Every Wednesday is “tip day” on one of my favorite new blogs. The blogger, Gretchen Rubin, shares her insight and tips into such areas as criticism, staying calm and making a better schedule. I’d like to do something similar here. Due to the alliteration, I think “Tuesday’s Tips” works a bit better.
Ten bucks says I forget to post tips next Tuesday. Hold me to it. 
Today, our Tuesday’s Tips deal with creating and sustaining meaningful romantic relationships. At the end of the post, submit your own tips and ideas through the comments. To create a meaningful romantic relationship:
- Be honest with yourself about what you want. What shape do you want your relationship to take? If you’ve cheated in the past, perhaps you want a relationship with a degree of openness. Don’t look at what society tells you that you should want. What do you want? Answer this question honestly.
- Be honest with any potential partners about what you want. Whatever it is that you want, communicate it openly and honestly with your potential partners. Sure, some people won’t be into it. But some people will be. It’s better to be honest up front than to deal with a dishonest relationship down the road.
- Listen 3x more than you talk. This one is simple.
- Give 3x more than what you ask. This one is simple.
- Don’t take things personally. I heard a radio announcer this morning talking about how angry he was that his fiance won’t take his last name. Is that really what matters?
- Nurture your relationship with yourself. It’s dare-I-say impossible to love another person if you can’t love yourself. Loving yourself is a journey – and none of us are 100% there yet. So do your best to grow your relationship with yourself before, during and after your relationship with another person.
- Don’t make room for jealousy. Jealousy is anti-love. Jealousy is all about you and your ego. Love is all about the other person. There is no room for jealousy when you fully love someone. Resist the urge to feed the jealousy beast.
Leave your own tips in the comments.
January 27, 2009 at 9:31 am
Show them you love them through the little things…everyone needs reminders!
January 30, 2009 at 9:21 am
agreed
January 27, 2009 at 10:24 am
Trust comes from being open and honest. Keep the lines of communication open at all times. Don’t let the nonsensical “stuff” get in the way of issues that can be taken care of with a little communication.
Much love Davey – great post!
Ciao!
January 27, 2009 at 11:23 am
If you enter a relationship to be happy, then your missing the point. You enter a relation , and make it work if you ARE happy. Others and circumstances can’t make you into what you are not. Plus it is not fair to ask a boyfriend to bear the burden of your own personal growth. Can YOU be a good boyfriend?
January 27, 2009 at 11:30 am
e….I think your methods will help me
January 27, 2009 at 2:03 pm
You’ve put a lot here. I’d like to add a couple more.
Accept that your way of doing things is probably not the same as his/hers. And that is what makes it all so great.
Mean what you say. Words like “I love you” and “I’m sorry” are precious and shouldn’t be thrown around like road salt.
Cry in front of your partner. Openness creates strong healing in both of you.
January 27, 2009 at 6:45 pm
A caveat…. It’s good from time to time in serious matters, but do not overdo it. It loses meaning.
January 30, 2009 at 9:22 am
i like what you said… especially “mean what you say”
January 27, 2009 at 3:22 pm
These are really nice tips Davey, I just need a boyfriend now or girlfriend the tips could with both ways. Have a nice Davey, Cheers!!!
January 27, 2009 at 3:30 pm
interesting – this is exactly what i’ve needed for a while – not the above – but i visited the link and found very relevant information – thanks!
January 27, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Davey… Great post. I totally agree with all of these, but especially #6. It’s so important to love yourself. How can you give what you don’t possess? If you don’t know how to love your own being, how can you effectively love another being?
True dat!
Here’s to life!
Steve
January 27, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Did I mention that you are a force for good in the world? Thank you for the daily positive energy.
January 27, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Anyone who didn’t already know these “tips” was pretty much destined to live a life of solitude from the start. It’s common sense.
January 27, 2009 at 7:55 pm
That is so funny because I am posting tips! I love tip days!
January 27, 2009 at 8:49 pm
be honest – did you use these tips with Will?
