A nearly decade long era came to an end over the weekend: I deleted my Manhunt.net and Dudesnude.com profiles. With a heavy heart, I waved goodbye.
On Friday, I was having a conversation with a friend about my online profiles. It was the first time in my adult life that I even thought about deleting them. In my mind, they were just another fixture of my life – like checking MySpace, going to the gym or calling a friend. They were part of the routine. The thought of deleting these profiles never really crossed my mind.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that they had served their purpose and that they no longer added value or fulfillment to my life. There was a time when I enjoyed the casual fling or hookup, but that train has left the station. With a boyfriend in my life, there was no reason to search for romance – I have enough of that. And as far as meeting new friends, I think I’m more likely to meet one at a soup kitchen than on Manhunt. The only characteristic that I have in common with most men on Manhunt is that we’re gay men.
Sex. Romance. Or friends. I no longer look to Manhunt for any of those. It was then that I realized it was time to part ways with my online profiles. And so I did.
Perhaps, some day down the road, our paths will merge once again. But for now, I’m happy to say goodbye. Goodbye, Manhunt.
September 29, 2008 at 8:01 am
Nice one Davey, I really know on meeting a guy in that type of sites, theres no real characteristics on finding a guy that spend more than one date (or they can be real nutters & act normal in their profile). As well I dont inquisitive or nosey, but whos the BOYFRIEND its NICK right, no, maybe, I don’t know, arghhhhh, no it has be. Its just that guys are so great together but you never exactly never explain that you two are in a relation. Or there can be a possiblity that it could someone else.
September 29, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Actually I met my bf in manhunt, we’ve been together for 20 months and it gets better everyday.
As Davey says: “It was meant to be that way”, so maybe you can find something in those pages or maybe you won’t, it all depends what the future holds for you.
But I do believe you can find good things there, I actually find one of my best friends there.
September 29, 2008 at 4:58 pm
I guess there can someone that you can find, but how many chances is that. I don’t know really, I never actually been to those sites.
December 18, 2009 at 10:08 am
while internet may not be the best way to find someone to find a long lasting relationship with, i used manhunt myself and almost 3 years ago (this February) my boyfriend and I will have been together for 3 years. it wasn’t the site that did it, sure it was the proverbial “foot in the door” but it was our ability to communicate that lead to our eventual joining of hearts and minds. we are very different, he listens to country and i listen to heavy metal, he wears cowboy boots and i wear doc martin boots lol. like the saying goes, there is someone out there for everyone, finding them is half the fun, and don’t translate that the “fun” is having sex with half the profiles, which i didn’t lol. but i’m glad i found him and he’s happy that he found me. he’s the most down to earth person i’ve ever met. while we have our pet peeves about eachother that just makes us appreciate eachother even more. that if we can love eachother with all our faults then we can stop looking for something else and finally be happy with what we have.
September 29, 2008 at 8:15 am
do you want a medal? or maybe a cookie?
September 29, 2008 at 11:37 am
Two cookies please,
he needs to share.
September 29, 2008 at 1:59 pm
lol
October 1, 2008 at 1:28 pm
hey!! no fair. i want one too!! =(
September 29, 2008 at 8:54 am
Time to settle down.
Peace.
September 29, 2008 at 9:18 am
Davey, We all know you are heading back to RI soon. What will the return home hold for the future of you and you boyfriend? Rather a nosy question but I guess that is why we are all here to live vicariously through you! G
September 29, 2008 at 9:52 am
awww…I was looking forward to finding you on dudes nude.
. O well maybe next time…
September 29, 2008 at 9:57 am
Wow!
Impressed
Why do you drop such bombs on us, your adoring public?
We had no idea you had a boyfriend/relationship as you always preached openess.
Are you going to tell us in a talky blog?
September 29, 2008 at 11:35 am
Wow, you must not pay much attention to the Blogs
if you can’t read between the lines and tell
when Davey has something going on.
September 29, 2008 at 11:51 am
I read the blog and know he was involved with Scotty/Nick but I don’t like to assume.
Since he is going back to Rhode Island, I don’t like to assume that they are still going to have a relationship unless I assume Scotty/Nick is moving back to Rhode Island with him.
I know it’s his personal life, but it isn’t always easy to connect the dots. It would make it simpler if he could tell it like it is – as he does on so many other topics.
But alas…
September 29, 2008 at 11:20 am
Yeah, now that you mention it… I actually think I’ve been beyond the point of deleting those online profiles. As for me they never really got me anywhere romantically or otherwise. I’ve even stopped checking them as a routine like I once did too. I’ve been reserved to the fact that while I’m gay, it’s just not going to happen and its all good. I had the great true love affair of my life and you know what they say… lightening rarely strikes twice. I was truly blessed. It’s seminary school for me as I travel down a new road with just my big gay heart and God.
~Dr Snow
September 29, 2008 at 11:35 am
Hey Davey!
