I’m certainly not a breakup expert; I’ve only been broken up with once. When I was a sophomore in university, my boyfriend of two months left and never came back. Billy, where did you go?
Actually – I know where he went. He went to clown school. No joke. 
I didn’t experience much heartache, but if you are experiencing the pain of a breakup – then these tips may speak to you:
- Let go. If you love your partner, then you want him or her to be happy. If your partner is happier not dating you – then respect that. Sometimes, the greatest expression of love is letting go.
- Don’t evaluate yourself by the breakup. If you have been “dumped”, it’s not an assessment of your value as a human being. Resist the urge to evaluate your self-worth by your relationship’s termination. You have value because you are you; your value has nothing to do with the whims of others.
- Remind yourself that time heals. Time is a great healer (so is love!). Though it may hurt today, the pain will lessen with time. I promise.
- Don’t throw it out. Your relationship produced an outcome. Instead of judging that outcome as good or bad, learn from it. Relationships are wonderful learning experiences. You can learn a lot about what you want, who you are and how to communicate effectively with others.
- There are more opportunities. As it turns out, we can’t see the big picture. My experience has been that things always work out for the better. Perhaps there is another person out there with whom you are more compatible. Or, perhaps there is an important lesson that you must experience. Or, perhaps your life is about to take a radically new direction that would have been inhibited by your relationship. Who knows?
- Being angry doesn’t make things better. Moping around your house won’t make you feel any better. Being angry and upset won’t put you in a better place. Pick yourself up and move on with your life. Don’t let your past sabotage your future happiness. With love, I advise: “Get over it.”
- Remind yourself that happiness comes from the inside. Boyfriend, girlfriends, husbands and wives are happiness enhancers, but they aren’t the source of happiness. Happiness comes from within. Whatever it is that you seek, you already have inside you. It’s just waiting to be discovered.
What breakup tips do you have?
February 24, 2009 at 1:52 pm
These are all very good tips on getting past a breakup. The problem is that when you’re going through it, applying them and making them work is especially difficult because you’ve lost the most important relationship in your life and don’t have that relationship to lean on anymore. I might also say that these tips work equally well when you lose your job (as a great many of us have had happen to us recently).
February 24, 2009 at 2:15 pm
woody has a good point, hard to practice when you are in
the middle of the meltdown. Its also hard to do when your
partner is the one who cheated on you, therefore making
you be the one to do the breaking up. (even though you
did really care for them)
February 24, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Find someone who listen to you vent when you need to!
February 24, 2009 at 2:37 pm
hahaha, your first is also Billy?!
Yeah 9 months for me, took me months to heal and 2 weeks of nonstop crying, well sleep stopped it, also being with friends and family made me hold it together.
Took me four years to get back on the game but I found hapiness with myself, lol well with my close friends and my MINI Cooper.
February 24, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Ok. This I just don’t get.
You admit you are not a breakup expert. You only experienced it once, with a clown, a long time ago.
WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO YOU THINK PEOPLE NEED TIPS FROM YOU???
Will you give straight people sex-tips on how to please your lady??
Get over yourself man.
February 25, 2009 at 11:41 am
Is that like telling someone who has no children that they know nothing about raising them? How many lousy parents are there out there? I think Davey is wise beyond his years. I can tell that he has read a LOT and tho I don’t know him except thru this site,it is clear that he is pretty smart and a very caring person. Even tho it is SO hard to keep those tips in mind when life turns to s**t, still, they are true and it is good advise which may help someone a little, or a lot, or even save their life.
February 25, 2009 at 4:52 pm
No Ben.
That’s not it at all.
It’s like letting someone with a super hot body and a cute face tell you that beauty lies within.
It’s like letting someone who has everything tell you that the best things in life are free.
Some things, like pain, like hunger, like heartbreak… Like being a boy or a girl or a gay. If you don’t go through them, you just don’t get them.
February 25, 2009 at 7:14 pm
I agree…it appears that Davey has not had a serious, devastating, life threatening break-up. I used to think it was easier for the pretty ones, which I never was. But such times in life is every bit as bad for the beautiful people. My friend Markus had everything…22, 6’2″ blond and blu,talented, awesome bod and c**k, women and men just fell all over themselves for him. Due to his girlfriend’s rejection of him, his ashes are now floating in the Gulf of Mexico. My neighbor’s son, age 25, is as pretty as any movie star. Right now he is suicidal over a break-up.
Davey’s advise may not be from his own experience, but it is good advise. He is young and may go thru that pure HELL that many of us have…and may refer to what he has written for solace. When ANYONE is grabbing at straws just to stay alive…they need all the help they can get.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
February 24, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Well I haven’t even been in a relationship with anyone actually at all yet Davey. No Joke either haha. But I bet this would be useful sooner or later if I were to deal with a nasty breakup. Ok but thats the end of talking about that, now I have to say right now is good bye Davey. The reason for this is that my dad decided to cut the internet because of little pay he is getting from not doing a lot of work due to economic crisis. Hopefully I would try to stay in contact with you this site or in twitter at my school, I’ll just have to find a way how to hack into it first haha. I had fun in here talking to you and the blog buddies. Hopefully my dad could rethink this if he gets a better job, but its bye for right now. Bye Davey, Cheers!!!
