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April 8, 2013
by Davey Wavey
25 Comments



Never Been Dumped!

 

 

 

 

 

Check Out Today’s Video!

25 Comments

  1. Dearest Davey,

    This is what I wanted to see and hear from you and THANK YOU for sharing this moment with us.

    This human caring side of Davey Wavey.

    Not that I don’t enjoy the playful free spirited Davey. It’s just nice to know more about you. Just to form a clear picture of whom you are as a person. That common thread within us all.

    You never stop loving somebody (or the feeling you have for somebody) that you had a relationship with. You come to understand that they are not the person you want to create more memories with because they are not on the same page (for the lack of a better word) as you in that moment in life or it is the memories that you love and not the person you created them with. Not to say that one day they might be the one. Tho you have to be honest with yourself about this happening.

    The way I look at is the three shades of LOVE. “Love like” you like the idea of somebody liking you and being with you and you like the way that they make you feel but you do not love them. “Love Love” you love somebody and you love to make them happy and they love to make you happy. This one is like a family or a good friend. You get to have sex with them because they are not a blood ralative. You can still be friends with this person if you handle it right and you still make them happy. Then there is “Great Love”. This can grow from the other two, but most of the time takes you by surprises. At how comfortable this person makes you feels also that the little things that annoys you about them seem to melt away into nothingness. They would be the parts of this person that you miss when they are away. That they reads you like a book, that sometime it’s scary how well them seem to know and then the same goes for you knowing them.

    Are we ever ready for a relationship/love ? or do we just think we are ? do people settle for “LOVE LOVE” when there GREAT LOVE is still out there ? How much of it is in our heads ? The great “What if monster”

    J.

    P.S May this comment/message find you well and in a happy place =D

    • This comment is wonderful. I am in the process of ending a 9 year relationship and have been doubting my decision for weeks. He’s moving across country and i decided to stay. Hardest decision i have ever made in my life. Feels like I’m cutting off both legs. By your definition i have LOVE LOVE and not GREAT LOVE. I can take a little comfort in this idea. How do you walk away from something and someone who has been there for a third of your life?

      What do you base these three LOVES from? I’d love to know how you came to this definition of Love.

    • Agreed. Rather than NOT wanting to hear personal things, I think it is the personal sharing and insights that are MOST meaningful in your blog and vlogs. In some ways this is selfish for those of us who somewhat voyeuristically peer into your life, but your openness and personal outlook are so refreshing and empowering. As much as I like looking at your fit body and the fun underwear styles you wear, I “get” more from your personal, soul-baring posts like this one.

      If I ever come out, THIS is the kind of sharing I would like to offer. Thanks for helping me to even consider such a bold step. XOXOXO

    • Dearest Ender,

      I’m unsure how I came across this definition of love. I either read it or was told by somebody and it has just stuck with me. If you really need to know I could read through my diaries and find it there. Tho this might take a few days.

      J.

    • Dear J,
      I appreciate you getting back to me. If you wouldn’t mind looking (when you have time and are bored) that would be a great help to me, and maybe others on here reading this thread. On a bit of a personal journey and if it’s a book, I can’t help but think that it’s one that would help me along. Have you ever read The Mastery Of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz? Pretty good book, didn’t take it’s advice way back when. Also wrote a fantastic book called The Four Agreements that I do try to practice, though not always successfully. LOL.
      Thanks for your time.

    • Dear J & Ender,

      I’ve always heard something similar explained about the different types of love steaming from the different Greek words of love – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love

      Hope that helps!

      - V

    • Dearest Ender

      I have not read “The mastery of love” but plan to find it and read it because I’m always looking for knoweldge that may help me on my journey through life.

      I could not find where I came across my definition on the three shades of love. It wasn’t in my diaries (which there is 28) so makes me think I may have read it somewhere. I will start hunting it down because now its got under my skin that I can’t remember where I came across it.

      J.

    • Dear J,
      Thanks so much for taking the time to go thru your entire journal collection looking for this. 28! YIKES! Don’t drive yourself nuts looking for this on my account.

      I hope you find Mastery helpful and/or interesting. His first book that I read was THe Four Agreements. Changed my life in the way i handle people. That was a real eye opener of a book. I’m sure even Davey could attest to that.

      @V, thanks for the link. This was close to what we are talking about, though a little more general.

