As part of my real job, I develop online strategies for non-profit organizations. One of the generally accepted fundraising rules states that for every one time you ask a donor for money, you should thank the donor three times. It’s the 1:3 rule.
Today, while walking my dog, I realized that the 1:3 rule works well when applied to life. For every one time that we bitch or complain, we ought to be grateful three times.
It’s easy to forget just how wonderful this world is. And it’s easy to overlook the many things for which to be thankful.
Imagine a small, black spot in an entirely white room. Our eyes and attention are quickly drawn to that one spot. But in actuality, that black spot is but a tiny percentage of the room’s surface area. When we spend our energy focusing on the black spot, we forget the rest of the room.
Our so-called problems, issues and complaints are like those tiny spots in an otherwise white room. When we focus our energy and attention on our so-called problems – and spend our time complaining – it’s easy to forget just how beautiful this life is.
I’m going to make a commitment (that I’ll inevitably break) to apply the 1:3 rule to my life. For each time that I bitch and complain, I’ll express my gratitude three times.
May 28, 2009 at 6:18 pm
I’ll make this commitment too.
You’re so wise, Davey
xo
May 29, 2009 at 12:35 pm
But some people have lots of black spots and little sunshine gets in their room.
Don’t ignore them while you rejoice in the light you have
But it is a better approach tahn being selfish.
Better than not even knowing you are very fortunate..
May 28, 2009 at 6:26 pm
I’ve already made a similar commitment! I’m glad to see I’m not the only one.
May 28, 2009 at 6:33 pm
been there, done that
Nah~
Good advice Davey. I think it’s what I needed in my life right now. T.T
May 28, 2009 at 6:50 pm
I love this! There are so many different applications for the 1:3 rule. Very cool!
Ciao!
May 28, 2009 at 7:39 pm
This Is Great. You Have A Very Great Mind, & I Agree With Everything You Say. Kinda Sad, Right? Well, Thank You So Much!!!
[; Very Awesome.
May 28, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Thank you Davey
I tend to forget to be thankful, so I need to be reminded of this often.
May 28, 2009 at 8:13 pm
It took me until I was in my late twenties to realize the black-spot white-room conundrum.To realize this sooner would have been bliss.
Peace.
May 28, 2009 at 10:09 pm
This is highly commendable! All too often, I find myself cynical and wrongly focusing on all the the things that are wrong with the world today instead of the positives.
Cheers!
May 29, 2009 at 8:21 am
these thoughts are something to keep in mind everyday-and practice them-hugs.
May 28, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Hey!!! The example is pretty much like a piece that I made for my arts class, just that instead of gratitude it was happiness… O:
Love!
May 28, 2009 at 10:55 pm
I like this, but doubt that I would be able to stick to it for a nanosecond. I try to be grateful for my life always. Is there room for improvement? Absolutely!
I keep an image on my desktop that is easy to pop open anytime I happen to be feeling that my life, such as it is, is anything less than amazing. I will place a link to it here, I have nothing to do with the site or the image. I picked the site from the google results because I liked the name ‘Incredimazing’ what a great word!
The image has simply taken away any feelings that I may somehow have the right to a bad day. I live amongst an absolute embarrassment of riches and when I forget that, this image helps me remember.
http://incredimazing.com/page/Kevin_Carters_Pulitzer_Prizewinning_Photo
May 28, 2009 at 11:48 pm
“For every one time that we bitch or complain, we ought to be grateful three times.”
Indeed – if we just keep our minds and especially our hearts open, then the world is truly and amazing place.
“Imagine a small, black spot in an entirely white room”
Imagine though how boring a totally white room would be. The black spot gives context and dimension to the whiteness. It adds interest and meaning to the room. My world is enriched by the differences among my friends and also the amazing spectrum of the people I meet every day.
May 29, 2009 at 2:29 am
i guess this is his indirect reply to all the ‘f*g stack’ comments?
May 29, 2009 at 2:52 am
This is a real challenge.
I completely understand your thoughts and also try something similar. In my ‘real job’ I deal with a lot of people that can have a good old fashioned whine and I find myself joining in entirely too frequently. I actively catch myself in these negative diatribes and attempt to turn it around. Even if you don’t manage the 1:3 at least catch yourself and try to turn it around. My work is actually interesting and fascinating, we can just get so caught up in the negative.
Oh and for all those cubicle farmers out there try this one, on Monday morning go to work and greet everyone with genuine enthusiasm. I love the response I get when people ask how I am and I reply that “I’m fantastic, how could I not be?”
May 29, 2009 at 6:31 am
I’m a great believer in this pinciple, I guess it has to do with the sort of rotten luck I’ve had.
May 29, 2009 at 6:41 am
Dear Davey,
You are sweet!
You are kind!
You are neat!
I love you Davey Wavey! xoxox
joey
May 29, 2009 at 6:44 am
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
May 29, 2009 at 9:57 am
Sort of like the girl in oz, tap your heels three times…..
May 29, 2009 at 10:27 am
This makes a lot of sense …the world really is a beautiful place and it’s a shame so many of us miss out on it. Thanks for doing your part to open their eyes Davey!!
PS: I’ve been a youtube follower for about a week now. So glad I finally came to visit your blog ; )
<3 Jakey
May 29, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I’m going to apply that immediately. I like the idea, yes, really I like that. Good post David!
bye,
May 29, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I’m honoured to have had this entry written on my birthday. For the past 2 years my life has been all about gratitude and to have this written on my birthday is like an affirmative omen.
I get present to my gratitude by keeping a list of everything I have to be grateful for. This list stays with me wherever I go and every time I identify a new thing for which I am grateful I add it to the list. Over 2 years it’s really grown and taken a life of its own.
Over the past 2 years I’ve developed a foundation of happiness and peace in my life that I could never have imagined before. I am accutely aware of my good fortune and that even were I to experience a catastrophic event in my life I would be nonetheless grateful for all I have. As long as I have life and the knowledge and gratitude in my head I am ahead of the game. I am unstoppable in being happy.
Do I complain now and again? Yeah, sometimes. Who doesn’t? But whereas I used to complain incessantly, now I complain once a day; twice on a really tough day
If you want make yourself aware of everything you have to be grateful for, make a list. For those of you whose list is less than one page long, get a friend to help you. The people around you can see a lot more than you can. It’s amazing the things I didn’t realize I should be grateful for that others have been able to point out to me.
Cheers all!! Thanks Davey!!
May 29, 2009 at 5:38 pm
A great reminder, we slip back into looking at the spots without even realizing it. Thanks, Davey
May 29, 2009 at 6:49 pm
I am grateful for Davey Wavey’s Blog!
I am grateful for Davey Wavey’s Blog!
I am grateful for Davey Wavey’s Blog!
May 29, 2009 at 8:51 pm
There’s a little black spot on the sun today…..(alright you bitches start singing!)
June 3, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Would this tiny black spot just happen to be in a padded room, perchance?? Ha ha.. cwazy!!
June 5, 2009 at 6:59 am
I have to admit that I have heard this principle before. I have just recently started seeing a guy who has this type of positive outlook on life. I find myself drawn to this positivity. I guess that shows my NEGATIVITY. I am able to admit that. Now can our friendship continue to draw closer or will we begin to repel one another if we are both POSITIVE?!?!?!?! Hmmmm…