February 24, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Great list, however my blog suggests a slightly different route….
http://mzrevenge.blogspot.com/2008/06/mending-broken-heart.html
February 24, 2009 at 5:26 pm
um….if I broke up with my thumb can I let it go?
February 24, 2009 at 6:30 pm
throw all his **** out. or donate them to the salvos.
February 24, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Easier said than done. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years in January. I wish he would follow some of these tips. I can’t stand him and he needs to realise this!!
February 24, 2009 at 7:33 pm
why don’t you tell us some tips on how to break up with someone?
February 24, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Like you said… youve only experienced being dumped once so you cant really know how it feels…. but if you get dumped over and over again i pretty sure you’ll get the idea. though i think the things you said are probably correct but the real triumph is getting yourself to follow it… feeling heartaches is just normal part of life it makes u stronger. one things i really think thats stupid are those people committing suicide because of break ups… for those who’ve just been to break ups remind yourselves there are thousands… millions.. of boys and girls out there im sure one of them is meant for you!
February 24, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Always remember that you have become a much wiser person. Progress is made through change. Developing yourself while in a relationship can only make you that much more compatible after a break up and ready for the next person with whom you will share time.
Ciao!
February 24, 2009 at 10:37 pm
ow i have a break tips of my own… its from experience. i just made blog… you can see it there. http://www.imcominout.blogspot.com
February 25, 2009 at 12:11 am
Well, I haven’t have a chance to be with someone yet, Davey. I am just out of the closet and still trying to figure things out. s you can imagine, this is a hard time for me. However, I think it depends on how much effort and time you spend on that person. Most people would say that it is easier said than done when you are trying to following a certain sets of guidelines after a break up. It is inevitable to feel furious or evauluate yourself after a painful termination of a relationship. Imagine your devotion and time on this person. He suddenly left without showing a sense of appreciation. I would be extremely angry. No guidlines will work for me. However, I agree with you that time does heal and happiness is not just a boyfriend or a girlfriend. As for the fact that happiness comes from inside, Davey, I haven’t discover that yet. Is it because I am just out of the closet and going through a rough time? Or it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation?
February 25, 2009 at 5:28 am
Hey Davey, i completely agree with all of your comments. I recently split up about a month ago with my bf. At the time it was the hardest thing i have ever done. I had support, a great friend to talk to and completely focused on my work. I also cried for a bit as well, which i think helped with the emotional out reach.
I am not gonna say i am completely over it yet, but time definitely has healed me inside. Also happiness really does come from inside, if you have loved someone, it wasn’t them that gave you the love, it came from inside of you.
love and happiness Chris x
February 25, 2009 at 10:11 am
Open a bottle of wine, put on ricky lee jones, (the real end), “baby, baby, what the matter, is this the real end, and go dance your butt off with your buddies, and dont rebound with another guy right off,eh…
February 25, 2009 at 10:35 am
So wishing the ex would die of a horrible std is a bad thing?.. Break ups are hard.
February 25, 2009 at 10:37 am
really enjoy your site. I deal with breakups everyday with my patients. Always remind them that the responsibility for relationship problems is usually a 50/50 dynamic. Consequently a great opportunity for each person to learn about themselves by looking at their part in the breakup. I also tell them that if you don’t learn what you need to learn from each relationship, you carry the issue into your next one. The universe keeps giving us the opportunity to grow as a person, hopefully we accept the gift and evolve.
February 25, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Davey, you would be great at clown school. Your face is sooo expressive! And your occassional nuttiness would wear well in a clown suit. No disrespect intended. Just a career option to consider in these crazy economic days.
February 25, 2009 at 2:45 pm
When David (my ex) and I broke up we ended up going out to dinner and having the nicest meal in a very long time. We were both quite relieved to actually put it out there.
When it came time for him to move out, he refused to move to the guest bedroom which was a BIG issue for me. We needed some space apart and now we are housemates again, I could never imagine having a housemate besides him. When I had my accident he was there for me. (unlike the people who I thought were my friends) I appreciate him very much.
It was rough at times, but just remember you loved this person at one time and making things worse after you decide to go your separate ways is just making your life difficult. Carrying anger or wanting revenge is unhealthy.
February 25, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I never cease to be amazed at the depth and wisdom of your advice. You are a true philosopher of our modern age.
Like Buddha and Jesus you will begin a great world religion. Let me be one of the first to follow you. An adherent of the great Davey Wavey, a Wavian!