Your post got me thinking about a few verses from the song “Can’t Have it All?” by Jay Brannan, … (link below for the Montreal performance of the song):
“…do you want a lover, or do you want a life?
one hand or the other, the butter or the bread knife?
do you choose winter, spring, summer, or fall?
it’s driving me crazy that i can’t have it all
if these walls could talk, they’d probably cry out for mercy
’til i’m outlined in chalk, i’ll be romantically thirsty
so i drink and drink from the proverbial time sink
do we hold the future, or does it come in peace?
and if it’s in my hands, are you sure it should be in brittle hands like these?
life, love, and the pursuit of all the things they promised me
can i have all of the above? are the best things in life truly free?”
© 2008 great depression publishing (bmi)
Funny how so much time is spent looking for that lover to “complete” our lives, when being at peace with the inconsistencies of our lives and being grateful for the fullness of life in the moment is what ends up attracting that person to share our lives …
Power on, Davey!
YouTube Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwQhqgMqHQA
September 29, 2008 at 1:03 pm
I deleted those also when I met my bf. It sounds sillty but I felt kinda bad hahaha not that I wanted to cry or anything, but just weird to erased them.
When I decided to meet gay people I was afraid to go to clubs or bars, so I entered profile pages and it was my first encouter with the gay world.
September 29, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Sounds like someone is getting older. Good job! Time to settle down
September 29, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Good job way to go.
September 29, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Okay, who’s the boyfriend, that special person. Is it Nick, Will, Colin? My guess is that’s it’s Nick.
We all have to know all the details.
September 29, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Kudos Davey Wavey. It’s awesome that you’ve gone on to have that fulfillment in your life.
Happy for you bro!
Ciao – J
September 29, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Happy for you! I myself could never get into the internet hookup or just internet friends. We all have are things and the differences make us all the better!
September 29, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Good for Davey scoring an 18 year old.
September 29, 2008 at 8:01 pm
18? wow, so does this make him a cougar? or a sugardaddy?
September 29, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Good for you davey, but give the blog buddies a clue of who is the lucky guy who is you boyfriend….is it scotty dynamo??? cmon you guys look so good together you are like Brangelina
September 29, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Davey..I think what you are doing is great.
Glad to see your mind grow with maturity. People need a companion as they grow older and wisher.
Happy for you bud..
Mike
September 29, 2008 at 10:08 pm
did that stuff really work? i never actually thought things like manhunt worked for meeting non-creeper people…
September 29, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Honestly? I also gave up on Manhunt a looong time ago and (I hate to say it) created a fake profile. BUT it says I’m all set and not looking and STILL I get people emailing me (I turned off chat a while ago). Good lord. At least I only pop in there a few times a year just out of idle curiosity.
September 29, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Totally agree with you on this…I haven’t actually deleted my profiles…but I haven’t accessed them in some time either, so they might as well be deleted.
September 30, 2008 at 1:04 am
I think that’s very cool
… btw I just deleted my profiles online but there’s one last profile standing… Manhunt… I can’t for the life of me figure out how to delete my profile on that one. How do I do that? lol
September 30, 2008 at 5:19 am
Is your gay.com profile still up? the one with the nude handstand and that picture perfect bubble butt of your showing??
September 30, 2008 at 9:34 am
Webster’s Dictionary
cognitive disconnect – when what you see doesn’t make sense with what you [think] you know. ie: DaveyW on ManHunt
September 30, 2008 at 9:15 pm
You had pics in dudes nude? how did i miss that.
September 30, 2008 at 10:52 pm
davey u will find someone soon u are a hot guy and have nice abs!
October 2, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Before the internet, a lot of times I would hear from friends and acquaintance’s who go to bars/clubs frequently that they never meet anyone substantial at those places. I still hear about it to some degree today but mostly it’s about online sites where it seems the only people they connect with are incompatible and are seeking totally different things. So, they give up. They stop going to bars/clubs and stop accessing online sites. Eventually, they meet people through old fashioned avenues like friends of friends.
Still, there’s a sense of loss for the rest of the community. These bars/online sites are filled with people who mainly have one thing on their minds and unless the ones who want something more stick around, then the cycle will repeat when a newbie ventures into the scene for the first time. If they too take themselves out, then the scene will never change. While the personal reason for sticking around may no longer exist, stepping back and looking at the greater good, is still a viable reason to stay. Does that mean one always has to acknowledge every come on? No, but maybe you’re just two days away from crossing paths with one of the coolest people one could ever meet.
Maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t. Step away and that’s just one less road for opportunity to travel down.
It’s like doing laundry. Yes, you can survive and be perfectly content never washing another pair of socks or jeans but who will want to hang around you other than those who are also into odors. A little soap and water and cleanliness now and then not only keeps the stink away but also improves the world around you.
November 13, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Amen. but not the holy religious amen, just the as in you damn right about that.
December 13, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Thanks asshole for publishing a post in the first place about the Manhunt free trials that made them get rid of the free promo codes. You’ve screwed all of us.
June 27, 2009 at 4:22 am
David,
Unless you have a very good looking twin
…I viewed three very nice pictures of you on dudesnude dated June 23, 2009. Boredom can strike at any age 
.
Peace,
Rick In NC
August 15, 2011 at 1:57 pm
I have not checked in here for some time as I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are good quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend