In a few short months, my body will be turning 27. I, of course, am eternal – but this human vessel is subject to the sands and hands of time.
When someone turns 40, people often remind them that they’ve gone “over the hill“. The saying implies that we peak in our thirties, and that it’s only downhill thereafter.
The other day, I was told that the gay hill is age 21. In other words, as far as the gay community is concerned, it’s all downhill (at least, in a physical sense) after the age of 21. What!?
On a completely shallow level, I’d take a 35 year-old over a 21 year-old almost any day. There are few things more delicious or than a matured, juicy 35 year-old. Ryan Sheckler, being a notable exception.
On a less shallow level, this notion of “hills” is all a bit silly. The idea that youth somehow trumps age is misguided at best. In my universe, each stage of life is worth celebrating. While our physical form may be in its competitive prime during our younger years, this certainly doesn’t make that stage innately “better” than any other. Faster and stronger, yes – but better? No.
To put youth on pedestal is great. But all other life stages should be equally celebrated.
As such, my lifeline isn’t one big hill so much as it’s a constant parade. Cheesiness aside, each step of the journey is worthy of fanfare and exuberance. And that includes when my tits sag, my hair grays and my toenails turn yellow. It’s all beautiful, even if mainstream society doesn’t agree.
I think it’s time to show a little love for the aging process. What do you think?
May 1, 2010 at 11:16 am
Anyone here remember the comedienne, Moms Mabley? Here’s a quick sample to refresh your memory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLg1QzdAdLo&feature=related
In a gravelly voice (from a lifetime of smoking), she once said…
“The only thing a OLD MAN can do for me is carry a message to a YOUNG MAN!”
May 1, 2010 at 11:17 am
@ nearly 27 + 27 + 18, I can tell you that the best is yet before you! In my teens, I guessed that interest in sex, for example, would be over by age 50, which seemed very old to me at that time. But now, looking back at 50 from 22 years beyond, 50 looks like youth!! And, I am really enjoying myself now, when my next birthday will be number 72!
Thus, I applaud the contept of breathing deeply and enjoying the journey!
Happy Birthday!
May 1, 2010 at 11:41 am
I’m 27, I Know who I am, I am what I am, lol,
I wouldn’t want to be any younger than I am now, I worked hella hard to get where I am Mentally, and Spiritually, and to those that look for youth, and beauty as a sign of “who they really are” well, I got news for y’all… Beauty fades, and you either get old, or die young. You can shoot Botox, and pull yo’ face, till you look like a Plastic ass, Martian, but you’re still going to me as old as you are inside. time can’t be rewound. And that’s tha Tooth, LOL
May 1, 2010 at 12:19 pm
STILL laughing at that woman LOL
May 1, 2010 at 12:27 pm
If you talk about physical peaks – there are those who are over the hill soon after puberty, being sedentary and not active in their own lives.
There are others who are still active even in their late 50′s who have defied the “age” they look by being fit and active and present in their own lives to the point where they look decades younger than their “apparent” age.
Appearances can be based on something flawed. Averages. Don’t settle for average, be aware of what you want and try for it. It’s achieving the little physical goals that make you healthier and happier.
Just speaking from experience. Thanks!
May 1, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Every year life gets better, deeper, richer. Even though my body was certainly more attractive when I was in my twenties, mentally and emotionally I was a child. I’d never want to go back to that. I’m looking forward to the next step in the journey. Like you say Davey, it’s not a hill but a parade and the crowd keeps cheering.
May 1, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Well Im not nearly 21 yet…..and considering 21 to be the hill in the gay community, which Im happily apart of, is redonkerous!!! Its my opion that life is the hill, and when its at its greatest, thats when you reach the top.
May 1, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Davey, you do not need to answer this, but have you ever had a boyfriend significantly older than you? If not, do you think one of the reasons is because an older man (and by older I mean someone at least in their 40′s) are simply not as attractive to you?
May 1, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Even on a complete shallow level…the peak is definitely NOT 21!! That’s for twink obsessors.
Anyway, I just want to express my opinion on a completely shallow level, I think 29 is the peak, and after 30 it goes down. (of course, it doesn’t mean they can’t go down very slowly)
May 1, 2010 at 4:39 pm
I remember a friend reminding me, prior to going into a club, that I might get a ticket for doing 37 in an 18-25 year old zone. No ticket, but a lot of stares. It was the first time that I was among the “oldest” in the room. Funny, but odd.
May 1, 2010 at 4:56 pm
I think the notion that life begins at any time other than your birth is ridiculous.
May 1, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Sounds like you’re good at bullshitting yourself and others. Bravo!
