Comments on: Tuesday’s Tips: How to love yourself.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 09:20:16 +0000

Hi Chris. It’s a while since you posted so you may not even read this. In any case, maybe you are feeling less sad nowadays. However, if you still feel sad, let me remind you that sadness is an inevitable part of life. Every single being on the planet feels sad (yes, animals too!), and in some degree they feel it all the time, along with other feelings too, of course. So take comfort from knowing that are you not alone. However you are in a stronger position than many, who can’t even allow themselves to experience this deep dark feeling. Actually your ability to go deep into this experience is an indication of your richness and courage as a human being. Really feeling your negative side is the first step to full-fill-ment, and indeed it is known that as we start to grow we encounter obstacles, and the first obstacle is the welling up of uncomfortable feelings from inside us. Listen to these feelings, but let them go. Just like breathing in… and breathing out. Letting go allows us to move to ever deeper states of awareness. Note I don’t say “understanding” – we may never understand – I just say “awareness.” Life’s fascination is endless, and as a living creature your true nature is infinite! The problems begin when we get attached to feelings, and we start to identify with them. Thoughts and feelings are not all we are, only part! It is ATTACHMENT that produces negative effects, not only on you, but on your whole world. So love your sadness, let it be, and just let it go. You won’t always feel this way, and if you keep reminding yourself “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”, then one day, when you are not even thinking about it, you will notice that the sadness has passed. I hope this is useful advice.

By: Baxter

Baxter — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 02:52:29 +0000

Cat, remember that everyone is pessimistic from time to time. It’s a phase, just like everything else in life. The way to deal with pessimism is to look to the future. Think about where your life is going, set down goals, work out how you are going to become the person you want to be. If you just give yourself a few days where you forget about the present and plan for the future, I guarantee you that you will be optimistic, excited and ready for change.

By: joey

joey — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:21:12 +0000

Peter – if you were within reach I would give you a big hug and let you know I was here whenever you felt down, needed to talk, needed a hug, or wanted to go out or just hang out. Now that you’ve discovered this site, know we, your fellow blog buddies are here for you. I pray also, that you may feel the power of the universe, god, goodness is also with you; and that you may experience this in the rising sun, a singing bird, a bed of flowers, the kindness of a stranger, the comfort of snuggling your pillow in bed, . . . I wish these things for you because I LOVE YOU.

By: Cal

Cal — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 02:18:16 +0000

why?
that sounds sad…how old are you?
why would you assume nobody would ever love you?
are you like…very very ugly?
there’s always somebody for someone, just keep searching.
I know some people who really don’t care about how they look and how others look,
they’re happy and stuff.
unless you consider yourself ugly from inside out, but if that’s the case, I also know people who likes bad/mean, ugly people!
How bad is your situation?
Hope this didn’t offend you, I’m just trying to help

By: peter

peter — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:41:05 +0000

I don’t like my self. all my life always alone,i am still virgin,i know nobody would ever love me on or say it to me,sometime it hurt so much i have pain my chest that can not even breath.

By: Things We Have Facebooked This Week… « Q:alliance

Things We Have Facebooked This Week… « Q:alliance — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 10:58:11 +0000

[...] A wonderful article looking at how you can learn to love yourself - http://www.breaktheillusion.com/?p=1805 [...]

By: Greg(arious)

Greg(arious) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:46:34 +0000

cheap shot.

By: joey

joey — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 10:52:56 +0000

Self-forgiveness is SO important. Self-forgiveness doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter what I did in the past; it means I acknowledge the mistake, am sorry, will try my best not to repeat the mistake, and will not let my past hold me back. As the following lyrics from a Rascal Flatts song go, “I’m Movin On …”

I’ve dealt with my ghosts
And faced all my deamons
Finally content with the past I regret
I found you find strenght in your moments of weakness
For once I’m at peace with my self
I’ve been burdened with blame
Traped in the past for too long
I’m movin on

May you be able to move on too . . .

By: Cris Qui

Cris Qui — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 09:41:38 +0000

I’ve always been doin’ #5 and it’s really good… nice post…(:

By: Cal

Cal — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 08:31:22 +0000

how much I wished to be White…

By: Cal

Cal — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 08:28:16 +0000

Thanks for the message, a few funny parts too.
But it’s really hard for me to love myself completely…I really don’t like being an Asian without (at least) average sized penis, curved butt, and a pair of deep, pretty eyes…

By: jupiteron

jupiteron — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:05:06 +0000

Narcissus speaks!

