This afternoon, I’ll be attending my cousin Emily’s straight wedding. I know, I know. I still can’t believe that these hetero-loving unions are legal, but I do support my cousin so I suppose it is important for me to attend the so-called “ceremony”.
In a world that is suffering the effects of overpopulation, it seems a bit ridiculous to allow marriages that almost always end up in the creation of offspring. Case in point: Emily’s husband is one of twelve children. There are already too many people in the world and too many mouths to feed – why go out of our way to invite more? And yes, gay people have children, too – but unlike straights, ours aren’t the result of having a bit too much to drink or a broken condom.
Moreover, have you ever watched a man and woman try to communicate? Men and women are raised in a very gendered world. We treat young boys differently than girls, and thus set our genders on very separate and distinct paths. How could we ever expect to mend these differences? It’s just unnatural for a man and woman to be together.
For me, the nail in the coffin is the disregard that straight people have for the institution of marriage itself. They’ve made a joke out of it. Just look at all the Vegas weddings with costumes and ridiculousness – or even more sobering, the astonishing divorce rate (somewhere around 50%). Clearly, straight people are unable to take marriage seriously.
And that’s why I don’t believe in straight marriage. Marriage should be reserved for gay people, just as God intended it in all her infinite wisdom.
(You know I’m joking, right? Just checking…)
August 27, 2010 at 11:18 am
I have been organist for probably 300+ weddings. After a while, they are all the same. Canon in D. Bridal March. You get the idea. I’m just ready for one of my own.
August 27, 2010 at 11:20 am
Whether you are joking or not, I think it is true, not to mention sad. Who decided straight drunken Vegas weddings between strangers are more valid than a gay couple who has been together for 10 years? … oh yea, our government!
August 27, 2010 at 11:27 am
Same here. I played pipe organ in Catholic churches for +20 years. It’s really hard not to become cynical after all that exposure to so many “big days” in peoples’ lives. (Although – the money was quite good!)
One thing always amazed me: no 2 soloists sing Schubert’s “Ave Maria” the same way. And there is, after all, a RIGHT way to sing it!!!
Being in Canada, my hubby and I were gay-married in ’05 – a very low key affair in my parents’ living room. Lovely.
August 27, 2010 at 11:36 am
I am attending 3 straight weddings this year. The first this Sunday. Maybe I can attend a gay wedding or have one myself.
August 27, 2010 at 11:42 am
I’ve always thought the right to reproduce as willy nilly as you’d like was a majorly unrealistic and shortsighted. I wish people would get a grip and not be like those wackos with dozens of children
August 27, 2010 at 12:49 pm
You’re totally right. It’s so unnatural! Disgusting! Blurp! Thanks to mother nature they can have gay children. Thanks Mom and Dad too!
August 27, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Joking or not, all of your points are actually pretty valid.
August 27, 2010 at 1:30 pm
I have been in 8 weddings in my life and attended an unbearable amount. I now tell everyone 2 save the invitation unless there is an open bar.
August 27, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Great post! Yeah, my parents had a dream wedding and a dream life, too bad they couldn’t get that dream divorce. Oh well, guess you can’t have it all! :p
August 27, 2010 at 2:41 pm
why would u be joking?
August 27, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Davey comne on now, With out Straight’s we dont get all the cute new boys every 20 years or so
August 27, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Nice twist Davey.
August 27, 2010 at 5:30 pm
nice way of putting it.
August 27, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Davey,
I think propagating a way against “straight people” isn’t the right way to go about this.
After all, isn’t that we hate about the minority of straight people who do it to us?
I think your war should be directed against those institutions that oppose gay marriage – Such as the church for example.
- Jake
August 27, 2010 at 6:15 pm
war*
August 27, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Jake,
I think you are missing the point. He’s turning the sphere of thought to show how gay stereotypes would be if applied to straight marriage.
Absolutely ridiculous! That’s the point. We are all people and deserve the freedom to be ourselves and live a good and happy life.
T
August 27, 2010 at 6:25 pm
It’s similar to marginalizing Muslims because there are a few extremists.
Trust me, the majority of straight people aren’t the enemy.
- Jake
August 27, 2010 at 7:36 pm
Ok, I’ll say it. Jake, are you an idiot? Again, Davey is turning the aurgument on it’s head in a humorous way to make a point. He even says at the very end “You know I’m joking, right? Just checking…”. Did you not read that?
August 27, 2010 at 7:41 pm
#justsaying
August 27, 2010 at 8:06 pm
This blog post reminded me of Jack in Will and Grace….