May 1, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Jake Gylanhaal played out his wicked ways at about your age. I was in a store called “Heaven” I purchased a particularly crazy pair of boxer shorts I passed a boy in a gold speedo out of the corner of my eye that I saw leaving the dressing room he said “Those boxers are crazy funny but they will bunch up under your pants because they are way to big for you” I looked at speedo boy and he was giving me the trust me I know stance. “I never wear boxers as underwear I’ll use them as street shorts on hot days preferring their thin material and loose but not too loose fit.I was only called out on it once Wearing some plaid flannel ones that aren’t showy the guy gave me a thumbs up and said no one will notice.” You did, I said. He pointed to the same pair he had on lifting his shirt and said, ‘You’re able to pull it off.” Speedo boy says “”Did you guys start a trend?” “Don’t know as I’m not inclined to go up to a guy and say “You’re wearing underwear out in public same as me.” It’s a bit crass even for me” He motioned me to follow him out the store. And posed for me with a big smile. (He did look vaguely familiar as most cute boys tend to do but I had a kinship with him as street theater is common for aspiring actors or actually going out in public in my underwear is classic street theater so he was convinced I’d be on his side.) He approached me and said “His friends are chicken and could I meet him with his clothes” I said “A better option would go back in the store and let me pay for them. Tags now.” He said he didn’t know where they were and this was the last one.” Security is on to us as we speak so both options are null. He ran off and security said “If I was an accessory to this I’d be seeing a judge or going to jail. On quick investigation they determined it was a random guy I had only seen for a few minutes and I was free to go. When I heard the story on an interview, I was able to put two and two together and by the time I got around he was part of the Hollywood machine with a large staff for him. So you can be a fun devil at that age trouble is there were guys foaming at the mouth wanting to make me a patsy for a “crime” I did not commit and because I was older therefore I must be the
instigator. Utter crap.I don’t know what happened to his clothes and presumably his wallet. Maybe he had a drivers license and mall security could contact him because it’s doubtful he paid for the Speedos he just had wanted to borrow them for his little escapade. He was probably seen walking north on La Cinega and slipped into his room unnoticed by his parents, his neighbors, well thats a different story as everyone knows whats going on there and it will get back to him.
May 1, 2010 at 7:49 pm
…well nothing stops aging for no one so whateverrr ñ_ñ…
May 1, 2010 at 8:00 pm
He’s not consistent is he? I was constantly told by gays and straights alike “It’s 30 when the ‘moth turns into a butterfly’” It’s confirmed to me all the time and just recently I asked yet another “stunner” his age and it was 30. I learned that your 15 minutes of fame can come in snippets and not just a full 15 minutes at once at the last US Festival in 1984 sometime in the summer in Devore, Ca. (God forsaken place truly awful)I had put up my legs and this couple decided to take the space I left and I said, “We have been here many hours and suddenly you take our leg room away from us looking for greener pastures, not cool.” “There’s plenty of room for all,” she said. “Not when my legs go to rigermortus when I can’t stretch out”. After a while my legs started to spasm and I had to go for a stroll. They provided squirt guns and I spied a cute 13 year old boy and attacked him with it. He had a sour grapes face that I was not accustomed to as I would romp with them and bond with them at the Frisbee golf course getting some sorely needed exercise and they were usually the aggressor any way so I certainly didn’t mind. I heard the song “Boys” I don’t remember who did it I’m thinking “Missing Persons” because that was one of the headline groups. I saw the monitor and there were random boys on it. (how cute)I walked away and I was behind some facilities and wasn’t able to catch what the cheers were for thinking there was an attractive celebrity on the monitor as a grand final like in a fireworks show. But s**t I missed it, and the segment was over. Sour grapes boy gave me a smile and a thumbs up and I was glad he understood I just wanted a little horseplay I needed a work out. I was met with cheers and mini bows in my return to my space with my friends, one woman said “the shorts maybe sexy but they got to go, take them off.”I laughed and said “I’m not wearing underwear this time so you’re s**t out of luck.” “All the better,” some one said with more cheers and cat calls to follow. I was thinking god what are they cutting their coke with these days? I went to my space with my friends and my best friend said “they cheered you and you were the grand finale.” The guy in front of me said “Right on man” I ironically wouldn’t have been “discovered” if it weren’t for him robbing me of my leg room. “You mean you never saw yourself in the monitor?” “No. When I went to see what all the fuss was about I missed the apparent celebrity and the “Boy” segment was over.” “Because you were that celebrity and you can chalk that up to your 15 min. of fame” I said “It couldn’t have been 3 minutes.” My friend says “Andy Warhal explained your 15 minutes are not a one time 15 minutes often snippet of your life that total or exceed that.” He could barely get it out and random women wanted to sit with us (really me I know when they’ve got the make on me) and I’d blow them off “Preferring quality time with my friends.” I was called out by my friends on being too aloof. I said this is how it always goes, “Are you single. Do you have a girlfriend? ( well if I was single then that precludes having a girl friend and proves to me they’re so enamored with me that they can’t think straight)Are you dating ? Would you like to date me?” I tell my friends rather than go there I don’t want to deflate their fantasy and take the wind out of their sails and whisper to them “I’m gay.” I said, “Not a single guy has come over.” My friend said the last show is Bowie at midnight something will happen there.” He didn’t get around till one Am and every pinch I got was from women. Even when you win you lose. People said I should wear dolphin shorts ( way to slutty)I was wearing white tennis shoes with no socks and OP shorts of the same color and nothing else. I knew it was going to be hot there, I didn’t expect I’d be perceived of that as well.
