I always love going through my inbox. And on this enchanting Sunday morning, I came across an email that I’ll paraphrase below:
Dear Davey,
I have a question. I’m only in the 7th grade, but there’s a kid in my class that says he hates gay people – and I don’t know what to do to make him stop. I hate him because my cousin is gay, and my cousin is the best guy in the entire world. I hate how judgmental other people are, so how can I make him stop?
I don’t know much, but I do know this: Hating someone because they hate someone – or something – doesn’t tend to help. Fighting hate with hate is like f*****g for virginity. Or trying to put out a fire with gasoline. It’s counterproductive.
As it turns out, we can’t change other people (though it doesn’t stop most of us from trying). The good news is, we can change ourselves. Changing ourselves is a very powerful thing, as we’re all deeply connected in this web of life. Instead of making his hate your own, make the choice to hold love in your heart – and lead a life that inspires others by example.
Express compassion towards this hateful young man, as he must be in a dark and terrifying place to hold such a toxic perspective of the world. Instead of fighting his hate with more hate, see the spirit underneath the negativity and love him for who he really is: Your brother on this journey of life.
P.S. Continuing our Monday night tradition, I’ll be on BlogTV tomorrow night at 9 PM ET. And you’re totally invited.
April 10, 2011 at 10:52 am
great advice.
April 10, 2011 at 10:52 am
and i love the picture
April 10, 2011 at 10:59 am
I really, really need this reminder every now and then. Thank you for this!
April 10, 2011 at 11:06 am
Hey Kayla, yes it’s easy to forget – and it’s very easy to get caught up in the hate of another person. It’s just not always the most effective or fulfilling path. xo
April 10, 2011 at 11:28 am
Good advise. Every time I read these I always hear your voice in them like you are reading them to me. Thank you for all the good advise you give.
April 10, 2011 at 11:28 am
Dear Davey: YOU ARE SO FULL OF IT!! Love that is, I am always proud to read what you have to say, you make silk purses out of sows ears all the time here. You turn love to face off with hate, and you see the bright side even if the lights are off. Keep up the good work, you make a good roll model for the young. Healthy in body mind and spirit. Thanks for being Davey!
April 10, 2011 at 11:44 am
Excellent advice. Another way of saying it is, Make Love, Not war.
April 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm
AWESOME advice!
April 10, 2011 at 9:09 pm
Love the post and the photo. Brilliant.
April 10, 2011 at 10:07 pm
Did you just use f*****g and virginity as a way to explain something to a 7th grader?
Way to champion the perceived gay agenda!
April 10, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Hating someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it. ~Nelson Mandela
April 10, 2011 at 10:20 pm
Hate is a fire than consume all that it touches. If you are not vigilant,even in your language, you will become its fuel. It can burn your very being to a cinder and leave you nothing more than a burnt out ember.
Oppose, resist, stand against but don’t hate. Hate denies Humanity and we are all Human. Even those now burning from the Hate. Only in peace and calm of love and tolerance can we hope to extinguish the inferno that rages across our world.
Love, educate, and extend respect and dignity. Be that which extinguishes hate. In the process you will find Hate only burns where it is allowed.
T
April 10, 2011 at 10:26 pm
Tan man? Are you like really tan?
April 11, 2011 at 12:18 am
to bad in school this advice is hard to comprehend you have to see this jerk for a whole year while others in the world you only see once and you can brush them off easily but hopefully the world changes in time for a better future
April 11, 2011 at 1:33 am
Oppose, resist, stand against but don’t hate.
Try this on: Allow and give no resistance. Instead, offer an alternative that you think works better. In the end, the one that works best will stand while the other will fall into oblivion.
Whatever you resist will persist. If apply an opposing force to something it will bind you in that position forever. The instant you begin to resist you also strengthen the resolve of those on the opposing side that they are right and must win.
Rather than focusing all your energy on merely keeping something at bay, let it be and work on creating an alternative that you want. Be very much for something that will work rather than against something that won’t.
April 11, 2011 at 1:41 am
Davey, I totally agree with the content of your message although the analogy seems a little crass for a 7th grader and, unless someone knows the etymology of the phrase “f*****g for virginity” it could be lost completely.
For those who don’t know, it comes from an anti war slogan (ironically enough – people resisting what they don’t like): Bombing to create peace is like f*****g to create virginity. When one examines it, the analogy is flawed anyway. Virginity cannot be restored by any means. Once the threshold is crossed it cannot be uncrossed. however if one kills enough of the enemy, peace is inevitable – even if it’s peace by acquiescence.
At any rate, the message is good: Love your enemy, seek to understand and accept and live as an example of the things you want to see in the world.
April 11, 2011 at 7:06 am
There are no absolutes in life. We can resist the temptation to hate, we can resist the instinct to lash back. The resistance I spoke of was internal.
April 11, 2011 at 8:06 am
this is gr8 advice DW.compassion education and setting examples are the key-and LOVE too.it gets better.
April 11, 2011 at 8:13 am
Not the place to reply…
April 11, 2011 at 8:55 am
7th grade is when we had sex education when I was a kid. And most of us didn’t learn that much.
April 11, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Wow Davey, powerful words. Awesome as always.
April 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Duh…you think 7th graders speak Shakespearean English?
They practice rainbow blowjobs by that age…getting sucked at a party from as many girls as possible with different colour lipstick.
Sorry jayle, it ain’t Kansas anymore in 7th grade. And that is where the worst bullying goes on.
April 11, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Jake… Finde me on fb and send a message…
April 11, 2011 at 7:50 pm
There’s like 50
April 12, 2011 at 12:40 pm
Metuchen NJ
May 15, 2012 at 9:51 am
Throw some punches, make him feel the pain he made others feel. There was a day when I would turn the other cheek, but non-violence isn’t a message in this country anymore. Intolerance must be met with intolerance. If violence is the only message that is understood by the biggoted than it’s the message to send