In my attempt to practice deeper unconditional acceptance, there stands a barrier: body hair.
My external struggle with body hair has been practically nonexistent. You wouldn’t believe the volume of emails I get from blog buddies asking for my hair removal secrets. The secret is simply that I don’t grow any. Perhaps some day, I’ll hit puberty. In the meantime, I don’t have much body hair to show for my 25 years. In fact, it has taken my a quarter-century to grow my sideburns to their current, mid-ear level.
But my internal struggle is ever present, particularly when I’m with another guy. I have to admit that the idea of a hairy ass crack doesn’t do much for me. Tongue, lips and hair are a combination that makes my skin crawl. Haven’t you ever had a hair caught in your mouth? It’s so gross. When I kiss a guy, I want to kiss, not floss my teeth with bristly hairs.
On the other hand, I have to recognize that hair is natural – and neutral. It is only disgusting because I have judged it to be so. Through the various channels of influence in my life, I have created this idea that body hair is unappealing. It’s a silly idea that I need to work through.
One might say that I’m in a hairy situation. I want to accept things as they are, but have a hard time doing so when it comes to body hair.
I know I’m not alone. And I know this struggle is probably more prevalent and more personal among women. But the battle between gay men and body hair is one for the history books, complete with epic arsenals of Nair, lasers and razors.
October 27, 2008 at 7:34 am
Eww… I agree.. sort off. But I enjoyed reading about it^^
November 5, 2008 at 4:39 pm
I so totally agree with you dave I totaly dont like body hair at and even the fact of touching it repulses me greatly though I probable shoud try to have an open mind about it but I can still make the choice not have any body hair myselfbye bye
October 27, 2008 at 7:42 am
Davey,
Be happy that you are the way you are. On the opposite side of the spectrum, some teens have hair growing up their back by the time they’re 20. So be grateful that you won’t be starting to look like “The Fly” by the time you’re 30!
October 27, 2008 at 7:44 am
Yeah! I tottaly Agree With!
December 6, 2009 at 3:57 am
I agree with you… body hair is disgusting to me, too bad I’m the hairiest guy I know
I’m only 15 and I can’t see my legs anymore…depressing
October 27, 2008 at 7:42 am
I don’t have much hair in my body, but the only I have, I shave it!
October 27, 2008 at 7:54 am
Haha Davey that was funny. I actually have some body hair but its not that much to look at, comparing to my face obivously. And eww really John, hair in the back is gross. (shivering). Well any ways see you later Davey.
October 27, 2008 at 8:27 am
Hey you!
I can’t agree more, body hair is unappealing but for some of us (unlike you)something that is a natural part of our bodies. Just like you have arms and legs, you have bodyhair…
I do think that all body hair (except the hair on your head) will be gone in a million years. If you look back on the early humans they were covered in thick hair and look at us now. Most of the bodyhair is gone so my own conclution may not give me the nobel price but I might be right.
By the way. I’m a blogbuddy from Sweden. I don’t know if you have many of us here but I sure hope so because your blog is very entertaining.
Take care XOXO
October 27, 2008 at 9:27 am
i love a few body hair, not the bushy type. hahaha…
October 27, 2008 at 10:05 am
well heres a little mishappen ,my hair on my head grows really slow so my mom said that i shoud take some kind of pills that let your hair grow faster, but i didn’t think that it will grow on all parts of your body and when i had taken the pills for about 2 or 3 weeks the bush started to gorw a little and i didn’t know what was happening and got a little scared so i went to the doctor and she told me it was the pills and i was like what and didn’t understand a thing but it took me a little while to figure things out and i was like oooooooooo when i got home XD buut i think body hair are not sexy when its like a whole forest down there its just turns me off sorry you hairy ppl
October 27, 2008 at 10:29 am
Davey,
Why would you feel it is in some way not right not to like body hair?
