasn’t one of them.
Forgive my cynicism, but it is easy when you’re young to say you look forward to certain things. But as time progresses and life moves on, some of those experiences that we had been counting on don’t always happen or aren’t what we had expected them to be.
As a man in my mid to late 30′s, I look in the mirror and no longer see the youthful face I once cherished and instead see a stranger looking back at me. I wonder where the youthful person went and just who is looking back at me now.
I know I’ll never be that youthful exuberant person I once was. I know there is no way to go back and relive my youth. I can’t go back in time and change anything as much as I would very much like to. That’s because I have grown as a person emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. The lessons that I have learned couldn’t possibly be applied by the youthful person of myself that I miss seeing so much because he doesn’t have the maturity I know possess. But does that mean that I should just sit back and let time creep across my face rendering me unrecognisable even to myself.
We more mature and experienced men didn’t necessarily have the beauty regimen many younger men, like yourself Davey, wouldn’t dare live without. Ten, fifteen years ago half the facial moisturisers and procedures available now weren’t available, and if they didn’t weren’t marketed directly at men. There was a time when we mere males were left to grow old gracefully, or disgracefully as the case may be, but times have certainly changed.
See I nothing wrong with wanting to take care of my appearance. Isn’t that what you do when you go to the gym and work out? I don’t necessarily believe any of the facial creams can restore my previous youthful appearance. I’m not entirely sure they work at all. However ,we have a cosmetics industry built on hope (or false hope as the case may be) telling each of us, men and women alike, that we don’t have to wither away. We don’t have to accept the physical signs of growing older. I do feel that there is such a thing as going too far.
There are many examples of celebrities (and everyday folk) who have overdone it with expensive plastic surgery and other cosmetic treatments. In some cases, to please a much younger lover or to adhere to pressure from the movie and music industries that insist we hold on to youth and look young forever.
Davey, while I applaud you for telling us we should be proud of every little line on our faces, I defy younger men reading this to fore go the beauty regimen and embrace that natural aging process. Could you go without the no hair removal or the spray tans? Give up the cosmetics and not be tempted by the promise a few nips and tucks have to offer as you do grow older? Could you, or would any other younger guy reading this let all that go? Could you go against what fashion now dictates? It’s the way men lived once, gay or otherwise. It was the only way.
I know the true message of this blog post is for us all to accept and value ourselves wholly and completely. It is a beautiful sentiment, Davey. A sentiment I hope the many younger blog buddies take to heart.
As for us older blog buddies: Many of us are probably very pleased to read that you are such a fan of a more natural and weathered look. Very pleased indeed. I also feel that there are those of us who wonder whether you’ll feel the same way ten years from now.
My own philosophy? I like to think that as time passes, I’m not aging but ripening to perfection.
December 31, 2011 at 4:40 pm
@Jason(+J.):
Right Jason + !!!! Thanks!!
December 31, 2011 at 10:39 pm
Hey Jason,
You say you’ve grown as a person and I have no doubt of that. But when I read your post, what I really felt was that you’re hanging on to something in the past that’s holding you back from enjoying how you are right now. I’m 36 and just about your age. Today I noticed deep laugh lines and the beginnings of crows feet. And I feel fortunate for the weathering I’ve endured. I lost 230 lbs a while back and spent time getting to know my new physique and really connect to it. I never experienced myself as beautiful in my youth – I was always fat. So I spent years just learning to appreciate what I have now, despite some of the more distinguishing features
I recommend that if you feel attached to how you appeared before and if that somehow makes you mourn how you appear today, take some time and connect with your current body. Learn to love it and appreciate it. It’s every bit as beautiful as the body you had in your 20s. If you don’t learn to think so, how can you expect anyone else to?
January 2, 2012 at 5:39 am
To Mosaic Dave,
Clearly you and I have had something of an opposite existance. Much of my adulthood has passed me by due to illness, like a great big void during which nothing much happened and suddenly here I am.
Congratulations on the positive changes you have made and experienced in your life (and body).
Thanks you encouraging and supportive words. Perhaps today the turn around should begin.
January 2, 2012 at 8:48 pm
Jason,
It sounds like we’ve had very different experiences of our lives. I started my transformation in a very dark place and made some of my changes as a “screw you” to my dad for saying he didn’t believe I could do it. I’ve been making positive changes for about 9 years now but the one I’ve found most useful was learning how to think about my life and the situations I encounter from many possible perspectives, realizing that none of them are necessarily “right” and that choosing some will empower me rather than disempower me.
I wish you all the best on your journey and invite you to contact me if you’d like to chat about it. dave@davebanwell.com
Cheers!
January 3, 2012 at 6:46 am
To Mosaic Dave,
Thanks again for your positive works. I hope to contact you soon.
January 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm
ok I dont know if you read this. But if you really have a crow feet fetish… this guy might be just right. (even though he is married.)
http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/7127684298/1/tumblr_lnnxbzx19u1qj2d9j
Names Jensen Ackles… if he ever does a gay role… it will be my ticket to paradise… anyway anjoy his crowfeet.
January 3, 2012 at 6:46 am
Dear God, yes! And please!
January 7, 2012 at 5:51 am
I HAVE CROWS FEET =D SO WHENS THE WEDDING =P
January 16, 2012 at 8:16 pm
I have always thought that crows feet are the most georgous thing on both men and women. Its so unbelieveably sexy!