It’s easy to blame our challenges and our issues on other people. Blame is a convenient strategy for avoiding change and personal evolution; if you believe your so-called challenges are the result of other people, it takes you off the hook.
Moreover, when we place our blame on other people, we’re avoiding a truth about ourselves.
As Wayne Dyer likes to say:
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”
Blame, like anger, regret or a grudge, is a tremendously heavy weight to carry around with you. Furthermore, harboring blame eclipses a larger truth: whatever you experience is necessary for your personal and spiritual growth. Our roadblocks and obstacles – regardless of where we believe they came from – are launch pads to our higher self.
Cultivating blame sabotages your present and future happiness by stalling your ability to work through your challenges. It robs you of personal growth. It also causes stressed relationships, resentment and a whole bunch of other things that will give you wrinkles and heart attacks.
Of course, if you blame your issues on other people, the blame that you are feeling is also a necessary step in your journey. But let’s take the next step and move on; today is an opportunity to shed the weight and rise above. And it certainly beats the alternative.
Take responsibility for your life.
June 24, 2009 at 6:59 pm
This is great. It is so often we spend our lives blaming others for what we can take control of ourselves. You can empower yourself by stopping the blame game.
June 24, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Its true not blame others for your own faults its just lying it gets bigger and bigger until it gets really nefarious, its a really grade school way to put it put it works. I try not to blame others for my own fault and I’ll try to continue to do so. Have a nice day Davey, Cheers!!!
June 24, 2009 at 7:19 pm
yeah, that’s it.
June 24, 2009 at 7:36 pm
The last line of the post says it all…
Ciao!
June 24, 2009 at 8:51 pm
I love this!
June 24, 2009 at 8:59 pm
oh yes, i have to share this post with a friend of mine who can’t seem to grow up..haha
June 24, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Davey – would you please tell us the most influential books which you would recommend? it seems Wayne Dyer is a bog influence. I would like to read up some. thanks!
June 24, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Much as I despise Wayne Dyer (that pretentious asshole of a motherfucking useless c**t) I must say this time he’s got it spot on.
The worthless piece of s**t must have stolen it from somewhere. Lord knows Wayne has never had an original idea in his head.
June 25, 2009 at 12:29 am
Wow Phil… Tell us what you really think of Wayne Dyer LOL! What kind of hatred is hiding in your shadow?
June 25, 2009 at 1:18 am
i concur!!! lool
June 25, 2009 at 6:21 am
Didn’t you guys notice that I was SUPPORTING that
infested asshole Wayne Dyer? I said his quote was
“spot on”.
I am a Christian — Unitarian/Universalist. So I know
that there will only be one person burning in hell.
You guessed it — Wayne Dyer!!
I have no idea how he transformed himself into such a
total douchebag/asshole.
PS: to Dave from Windsor. I hate nobody. In fact, I love
everybody. EXCEPT WAYNE DYER. I wish that God were more
compassionate than I am. He actually hates Wayne more
than I do.
June 25, 2009 at 7:04 am
Phil- I am a UU and you don’t sound much like one to me.
June 25, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Nice contradiction. You hate nobody. You love everyone except Wayne Dyer. Although you’re perfectly entitled to do that, I have to wonder what god would lead you to those beliefs. The God of my Christianity loves everyone and turns his back on nobody. Not to mention Wayne’s message is closely commensurate with most Christian Values. When I speak of the hatred that’s in your shadow, I use the term ‘shadoe’ in the Jungian context. It’s that part of our psyche that houses everything we resist, repress or fail to see in ourselves. It’s the stuff we tend to dislike and the stuff we tend to project onto others. Sounds like you’er projecting to me.
June 24, 2009 at 9:37 pm
awsome! stuff makes u dig deep 2 the root of the problem.
June 24, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Thanks
I really needed that today.
June 24, 2009 at 11:46 pm
I blame you and I blame Fritz! Most of all, Fritz!
June 25, 2009 at 12:33 am
Blame serves no useful or helpful purpose. Even if someone is clearly and undoubtedly the reason and source of something we dislike or something we judge as bad or wrong, blaming them does nothing to clean it up or make it right. What would help is to take responsibility for whatever it is you don’t like, whether you started it or not. You may not be the reason something’s happening but you can be the reason it changes. Instead of focussing on the problem, focus on the solution.
June 25, 2009 at 1:44 am
I am focusing on the solution. Blaming Wavy and Fritz
is the solution.
June 25, 2009 at 6:38 am
I love you Davey!
joey
June 25, 2009 at 7:05 am
I blame my parents totally for all my problems, lol.