Your sentence:
“Through the various channels of influence in my life, I have created this idea that body hair is unappealing.”
is probably not that different from:
“Through the various channels of influence in my life, I have created this idea that female boobd are unappealing.”
though yet you will not conclude that you need to work on your aversion for the female doby.
isn’t that weird? Go for the smooth guys if that’s what you’re into. Don’t sencure yourself…
October 27, 2008 at 10:37 am
Someone has to ask! Don’t you have pubic hair Davey? Matural, trimmed or shaved
Some chest hair can be nice on a guy. Mine is! But I trim my bush real short and shave my ass crack and sac.
Do like smooth bodies though.
October 27, 2008 at 10:38 am
Natural, not matural!!
October 27, 2008 at 10:38 am
Ok, first off, blog buddies, please learn to spell and to phrase correctly. I don’t want to sound like an ass, but seriously, are these the comments we are leaving these days???
Secondly, Davey, smooth guys are hot. Some guys with the right amount of body hair are hot, and perception is reality. Stick to what you like, and enjoy it.
Much love!
Ciao – J
October 27, 2008 at 10:44 am
If that first comment was directed at me then anyone can press an adjacent key accidently otherwise nothing wrong with my spelling.
Forgot to say Davey – can’t stand facial hair!
October 27, 2008 at 11:30 am
Jared I agree with you entirely on your comment.
October 27, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Jared,
I never permit myself to reply to your comments
because you are always steady and your comments are always
friendly.
What’s really wrong these days with the comments?
bye,
October 27, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Jared..
Is this this the correct way to say f**k you?
“f**k You”
love
mike
October 27, 2008 at 4:18 pm
It’s how people talk. I work in retail and can’t understand a word anyone says anymore. I think language class is a thing of the past.
October 28, 2008 at 1:53 am
Skip,
We must always adapt to people and circumstances and not be too demanding and not exercise a kind intolerance with regard to the language level. We must always accept that people with whom we speak can be different from us. That’s the very first lesson I learned as I was a kid in the schoolyard.
bye and thanks for your kind reply
October 27, 2008 at 11:03 am
No offense Davy, but I am really worried about how much guys these days are so worried about body hair, on themselves or on others. What happened to get us to this place? Humans obviously still have it for a reason, cooling, protection, etc., and it’s being constantly removed these days.
I amazed at teenage boys in gym shaving their legs and bodies. I used to remember my friends welcomed it because that meant and we were happy to become men.
There’s nothing wrong with trimming, that is a given, but no hair and the obsession, it’s become a warped culture thing that i have no idea how it started. People were fine with their have back in the day.. you have to ask yourself.. what is the deal now? Guys try to look natural, no hair to me is just plain wrong. I hope this “trend” or “fad” goes away and we become less worried about it.
October 27, 2008 at 2:02 pm
That was spot on, Kirk. I think porn has a lot to do with reinforcing these smooth, peach-fuzz body types. I lay all this at the feet of Chi Chi LaRue. And, it comes down to the difference between men and boys. Davey always refers to ‘boys’ as opposed to men when he speaks of his attractions.
For gay men, the archetype of Michaelangelo’s “David” is understandably in the forefront. It is the gestalt for male beauty.
Give me the Hugh Jackman type, with hair in all the right places, today anyway. The great thing about guys is that there are all kinds hot.
October 27, 2008 at 5:52 pm
amen to hugh jackman, growl!
October 27, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Jimmy…
allow me to say that when I eat hole, I like to
shave it before hand.
thanks
Mike
October 27, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Facial hair is a turnoff for sure, that is a choice. Body hair is something you can’t help.
A Clean shaven face is the only way to be sexy, it just takes a razor!
October 27, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I guess I’m one of the few in here that likes body hair. I’m not gonna say that I don’t like hairless smooth people, but sometimes not having any hair in the chest, a treasure trail or hairy arms dissapoints me. I also think beards are sexy too and people with long hair also.