August 27, 2010 at 10:58 pm
My thoughts exactly. I imposed a moratorium on going to weddings until I had my own with my hubby at Toronto City Hall in 2006. We do not plan on making babies. But even if we could and did, this country would still fill with immigrants. It seems all countries are based on the population growth formula for economic expansion. Davey, maybe marry your boo in Toronto and get free health care. You can still tour around to make your vlogs.
I do not play organ any more but it is easily arranged. Almost all good organists are gay.
as Lynn Lavner said: The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That does not mean that God does not love heterosexuals.
It is just that they need more supervision.
August 28, 2010 at 2:21 am
Roger is it necessary to point out that Jake is an idiot? Perhaps he misread. His point is still valid.
August 28, 2010 at 7:48 am
When mairrage became legal in Massachusetts I found the option validating. Having priviously been in a 18 and 5 year relationship I doubt I will put myself in a position ever again to being hurt in many ways, but the option is nice.
I just returned from a weekend in P-town and noticed gay tourists holding hands down Commercial St. and thought most likely they never dare do that back wherever they are from. That saddens and angers me. The str8 have the right to be effortlessly affectionate in public but the gays don’t (unless you have balls).
Then I saw PT-Ellie, a 79 year old transexual guy living his dream and singing on Commercial St. He was a hit for everyone; str8 or gay. Goggle PT-Ellie to experience something liberating.
I’m not or never will be a cross dresser. Why do I like what this guy is doing so much?
August 28, 2010 at 7:50 am
Enjoy Emly and your family today. You are loved here in Peabody Mass
August 28, 2010 at 7:51 am
Wow! Being afraid to hold hands walking down the street? Thats horrible.
I’m so sorry to hear that people around you are living like that
Come to Sydney! I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over three years now – Never been afraid to hold his hand in public nor has anyone had a problem with it.
- Jake
August 28, 2010 at 8:46 am
Well after a long drought I will atend a weird wedding she is a meek self erasing Catholic and he is a boisterous satanist of the agressive COS brand. There will be a military row of swords brandished gaily over their heads while a padre will pronounce them married. Too bad they cannot use the body of the bride as altar to prononce the I DO in jointed sonorous fart! We need babies tons of them to sustain our artificial prosperity and fabulous consumer habits. In 2045 China will enter in a precipitous demographic decline that will be calamitous for all; Japan is already on the decline, Russia is going down the drain faster than a vodka bottle is finished at the KGB, and Europe is graying dangerously around Trafalgar Square. Only Africa and Haiti men are f*****g vigorously these firm young female bellies filling them with beautiful brown babies with huge bright eyes. And they are in shape! Athletic and gorgeous human species! Vuvuzelas conquer the world! People and nations who refuse babies are doomed.
August 28, 2010 at 8:52 am
Loved the joke, the institution of marriage used to be far more simpler a fully all civilian affair beweeen families that was kidnaped by the Church around 1000-1100 to fight kidnaps and supposedly incest in royal and noble families they pretended that too many people were too close! It was a vast joke. Flimsiest pretexts to make money on the back of the people. Now more people just live together because they enjoy a good f**k and many regular meals and company, and raise their 3 children without getting married. No need to pay lawyers for divorcing you just take half of everything. No need to gender it to death. All is well.
August 28, 2010 at 9:02 am
The one good thing about str8 marriages is that they produce GAY children. I mean, where would we be without them to provide the next generation, and the next, and the next.
We might be able to find a way to keep the odds on our side if ever we find the gay gene. We could purposely select for gay kids!
Just think, we’re less trouble to raise, we are smart and talented and sooo artistic, we don’t get into fights like the str8 boys do and we take such good care of our aged parents. Just imagine, there would be no more wars cuz gays would rather f**k than fight any day. In a majority gay world, a one-legged, hyper-myopic, over-weight, black, jewish lesbian lady with a moslem wife could finally hope to be President one day! Instead of only the four letters LGBT we’d need the whole alphabet to describe us folks. Cuz gays don’t discriminate … well, hardly ever.
Wait, I’ll ask my husband to read this. He’ll really get a charge out of it.
Be well,
August 28, 2010 at 9:13 am
It takes a gay guy to handle that organ right!
August 28, 2010 at 10:13 am
Traditional marriage was arranged marriage—essentially a real estate deal way into the 19th century among the “better families”. Biblikcal Old Testiment marriage included the options of polygamy and concubines. Anthropologists have observed remote indiginous communities which include polyandry, so 2 guys can share the expense of a wife, like rhey do here to buy a boat together. Perhaps marriage as such will only survive when our lesbian sisters show us all how to do it right? <3
August 28, 2010 at 11:24 am
That’s why I want to live in Sydney!!
August 28, 2010 at 11:53 am
I had a discussion with a concert organist about the huge number of gay organists and his take on it was *We find it appealing because the instrument is so over the top*. Whatever the reason, go to an organists convention and decide for yourself!