  2. Ye davey being dumped is so upsetting because like the dumped person thinks everything was ok and the pair of u still love each other ( thats why people should be more like comunitive so people nows whats up with people) if not then he or she will change to still be with the dumper I now because this has happend to me like James by boy friend was going to dump me and when he told me that it was over I asked him this one question what has changed I ask him that he he said all the thing that have changed and because of the things I now of now in a matter of realising I will change for him we are back to gether and lovez him so much. And I’ve always been the dumped not the dumper

  3. How does Daveys ex-boyfriend feel about having this shared with his followers? Did Davey ask permission?

    The other side to this is that people expect the “fire” and “passion” to remain burning forever. It doesn’t. Even with the love of your life. It changes into something deeper and more profound if you let it ( and, yes, the sex can still be great). Other people are not responsible for “inspiring” you. They do need to support and encourage, but the desire to do wonderful things and be the best you can ultimately comes from the inside.

    Did Davey discuss with his boyfriend how his lack of emotion was affecting him? Or did he just expect his other half to figure it out all by himself, then drop the axe when his psychic abilities failed him. Gay or no, his BF was still a man after all.

  4. Davey,
    I wish you hadn’t used the word “dumped” as a euphemism for ending a long-term relationship as you described it. It trivializes the relationship you had. To my mind, “dumped” refers to meeting someone, having sex with him, and then being shown the door. In other words, being used for sex. Hopefully, none of your fans will experience being dumped, but most will enter into relationships that just don’t work out in the long run. All such relationships are learning experiences about ourselves and what is truly important to us other than good sex.

  5. The older you get, the more you realize that relationships are more about companionship than lust or passion. I am writing this from the perspective of a 36 year old gay man. What I want now in a partner would have been 100% boring to me 10 years ago. I personally do not think anyone should be in a relationship until at least early 30′s. In my 20s I was traveling all over the country, meeting so many guys, going to bars/clubs with friends and just having the time of my life in general. Life in your 20s is about exploration and finding out who you really are. I used to chase after confident guys with great bodies who were very charismatic. Now the older and wiser me realized those are usually the biggest douche bags of all. They couldn’t commit to a pair of jeans nevermind a guy. My advice to you is to enjoy your life and singledom (if thats a word?) for at least the next few years. I think you will be really surprised in 5-10 years at how your perspectives on relationships and people change. Becoming older and wiser is very humbling. Moral of the story: Contentment is MUCH more important than always striving for the “perfect” guy for the “perfect” happiness. We’re all going to be old, gray, wrinkled and impotent eventually. You want to be sitting in a rocking chair next to someone who can make you laugh, someone who demonstrates they really care for you and most importantly, someone who will always be there for you in good times and bad ones.

  6. Davey,

    Thanks for this. I miss the posts from so long ago, in which you shared pieces of yourself – pieces of your life. Since you’ve built your brand, I’ve noticed things change so dramatically. Having followed you for more than five years now, having met you on the streets of Toronto, having been a part of this whole journey since the masturbating neighbour, I appreciate you as a person with tremendous depth and wisdom. Not that I don’t like your silly, fun side, but posts like this humanize you again, just when I’d started thinking that maybe the philosophical Davey – the person I so much admire – had faded away with his recent explosion in popularity. Posts like this remind me why I continue to follow you, despite thinking that, perhaps, it’s time to move on since we so often seem to be on different pages. Again, thank you!

  7. BTW, I agree that one of the most painful things I’ve had to do was break up with a long-term BF that I loved completely. But when I realized that hanging on was hurting both of us more than helping us, I knew it was time and I knew he’d never end it because he was addicted to having someone around, 24/7. And, honestly, so was I. Fortunately, I’ve had other addictions that I’ve had to let go of and so I knew – as painful as it would be – that it was up to me to end it. I didn’t enjoy it one bit. And I still have love for him. But we’re both better off.

  8. I am one of your older followers (60) who enjoy your wonderful and optimistic look at life, but in this instance, I wonder if you ended the relationship because the fire died down and you thought it would last forever? The passion does fade somewhat but a relationship is so much more. I am with the same man for 40 years, and we will finally be able to get married this year. The passion does wane, but the love continues and grows. I can compare this to a pair of shoes. They look shiny and new in the beginning and you feel good to be wearing them, but as they get older, the appearance may not be as nice, but they become so comfortable. A relationship goes through many stages but if there is love, it can continue to grow and you can grow old with that person, as we are doing. We have had a wonderful life together so far, and plan on many more years of happiness. It is not all about the physical part but rather the love you share. Next time, maybe think about this when you feel that the passion is dying. Find that special someone and enjoy a life together as we have and continue to do.