And it’s not very fun to have some hair between your teeth while you’re kissing someone, but I don’t think it is that bad either. You learn to lie with it. Women have long hair and I have never heard about men complaining.
I do agree that having a hairy butt is… eeeeh… mmm… not sexy in some ways. I’m very hairy muself, so I know.
October 27, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Hey, if that’s what you like, go for it, there are a lot of dudes with facial hair out there.
October 27, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Anyone that likes hair too?
I’m feeling alone here!
Some support would be nice!
Hehehe…
October 27, 2008 at 3:35 pm
You are not alone. I am amazed (like others) that there is such pre-occupation with body hair. I find a hairy chest an absolute turn-on. I don’t like apes, but a hairy man is a sexy man. And I don’t like men who trim. I like my men to be men…. And it’s hot!!!
October 27, 2008 at 3:59 pm
You mean growing wild and out of control…that’s just nasty!
January 11, 2009 at 1:48 pm
That is a matter of opinion so please you guys stop stating your OPINIONS as if they were just plain fact. I LOVE hair, the more the better. I love hairy red heads and I love hairy blondes and I love hairy brunettes. I love hairy chests and I love hairy armpits and I love hairy, furry, BUSHY crotches. I’m not so much turned on by hairy asses but that is my personal opinion.
One could just as easily make the sweeping statement that everyone who likes smooth, hairless guys is a secret pedophile. I am NOT making this statement, I’m just using it to illustrate the unfairness of bold blanket statements like some here. I personally find hairless men look like little boys to me and the idea of being sexually attracted to one is as abhorrent to me as being sexually attracted to 12 year old boys. That is only MY veiw and is thus only valid to ME.
Get it?
October 27, 2008 at 6:02 pm
I fully agree!
October 27, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I meant that I fully agree with tomkazoo’s comment that moderately hairy guys being an absolute turn on.
October 27, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I couldn’t agree with you more. I am not the hairiest person, but being that I am white (pale) and my hair is dark brown, it is not an attractive combination. For the last two and a half years now, I have been getting laser hair removal from the neck down… every last inch… and I love the look and feel of the new me.
As for on other guys… a little manscaping can go a long way. Everyone should at least trim their bush, natural is not a nice sight… or feel. Not to mention, trimming makes you appear bigger and who wouldn’t want that? haha
I will say this though… a little blonde fuzz on hot tan guy is very nice! Yum.
All for now. Nice post Davey!
October 27, 2008 at 3:33 pm
You’re so right. When I was 12 I saw a lot of guys with hairy legs and I was eager to have hair on my legs too. Trouble was : the guys I admired the hair on had a very dark skin tone so obviously it suited them well but white (pale) as I am, it does not suit me at all. And now that I have hairy legs, I have to shave them every 2 months approximately because otherwise the result is not a pretty sight, believe me. God finally gave me when I asked him for when I was young and I’m still not satisfied. It’s true what they say : be careful what you wish for, you might get it !
October 27, 2008 at 1:59 pm
so you have a smooth asshole? yum
October 27, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Eat more garlic. Garlic helps raise testosterone levels in the body which, in turn, helps grow more [body] hair.
OR – have whoever is too hairy cut down on the garlic (among other things) and it may reduce the amount of hair grown. That is purely a hypothesis.. but it may work.
October 27, 2008 at 2:15 pm
I have just enough short stiff hairs on my face after 3 or 4 days to have a stubble!
Men with hairs on chest and legs are to me a natural thing if… they don’t really look like gorillas and behave likewise with their wives or boyfriends!
bye,
October 27, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Do you have hairs on your toes? Most primates do! How about the little toes? And also UP THERE? I have a friend who has one hair on his head, at the very top.
October 27, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I agree with you. I’m actually getting much better with it myself. I use to be anti-hair period, but over time a little hair is ok (in the right locations)
I must say though, that facial hair…that scruffy look…is way hot!