August 28, 2010 at 12:21 pm
LOL
August 28, 2010 at 12:55 pm
Davey, I am happy for your straight cousin, Emily, and her husband and I wish them all of the children whom they desire to sire. All that stuff about over-population and so forth is just a lot of New Age and hype-environmentalist hogwash. There is not over-population problem in the Western World, including the U. S. of A. or Canada. Some folks are destined to bear 12 children, others none soever. It is not ours to try to meddle with this where no problem exists.
Pax, Jerry Parker
August 28, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Very funny and insightful.
But the “gay gene idea cuts both ways. If “a” gay gene is discovered while the breeders are in power, we could be selected out of the human species. What a loss that would be!!!
August 28, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Enjoyed this post and most of the comments. However I see a problem. Whether meant seriously or as a joke, this statement by itself, can and most likely will be picked up by the Glen Becks of the world and used against us.
I shudder to think of a Glen Beck type saying, Well know Gay blogger DW supports our position that: ‘Men and women are raised in a very gendered world. We treat young boys differently than girls, and thus set our genders on very separate and distinct paths.’ ”
Even if seldom watched / listened to by us, we know how FOX “news” and extremists can twist any statement so to their own ends and set masses on the track to kill us, or at least gay marriage. They say Obama is a Muslim and look at how many now believe that. Maybe we’ll here “Gays don’t just want to get married, they want to destroy heterosexual marriage. That’s their real agenda.” We just don’t need that…
August 28, 2010 at 2:49 pm
I guess it was necessary.
No, he has no valid point…he completely MISSED the point.
August 28, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Geeez, another person who doesn’t get it.
August 28, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Hi Dave, I know you are joking, however i agree with the hidden meaning of your post. Your sarcastic remarks are wise and sharp, I like your way of thinking and that is why I follow your posts, besides your lovely physical humanity, obviously, lol. Here in Argentina we have achieved our own Marriage Gay law a month ago, after a long fight against the reactionary and discriminating groups from our society. Hugs. Javier
August 28, 2010 at 6:00 pm
If you stop looking at this as a war and instead see it as an opportunity to create something for future generations you begin to build rather than battling. One does not have to tear down one’s opponent to build his masterpiece. In fact, when you work so hard to tear down the other guy’s thing you have no time to build yours up. You end up with a blank slate.
I realize it’s difficult to face opposition every day. I know it’s difficult to hold my tongue when someone tries to deny me something so basic. But that does not grant me a mandate to work against them because – in so doing – I become them.
August 28, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Very, very well put.
August 28, 2010 at 6:20 pm
Joking or not you make many valid points. This earth is overpopulated and many now are starving. It amazes me that the religious right continues to preach one man one woman for the purpose of procreation as the only valid reason for marriage. I would wish they would use a little common sense but that is asking too much. God’s instructions to be fruitful and multiply to replenish the earth was for the simple reason there was not a lot of people in the earth at that time. There are now and it is no longer necessary to follow those instructions. They all talk about the sanity of marriage and how protecting the welfare of the child is the most important. Really? Look at the numbers of children abused or murdered at the hands of straight marriages, the high divorce rate, wife battering, etc. If they are going to rail against gay marriage at least acknowledge they have done a piss poor job of traditional marriage. Your point made in jest is valid nonetheless.
August 28, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Excellent point Seb. Said jokingly or not I feel it’s critical – if one is to remain as inscrutable as possible – that we focus on what we wish to build and not what we wish to destroy. I never heard Mother Teresa talk about destroying anything – even poverty. She only ever talked about human dignity and helping people. God bless her and all of us
August 28, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Davey, I ind it interesting to hear the arguments reversed. I am present to just how easy it is for a majority to manufacture valid reasons to impose its will on the people in the minority. I say valid because, to these people who hold these beliefs, the reasons are completely valid. They’ve been brought up or groomed to think a certain way and they have dogma to back it up. And they never realize how easily it could be turned around on them.
Having said that, I think we all, in many ways, impose our views of right and wrong on others. Where do we stop? Just asking.
August 28, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Yes, I can find no incident nor credible accusation that Mother Teresa, as a Catholic nun, ever tried to “convert” the masses she and her sisters served. She was about the job of serving the individual person whom she took off the streets.
I spoke of the “practical” political implications of conservatives abusing Davie’s statement. You spoke very well to the principle of “building up rather than tearing down.”
We are so often accused of wanting to “change,” and sometimes “destroy” marriage. For the most part, we gays want access to legal marriage as it is now. When we too are part of the game we will be a participant in the development of what marriage may become.
