I couldn’t help but chuckle when I read a comment on Thursday’s very gay video blog. The commentator said that I shouldn’t make videos about gay things – that enough is enough. His comment stands in stark contrast to another that I received on a recent not-so-gay video, wherein the commentator expressed his frustration that the video wasn’t about something gay.
When it comes to the videos I do, my blog, or really life in general for all of us, we’re all really damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Everyone sees the world through the lenses of their personal perspectives and experiences, and just like snowflakes – no two minds are alike. Trying to please or gain the acceptance of everyone is like trying to find a pair of jeans that fits every ass. Good luck.
Since my life gets shared on a larger scale than most, I’m always aware of this inability to please. Whatever I say seems to gain both praise and criticism, and so it’s especially easy for me to recognize the insanity of trying to live for other people. Instead of trying to please everyone, I’ve found an alternative strategy: I just do what feels right and good for me. And yes, sometimes it means making a gay video – and sometimes it does not.
In trying to please one person, you alienate another – and more importantly, you lose yourself. The only person we ought to please is ourselves; follow your heart and take the commentary with a grain of salt.
April 30, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Ah! Grasshopper, you understand.
April 30, 2011 at 12:46 pm
So true! I say please yourself first, then get outta bed and please whoever was laying next to you!
much love DW, -Stu
April 30, 2011 at 12:56 pm
It’s your blog do what you whant
April 30, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Story of my life… Especially in the work place.
April 30, 2011 at 1:07 pm
You are very wise!
April 30, 2011 at 1:13 pm
tht is so true u cant please everyone if u try to ull go insane…………this next one is said by bill cosby (i did a project on him and i think his quote is awesome!) “i dont know the key to sucess but the key to failer is trying to please everybody but urself….
April 30, 2011 at 1:18 pm
There’s way too much nastiness on blogs. I find that if a person can’t hold a civil conversation there is no point in wasting any energy on them. Daveywavey you make us laugh, you make us think and you make us cry. Keep up the good work.
April 30, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Stuart, I love how the blog app considers your last name offensive enough to obscure LMAO!!
April 30, 2011 at 2:14 pm
You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but you can’t please all of the people all of the time. It really is futile to resist such a fundamental truth of life. With nearly infinite opinions out there one is almost certain to find you or the things you write less than pleasing.
I told you this last week and I’ll echo it now:
This above all else; to thine own self be true — Don’t let the bastards grind you down!
- William Shakespeare and Margaret Atwood, respectively
April 30, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I used to work for a Gay Men’s health clinic. We had a forum about an STD booklet we were going to produce. One guy actually didn’t want us to have any pictures or talk about sex at all. Its true! Some will think you are too gay and some you aren’t gay enough. Rock On Davey!
April 30, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Davey, every fan base has at least two major side, one that likes it one way, and the other that likes it another way. And the decision the person that run whatever these people are fans of, (in this case you are your videos) is this: whether you want to make videos that appeal to both sides, or just make videos based on one side. I think you should just mix it up, one week make a video about gay stuff, and another week, make a video about other stuff. Simple!
April 30, 2011 at 2:54 pm
It’s wonderful watching you evolve to a higher level of self-awareness and then sharing your new insights with your blog buddies.
Each “seed of light”, like this one, that you plant in your BTI blog garden has the potential to grow to fruition within each of your readers.
Those seeds can/will eventually do so, when your readers, each in their own time and way, are ready to cultivate, nurture and harvest them. (Of course, individual results and understandings may vary.)
Whether it happens immediately or takes a couple of lifetimes, it’s perfect either way.
Peace, Love and Truth,
Todd in VA
PS. It’s too bad that today’s seed wasn’t planted 9 blogs ago.
April 30, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. Try back next week” LOL you totally Get it, Wise lesson. We can’t please everyone. I think as people we cater a bit to most folks. Even that has a limit. We are responsible for our own happiness.
