We can learn a lot about ourselves from body hair. Especially when it turns up in a place that we deem inappropriate.
I remember the day that I discovered my first chest hair. It turned out to be one of the only one’s that I’d ever get. Somehow, through a strange combination of my French Canadian and Portuguese genes, I managed to escape the same hairy fate that met so many of the men in my family.
Maybe it’s all the soy milk that I drink. I say this half-jokingly, as soy does contain a compound that is very similar to estrogen.
So while I’m unable to grow hair almost anywhere, I still find myself trimming and shaving the few fertile areas on which my body hair does actually take root and grow.
It’s silly, really, if you think about it. Body hair is natural. In many ways, it’s just like the dandelions. Dandelions were fine and dandy until someone decided they were weeds. Someone, at some point, similarly decided that it’s better to be smooth (gay bears, cubs and daddies [yum], aside), especially within the gay community. Perhaps it’s our community’s preoccupation with age that has idolized the impossibly smooth man.
And as such, an entire industry of hair removal sprang up to fulfill this want. Lasers and potions and chemicals – oh my!
If the universe wants hair to grow on your toes, isn’t that the perfect place for it to be? Maybe. Or maybe it’s more like tending a garden. A gardener doesn’t let the plants grow in every which way; he or she trims and prunes and cultivates the plants to adhere to a certain vision. Maybe we’re all just trimming our garden.
I just can’t help but think that our obsession with body hair runs deeper. Trimming a beard or shaving facial hair must be a bit different than undergoing total body hair removal through laser treatment. After all, you can’t have a garden without at least a few plants.
Does our fixation on body hair represent some level of collective insanity? Does it represent an unquenchable desire to control our environment and every aspect therein? Or is it really no different than clipping your toenails?
I can’t make sense of it all, but perhaps you can. Leave your thoughts about this hairy situation in the comments below.
April 27, 2010 at 8:40 am
Don’t worry Davey, I was smooth my whole life, you’ll see as you grow older that you will be sprouting hairs in all the wrong places, ears, nose and shoulders. Easy to pluck out and you’ll never have to resort to waxing. You’ll still be adorable.
April 27, 2010 at 8:47 am
A man with his arms above his head, showing ample underarm hair is, for me, a big turn-on, whether or not they have shaved elsewere! Thus, I hope the swing toward hairless men doesn’t take over the armpits too! I noticed in the last year that at least one major shaving device manufacturer is marketing a shaver for artful shaving of hairy areas. I’d say we may be getting somewhere when US industry begins to cater to our whims.
April 27, 2010 at 9:06 am
“one of the only one’s” Davey, you’ve hit one of my biggest pet peeves, which is using popular phrases that have no meaning. “One of the only one’s” means nothing, because it doesn’t make sense. Of course, we know what you mean, but it’s still wrong. Clearly you mean to say one of the few. The use of only one means only one. Period. There can’t be one of the only ones.
April 27, 2010 at 10:00 am
Double standards abound in our society, males are supposed to have some body hair as a sign of virility and sexual potency, females are supposed to be clean of it as a sign of being just old enough to breed, in other words fertility but just old enough. And when looked at in the light of evolution and Darwin’s theory of natural selection it does make sense. Males (at least the straight variety) want young females capable of producing offspring so the the aggregate pressure to select is on younger less hairy women, while a muscular viril man complete with robust body hair signals to females a good provider able to win in battle. These are not the only selective factors of course, but they are among the most important because they are the obvious outward visual signs we can see without stripping off our clothes.
I was always very smooth, and mostly still am. I always wanted a more virile, hairy, look as a young guy, but when I finally could grow a passable moustache it seemed ridiculous, I looked like a 10 year old with a fake moustache on. I looked too young for it. Now that I am older I could get away with it, but the whiskers are more than half white.
Funny thing about beards, MOST guys with them would look 100% better clean shaven (not all so no offense) just as with long hair, there are few men with long hair that actually are improved by it, but the few that do look better with all that hair are really hot yes?
For gay men one of the problems is that hair in the mouth and between teeth is unpleasant. So if you want another guy to put his mouth somewhere you should clean it up.
Anybody else here rue the bald spots caused by years of wearing athletic socks? I have pretty hairy legs till about 6 inches above the ankle, I wonder if Monoxidil would resprout it.
April 27, 2010 at 10:34 am
Hairy is hot!