May 1, 2010 at 8:10 pm
I’m thinking of that old song “The best is yet to come…”
May 1, 2010 at 9:14 pm
Dude it just keeps getting better. I’m 35 later this month and I’m so looking forward to whatever is to come. Just you wait
May 1, 2010 at 9:32 pm
Eiriksson I agree completely. At nearly 35 years old I know who I am and what my life is about. I am committed to things that are more important than just myself (although I definitely give myself the time and attention I need, too). I love life at this age and I believe it will only get better.
May 1, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Here’s to 1975! I’m 34 and soon to be 35 and having the time of my life!
May 1, 2010 at 9:49 pm
Does it make you feel good taking pot shots at people?
May 1, 2010 at 10:27 pm
Eh! Hai. No worry. There’s up & down in life so let’s live life to the fullest. Okay?=)
Davey, you’re still ‘hot & spicy’ especially your heart..so need not to worry. Cheers!=D
May 2, 2010 at 1:18 am
It sure does.
May 2, 2010 at 6:49 am
i’m a straight woman turning 41 next week and my sex life has never been better.
May 2, 2010 at 7:51 am
Dear DW,
Although I often don’t agree with your positions, i very much appreciate the fact that you are willing to raise important and often controversial issues. It is what makes your blog so interesting and why i read it every day.
May 2, 2010 at 4:34 pm
You must really like listening to yourself..
For only you, know what the hell your talking about as it normally seems to have nothing to do with the subject at hand.
May 2, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Someone needs to learn how to write using paragraphs.
May 2, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Agreed! I’m turning 27 this year too. I’m in the best shape of my life and just started seeing someone pretty special. If this is over the hill, I’ll take it. I don’t know why the gays have to make us feel bad about ourselves.
May 3, 2010 at 6:23 am
I am 24 and sometimes I think that this is the best period of my life. But then I realize that life doesn’t end at the age of 25 or 30. Whatever your age is, it doesn’t really matter. Being 20 isn’t bette than being 50, it’s just different. You have different experiences but you still have a lot to do and enjoy.
May 3, 2010 at 3:12 pm
I just turned 30 and I think my early 20′s were the highlight of my social life thus so far. I have a career now and obligations. Which makes me miss college and having fun. not really having responsibilities other then having my classwork turned in on time. altho i am in better shape then i was back then
May 3, 2010 at 3:28 pm
You’ve actually been getting hotter as the years went on, judging from your older entries. I’m 25 going on 26 in October, just a ear younger than you.
May 3, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Bravo! Very good!!!
May 3, 2010 at 10:22 pm
i’ll be turning 55 in july which means 1) i qualify for the senior breakfast menu at IHOP, 2) at my local gay community center, SAGE begins at 45, 3) i’m thankful there arent any gay bars referred to as “wrinkle rooms” any longer 4) i mustve been doing something right to have lived such a long and richly rewarded life 5) i’m glad i discovered davey and his gentle wisdom
May 5, 2010 at 10:08 am
Life gets better with age, just like wine.
May 11, 2010 at 8:37 pm
i am 53 and though i may be past my sexual peak at least as they say its better to be over the hill than under the hill
June 8, 2010 at 12:20 pm
lol. I guess so. But hey, cut Retail a break. I believe there’s really nothing too wrong with walls of text.
June 8, 2010 at 12:22 pm
I agree devon!
June 16, 2010 at 7:03 am
Bravo Davey
June 16, 2010 at 10:44 am
Y, Hello 35 year old Juicey Mature Bwoi.
Soup’s on!
November 7, 2011 at 1:29 am
I just crunched the numbers. For every straight year there are approximately 1.9 gay years.
We “age” almost twice as fast.
November 7, 2011 at 3:27 am
Over the gay hill. there something to it all guys, I rapid appoach my 29th year in a few weeks.
Over the last time I messaged about this, I’ve personally seen “gurls” get it together, myself included, others die, others still out living the party life, and others in denial of being on it still, by getting a doctor to perscribe the narcotics. I’ve seen plenty in jail too, this of course, is refering to the party life that most of us go into after being surpressed, and alienated as teenaged boys, and then we become buck wild for a few years, live a little, rebel, and then either decide to get it together, or fall apart as a hot drugged up mess.
My body has never been anything but cute for big mama drag, or a bear, and somehow, it’s changed too, as my level of consciousness is enhanced with age. It’s like I can see that my body was mine all along, I think that your message davy wavy has always been about self acceptance, and I am one that needs all the help he can get, so your show and blog over the last few years, as I believe we’re near the same age ( If you grew watching Vr troopers of Power rangers, or sweet valley high) has been an uplifter, and I embed your stuff because i’m all about promoting awareness. So thanks.