Today, I thought it would be fun to brainstorm possible epitaphs. I can’t think of a better way to spend a Tuesday afternoon. In actuality, I think I’d rather be cremated than buried in the ground. But what the hell will I care if I’m dead? Nonetheless, here’s what I jotted down and why:
“Nothing is buried here.”
- or -
“Nothing real dies.”
This is, of course, is in reference to the my belief that death (much like life – at least in how we experience it) is an illusion. This body isn’t real – and its days are numbered. And I wouldn’t want it any other way!
“Free at last.
Free at last.”
I’m excited for the freedom that comes with death. When you’re dead, it’s obviously much easier to free yourself from the limitations of three-dimensional living and transcend the binds of time and space. Sign me up!
“The water you drank might have been my pee.”
Well, it’s true! At the most basic physical level, reincarnation is indisputable. My pee will have a new life – and some day, after being filtered through ground water, the ocean, evaporated into the sky, etc., it may be consumed as drinking water. Besides, graveyards are way too serious.
What about you? What do you want your tombstone to say?
April 29, 2009 at 2:52 pm
A sapling. Which my form will feed.
April 29, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I don’t want a tombstone, I want to be cremated and have my ashes used in the making of fireworks. The ‘funeral’ will be a picnic on the beach a the fireworks display at the end. I end up(the physical part anyway) scattered on the wind. : )
April 29, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I’ve considered a few options.
however, if i die at 27 i will have it say
“Proud member of the 27 to heaven club”
since a lot of culture geniuses died at 27, Joplin, Cobain and many more.
But otherwise a simple
“Lived fast, died young”
will do
April 29, 2009 at 6:00 pm
“he finally snapped…just like we always knew he would”
April 29, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I’m going with “Nathan Todd…buried alive”
April 29, 2009 at 6:21 pm
LMAO FRIENDS !!!
April 29, 2009 at 11:05 pm
There will be nothing on my tombstone! I feel its a great waste of space on this planet to claim a plot of land for eiternity. As population increases space will become more and more limited and I dont want my kids (if I have any) to be forced to live in high rise apartments and leave land only for farmers to grow their crops on. If my childern or even yours wants a small corner lot house with a nice year they should have the right to buy it.
On top of that I hate visiting graves to place flowers on them, its sad to see graves with out anything on them. Familys die off and grave are left and are never visited.
The cost of a grave and tombstone are outragist.
April 29, 2009 at 11:45 pm
What “If” , the hokey pokey was all its all about?
April 30, 2009 at 12:20 am
Epitaph of Benjamin Franklin, written at 27.
The body of
B. Franklin, Printer
(Like the Cover of an Old Book
Its Contents torn Out
And Stript of its Lettering and Gilding)
Lies Here, Food for Worms.
But the Work shall not be Lost;
For it will (as he Believ’d) Appear once More
In a New and More Elegant Edition
Revised and Corrected
By the Author.
April 30, 2009 at 2:31 pm
emptrix nata svm, of course!
:p
May 1, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Thanks for the many laughs!!
Davey’s last one reminds me of a poem Lee Hays wrote before he died:
If I should die before I wake,
All my bone and sinew take.
Put them in the compost pile
And decompose me for awhile.
Sun, wind, water will have their way;
Reducing me to common clay.
All that I am will feed the trees
And little fishes in the seas.
When corn and radishes you munch,
You may be having me for lunch!
Then excrete me with a grin
Chortling, There goes Lee again …
May 2, 2009 at 9:43 am
Don’t be so hurry, it will be soon up your turn!
May 5, 2009 at 8:00 am
Probably going to be buried after organ donation but I think I would go with,
“My only request is that you don’t let the dogs pee on me”
or “just wait, I’ll get outta here sooner or later”.
May 5, 2009 at 5:53 pm
“A million drinks went down this throat, so if you should pass by my tombstone, just stop and piss on it, cuz I’m always gonna be dry!”
May 5, 2009 at 8:31 pm
It would say “SHAKE THAT AASSS BITCH AND LET ME SEE WHAT YOU GOT!”
September 16, 2009 at 8:43 am
“Went out smiling” I’m also considering putting a happy face on it