And I’m glad you like daddies!
April 27, 2010 at 10:48 am
One of the great joys of being a gay man is marveling at the wonderful variety of natural body hair patterns on men. Pretty much as it grows, be it a little or a lot, I can admire and enjoy. Hairier is better for me than smooth, but naturally smooth can be hot too. But manscaped, ewww. Just can’t take it. The fastest way to be denied the pleasure of my intimate company is to trim, shave, laser, or wax anything below the neck. The fact that such conduct continues to be practiced by so many gay men regardless of my admonition against it, certainly bruises my ego, but I’ll have to get over it.
April 27, 2010 at 11:48 am
I guess we are a pretty narcissistic bunch, so be it.
I’m not very hairy: Barely visible in my pits, kind of thin in the pubes, etc. But I shaved my whole pubic area completely smooth on a dare when I was a senior in high school. Ever since then I’ve been completely smooth about 90% of the time (as right now).
I don’t accept all the Freudian type bullshit that most or all shaved guys “really” want to be “little boys” and can’t accept their masculinity or adult status. True, some guys do have deep issues that lead to shaving or staying “natural;” but most shaved guys do it for aesthetic or practical reasons.
For me it began as a teenage dare. I just liked the smooth feel down there. Since I freeball (go commando) all the time, I did get hairs caught in my zipper when I had a natural bush. Now freeballing and shaving are two permanent good habits.
Some times I fantasize that I have thick black unshaven hair in my pits and well-trimmed sculpted black hair on my pubic area. That turns me on with other guys.
Most of the time I have preferred very smooth guys. Then I met J, who had dark hair on his chest, pits, and package, with much more on his legs. I’ve gone nuts over him. He’s beautiful. He’s from the UK.
Yes how we deal with our body hair is also a cultural phenomenon. It goes in fads in the U.S. and, recently, a lot of str8 guys shave. Most of you know that UK and European guys are almost always uncut with natural hair. In addition they are less obsessed by lollipop size than Yanks are.
But in the end it really doesn’t matter if one is hairy or smooth and we shouldn’t tease, put down or hassle either type.
April 27, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Davey, you sure have opened up a sexy discussion. I find all this hair and implied skin a real turn-on. Keep up the great work!!
April 27, 2010 at 4:33 pm
lol wOw
April 27, 2010 at 4:37 pm
i do agree haha
April 27, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Body hair and foreskins, same same, but different. The hair grows back.
Fads come and go. In the sixties girls left hair in the pits and on their legs grow as nature intended. That sent the folks at Nair Inc. and Gillette up the wall. I wonder just how much Warren Buffet makes off dudes shaving everything insight. He owns Gillette. I bet he doesn’t shave his bush.
I can remember getting a hardon just seeing a foto on the sports pages of a basketball player reaching up to dunk and thus exposing his bushy pit. Mmmmm. I was 11, I think.
Foreskins and body hair. Leave ‘em alone. They make us human, not plastic like a hairless skinless dildo.
April 27, 2010 at 4:45 pm
amen!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 27, 2010 at 4:46 pm
amen!!!!!!!
April 27, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Dang, you stupid queens. You are MEN, not women, what the f**k? Go have a damn sex change if you want to be a woman. Men are supposed to have hair.
April 27, 2010 at 7:36 pm
It’s unfortunate that you a gay man should use such vile language against so many of your brothers.
April 27, 2010 at 8:48 pm
People’s desires often outpace their genetics and heredity; We’ve seen what a smooth, and almost hairless body, with an athletic tone, and clear skin looks like.
We also have the odd need for the hair that we do want to grow luxuriously and in a proper direction and kinkiness, straightness, or waviness should look like on a scalp (but preferably not out of the ears or nose), should look like.
Having the ability to change one’s hair color, and texture with chemicals, and thickness with implants and treatments, doesn’t change the fact that if we’re conditioned to be dissatisfied with ourselves unless we buy and use a product. This means, even after we’ve purchased, and administered, and waited through the processes to get what we desired, that there is still something more that we should buy to fit an ideal.
Ignore the ads. If you can have someone to run their fingers through your hair and rub your scalp until you drool in their lap and they love you for it, then you’ve got more happiness than any commercial has advertised.
Encourage someone to love you by being loving. A pet may not be able to rub your scalp, but their antics and purrs and shared laughter will take years off of your apparent age.
