I’ve said it before: Happiness isn’t a destination.
I don’t think anyone arrives at happiness. Instead, we can do our best to increase our level of happiness. The idea isn’t to be happy, but instead, to be happier.
My formula for creating a happier life is simple. Do what you love while contributing to society. In other worlds, tap into your passions in such a way that you’re able to help others. It’s a good place to start.
Nonetheless, I’ve discovered something surprising. In a small sampling of friends and family, few people self-identify as “happy”. Instead, most people fall somewhere around “content” or “somewhat miserable”.
And so I ask you, “Are you happy?” Please answer by participating in the survey below:
More to follow…
April 23, 2009 at 5:57 pm
I don’t want to brag, but the other day I met an American, yes a real one. I shouldn’t use his real name so we’ll call him Brad. No wait, that’s too stereotypical, let’s call him Buddy.
Anyway, the reason I mention this is that within three minutes of meeting me Buddy had asked me how much money I earn:
Buddy: “What do you do?”
Me: “I’m a writer/manager of production”
Buddy: “Who do you work for?”
Me: “Various people”
Buddy: “How much do you make?”
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more English. I mean, you don’t ask a chap another chap how much a chap makes. The problem was I couldn’t think of any reason why I was so reluctant to tell him. All he wanted was a handy way to place me, what was wrong with that. After all wouldn’t the world be a better place if we could ask each other whatever we liked without offence:
How much do you earn?
What do you weigh?
Are you loved?
Who will miss you when you die?
Everyone says they hate small talk so why not abolish it and replace it with massive talk?
How much someone you have just met earns is one of the things that the game of polite conversation is designed to help you try and work out. Like ‘how much sex are you getting?’ and ‘are you happy?’
You can’t just ask those questions not because it’s vulgar, but because it’s too easy. You have to form these opinions yourself, you can’t cut to the chase, drawing your own conclusions is the chase.
And on the other side we all have the right to present ourselves as we wish to be perceived, and the convention of not asking that particular question allows us to represent ourselves as worth more, or indeed less then the bold fact of what the market will bear! Because the subtext behind the question was:
“Look, I don’t have time to make a judgment of my own, give me the bottom line, what has it been decided that you are worth?” And therefore when boiled down, are you any good? And you shouldn’t have to answer that just because someone has asked you.
April 24, 2009 at 11:46 am
Well, I don’t think that small talk is something bad… in fact , ath least in my opinion,it is something really great, the art about it is to sow some interest in the other person without offending him or her… this for sure
is something quite difficult especially if you’re talking
to someone from a (slightly) different culture. For example here in Switzerland it is considered as extremely rude to ask someone about his salary even if it is a good friend of yours… maybe we don’t judge in our country people that much by what they make… but on the other hand… talking to your boss about your own salary seems extremely difficult to Swiss guys because the don’t even know what others in similar positionsin the very same company make…
April 24, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I am not sure I am stereotypical?
I would be extremely put off by Buddy’s lack of tact. To me his questions were extremely way out of line! Even for us RUDE AMERICANS!
Where did you find that guy?
Proud to be a BRAD!
-Brad
April 23, 2009 at 6:54 pm
I haven’t been this happy since I was at university.
April 23, 2009 at 9:02 pm
LMFAO!!! This made me smile today.
April 23, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Even though there’s times I can feel really bad, even for long periods of time, I am really happy. The things that make me happy last much longer that the things taht make me sad.
And I have too many reasons to be happy!
My boyfriend, my family, my friends, all the great experiences I’ve been through, all the people that have told me their stories and more.
April 23, 2009 at 7:48 pm
I can’t imagine being happier than I am right now. Well, I can…but that’s for the future.
April 23, 2009 at 9:08 pm
I realized a while back that happiness is a context for life and not a consequence of circumstances. Who I am, every day, is “I am happy.” That is the context for my life. Whether I’m worried, stressed, pissed off or whatever – anything that is the effect of an outside force – the underlying context of my life is “I am happy.” And all those other things somehow fit inside of that. When you have everything in your life fitting into the context you declare for yourself, you can have life be anything you want it to be and nothing – no person, no event, no happening, no circumstance – can cause that to go away. It is as much a part of you as being human, at that point. And it’s awesome.
April 23, 2009 at 9:42 pm
I am student always unhappy about techer and the cause text and exam very unhappy f**k i hate anything
April 23, 2009 at 10:11 pm
I have sometime is happy, but not think has happiness.
April 24, 2009 at 6:13 am
In the morning, when I wake up, I have this feeling that I’m happy.
Yeah, I think I always had this feeling inside but it’s true I can also be affected by external events.
Thereby, I could say I’m naturally happy but when each day I hear or see what’s going on around me, I feel uneasy almost unhappy: unemployment, poverty, etc…
Then, what to do?
I have no difficulties to convince myself that I’m not responsible for these events. It doesn’t mean that I don’t help others when I can ; I really do!
