There’s a lot of fear in the world and I’d venture to suggest that very little of it brings any benefit to mankind.
In nature, fear plays an important survival role. When animals are in danger of being eaten, for example, they flee – and it’s their fear that may save their lives. But most human fear doesn’t work that way, and instead of saving a life it often destroys it. At the very least, fear can hold us back and prevent us from living a happier and more fulfilling life.
I have a tremendous fear of swimming in natural bodies of water. Silly, I know. I have no idea where my fear came from, but I’m absolutely convinced that if I venture into a river, stream or ocean, I will be eaten or attacked by a turtle, water snake or something similar. In fact, my dad pushed me into a pond several years ago and I nearly drowned him in the fear-stricken panic that ensued.
My New Hampshire treehouse is nestled alongside a beautiful and expansive lake. And needless to say, my boyfriend wanted to go swimming in said turtle and snake infested natural body of water; my skin crawled at the thought. Nonetheless, I decided to venture along and brought my dog Chipotle (who as never seen a lake) for moral support.
When we arrived at the lake, Chipotle walked right in. I was shocked. For a dog that is afraid of everything and everyone, it was entirely uncharacteristic. It was as if she was saying, “Come on Davey, nothing to fear.” Jumping around and discovering the lake, she was being playful and I didn’t want to miss out on this moment with her.
I thought to myself: Which risk is more real? The risk of being attacked in the lake, or the risk of missing out on what could be a wonderful and rewarding experience? I sided with the latter and splashed my way into the water. Up to my waist, anyway.
And it was amazing. It was so much fun. So beautiful. And if I had let my fear control me, I would have missed out on so much. Fear has a time and a place, but that time is not now and that place is not here.
What do you fear? Let me know in the comments below.
August 12, 2010 at 5:05 am
I believe your fear is justified I grew up in so Cal and as a kid went swimming in a lake and saw a water snake. You ain’t seen anybody run so quick and scream like me. In Vegas when I lived there my friends said there were carp that would bite your toes off so that was out. Now I am in Connecticut and work in an ER and some kid came in with a parasite that embedded in his skin and died. You are justified once again I believe.
August 12, 2010 at 5:32 am
Davey,
Isn’t it amazing the truths we learn from animals? I mean the boyfriend may have got you to the lake but it took Chipotle to get you in it.
The more I read about her the more I see a very special friend you have and how your love, kindness, and generosity toward her have come back many fold. Treasure her!
Good for you for breaking a fear!
August 12, 2010 at 7:30 am
I understand the pain you are feeling right now. In some ways, my own situation may have been similar to yours; in others, it was (I imagine) QUITE different.
Regardless, I can empathize with you about the fear and the uncertainty you may be feeling. After having read your comment this evening I was driven to respond in a little more detail on my own blog (not to worry, the entry was not directed “at” you but only in response). I hope that you’ll pop over and read it there and just as Jonathan did say to you a while ago, “MPTY” (as in ‘more power to you’). Don’t give up on life, Frank. If in fact you were alluding to suicide, it is such a permanent solution to what is most often only a temporary setback (and NO person is worth hinging all of your happiness and sense of self-worth on; not even the most loving, caring, affectionate and devoted man alive). You must provide that for yourself, from within — and accept the gift of what others have to offer as “icing on the cake.”
You’ll find the strength to carry on though (I’m convinced of this, as I think many others here believe in you, as well). Just give yourself time to adjust to this news, hold your head up high and put one foot in front of the other as you continue to live this precious gift called life.
And again, if you are interested in what I had to say in my blog (in response to your comment), just click on my name above or on the following link:
http://quipsnquills.com/wordpress/?p=8682
Namaste,
Michael
August 12, 2010 at 7:45 am
David..Good Morning!…The fear of swimming in the ocean this summer has been soo many reports of sharks sighted, but “when it is your time..it is your time”..so enjoy ALL life has to offer and let those fears be “on the back burner”..I am sure your boifriend will help alleviate those fear just being by your side…Enjoy life!..Love “your” David
August 12, 2010 at 8:14 am
There was a book written in the 80′s by a Susan Jeffers that is only worth the message from its title. It’s called, “Feel the Fear and do it Anyway”.
August 12, 2010 at 8:51 am
I’ve been following you for some time now, and i’m always reading the different posts you have. I find it Refreshing. This late post, had me thinking and to be honest with myself, my biggest fear is to be alone. Recently broke up with my bf and…lately, things have been hard, but seeing someone as happy and life grabbing like you is comforting. Makes me understand there are some things out there that can make you happy. But going back to my fear, i don’t want to end up in 10-15 years in an apartment by myself i guess i’m not the only one in this. But there.
Hope you having heaps of fun, regards from downunder!
August 12, 2010 at 9:46 am
Although I am an excellent swimmer, and have no fear of swimming in natural bodies of water (I actually prefer them to pools), I have an unnatural fear of driving through low-water crossings. It’s only when driving, too. I can get out and water across, but put me behind the wheel of my Jeep and I’ll have a panic attack if I drive through moving water.
August 12, 2010 at 10:10 am
If that cute Canadian boyfriend of yours went ahead of you, buck-naked, into the lake, you would have motivation to go romping through the water to catch up with him!
August 12, 2010 at 10:35 am
“Perfect love cast out fear” is from the Bible. (First John 4:18) Its one of the few things that I can relate too from this book and as GLBT people its something we need to live by. No fear just caution at certain times. Have fun overcoming more of our fears Davey.