Off topic. Ran into an old friend with some sorted views on Gay. So, I told him Oh I’m only Gay on Mondays and Saturdays. A few times on Wed. He just looked at me like Huh, how..Then I grinned at him and asked if he was str8 only a couple of days out of the week and Bi curious the rest.. It certainly sounded better out of my mouth Vs writing it. My point was to make him think, apparently it worked..
I’m good at doing that making them think and Laugh. anyways Keep it up DW. You remind me of my Ex sometime, just without the wisdom. The profound and wise, was my department.
April 30, 2011 at 3:17 pm
haha! i love it
April 30, 2011 at 5:58 pm
I think this is one of the main reasons why people are still in the closet. They are afraid they might disappoint their friends and family if they find out they are gay.
There is a certain maturity when you can say:” Hey world, I am what I am. I bang my own drum. Some thinks its noise, I think its pretty.”
When I told my dad I was gay he said: “You need to live your life in such a way that makes you happy. Don’t live it in a way which you think will make me happy.” Very wise words.
April 30, 2011 at 6:58 pm
ready to please!
April 30, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Amen
April 30, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Just please ME all the time and then I will be happy always!!!
April 30, 2011 at 8:01 pm
This is so true and a reason why your blog is so entertaining yet thoughtful.
Thank you for being yourself and being strong.
So much love
April 30, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Davey!! You definitely need to do a tally blog next week about how to spot other gays. Sometimes it’s obvious, but other times it is really hard and frustrating. You should see if you can come up with any tips on how to help us spot our fellow gays!!!!! =))))
May 1, 2011 at 7:06 am
DW
I think you do a darn good job …. stay true to you.
Chuck
Jax FL
May 1, 2011 at 8:27 am
For all you gay americans, if your state hasnt legalized gay marriage come to canada the best country in the world, free health care yo!
May 1, 2011 at 12:58 pm
What I like best about Davey Wavey is that he takes risks.
May 1, 2011 at 4:59 pm
It’s hardly free considering the consequent tax burden we each have to bear. And despite each of us paying so much in taxes our system almost completely neglects mental and emotional health let alone dentistry and pharmaceuticals. The system is OK but hardly glorious.
May 1, 2011 at 5:05 pm
That’s totally true, Davey!
Everyone should do the same!
May 1, 2011 at 6:24 pm
So never erase a video ever again.
May 1, 2011 at 7:43 pm
It is impossible to negate stereotypes. But we can laugh at them. This is how I feel about the sad priestly pedophile issue. It is an important issue for the Catholic church to deal with and much more prevalent than the church is willing to admit. Sexual repression breeds crazies. I was attracted to the seminary when I was having difficulty over my sexuality. Glad my mother would not let me go.
May 2, 2011 at 3:25 pm
I dissagree you should make you videos <but youll get tired of just that one topic Honestly.Im a gay man myself so that wasnt trying to be meanBut its like mostly to me your videos are hilarios .Id like it if you talked about Well Porno
May 2, 2011 at 8:45 pm
oh-lets not forget optometric costs as well.
May 2, 2011 at 8:55 pm
dont ever please everybody-if you do-your videos will be less appealing.what i mean bottom line-do what you do-dont ever change.
May 3, 2011 at 12:00 am
if you truly believe this, you’ll repost that video you took down after you got hit with a ton of criticism. i think the people who didnt see it deserve to see it for themselves.
May 3, 2011 at 9:19 am
I used to be a hard core people pleaser and I still am to a certain extent. I find myself sometimes taking back what I say or something I am feeling off the internet because I am afraid of ruining my reputation. However, I find that in general I am getting much better and feel better when I just express myself without any reserves.
May 7, 2011 at 3:19 pm
I love your blog. Key word “YOUR” haha
May 9, 2011 at 11:09 am
Wow. I have just been struggling with this same concept. It has taken me years to come to grips with it. But it has been life changing. Thanks for posting this, Davey!