October 27, 2008 at 4:27 pm
are you trying to tell us that Scotty Dynamo has a hairy ass?
October 27, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Wow, this is really revealing!
De gustibus non disputandum est! You cannot argue about taste.
But what forms your taste? If you only see hairless shaved bodies as attractive and you see hairy men as unattractive, you learned that response from the same folks who sell you your underarm deodorant, your fancy undies, your pricey mod haircuts, your condo furniture, your muscle-mary ethos, and your thirst for “spiritual” books sold by millionaires to the yearning masses.
GET REAL GIRL!
You are a consumer, one who sees glabre hairlessness as “hottt”. It’s just another form of autophobia, fear of who you are. And what of baldness? Warren Buffet, who owns Gillette, is laughing all the way to the bank. I really dislike the notion that manly hairiness is to be shunned because it’s not in style this season. It reminds us we are all mammals, those fuzzy, cuddly, warm blooded beasts who have smells and senses that makes the hair stand on end when aroused–that is unless you’ve shaved them all off.
Last observation: a shaved pubic zone looks like a dead chicken hanging between your legs…eeeuuuuuuw!
Be well,
October 27, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Well said!
October 27, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Greg, you took the words right out of my mouth.
I just hope you wrote your reply correctly or you
will be in trouble with the grammar taliban on this
site.
October 27, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Does it really matter if a guy has body hair or not?
If i like someone it’s not because he has, or has not got body hair, it’s because he is a nice person.
I am happy with what nature gave me, a healthy body and mind and hair where i need it.
I think you should be happy with what you have, and leave it as nature intended.
October 27, 2008 at 9:26 pm
I don’t mean to be preachy, but can you find any examples of classical art or sculpture (Ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome, Renaissance etc.) that depict hairy male bodies? Elaborate head hair, yes. Elaborate beards, yes — even pubic hair (sometimes). But torso, arms, legs, ass — are always smooth whether sculpted or painted — unless you are looking at a satyr or a minotaur. Elaborate razors have been found in Egyptian burial tombs (smoothness seemed a necessity even in the afterlife). The only examples of hairy males I can find are photographs (male “art” & physique) from the 1950s-80s. By the ’90s the dominant image was again the smooth male. We can’t blame it on porn unless we think of Michelangelo as creating porn, or that ancient depictions of Gilgamesh are porn. Have you ever seen sculpture or painting of a hairy Jesus? Whatever you believe about Jesus, it is unlikely, given his ethnic heritage, that he was completely smooth except for a full beard and his long hair. In one of the Dead Sea Scrolls, the sons of light are tall and smooth and the Sons of Darkness are short and hairy. The HBO series Rome was not making up the part about professional hair-pluckers at the Roman baths and in wealthy Roman homes – for males as well as females. My only point in this little rant is that the smooth male is not a product of modern-day porn or modern day Gillette campaigns: 3000 years of history are on the side of the smoothies and the shavers. That being said, I think we like what we like – in ourselves and others – some like hair (to varying degrees) some not – neither is more correct than the other.
October 27, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Point well taken.
October 27, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Davey, I prefer the smooth male with well coiffed hair on his head and trimmed pubic hair. I’ve been shaving for years for the esthetic reasons: the developed muscles that guys have worked so hard on really show themselves without the hair covering, and I don;t have to sweep it up in the corners at home when cleaning the apartment, well not as much! It also looks great and turns me on but to each his own. Variety is the spice of life as it is said, so if we were all the same as if coming out of the same mold, this would be an awfully dull world, don’t you think?
October 28, 2008 at 12:32 am
i am one of the few on this topic that doesn’t mind hair. doesn’t have to be all caveman-like where you can french braid it. but some and/or trimmed is hot. on a hot, tall, masculine guy.
love facial hair, the 5 o’clock shadow, hair on a nice set of legs and thighs, some on the arms, on the chest and stomach of a well built guy. the treasure trail. and even some hair in the crack and on the cheeks, i am ok with.
i don’t like shaved…especially when you feel how prickly it is after a couple days, and the razor burn. total turn off. and having no hair reminds me of when i was 12 and didn’t hit puberty yet. and a guy that shaves his legs and armpits…no thanks. the picture of the act is nauseating (kidding).
