I just learned something interesting last night: I’m a virgin. And you might be, too.
In a definition that makes makes me blush, Princeton characterizes sexual intercourse as “the act of sexual procreation between a man and a woman; the man’s penis is inserted into the woman’s vagina and excited until orgasm and ejaculation occur.”
Having never inserted my penis into a woman’s vagina (let alone being “excited” enough to ejaculate inside one), I’m left wondering: Am I a virgin?
When I was at university, one of the female cheerleaders on my team (yes, I was a cheerleader) was determined to remain a virgin until marriage. Her boyfriend wasn’t so determined; and as a compromise, they resorted to anal. She felt that her purity was preserved by having her boyfriend pound her ass. But if she was a virgin, then so wasn’t I?
But really, who cares about the definition in a book or what some cheerleader might think? In this instance, I do. I care because I’m mindful of the legal implications of the mentality that gay relationship aren’t real. For many of us, this mentality is reinforced at the state and federal levels by the ineligibility of gays to marry, adopt children, serve in the military, etc. The more our relationships, our love or our sex are seen as unreal, the easier it is for people to perpetuate discrimination against us.
On the flip side, if I ever am legally allowed to marry, I guess this means I can wear white.
June 26, 2010 at 2:01 pm
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June 26, 2010 at 2:32 pm
How anyone can take the Princeton definition seriously is beyond me. Is a woman who has sex involving the use of condoms or other protection (clearly it is not for the purpose of procreation) had sexual intercourse or not ? Is she a virgin or not ? Has she had sexual intercouse if the male has not ejaculated ? What is her status if she does not have an orgasm ? If she can not have an orgasm, will she always be a virgin ?
If the Princeton definition is taken as comprehensive, it leads one to some pretty ridiculous conclusions. Consequently any inferences made based on that definition are equally flawed.
June 26, 2010 at 4:47 pm
This might sound weird, but I think that there are more ways then just one to define virginity. It is the physical definition (to insert the… uh, yeah), and then there’s how you feel; the mental definition. For example, if I (being a woman/girl/whatever) would have sex with another woman I’d say I am no longer a virgin, but I know plenty of people that would disagree, and I would let them because it is their point of view and how they see it.
June 26, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Let us not forget…that here in Iowa, us gays can marry. And believe me, it’s quite popular!
June 26, 2010 at 6:39 pm
Nope. Will answer you directly, if I answer.
June 26, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Thanks Davey, you made my day. Now I can tell my boyfriend that in spite all that we’ve tried, I’m still a virgin. He’ll love to hear that… and will probably try again. THANKS!
June 26, 2010 at 7:40 pm
I hope you take care of that before you die, otherwise you might end up some Jihadist’s bitch in the afterlife. And won’t he be surprised!
June 27, 2010 at 1:01 am
Marriage is a legal contract, and as such, all parties must be able to give full and informed consent, which takes care of chickens, cars and dogs. Incest is a result of a seriously f****d up power differential, and can be effectively argued against, depending on when the relationship became sexualized. (Incest almost always begins when the victim is a child, making it sexual assault and rape, since a child cannot consent to sexual activity.) That sorts out grandparents, sisters, children. Polygamy, as practiced by most cultures for the last couple thousand years, is seldom a meeting of equals, which is what we understand marriage to be today, regardless of the genitalia of the individuals involved. It’s almost always a man marrying multiple women, each of whom are of lesser status, legally, than the husband.
Marriage has been “redefined” a lot over the course of human civilization. This newest “definition” is just new facet of an old story. Same-sex marriage is an inevitability. It’s really just a matter of time.
June 27, 2010 at 3:50 am
If gay marriage is allowed all other sexual love must also be permitted is my point. Or it would be a “civil rights” issue. It’s some homosexuals that want the definition of marriage changed but why stop there why not include all other forms marriage. Death is the only thing inevitable.
June 27, 2010 at 9:38 am
Well, one definition of “virgin” that had some currency in the 1960s (or was it the 1970s?) is that until all orifices of the body that can accomodate an erect c**k have been used for coitus, one still is a virgin, partially, at least.
June 28, 2010 at 5:45 pm
thats very true-the u.s.a.-isnt the end all of the world-the u.s.-isnt setting land speed records-in securing equality.one should be reminded-there are too many republican conservative red-necks that want to take basic human rights away from us.if you dont think that extremism is dead-what happened in Nazi-Germany-in the 1930s and 1940s-can happen in U.S.A.history sometimes has a way of repeating itself.i hope i am wrong.
June 29, 2010 at 11:31 am
Wow…..the troll…who has nothing better to do than spend his time on a gay related website…
Doth protest too much….Come out already—you are half way there. And maybe not a lollipop up your ass, but I bet when you jerk it you shove a finger up there—or maybe even a cross Linda Blair
June 30, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Cliff: Davide is “NOT” a troll!!! He’s one of Davey Wavey’s-and-ours, “most-beloved” Blogbuddy. So “Take your name-calling somewhere-else
!!” . . . _ _ _ davvi
July 13, 2010 at 2:46 am
in the immortal words of Foamy the squirrel “its like taking your ((whatever)) and ramming them in the ass not necessarily broken but damaged goods.”
July 15, 2010 at 8:57 pm
I joke with my friends who are girls that Im a virgin. But being a gay man, I believe Im not. I just dont understand who much time you all spent on this subject? Seriously.
Secondly, I come from a broken home as many of us do and I dont think the definition of good or perfect parenting comes from a man and woman relationship as parents. My father was an asshole and my mom worked 2 jobs for 4 kids and we had to take care of each other and all turned out just fine and still have deep family values, so, What?
And if you wish to be an english major and point out any misspelled grammer in my statement well find something better to do.
But really, there are much bigger issues to discuss than weather or not your a virgin and the definition there of.
November 15, 2010 at 2:14 am
Im confused, not sure if im a virgin or not, i did have sex with a woman but i didnt ejaculate “inside” cause she got me ” bored” a few minutes after i started the ” action” so i never “came”, no thank you to my ex GF, made me realized im almost totally GAY! thanks to her this world have me as a reproductive gay guy in no use LoL.
March 31, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Bottom line is Marriage is (as I have been taught) something that is sanction by god and the church. If that is the universal belief then the courts nor Congress should be deciding this. There is a clear separation of Church and State spelled out in the Constitution. Having said that if a Church refuse’s to marry same-sex couples then that is there choice. But, government should not be legislating marriage, and that goes for all the privileges afforded to married couples (i.e. tax breaks, etc.) But, if they are going to offer them then they should be offered to ever married couple; which means you can not tell one group of people you can not partake of these privileges because we refuse to recognize you marriage. I got off track a little bit, but you get the gist.
April 1, 2011 at 5:16 pm
You aren’t British. Why do you say “When I was at university…”?