By: Byron H

Byron H — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:45:21 +0000

Hey man, I came across one of ur videos on YT n decided to visit ur website. Ur awesome man, really like urn blog

By: james m

james m — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 20:28:28 +0000

yeah, i understand the whole idea of thinking positive/negative things about yourself and that we shouldn’t create delusions about ourselves. and in avoiding these delusions how do you tell the difference of lies and the truth, from both yourself and others. (e.g.) like some of my friends say that i don’t look bad, but i strongly disagree with that, it honestly seems like a lie to think of myself in a good way. and this is seriously impeding my progress on tip #3, on how to learn how to love myself, haha. (thanks for the reply)

By: Davis Hinojosa

Davis Hinojosa — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:49:25 +0000

I NEED U I’M …. YOU KNOW WHO I AM PLEASE ANSWER ME!!! HURRY!!!

By: patrick

patrick — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:37:53 +0000

That’s not necessarily true for everyone. It can be very good, and good for you too. Research is finding that it may even help prevent prostate cancer.

Using the word temptation implies that there is something “wrong”. There isn’t anything wrong with it, it’s natural.

By: Greg(arious)

Greg(arious) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:32:07 +0000

Hey James,
Positive affirmations are no more a lie than the hateful things we sometimes think and say about ourselves.
I have a great suspicion of people who say hateful things to others using the excuse “i’m just telling the truth”, as if they are being courageous. They are mistaking audacity for truth, and it is an easy and cowardly thing to do.
We don’t need to do that to ourselves, either.

Positive affirmations aren’t just the opposite of negative thinking. It’s so much more. The negative tape in my head says “I will never look like that guy in the side-bar ad for “Gay Body Blog: male perfection”. The positive affirmation isn’t “Yes I do, yes I do, I look just like that, so I’m male perfection too!” That’s a misguided lie, a twisting of reality. The TRUTH is “I am who I am right now, and who I am right now is perfect, because now is perfect.”

I know, I know … it sounds like dime-store, self-help, Dr Phil crap. But don’t blow it off. It’s much older and much wiser than any mass-media produced phenomenon.

We are the stories we tell ourselves. They are full of tragedy and comedy and the banal. Why focus on the tragic or the banal — it’s gonna show up anyway. Why not focus on the comedy? Hell, why not focus on the musical-comedy?!

By: Greg(arious)

Greg(arious) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:10:41 +0000

Oh, Cat. You can.
Dave from Windsor makes a good point — choose.
There are mornings I wake up and the negative loop is already playing in my head. It seems to start before I’m even aware.

So, as dorkie as it sounds, I put a BIG sign on the mirror over my dresser that said (in bright, colourful letters) CHOOSE.

It’s just a reminder that I CAN choose:
I can choose to listen to that tape, or choose to shut it off.
I can choose to pull the covers up over my head, or I can choose to get the coffee brewin’.
I can choose to live in the lower-case, or I can choose to OVER-DO the CAPS LOCK, or I can choose to

It takes time and practice to undo the habit of self-berating. But it’s time worth investing.

By: David

David — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:06:47 +0000

If you google any of the highlighted items in this post, you will find dozens of other sites using the same words. It’s time to refrain from the package and just say what’s on our minds.

By: Thomas

Thomas — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:34:54 +0000

After years and years of tiny highs and huge downs, I finally got to the point of completely accepting myself as the man who I am. I feel so liberated, so relieved. My mother had to die to achieve that (that’s a sad and deep one).
People who know me well ánd people who don’t tell me I’m beaming. And that’s exactly how I feel, beaming. Full of energy, determination and love of life.
Wherever I walk, a road will form, that’s my new motto.

By: Thomas

Thomas — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:29:52 +0000

I have to add: try and refrain yourself from doing it, every time you feel the urge to do it. So: bring down the frequency. It’ll lift your spirit.

By: Thomas

Thomas — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:27:37 +0000

Of course it’s an obvious and easy thing to do. But it won’t last.
It’s a short term solution. Resist the temptation, try and refrain yourself from doing it. In the long run you feel a better person. I’ve been there…

By: Adam

Adam — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:20:16 +0000

You have opened up my world to a whole lot of NASTY youtube videos.

By: bruin

bruin — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 02:11:27 +0000

this was a f*****g amazing post. like amazing. thank you davey wavey. youre the best. thank youthank you

By: Dave from Windsor

Dave from Windsor — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:48:12 +0000

It’s a choice. Let yourself choose optimism. It really is just that simple. Look for the good in a situation and go with it.