October 28, 2008 at 2:47 am
A little bit of advice because I love you.
Learning to “accept” something as positive when you FEEL negative about it is just plain false. You can train yourself to like something mentally that you previously disliked, yes, but why bother?
Rather, seek to overcome your attachment to the physical aspects of being for pleasure, and go instead to the higher plane of spirit and love. You will soon see how easy it is to embrace that hairy body and feel beauty.
October 28, 2008 at 4:07 pm
You’re lucky to be hairless, Davey.
October 28, 2008 at 5:37 pm
yo,..i commend you for striving to deal with this problem davey. As i also do admire hairless asses and or bodies, i can’t help the fact that i am one who suffers with a hairy body. but, i am trying to do something about it. i have shaved but laser hair removal is looking good right now…what do u think about that davey?
October 28, 2008 at 6:25 pm
David, rejoice in your natural smoothness! It is a blessing. You are so lucky to be hairless Davey!
October 29, 2008 at 12:34 am
Davey,
The hair topic is an interesting one, i have to say my boyfriend is of Italian/American heritage so he is slightly too hairy in certain places – So i have interduced him to Veet hair removal cream – I love his chest hair but i can honestly live with out the other places and i can i say he is now the same way – he keeps the chest hair because i have to admitt that i like running my fingers throught it and it is a bit of a turn on, but i am so glad that he likes to be hair less everywhere else. I have never been a hairy person my self but i do have this little bit on my chest which gets shaved off as it looks ridiculous and of coarse the crack, i was so glad when i found veet it has now become my best friend and i am very fond of it.
Here’s to no hair,
Marty x
October 29, 2008 at 11:08 am
From one hairless man to another. Hair sucks.
October 31, 2008 at 1:25 am
You’re definitely not alone. These days, both women and men often shave off all their body hair, including pubes, and I’ve heard comments from young people that make me think any body hair is considered disgusting. Earlier comments about advertising/marketing being the current source of this are probably right. Of course, when we talk about body hair, we’re mostly talking about people whose ancestry lies in the India-to-Europe area, as they’re the ones with the greatest tendency to grow thick facial and body hair. East Asians, sub-Saharan Africans, indigenous Australians, just about every other group except Japan’s Ainu, are more like you, Dave, and don’t have to worry about excessive hair growth.
As someone who’s had an extremely hairy body since he was a teenager but who has no interest in the hair fetishism associated with gay “bears”, I just keep covered up to avoid startled comments and stares. I don’t want to waste time shaving it all off, since it would mean literally shaving my entire body except my soles and palms; plus, shaving bumps and other skin problems would follow. So, I just don’t wear shorts or short-sleeve shirts. Ever. Haven’t worn them since I was a teenager, and I’m well into middle age so that’s a long time. I don’t get in intimate relationships so no one is ever bothered by it. If I did, though, I guess I’d have to shave, but I can’t imagine doing it. The worst thing about it is that I leave a trail of hair wherever I go, little hairs everywhere, even though I’m fully covered with clothes and very clean. That’s another potentially disgusting aspect of being hairy, but there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s a good thing I don’t work in food service.
One odd thing to think about is that no other animal cuts their hair off the way we cut the hair on our head. Nor does any other animal attempt to remove all hair or feathers from their bodies the way we do. I mean, really, by shaving and cutting our hair, we make ourselves look a way we don’t really look, even though we think by shaving our faces we’re revealing what our faces really look like. Do we also think that yaks and other long-haired animals are concealing the way they look under their long hair? (And, yes, I do have my hair cut and I shave my face. I also bathe regularly. I’m just musing here on the uniqueness of human behavior.)