Live happy, but most important, live lovingly.
April 27, 2010 at 9:16 pm
On love much more than hair, do read
True Love: A practice to awakening the heart, by Thich Nhat Hanh. His other books are worth your time too!
April 27, 2010 at 11:21 pm
Yes, details please.
April 28, 2010 at 12:24 am
All you say Davey is true, but let me tell you. When it’s all said and done, I much prefer to rim an ass that is hairless, or mostly, as opposed to flossing my teeth on one that doesn’t manscape.
April 28, 2010 at 3:15 am
Hey ‘Fluffy Bri’ thats going to get ‘Marc’ of “Dang you stupid queers” danging a bit more, spit probably as well! Ha! ..true tho’ Shut people up! Anyway I prefer guys with hair in all the right places, but I’m quite happy to change a prefer for Davey Wavey!!
April 28, 2010 at 9:00 am
Nice feet! (World class sexy feet.)
April 28, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Our ancestors shaved their heads and bodies to control body lice and later, head lice. It was not pretty back then. I think some of our ideals of beauty like the statue David were a product of the times.
I am moderately hairy and my back hair drives me nuts. I had it waxed once and that was enough of that nonsense…so now I will occasionally run an electric shaver across my chest and belly at number 2 and trim the pubes…especially the balls and lower part of the c**k…nice to have sex or j******f with a nice smooth area; it does seem larger.
I seem to like most hair and body types but my latest lover was a young, thirtiesh man to my fifty eight ish…he was a lovely man with a childlike round hairless face but a wonderful rug of smooth brown hair on his bod and his butt…really turned me on.
April 29, 2010 at 7:59 am
If you trim some body areas it’s ok. We take care of ourselves and we want to look beautiful. But if you shave every hair on your body and pay to do this, then this is just too much!
April 29, 2010 at 4:02 pm
I agree that it seems really crazy when a guy gets all his hair waxed off, but i love a smooth chest for guys. And trimmed leg hair. i hate how long that gets.
April 29, 2010 at 7:12 pm
It’s just personal preference…like hair cuts.
I like hairy look (just not too long), but it’s actually uncomfortable during sex (they poke my butt!), so I’d still prefer the other one to shave or wax.
And ass hair is just gross to me… (I meant the ones right on the butthole, not buttcheek)
April 29, 2010 at 7:47 pm
i thinkbthis body hair situation is being made into a big, “hairy” deal… people shave because they want to shave. it just like cutting your hair. yoi do it because it makes you feel good about your self (well thats is why i like to do it), to make yoi feel beautiful. so shaving your body is no different than cutting your hair, but we arent making a big deal abt why their are people that shave their heads are we??
April 29, 2010 at 10:04 pm
OHH I HATE BODY HAIR. I CAN LIVE WITH IT AS LONG AS IT IS NOT BACK,CHEST,ASS,ORDICK.
April 29, 2010 at 10:10 pm
I CAN LIVE WITH HAIR AS LONG AS IT IS NOT ON MY BACK,CHEST,ASS,OR DICK/c**k/PENIS. I HATE IT
April 29, 2010 at 10:12 pm
f**k HAIR THAT IS ON YOUR BACK,CHEST ASS,DICK/c**k/PENIS.
April 29, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Agree 100% To each his own, I say
May 3, 2010 at 1:59 pm
ITs ok I guess. I think it’s a personal preference. It’s like how some guys like tall muscle guys and some like short scrawney guys. Personally, I don’t like hairless and I don’t like super hairy guys. There is a medium in which the hair amount is perfect. Live, Love, Logan!!!
December 4, 2010 at 11:27 am
I always used to be weirded out/grossed out by chest hair, mostly because the only guy I’d ever seen that had it was my dad, and I’m not into that. Then I turned 19 and BAM! I was fuzzier than he. I shaved for a long time, but as one wise fellow many comments up from me pointed out, after a certain point, you can’t reach.
Then I met the man who is now my husband, and as it happens that’s one of his favorite things in…well…the whole wide universe. The thousands of dollars I’ve saved on razors and body hair trimmers alone are a relief.
In all seriousness, I’m still not a fan of it myself, but I found someone who is, and it’s worked out well, especially since he’s not remarkably hairy, so that’s good for me…
It’s all a matter of perspective, when it comes down to it.
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