January 27, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Bull eyes on these points. Honest, Empathy, and Giving are the most important aspects of the relationship. They help to infuse the word Loving
January 27, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Hey Davey ! First of all congratulations for this blog. It’s so amazing and inspiring – and also really addicting too
)
I’ve read a great book called The mastery of love from Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s one of the best books I’ve read that really talks about your point 6 and explains in very simple words how to improve the realtionship with ourselves as the key for relationship with others, and also accept people for who they are and not try to change them the way we want them to be. A book that really changes one life.
Thanks for doing what you do and being who you are
January 27, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Hey Davey,
I just found your blog yesterday night while i was searching for some porn.. i think it was something about gay twins, it led me to your video on youtube about sex between brothers and…
Well anyway.. LOVE IT! You’re a very charming guy and I find your vids a bit tacky but amazingly hypnotic… don’t ask me whay. I just feel like watching the next one on and on..
I’m glad I found it. You know, here in Brazil you don’t find this kind of blogs. Only porn, which on the other hand aren’t so bad at all.
Well, keep up with the good work.
Cheers,
Ricardo
January 28, 2009 at 1:51 am
Its been a long time since ive been in a relationship, but if its one thing i took from it, one thing i could share with you and the blog buddies is, ALWAYS RESPECT YOUR PARTNER, sometimes its an unappropriate comment at a bad time that can take down a relationship, and in my case it did.
January 28, 2009 at 5:51 am
My biggest mistake was giving the power to another! I was going through a difficult time met this beautiful man with a great personality through the web and wanted him to be my knight in shining armor! Put it down as life lesson no xyz!
January 28, 2009 at 8:17 am
3. Listen 3x more than you talk. This one is simple. Hmmmmmmm THIS poses as a huge problem, I love to talk, can’t get enough, I could talk all day everyday if I had my way ;P
January 28, 2009 at 8:31 am
Always BETTER to listen before taking ACTION!
PEACE and JOY! Keep your Joy today!
…PROACTIVE Approach is BETTER than NON ACTIVE Approach…Use logic in decisions! Sometimes Experience and others suggestions will keep you from making mistakes! LOTS to digest here,Davey!
January 28, 2009 at 9:16 am
Wow, this post is awesome.
The points above I would say are exact points someone should follow in order to have a fulfilling relationship.
The hardest being the first 2, and then followed by the rest.
Great post.
January 28, 2009 at 10:01 am
Listen 3x more than you talk. This one is simple.
Simple to say, hard to do in a culture that has an educational, religious, and cultural system that aims to EXPLAIN everything. But doable nonetheless! Even the US president is now doing it, sort of. Listening, of course, includes mutual silence.
January 28, 2009 at 11:19 am
…and don’t forget to make each other laugh!
January 28, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Love your tips idea, Davey, but for the sake of alliteration, why not make it Davey’s Ten Top Tuesday Tips!
January 28, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Love is caring, sharing, empathy, concern, affection and not over simplification.
January 28, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Great tips Davey! I am adding a piece of wisdom that is basically covered by your points and refers to your partner’s space …
“Loving someone is giving them the space to be the way the ARE, and the way they are NOT!”
Peace …
January 29, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Hey! I sent you that link! Don’t friends deserve a little credit once in awhile
Don’t be a stranger.
January 29, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Hey Davey,
Davey great post but I can not think of any tips which you did not already cover, but like you say listen three times more then you talk is amazing you have to understand how your partner is feeling and what he or she wants out of the ralionship also.
Like you also say Davey it is very important to love yourself before you can love anyone else. If you are not comfortable with yourself you are always thinking is he or she with me because of what i have or is he or she into me at all
Davey learning to love someone can be very hard but once you realize you love them it is amazing they are a confident to you someone you can talk to about anything and someone you know will be there for you no matter the sisuation, also this person is someone that you know will never judge you or look at you in a hurtful way and then it makes you so close and when you open your heart to someone weather it be a man or woman it is an awsome feeling.
Take care Davey have fun and be safe have a great week and an even better weekend talk to ya soon peace and love.
Anthony Gallo (Pennsylvinia)
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