February 25, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Davey, you are very wise. Your study of different philosophies of various types has worked well for you. There are the tried and true experiences and wisdom of thousands down through the centuries culminating in teachings that can help us all overcome the tragedies in life, such as break-ups, loosing jobs, etc. I used to evaluate my happiness and worth based on the acceptance of others. what a waste of energy that was. Everyone has their faults and I am going to base my happiness and worth based on their opinions – NO WAY! I now have a live and let live philosophy. When it comes to relationships it is character traits that are the most important, not characheristics. I had a two year and a five year relationship. Both times it was my desicion to end. I went through the pain before the break-up so it was easier for me than my partner, but it was the right thing to do. You gave good advice – I would say cry for as long as you want but, don’t become too depressed. Most importantly take good care of yourself physically as well as emotionally.
February 25, 2009 at 7:54 pm
HEy blog buddies and Davey!
I recently saw He’s Just NOT That Into You in theaters and loved it. My friend Niki and i left the theater and went to the bookstore and started to read the actual book. The NUMBER ONE thing I would have to say is that you need to believe in yourself as the rule not the Exception. Saying you are the exception all the time will only make you hurt more when you realize that he just wasnt into you. Let the guy or girl who dumped you go and move on with your life. Like it was said, take the lessond from it but dont over evaluate it. Another thing is STOP LISTENING TO THE “EXCEPTION” STORIES!!!!!! If you keep listening to those kinds of stories, You will base you self worth and value on how you dont match up to that story and you won’t get over it.
I love you all! Talk to you soon!!!
February 25, 2009 at 11:57 pm
I’m the dumper. Some day I will get my comeupence. (where is that damn spell checker when you need it? It comes and goes.)So now I know how it feels. I’m glad that someone out there has enough self esteem to avoid blaming themselves over inevitable break-ups with straight dudes that go no where fast to home wreaking status. Yes you dude, the dumpee, saying nothing and let it be says a lot. For me its the chase, not the catch. These dozen or so straight dudes that I’ve been with finaly realize that. Oh get over it. I’m a dumpy dumper. That reminds me, I got to take a dump.
February 27, 2009 at 8:31 pm
How to deal with a break up? I have no idea… if you don’t feel bad after a break up, the guy you were with was not “the one” for you…
if he was, and it feels like you lost not just the guy but the purpose in life, then you know that you have been in love. and this causes so much pain you will not be able to explain in simple words. it hurts although you cannot point on the one spot that hurts the most. it makes you cry although you cannot locate the pain. it makes your life feel empty and cold… you are alone once again. in the end, no advice will help you. it takes a different amount of time for everyone to overcome the situation and during this time, everyone will find the individual way of dealing with it.
one peace of advice… or I should probably call it my way of looking at my own break up right now: We are all looking for the one person we are destined to meet in our life, the one “right” person. If he/she broke up with you, this person could not have been the right one anyway. Because the person that is destined to meet you and be with you will be looking for you as well… and once you both met, there is no more break up… until then, it will be painful, hard and unfair…
March 1, 2009 at 1:11 am
i want to kno all the tips out there… my gf (im bi) of 3 years just broke up with me and im feelin really bad… but i think i love another person: a nice guy named tyler… any way i need some advice
March 1, 2009 at 9:12 am
Take the positive and good memories from the relationship and leave the bad behind. Be grateful for what did happen and don’t dwell on what didn’t. You have to leave the baggage at the station when the train pulls out or will will weigh you down on your journey down the line.
March 2, 2009 at 8:20 am
Everyone, most of the times, have an feeling that the ‘break up’ is on the way.
When we realize that things are not working out anymore, or you have a certain feelin from your side, or ur partners’…. and u have that little voice speaking on the back of your mind: make the first move, be honest w urself and ur partner. If there’s no chance to fix anything, or even though u may fix it but on the long term it’ll fall again… then break it.
We all know when things don’t work out, we all know on the bak of our minds when we really are in love, and when we are really loved. If it doesn’t happen…. before going through Daves tips… end the relationship yourself.
If you’re honest w urself from day one, follow that voice that always tells you the truth… you’re going to avoid a nasty break up.
Have guts, and use ur mind with it.
Good luck to everyone. I should’ve done it too… next time I’m sure i will.
March 9, 2009 at 10:51 pm
very insightful tips and comments. i affirm everyone here since we all go through different process of moving on or mending a broken heart. one thing common though is that it’s really easier said than done. especially if you lost the person that you thought would be with you forever. just a sad note that he doesn’t think that way with you
nevertheless, in times like this, i just remind myself that God has some better plans for me. He is cooking something beautiful for me. we just have to learn from the past relationship and we are given this challenge because He knows that we can do it. He will never give us something that we can’t do. He is wise and i would say that scarred people are beautiful. 
cheers everyone.
June 28, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Hey u may not be an expert 2 read yo article makes me realise that am not the only one being dumpd.thanks any way
March 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I notice that youre very knowlegeable. Im launching an internet site . soon, with the information can be hugely useful for myself.. Good help and also wishing everyone the achievement within your business.