What are your goals for a relationship?

When we enter into a formal or informal union with another person, there are conscious or unconscious goals behind our actions. We’re not completely altruistic in our motivations; each of us is looking to get something out of a relationship. While there is no “right” reason to be in a relationship, some of our goals are more fulfilling than others.

For example: While being in a relationship “to not be alone” is perfectly fine (and fairly common), it circumnavigates the bigger issue that we should all learn to accept and embrace being alone. If we’re in a relationship simply for the company and companionship, we’ll always live in fear of losing our partner or of our relationship’s eventual end.

You may (or may not) know that I’m in an intimate relationship. It’s been about a year, and my goals have evolved, shifted and changed over the course of the last twelve months. Today, I decided to put these goals into writing as follows:

To experience the world through the eyes of my partner.
To grow and evolve personally and spiritually.
To share my full self with another person in a space of love.
To apply detachment.
To challenge myself.
To better understand myself and my desires.
To express the deepest expressions of love with another person.
To learn how to communicate more effectively.
To laugh and have fun!

And, If I’m being fully honest:

To reconnect love with sex.
To practice patience.
To exchange bodily fluids.

In writing these goals, I recognize that many can be achieved outside of an intimate relationship. Reconnecting sex with love is an internal process that I can undertake on my own. Similarly, I don’t need a partner to laugh or have fun. And though we’re talking about intimate relationships, some of these goals overlap with my non-intimate relationships (i.e., friends, family, acquaintances, etc.).

So, my question to you is this: What is it that you seek in a relationship? What are your relationship goals? Leave your answers in the comments.