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October 22, 2011
by Davey Wavey
39 Comments



OutStories: Blaine’s Coming Out Story.

Coming out isn’t just for kids.

Meet Blaine, this week’s OutStory. At 46, he came out – after being married to a woman and having children of his own. His heartfelt story is a reminder that we all come out at our pace and that there’s no one-size-fits all approach.

If you’d like your coming out story featured on the OutStories YouTube channel, share it with us.

39 Comments

  1. Wow…that was very touching. Good for you Blaine!!!! :) btw FIRST COMMENT Yayyyyy!!!!!!

  2. Thanks for sharing your story, Blaine. I know there are many men in your situation who came out after raising a family. It saddens me when I try to imagine what it must have been like to live all those years with unrequited, male desire. I am glad for you that you were able to make the transition to freedom, the freedom to just be who you are. And I hope that your feelings of liberation will be an inspiration to others who may be contemplating a similar transition.

  3. Unbelievable. this was really powerful and for some reason ;-) it stuck a chord with me.

  4. Hi Blaine,

    If you could send a little of that bravey my way I’d appreciate it.

    Thanks for sharing. I hope you continue to live a happy and fulfilled life.

  5. )’: I’m so depressed. Y most I always fall in love with straight guys? I mean y! So color guard, only guy in color guard may I add, has gay sounding voice, hangs out only with girls, and eyeballs the football players. So hit him up on Facebook. And he say ” I’m really sorry ilbut I’m not gay.” Kevin: sorry I’m str8, Brady: ewwww get away from faggot!, Greycon: I’m str8. All str8 and me not knowing asked them all out. And bang bang bang shot down each time.

    • You didn’t fall in love. You simply had a crush. If you get in some guy’s face about being gay, expect to be shot down. Most guys your age are either confused or in denial about their gay identity. Why don’t you try to establish a friendship first? Life has its disappointments. If you get depressed over minor disappointments, how are you going to handle the big ones that come later in life?

    • Hi Patrick,

      I have to agree with Joel. I think you may have over extended yourself a little. Take smaller steps. I hope things get better for you. There is support in your community, you just have to look.

      Meanwhile, I think we maybe stealing Blaine’s thunder somewhat fellow blog buddies.

  6. Right, Jason. Blaine had the courage to confront his true identity in the face of possible rejection, to come out to his family and to the world in making his coming out YouTube video. We, the blog buddies, ought to acknowledge him for the courageous person he is. It’s never easy.

  7. I couldn’t agree more with what you said about everyone needs to come out when they are ready. I came out 7 years ago at the age of 36. I have known all my life that I was gay…but I didn’t WANT to be gay. I tried to convince myself I could manage in the world by forcing myself to live the hetero life. I was wrong. lol. It just took me longer to come to terms with it and admit it to myself before I could admit it to others. When I did finally come out…it was like a huge weight was lifted from my life. I too was one of the lucky ones that had, and has, so much support from family and friends. Thank you so much for sharing your ‘late in life’ coming out story. It reminded me how lucky I am to have the support system, family, and friends that I so much appreciate.

    • I’m 36 now. My circumstances are different but I’m staring down that road. Good to hear from fellow Generation X er’s.

  8. Blaine and his coming out story is heartfelt and he is now so true and honest with his life.He gives other men and women reason to be true to oneself and others.Kudos to Blaine.

  9. Support? Really! Confused I am not. Nor am I in denial. When a str8 acts gay that doesn’t confuse me! It just pisses me off!!

    • I wasn’t implying that you are confused or in denial, Patrick. I was suggesting that the guys you came out to are most likely either confused or in denial about THEIR sexual identity.

    • Hi Patrick,

      I was merely suggesting you find yourself a group of people who are already in touch with their truth. It may save you a great deal of frustration. It’s those “str8″ guys’ loss for not giving you a chance.

    • If only to be friends…. {Posted in the wrong place}.

  10. Blaine…thank you very much for sharing your coming out story. I came out at 49 and hearing your story helps me to honor and validate my own experience. I applaud your courage and honesty in sharing your story here. And thanks to Davey Wavey for providing this important forum!

  11. I am sorry, Joel. I didn’t mean to “yell” at you. I was just mad because I realized what I did wrong. Never tell a guy your gay until you’ve got a good friendship.

    • That’s okay, Patrick. Sometimes I am just too abrupt. I’m old enough to have forgotten what it feels like to have a crush on someone. I hope you will accept that the guys you are attracted to may still be in the closet. In my own case, I was in denial about being gay well into my 20′s. You’re out and that is good. Be more subtle. Try to establish a friendship first. If the other guy is attracted to you, things will take their natural course. Good luck.

  12. Oh and you too, Jason.

  13. You guys are so nice and have given me the advice I’ve been seeking from Davey and never got. You are right about making a good solid friendship first. Also about how they could still be in closet. Thank you so Jason and Joel. (: you have helped me througha hard time.

    • Most friendships are formed between people who share common interests. In high school, develop some interests in extracurricular activities that appeal to you. Avoid cliques, be open to everyone and you will come out ahead. Smile even when it hurts inside. You are gay, you are proud, and in the immortal words of Lady Gaga, you are “one free bitch.” Don’t let the bastards get you down.

      Please note that “one free bitch” is an attitude, not an identity.

    • Before I get myself into trouble here, when Lady Gaga says she is a “free bitch” what she means is she is she free and unencumbered by others’ expectations of what a lady should be.

    • @ Patick (& Joel)

      Isn’t that’s what blog buddies are for? :-D

      Like Joel says in quoting Lady GaGa, be your own man, live life by your own rules (aka: “be a free bitch baby”!).

  14. I like this story, it is a reminder that we come out for ourselves but it has an effect for our loved ones. I also think coming out is about loving yourself and being in the position to share your heart. As such no one else can say when the time is right for you to come out.

  15. You guys are awesome. I’d kiss you both but we’re probably far apart and you’re probably a lot older than I am. A lot meaning out of high school. :)

  16. Aw. Thanks Joel.

  17. @ Jason
    How can you have a 20 year high school reunion when you’re only 36?

  18. Oh I’m a younger than my grade too.

    • @ Patrick – Actually I was the right age.

      I live in Australia. The Australian school year runs from January to December within each calendar year, with summer holidays taking place in December and January – the Southern Hemispheric Summer. I was born in January, so I turned 18 – 2 months after graduation… (which took place in November of 1992).

      NB: Older grades, especially 10,11 and 12 start their summer holidays earlier than years 1 through 9.

  19. Oh my god! How adorable is that man! I just wanna hug him!

  20. @Jason. I also was born in the month of January. If you are a Capricorn, as I am, then it is true: We Capricorn boys are born with all the seriousness of old men, but become more childlike and playful as we grow older. It has certainly been true in my life. If you are like me, just think of the fun ahead of you. It does get better….and sillier as the years go by. Need I say more?

    • @ Joel,

      My star sign is actually Aquarius (cusp of Capricorn). Thanks for the kind words though, I truly appreciate them.

  21. Blaine, as you are probably finding out, you are not alone. I, too, got married, and I have two wonderful teenaged boys. The only difference is that I actually was “out” for two years in college, and the only reason I didn’t stay out was religion.

    I’ve been separated, and out again for over 7 years, and I have plenty of support as well from family and friends. I even found a church that is accepting.

    Thanks for sharing your story. It’s not often you hear from older guys just coming out.

  22. Greetings Blaine – and welcome aboard! I’ve known guys who have come out at quite a bit older than 46. And to them I would say: Better late than never! Hang in there and all the best!

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