    • Exactly, Bob. People buy into the Hollywood fantasy that relationships are always going to be fire and passion and great lighting and sharp editing. It ain’t like that! No matter how much you try to explain it to people, you never really understand it until you get older

  9. Dear Davey,

    Thank you for the great video and for sharing a deeper side of yourself. I definitely agree with J in the first comment on,

    “This is what I wanted to see and hear from you and THANK YOU for sharing this moment with us.
    This human caring side of Davey Wavey.
    Not that I don’t enjoy the playful free spirited Davey. It’s just nice to know more about you. Just to form a clear picture of whom you are as a person. That common thread within us all.”

    I’ve only been a follower for a few months and while all the videos are GREAT, it’s the ones where you’ve shown a deeper glimpse of yourself that really resonate, at least with me. Don’t ever think that your fans don’t want to see that! You seem like an incredible person, and one with amazing depth. It’s been really fun to see that but also see your amazing irreverent side that you use to debunk a lot of stereotypes, fears, and things that society teaches us we aren’t supposed to openly talk about, let alone be okay with.

    Getting to glimpse the broader spectrum of your humanity also presents the challenge that you can be irreverent, feisty, impatient and passionate for change, sex positive, while embodying an amazing depth, deep care for others, connection to the spiritual, and genuine love for this world and life. Basically – the challenge that someone can be fully themselves and not just be confined to any stereotype. It’s awesome to see that you can be EXACTLY who you are. This has helped me face some of my deeper fears of myself and the deeper roots of the stereotypes I confine others in. This has been the biggest thing that I’ve got from my short time as a fan, and something I truly thank you for!

    One thing that I’ve learned that helps me with those what if situations is the idea in being proud of myself in who I am, I am acknowledging everything that helped shape me along the way. A dear friend of mine helped me figure that out by teaching me the difference between regret and remorse. He explained it as regret is wishing you could go back and change something (which leaves you stuck focusing on the past and not moving forward) where as remorse is you can still feel bad about the pain you’ve caused in past actions (and can still mourn the loss of potential in things), but you use that to learn, grow, and change the future.

    You’re awesome dude, and just wanted to give you a virtual hug!

    Have a great one and keep rocking it!!!

    - V

    PS – I just had to have the redefining convo with my bf of 4 months. No where near three years, I’m sorry for that bud! It was rough, as is some of the pain in the rebuilding process – so thanks for the words of encouragement and reminder how strong the heart is!

  10. Davey – you forget to make those two kisses at the end…

  11. If you want to break up, you break up.

    Dead are dead, no matter how much or how long you loved them.

    Love should not be a daily struggle – a lifetime fight to prevent break up will cost to much at the end.

    Nothing comes for free, not even love.

    Your body and mind will recognize, understand and learn as older you get.

    If you love someone, set them free!

  12. Thanks DaveyWavey this is what I really needed to hear currently.

  13. Hope you asked your ex-boyfriend for permission before talking about about your relationship on Youtube…It’s his personal life too!! If you didn’t check with him before doing this.. you are such an a**h***!!!

  14. Davey, two things I was thinking while I watched this video:

    1). I hope that Davey got permission from his ex-bf to talk about their relationship like this (especially talking about him and what he did and didn’t do). If not, I’d suggest removing this video.

    2). I’m hoping that Davey talked to his parents about the relationship and drew upon their many years of being together. Parents hold a wealth of knowledge, especially when it comes to the different stages of “love” in a relationship and how that can change and develop and mature over time.

    On another note, I remember a while back you created a video explaining why you will be single the rest of your life, and why you are good with that. Some of it had to do with your quirks. Are you rethinking that video and your belief that it’s good that you’re single? I always figured you broke things off with your ex-bf because he just wasn’t compatible with those ‘quirks’ that you said were deal-breakers. Or is it that you are just sort of confused (which is normal for most of us when it comes to knowing ourselves and the bigger matter of relationships)?

  15. I’ve been dumped ten times by the same girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How is that possible?!

    • You obviously are a masochist who keeps going back for more and she a sadist who enjoys dumping you. Why not go for whips and chains instead.

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