August 28, 2010 at 9:09 pm
At one right now… I wish we could get married
August 29, 2010 at 3:47 am
I’m a straight person and not a hundred percent convinced of marriage myself, but I think your post is far too generalised.
There certainly is a high rate of divorce, but there are people who have been married for fifty years and lived healthy, happy lives together. The reality is that people rush into marriage before they’re ready and they understand what it takes. And I’m sure that the same goes for homosexual relationships too, and only because we are all human and we make mistakes. It’s just human nature.
I’m not against homosexuality at all, one of my siblings is in fact homosexual. But I never criticise and I accept the way she is and I want her to be able to get married and have children of her own. Sure, there are many straight people who are against homosexuality, but there are also many straight people who are not. Some criticise you, and then you write posts like this, and in the end we aren’t getting anywhere. You can’t complain about how people are so against homosexuality and how unfair it is if you’re just going to behave as immature. It’s plain hypocritical.
August 31, 2010 at 6:56 pm
WOW!.. YOUR GETTING REDICULOUS! AND HAVE LOST MY RESPECT AS AN ACTIVIST FOR GAY PEOPLE!…THIS TYPE OF POSTING AND ATTITUDE AND NEGATIVE UNEDUCATED, PERSONALIZED IMATURE OPENION ONLY SUPPORT THE NEGATIVE “QUEENY!” BLUBBER MOUTH GAY GUYS ALL OVER THE US!…
GAY GUYS WITH CLASS IS VERY HARD TO FIND BECAUSE MANY GAY GUYS FOLLOW AND BLUBBER MOUTH ABOUT THE MOST STUPPID UNNECESSARY ISSUES!
THE ISSUE OF GAY MARIAGE IS ONLY A HARDSHIP BECAUSE OF PEOPLE’S NEGATIVE MISCONCEPTION OF WHAT TO BELIEVE OR EVEN CARE ABOUT. YOU WANNA HATE AND SOPPOSEDLY STAND FOR GAY MARRIAGE RIGHTS BY BEING INTOLERANT TO STRAIGHT MARRIAGE….{???} YOU REALLY, STAND FOR SOMETHING HUH!?….
I COULD GO ON ABOUT ABOUT WHAT THE HELL YOUR SPREADING! ON THIS BLOG!!…BUT TO MAKE IT SHORT…I LOST RESPECT FOR YOU, BEING A BLUBBBER MOUTH QUEEN!…. YOUR BEING A DUMB ASS!….AND NEED TO GROW UP!…..CHOOSE GUIDANCE FROM MATURE GAY ADULTS TO LEAD OUR GENERATION!!..YOU HAVE STRONG FOLOWERS!!..MAKE A DIFFERENCE!! DONT FEED THEM YOUR QUEEENY DRAMAS!!!….
GAY GUYS ARE JUST BEING DRAMATIC ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE JUST TO BLUBBBER!..WHEN ITS ONLY AN ISSUE FOR 90% OF OUR MATURE GAY MEN/WOMEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO LOVE, GIVE LOVE, AND FOUND TRUE LOVE. IF YOU CANT ACT ON IT PROPERLY AND HELP THE ISSUE. LEAVE IT UP TO THEM.
September 13, 2010 at 12:11 pm
It’s funny that to defend straight marriage, one would use the exact same arguments in favour of gay marriage.
One difference though is that hetero couples can have children even without marrying while gays will have much more difficulties adopting.
For the record, I’m straight, not married, with 2 children, I support gay marriage and am happy to live in Belgium where gay marriage and adoption are legal. (it’s legal to adopt a gay child and it’s legal for gay to adopt children
October 22, 2010 at 12:20 am
I do completely understand your point of view in terms of this matter. Yes there’s an issue of overpopulation in this world right now but think about it, if we completely stop straight marriage now and when it comes the time when each and everyone has ended their life on earth, humans are ceased to exist. So how do you purpose we continue the cycle of life? By science? Why waste ridiculous amount of money on something we humans can do that on our own.
Yes, men and women came from two different worlds but that’s what we need to learn, acceptance & understanding of that two worlds, that’s the purpose (what it’s supposed to be). Although, I do understand your point view on the divorce rate in this country right now but what makes you think same sex marriage would be any different? As time progress, I’ll tell you one thing, it will all end up the same. Once same sex marriage is accepted in this world openly, wait for let’s say 10-20years? Divorce rate for same sex marriage would appear/skyrocket.
Just because you’re married to your own gender, it does not promise a long term relationship/partnership, once humans are placed in a marriage setting, everything will go down, cheating/lying will start –in most cases- (one way or the other) this could be explained in terms of the psychological affect being in a marriage.
I’m not here to undermine your opinions (nor do I have anything against same sex marriage) but there’s always two sides of everything, nothing is set in stone, anything can happen but to each his own.