August 12, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Frank, take a moment and reflect on the fact that the sun still rises and the trees still are wonderful to see with their birds and rustling leaves all around you. The world is full of life. Your life is a part of all the rest. You are needed to complete the picture. If a loved person leaves you, or dies, or remains but behaves distant, it is not your life that is threatened, it is your image of who you are. The sadness is a moment in a long life. I have gone through half a dozen important relationships with lovers, now married for the last 9 years to a wonderful man. I was 57 when we met. You never know what is waiting ahead in life. All you can do is follow your path with confidence that it is leading you where you need to go. Just don’t forget to listen to the bird songs and smile at the flowers along the way. Live lovingly in the moment and the moments will be filled with love.
Be well,
August 12, 2010 at 12:52 pm
Your respect towards all living things is a wonderful example. Don’t worry about putting the critters outside in the winter. They have been on the planet without houses far longer than we have. Much better than mindlessly squashing them.
Be well,
August 12, 2010 at 1:01 pm
FEAR = False Entities Appearing Real.
That was a gift from an HIV Poz dude who I buddied years ago when guys were still dieing left and right. He unfortunately died before the triple therapies came along. He always said he wasn’t afraid of dieing, it was the process he’d have to go through in order to die that worried him. So fear not.
Be well,
August 12, 2010 at 4:44 pm
I’ll see if I can find a copy.
August 12, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Hi, I am from Belgium and I have a similar fear of heights.
Its not the heights that give me te creeps, but just the lack of protection that is giving me the creeps. Even on a rollercoaster I will not be safe, but all that is not stopping me anyway, the first moments I look really scared, but then I have the time off my life.
There was at least one thing I didn’t do.
I don’t know the correct word, but you have to climb a gigantic pole and you have to jump to a trapeze in the distance, that was my biggest fear at the moment.
So my answer to all is, try to master your fear, but don’t let it control you.
August 12, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Hi !
I like doing things quickly and efficiently, so here are the main ideas:
First, congratulation for having overcome your fear. You must feel really proud about it (a normal reaction, I think)and, I’m sure it will help you in the future. I also find the way you overcame it (trusting Chipotle and following her) very cute and intersting. In my opinion, this is a perfect way of fighting one’s fear. Of course, it can’t be applied everytime…
Ok, let’s stop here the massacre of Shakespeare’s language (I’m taking lessons for it)
See you in my next comments ^^
August 12, 2010 at 7:31 pm
Way to go Davey! Enjoy your new life and new appreciation for the water…Who knows where it will lead you!
August 13, 2010 at 4:33 am
i fear live fish… when i was little, my grandma had these clay fish hung above her pool, and i would be terrified of them!!! once, my grandma took me on her back and swam towards the fish, and i screamed and clawed at her back so hard that she let me go right away
but i recently overcame my fear of SMALL live fish, because we’re on a holiday right next to a lake and i decided, how can tiny inch-long fish hurt me, and little by little, i got used to the small ones! im still petrified of the bigger fish.
August 13, 2010 at 4:38 am
bunjy jumping is so fun!!!
August 13, 2010 at 5:32 am
Hey Davey,
My biggest fear is that I will put every last bit of effort I can into living my life in a manner to create truth, goodness, confidence and wellbeing for all the lives around me… then when my physical body is removed it will all be for naught that they will forget the truth trying to see it and someone else maybe centuries down the line will need to be there to take care of them and teach it again! The thought just brings tears to my eyes… I’m also deathly afraid of potatoe shredders lol
Kenneth R. Livingston
August 13, 2010 at 5:39 am
Hey Davey,
I’m also very afraid that too many people will go throughout there lives not telling the people that they love that they love them when they feel that! That on is probably even bigger than the other.
Kenneth R. Livingston
August 13, 2010 at 5:42 am
Hey Kevin,
Well put thank you!
August 13, 2010 at 11:49 am
Thank you for your inspiriation, and I humbly submit a little of my own, which has been a great source of strength and encouragment:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” – I Timothy 1:7
August 13, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Hey Morgan,
The Timothy’s are my favorite books of the Bible along with the Thessalonians’ and Titus. Thanks man!
Kenneth R. Livingston
August 13, 2010 at 7:03 pm
Nice post. It’s true, we let our fears to control our lives and we miss some important things. We all should overcome our fears and do the things we want. My biggest fear is rejection by others, socially, sexually, professionally. But I am on a good path.
August 13, 2010 at 9:41 pm
Davey Wavey, would you ever consider living in a different country? Like Europe, or Australia? I am deathly afraid of flying over the oceans… But this coming christmas my family and I will be traveling to europe, thus meaning I have to conquer my fears!!=\
August 14, 2010 at 4:33 am
Oooo, Davey, I am with you on this one! I lived in New York’s Hudson Valley for a while, and there are some *exquisite* mountain lakes up there, which my friends always wanted to swim in. I would go with them quite reluctantly, because the area was infested with (non-venomous) water snakes. Sure enough, one day while we were sitting on the dam at the edge of the lake with the water rushing over our laps, what flows towards us and over the dam but a water snake. That was it for me: no more lake swimming while I lived up there! Down here in VA, it’s more a matter of practicality now: we’ve got cottonmouths in these parts, and that’s nothing to mess with. So, while I salute your courage, I’ve got to say that I won’t be following in your footsteps any time soon on this matter:-)
August 19, 2010 at 1:04 am
Davey, this post was really inspirational. I suffer from so many fears, it’s nearly impossible to list them all. However, my number one fear is that of spiders. I’m unaware of how this feat came to be, but if I even catch a glimpse of a spider, regardless of how small, I will vacate the area immediately. It’s a real shame, because I hardly spend any time outside in ‘green’ areas and always spend time outside in populated city-scapes.
August 28, 2011 at 5:07 am
I fear that I will be all alone one day trapped in sorrow but I doubt that’s gonna happen cuz I have u Davey! <3