Moreover, I always find numerous reasons to be content of my day. At last, the most important thing to me is to always try to choose the best environment to preserve me from sadness.
bye,
April 24, 2009 at 6:15 am
Yes!!!!! I ‘m very very happy!!! Life is great!!!
April 24, 2009 at 6:20 am
i’m unhappy for i am trying to find out the deepest meaning of success =(
im getting close to: success is = to non contentment.
=(
April 24, 2009 at 6:54 am
I will be happier when I am finished my 16 hour workday today… but then again, I am happy I have a job too. I wonder if the fox tearing my garbage bags apart outside my home is happy that he/she is pissing me off? Well I have to scare her away and head off to work. Be happy today and share it.
April 24, 2009 at 6:56 am
Happiness is definitely a journey. Take each thing as you encounter it and ask yourself, “What can I learn from this and how can it benefit others?” If you get into this habit, you will find yourself a much happier person much more often. — Paul
April 24, 2009 at 7:20 am
As Lao-Tzu said: “There is no way to happiness, rather, happiness is the way.”
April 24, 2009 at 10:45 am
Or to put it another way, the journey is the reward.
April 24, 2009 at 8:10 am
Every morning when I wake up I have a choice, and my choice is to be happy. Happy for what I have accomplished and for what the day will bring.
April 24, 2009 at 8:12 am
Davey Wavey…It makes me happy to turn on the computer to your website..and still see your talky blog with your smile..still waving your hands with a future of some day still seeing your buns..The pic of you the other day in purple jockey shorts was a step in the right direction….
Love “your” David
April 24, 2009 at 10:29 am
Hey Davey,
U know I was thinking about your topic and I don’t think it’s bad is most of people consider themself as content. Let me explain.
I think it’s all about perception rather than reality. As content is the middle rate, it’s the easier one to answer right. It’s like a spontaneous answer I would say.
Because our day is kinda mix with happy, content and unhappy moment, it’s like an average. So rather than thinking about what people have that makes them happy, they think of what else they would need to be more happy. But we never have enough and as soon as we get what we thought would make us happy, we find a different need.
So I think most people are actually happy but don’t realise it. It just depends of what your perception of happy is.
For example, you can feel really happy when you get a promotion, or when you just met this new so awesome guy, or when you just went shopping and you bought this sooo nice pair of shoes you have been looking in the window forever but couldnt afford before. When this happen you feel deeply happy because you got something you deeply desired. But then time goes by and you don’t feel this deep feeling anymore and you dont feel it all day everyday so you consider yourself only as content when you actually have what you wanted and what you desired but now there’s just more you want.
Don’t you think this make any senses? That people just don’t realise how happy they are because they don’t think of what they have but what they don’t?
April 24, 2009 at 12:35 pm
i have finally reach my full happiness and im ready for a relationship
thanks davey for your help
thanks to my friends
im ready for the world
it better be ready for me
April 24, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Better managing a bit of misery than live with plastic happiness and false smiles.
Worse still to be an ignorant git who is just a spolit child of Capitalism and Freedom.
Happiness without caring for others is s***.
April 24, 2009 at 4:26 pm
I am always a happy person and I never think about it when troubles come my way i have various ways to deal with them usually putting them into context of my general happiness of life and the troubles lose their power over me. i never have to strive for happiness. Yesterday was a little bumpy i am due to soon start treatment agains my Drs wishes for Hep. C because of the serious side effects. Then I found out that I had been expelled from my internet Hep C support group suspiciously soon after i came out to them although they swear that my sexuality has nothing to do with my ex pul sions and some of their best friends are gay etc. etc… but a member of the group came to my aid and invited me to join a forum that she has that is made up of people who are going through treatment or have gone through treatment which will be better than the group that I was involved in anyway so now i’m on an even keel again. i feel especially happy cause my new boyfriend who lives in Mexico city has been away from his computer for a couple of days will be home today so i am expecting a big email from him and he’s really dreamy and i feel like i’m 16 years old again. he’s only 39 but we look the same age it is so nice when a pair look good together. when i date guys my own age it looks like i’m dating my grandfather. I wonder if My mother had a portrait done of me and it is stashed in the attic.
April 24, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I am way happier since I met Davey Wavey!
I love you Davey!
joey
April 26, 2009 at 2:19 am
happiness is relative.
as human beings, we tend to set our standards always a notch higher than our current state of bliss. i guess no one can really say he is completely happy because it’s in our nature to want more than what we already have.
April 26, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I can’t that I’m happy I can only to say that I’m satisfied with my life right now.
April 27, 2009 at 10:00 pm
“happiness is a warm gun…” I hope that everyone really knows what that song is about. I just returned from a 5 day trip across the southwest, touring with an amazing band. I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been.
Ciao!
July 29, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Im very happy. I love life, people, animals, everything really. I am almost always a happy person. However, some things can bring me down but there is no reason that i cant be happy and enjoy life!