November 1, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I don’t mind body hair, unless it’s in the back!
I prefer smooth skin… unless is hair in a guy like Roman Ragazzi’s… I don’t care he’s hairy haha
November 3, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I actually find chest hair quite sexy. I am a young 23 year old guy, but nothing says masculine and manly like nicely groomed chest hair and a scruffy face. Yum!
November 4, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Little facial hair turn me on. Of course, feeling hair in my mouth make me feel sick, so belly, pubic and back must be smooth.
November 22, 2008 at 5:38 pm
im confused lol sum hair is ok but not too much
December 4, 2008 at 2:36 am
As I read through all of these comments, I began to feel smaller and smaller and smaller and more and more ostrasized!! I’ve been hairy most of my adult life so much so that I won’t go swimming or take my shirt off where other people are around. Because of comments like the ones above, I even have trouble seeking a sex partner because of the “ewwwwwww” I might hear. It’s people like you who have zero tolerance for a man with a hairy that make life for people like me miserable. I’m comfortable with who I am and what I look like, but it seems that a good portion of the population, especially gay men, are not! this makes me sad.
January 9, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Will, you are not alone. Many guys are interested in you! You are just writing in the wrong place. There’s nothing wrong with a full set of hair. It’s natural, it’s masculine, it’s sexy. Just find your own!
January 30, 2009 at 1:11 pm
i love body hair it turns me on!!!!!!!!
i think that guys with body hair r sexxy!!
davey u should b more open minded.
February 1, 2009 at 11:54 pm
honestly, a hairy chest is prety hot, but i personally rid myself of all body hair, except my head and eybrows and eylashes of course.
August 5, 2010 at 8:01 pm
Frankly, I love a man with body hair, as long as he is well groomed and not a Sasquatch or bear. My first crush on another man was actor Robert Conrad of the original “Wild Wild West” TV show. Whenever he went shirtless in the show I couldn’t stop looking at him.
Don’t get me wrong, body hair can go too far. I love a clean shaven man. I hate an excessive beard and/or mustache. Totally clean shaven is best and a five o’clock shadow can be sexy. Modest chest and abdominal hair id super sexy and a modest pubic bush too, but a 30 year old man shaving his body until he looks like a 13 or 14 yr old is not that attractive. Proper grooming is what is sexy. Clean, lean and mean!
August 5, 2010 at 8:06 pm
I love a man with a gymnast build. Think “Tommy D” and “Mario Lopez”. They are naturally smooth or well groomed body hair. Both are super sexy. But I still love a modestly hairy chest and abs and pubic zone. Hairy thighs and legs, especially muscular legs, are super hot and sexy as well.
August 5, 2010 at 8:11 pm
Let’s not forget, some men are excessively hairy and have to manshave or no one will sleep with them. I mean, I wouldn’t want to sleep with my shag rug. I pity these guys. Back hair as thick as a fur coat. Chest hair like a shag rug. They need waxing and shaving just to get a date! Please fellas, shave off or severely trim those 19th century mustaches and beards. It’s the 21st century! Look attractive for the rest of us and do yourself a favor in the process.
August 9, 2010 at 8:15 pm
Body hair is good, especially chest hair and tummy hair. It’s a sign that the guy definitely has some testosterone.
If God didn’t give you any, regardless of your testosterone level, no problem, but those of us who have an endowment of this nature should never ever shave it off.
As far as ancient history is concerned, sculpting individual hairs would be a tremendous amount of work, for no remuneration. So I don’t think that one can conclude very much based on the absence of body hair from ancient sculpture. Likewise, painting body hair (or even the hair of a beard) right was almost impossible until Albrecht Duerer come along (15th c.), and again artists had no incentive to devote the time necessary to give justice to a depiction of hair. God does the “painting” on the live man, and it can be glorious.