Yesterday’s wedding was beautiful. There is nothing that ignites my inner-romantic more than seeing two people so madly in love. My cousin and her now-husband were adorable – very shy and a little embarrassed by all the attention. It was all very sweet, and I’ll spend a good portion of today making them a YouTube video of the experience (part of my wedding gift to them).
It was also the first time in many years that I sat through a Catholic mass, as the ceremony was held in a Providence, Rhode Island church. Though I was raised Catholic, the service really didn’t resonate with me and what I hold to be true. This really didn’t come as a surprise to me. It seems illogical to find any organized religion that would mirror my beliefs exactly. Instead, I find it much more advantageous to pursue my own path in the great Cathedral of this universe.
Unlike my father, I don’t hold a grudge against the Catholic Church. I challenge myself to find those kernels of truth and love buried in Catholic teachings, just as I’d do with any other religion. My dad – not so much. Years ago, back when I was in university, the Catholic Church’s pedophilia scandal was in the spotlight. Countless allegations were flying – and the Church needed to announce some plan to eliminate the pedophile priests. Their plan was a gay “witch hunt” of sorts, interviewing priests-t0-be (i.e., the seminarians) to identify and eliminate the gay ones.
Church leaders are not stupid. They knew what they were doing. Society has long-since linked gay men to pedophilia, a stereotype that social science has entirely disproved. Nonetheless, the Church used this stereotype to their advantage by throwing gay men under the bus (ironically, so many Church leaders are gay themselves); I don’t think my dad will ever forgive the Church.
I don’t have enough time, energy or desire to sustain such grudges, but I do understand my dad’s discomfort. I find much greater power in growing that which I do support rather than resisting that which I do not. I’m not anti-Catholic so much as I am pro-love, pro-peace and pro-unity. And pro-dick, too.
August 31, 2010 at 8:10 pm
LOL. I have to borrow this for my blog. Thanks for sharing…
August 31, 2010 at 8:33 pm
Agree 100% with you MM. Can’t wait to see it there.
August 31, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Hey Peter,
I would prefer not to agree with you but that “other” side of me says, “listen to Peter” for at least one second before positioning yourself.
I’ve spent a lifetime trying to and somewhat succeeding escaping from the Church.
Understanding vs. Faith is an interesting topic. So many had faith that the Titanic was unsinkable. What good did faith do them (the ones that drowned)?
Today I realized that about the same time I bought into Santa Claus I also bought into a God. Are they related? They look so much alike and they seemed about the same age? hmmmmmm! If I had to give up believing in one it might have been more progressive believing in Santa……….
Thanks for your feedback.
September 1, 2010 at 8:16 am
Hi Davey Wavey,
I am gay. I used to be a seminarian studying to be a priest. 99% of what you say on your blog is inspiring and uplifting, but what you said about seminaries weeding out gay seminarians in a witch hunt just isnt true. I was there. It was a beautiful time and I thank God for it. Many of your “facts” about the Church arent quite right…
September 1, 2010 at 9:04 am
Greg,
About seminaries:
Back in the mid to late 1990s I was VERY active in the Boston, MA/New England area establishing a clergy abuse support network and hearing from victims all over the country with similar issues. The victims were a 60% male/40% female split. A few were former seminarians.
Up until 2001 the media, in the Catholic northeast, was very shy about reporting allegations about pedophile priests but when the New York Times purchased the Boston Globe around 2000 the floodgates opened on this subject.
The Church’s first counter attack was to blame the problem on the gay seminarians and the dropping of certain standards for the priesthood.
We were always one step ahead of the Church and felt that this action was just trying to throw the scent off. Our public response was to question why so many girls were also abused.
As the clergy abuse scandal became more public throughout the country and now the world the Church has blamed everything/everyone but themselves.
We have heard numerous stories about the very active gay activities in seminaries but maybe that is the exception. Most of these stories are from former seminarians who did not feel comfortable in that atmosphere (gay and str8).
One story was from a former seminarian who got kicked out of a seminary in Rhode Island the day after he refused to give our current bishop (a boyfriend of a monsignor) a b******b on Holy Thursday. I guess you never say no to a budding bishop even if your mouth is full.
One thing for sure is the fact that many of these seminaries sheltered pedophile priests from law officials until they could be secretly transferred to seminaries in other areas of the country/world. These seemingly holy places were used much like an underground railroad system. Here in New England many of these priests ended up in Texas but now they are being located in the Phillipines working for the missions in remote areas.
September 1, 2010 at 11:22 am
You are welcome!
September 2, 2010 at 7:20 am
OMG….does Davide never stop? I hate to burst your bubble Davide, but YES, you can be anti-catholic without being “anti-Jesus”. You don’t seem to understand that the Catholic faith is a minority of the population on this planet. Many religions do not accept the existence of “Jesus”, per se. Are you saying that because I may follow Buddah that I am “anti-Jesus”? That’s just stupid. How could I be “anti-” anything, if I don’t believe in its existence in the first place?? Get a grip boy.
September 2, 2010 at 7:24 am
Davide, the way you follow your religion and faith is a sickness. In the catholic church, it’s the blind leading the blind. You are obfiously not mature enough to understand that those who may have different beliefs from you are not automatically wrong, “sinners”, blah, blah, blah. Self-righteousness is a sin also. Have you ever considered that?