June 25, 2009 at 7:39 am
I’m blaming you for making me smile this morning.
June 25, 2009 at 8:38 am
Blame = one reasom for lawyers.
June 25, 2009 at 9:28 am
Blame does nothing but belittles and subjugates. We need to be more affirming of people’s strengths and then their weaknesses will begin to diminish as we view them in a new light! Just saying.
Davey, OMG you are such an affirming person! Thanks!
June 25, 2009 at 9:47 am
Blaming others help to take the sting out of the problem.
June 25, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Te blame game never has any winners, the ore people know that the more healthy people there will be in the world.
June 25, 2009 at 12:28 pm
blame is just another way in which we give up our power and forget our truth as powerful creative beings. blame is like saying “i am a victim and have given up my god-given power to someone else” – so silly. oh and Phil thanks for the giggle
June 25, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Amen to that.
June 25, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Long time…
It saddens me to hear African people blame the UK for all their woes when we left the continent some 40 or more years ago.
I don’t think it helps them -
There needs to be an acceptance that sadly the British were often better than many of their subsequent corrupt leaders.
The mistake was that we stayed too olong and left too swiftly.
**
Some Muslims love to go back and moan about The Crusades (never admitting to some of their own bad historic behaviour).
The people in Northern Ireland kept going back to the days of Oliver Cromwell – hundreds of years ago. Yet recently there have been racist attacks in Northern Ireland.
**
None of us is perfect and it is our own faults we must address.
yet so often it is someone elses sin that preoccupies our minds.
June 25, 2009 at 3:48 pm
blame the blamers…ya
June 25, 2009 at 1:45 pm
You are so hot !
June 25, 2009 at 3:27 pm
This is all fine and dandy, but there are some things that really are others’ fault and the blame should be labeled accordingly.
June 25, 2009 at 9:47 pm
What does blaming the person do? Does it change anything?
June 25, 2009 at 4:50 pm
to helmut gerke: u make the germans look bad, go back there and take ur “Idiotic,Jealous comments”with-you!! come-back when you grow-up. Davey Wavey is “The Best”He makes “Most” of us here on His blog think in a “Positive”way! davvi
June 26, 2009 at 1:43 am
Fritz I know that is you!!!
June 25, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Since my lawyer will laugh me right out of his office for suing Orange County Ca. as a whole for the world economic crises due in large part of hosting nearly all the lenders peddling their worthless portfolios of sub prime mortgages, maybe I can get him to take action to the Mormon Church for funding a political hate campaign–a clear violation of separation of church and state from out of state.Lawyers make a good living on blame. Isn’t life wonderful.P.S. To that Mormon (moron) who tried to sue the promoters of the Superbowl because of a little flash of titty ( I didn’t/couldn’t even see it, resulting in a new wave of Fascism)–you need to pay the court costs of your bogus lawsuit as it was thrown out.Now get a life. Talk about blame.
June 26, 2009 at 9:36 am
for me its easy to put the blame on Barack Obama-right here-right now.the g/l/b/t community never got anywhere ultimately-its a grassroots movement,baby.thats where are progress comes from-same with everyday life.
June 30, 2009 at 10:49 pm
completely agree
July 1, 2009 at 5:22 am
That is so true. Like many high schools, the one I went to had its share of jock-bullies who would do things like go out on the weekends with the specific intention of beating people up. For fun. I had some friends who were the targets of these bullies once and one of them ended up in the hospital paralyzed from the waist down for life. I told him that he really couldn’t say that the bullies who beat him to a pulp and ruptured his spine were the ones causing his problems. His problems were all with his attitude. “You’re just refusing to take responsibility for yourself,” I told him, “You’re choosing to think of yourself as paralyzed from the waist down, choosing to believe that your attackers are responsible for your ruptured spine. If you’d just think positive and quit whining, the paralysis would go away.” I know he didn’t listen to me, because he remains wheelchair bound and in severe pain to this day. I had to take care of myself, couldn’t be influenced by such negative thinking, so I had to wish him well and live my own way – I mean, his refusal to take responsibility was infringing on my positive thinking, so I parted with him. Sometimes that’s all you can do.
July 1, 2009 at 12:03 pm
You’re deranged.
July 1, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I might be deranged, but my little made-up story was meant to show how sociopathic the attitude Dave espouses can be when taken to an extreme. And as harsh as what I wrote sounds, I’ve actually met Americans who think like that, like even objective, physical, undeniable reality, such as an injury deliberately caused by another person or directly caused by lack of health care or social services, is merely a product of mental attitudes and thus no one’s fault or responsibility. It is deranged.