September 2, 2010 at 8:07 am
No matter how you say it, Gays ARE victims of the Catholic Church (among other churches). Davide just doesn’t get it. He has been so brain-washed that he is incapable of forming an individual thought of his own. He sounds like a press-release from the vatican. You say that abuse of gays is unacceptable, yet you tolerate abuse toward gays by the Catholic Church. When will Davide learn that his ‘self-righteousness’ is NOT a virtue? He is supporting a church that does NOT support him or any other gay person. I wonder, does he live a life of celibacy as instructed by his church? He insults D.W. by suggesting Davey hones his blogs to stir up controversy (for profit). D.W. does NOT have anti-Catholic hatred, nor any other hatred. I think most anyone who has lived under the Cath. churches thumb would have serious issues witht the church. Davide, where is YOUR love and peace? And I’m totally unsrprised you ‘don’t get it’. There’s a LOT you don’t get.
September 2, 2010 at 8:26 am
Davide continues his defense of the Catholic Church and it’s protection of child molester’s. He also continues to reinforce the churches allegations that all the sexual molestation was done by gay priests. Of course, the church has an agenda to dump blame on the gay priests, rather than accept the responsibility for their horrendous actions. Davide is a ‘self-appointed’ expert on every molestation case that occurred, worldwide. But, the truth is, Davide is so buried in self-hatred over his homosexuality that he continues to promote the negative stereotypes about gays that all homophobes do. Nothing D.W. said in his blog (or in ANY of his blogs I have ever read) could be considered inaccurate or in any way dishonest. The facts, maam, just the facts.
September 2, 2010 at 8:44 am
Lord Almighty! Davide is even a better authority on the church than a Trappist Monk, who lives this crap every day, all day. This guys ego just doesn’t stop!
I think Davide may be right about one thing (gasp), the Catholic Church probably won’t change and it will continue to lose masssive amounts of it’s membership, as it’s been doing for the past 20+ years. The ‘other’ major crisis in the church is it’s continuing loss of membership in the young. Parishioners in their 30′s & 40′s (and their families) are becoming a rare commodity at Sunday mass, at least in the U.S. Maybe the catholic church will eventually become extinct in the states. That might be a blessing. One less ‘hate-factory’ to turn out new homophobes. Maybe the church will purify to the point that the only members will be the heirarchy itself? Again, Davide is illustrating the homophobia of the Catholic Church. He does it repeatedly, then denies that it is homophobic. Does Davide realize how many of the church officials are gay? In my town, the archbishop was even gay. Poor Davide doesn’t have a clue. Maybe we should pity him. I wonder if he tries to force his religious views down everyones throat out in public? If so, it’s a good thing he has a close family, because he certainly couldn’t have many friends.
September 2, 2010 at 9:14 am
Davide, you do not recognize that it is YOU who displays a reprehensibly condescending attitude towards anyone who has different opinions or beliefs than you do. You are the one who initiates the ‘name calling’ And if this site is such “filth”, what’s a fine catholic boy like yourself doing here?
September 2, 2010 at 9:23 am
Bullshit, Davide. The Catholic Church preaches homophobia and violence against gay people. I’m not stupid. I know what the church teaches regarding gays. If that isn’t homophobia, I’d love to know what your definition would be. The Catholic Church has NO USE for gays. Only to dump blame for the child-molestations. Put blame on the gays to cover for their own horrendous actions, covering-up for pedophiles for years and year. I simply don’t believe any self-loving gay person can remain in a church that teaches such hateful dogma.
September 2, 2010 at 9:25 am
Great comment, Russell!
September 2, 2010 at 9:31 am
I hate to break it to you Davide, but he pope is just another human being like me and you. He doesn’t know anything more than anyone else. You and some other catholics have turned him into a ‘brass idol’ to be worshiped, as though he were God him/herself. The curch IS the people in it. Not the heirarchy.
September 2, 2010 at 9:32 am
For very justifiable reasons and for a number of years, whenever I went by a Catholic Church I used to give it the finger and yell out (if I was by myself)”f**k-you Jesus!!!!”
There was a side of me that felt liberated by that act until I began to think that the Church still had me by the balls enough to warrant such a response.
It saddens me to think that despite one’s perspective on this blog I think the Church has us all by the balls enough to warrant our responses.
September 2, 2010 at 10:53 am
Dave,
Very true. We sometimes get caught up in our pain, anger, and fights for resolution we forget the solution almost always lies with us.
We can release anger and pain and go on with our lives. That will bring resolution. If we continue to hold on it it like a worm in an apple, eventually it will eat everything it has available.
Peace to you,
T
September 2, 2010 at 10:57 am
As another has said here “We, the people, are the Church; not the hierarchy.” So we, the people, are seeking the truth by asking questions and discerning a different future. I have had dialogue with several friends in the clergy in the past months and have asked the question “What do you believe is the future of the Catholic Church?” The answer is that none of us know. It may be smaller and hang on to the conservatives. Religous orders are already showing signs with changes in mission as their numbers diminish. They are experimenting with alternative communities and focused less on education and more on humanitarian projects.
But then there might be hope for a more enlightened future pope to make dramatic change and lead us to what it is some of us dream of: a united church that shows greater tolerance and desire for unity. We can only hope. And pray.
September 4, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Sadly, Davide, any battle with you on this issue is worthless as you are close-minded. And don’t question my faith. It is mine and my beliefs are as strong as yours.
Another thing: I am not alonein my beliefs. Most Americans including the clergy and religous believe the way I do. I know because I’ve had and continue to have this conversation with many of them. I’ve worked for a bishop who was way ahead of the pack 30 years ago. I grew up in an archdiocese that was very progressive. It’s only the recent popes who have torn apart Vatican II and what John XXIII intended. The pendulum has swung – too far to the right – and will return to a point of balance. But only God knows when.
October 24, 2010 at 2:46 pm
what is a pro-dick anyway? sorry i dont know the meaning of this. thanks
December 1, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Schön ist meine kleine Welt,
October 9, 2011 at 7:47 pm
real life nonce
October 9, 2011 at 7:48 pm
http://safeandwell.wordpress.com/