There are a lot of things in life that never cease to baffle me. One of them is the stigma associated with having numerous sexual partners.
While the stigma is weakest among straight men (straight guys that have many partners are considered “studs”) and strongest among women (women that have many partners are considered “sluts”), it is also carried over into the gay world.
“But I’m not a slut.” I’ve heard that response more than a few times while engaged in conversation. It’s usually said quickly and defensively. I always respond, “So what if you are?” That usually doesn’t go over too well.
If having sex with numerous people makes you happy, then who are any of us to judge? Sure, there are negative consequences to promiscuity like STDs, but there are negative consequences of many other things in life… like eating ice cream, getting tan or driving a car.
And let’s be real… most of us have, at at least some point in our lives, been promiscuous (myself included). Maybe it was the one night stand you had while on Spring break. Or the cute guy you met on the train. Degrading someone because of their sexual promiscuity is a lot like the pot calling the kettle black.
It’s all part of the journey. I think it’s important to respect where people are in their personal journeys of discovery, even if their on a path that isn’t our own. All paths lead to truth (some are just a bit longer than others).
One of my college friends always used to say, “Do what you do.” It’s a great mantra. So, do what you do – so long as it brings happiness, peace and love into your life, and the lives of the people around you. If being a slut does that, then do it up.
May 28, 2008 at 8:09 am
omg… you are such a slut.
May 28, 2008 at 8:15 am
As a musician I must take up for the sluts in the world. Not so say that all musicians are sluts, but the element of practice is something that pertains to everything in life. Whether it’s getting better playing your instrument or getting better at using your “instrument” – like that saying goes, “practice makes….better”.
So keep practicing…I know I will!
Much love on a perfect Wednesday Davey!
Ciao – J
May 28, 2008 at 8:27 am
So true Davey each person should feel that they can express their own sexuality in their own way. Who cares what two (or more) consenting adults do together? I don’t (unless i’m one of them!)
Peace and Freedom
xxx
May 28, 2008 at 9:42 am
Promiscuity is a state of being. We learn from this state. It’s a part of the human journey. It is, what is . Peace.
May 28, 2008 at 9:48 am
I totally agree. So what if you are or I am a slut. Just don’t do this that hurt others
May 30, 2008 at 6:18 am
Jesus was homosexual thru and thru and christianity is a surpressed homosexual religion practiced by active and passive heterosexuals to justify a disliking of several minority groups all personified by Jesus. to self justify you must hate somebody even if it the “Devil” in order to feel self righteous and proud for GOD’s sake! you see yourself alright and minorities deserving your righteous wrath! when the Enola Gay dropped her egg, were there any innocent Japanese at ground zero? what was Anne Franks crime against humanity? why did Matt Shephard have to die like Jesus crucified on a fence post abandoned by humanity? where was your christian god then?
May 30, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Thank you Jewish GOD{JAHVAH} for your gift of my discernment, now I can see where we all will surely be, very soon, who are you and what have you sacrificed? I only want to know! I am the Son of Adam, uncut not Abraham..self-mutilated!
May 28, 2008 at 10:20 am
Today’s Scripture Reading:
But even there, if you seek God, your God, you’ll be able to find him if you’re serious, looking for him with your whole heart and soul. When troubles come and all these awful things happen to you, in future days you will come back to God, your God, and listen obediently to what he says. God, your God, is above all a compassionate God. In the end God will not abandon you, and won’t bring you to ruin, and won’t forget the covenant with your ancestors which God swore to them. Deuteronomy 4:29-31 (Message Bible)
Time and time again, I talk with people who somehow feel that what they’ve done, and where they’ve been in life, will make them unacceptable to God. It makes one wonder what sort of God-image they are living with. Is God condemning and remembering of our sins, or is God compassionate, understanding, loving and forgiving? Apparently, far too many people feel that God is condemning, and they fear the judgment and/or reject the condemnation. Today’s passage from Deuteronomy gives a healthier image of God. The passage begins with the phrase, “But even there…” The “even there” it refers to is a place of worshiping our own gods, bowing before images made by human hands, images which cannot speak or feel or love us. Even from there you can come home to God. Even from there, you can with heart and soul seek God. Even when awful things have happened to you and when you have done awful things, you can come back to God, because God is, above all else, a compassionate God who has never abandoned you, never forgotten you, never stopped loving you. God is ready for you to come home. Step through that door. Enter into God’s presence and embrace the God who loves you unconditionally. God is ready, are you? Come home. Amen!
May 28, 2008 at 11:00 am
what on earth has this got to do with davey’s post?
go preach on your own blog!
and if you ain’t got one… make one!
and if you can’t do that… then tough s**t!
May 28, 2008 at 12:33 pm
sorry…but I will stay here and preach…would you say that was tough dukkie?
with love Mike
May 28, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Everyone! If you don’t like or want this preaching, then do not react, ignore. If no-one replies or rises to his bait, then he’ll probably get tired of it all, God willing.
May 28, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Ugh… disgusting religious B.S.
Please, have some respect and go elsewhere if no one here wants to hear you.
May 29, 2008 at 6:03 am
I don’t care if anybody reads or replys to my posting. This forum is for all who want to come here. What is disgusting is topic today. I have a different view of what I call nasty vile people. Moses and Luke, I don’t give a s**t if you read or respond or not. And I certainly do not care if you two want to act like dogs in heat and f**k everthing in site.
May 29, 2008 at 6:46 am
Funny, somehow I don’t see Jesus having such an opinion. But alas, that is common among religious extremeist, the need to force their preachings upon those who do not seek their false gods. Might I suggest we ignore his comments as he has proven himself to be nothing more then a pitiful and lonely soul.
May 29, 2008 at 8:10 am
Skip..Please do ignore me…I would count that as a blessing. Yes,I am a lonely soul among deviates like you. But I am happier for it. My commentary does not match your need, but it is mine and I will continue to talk against deviate perversion that you promote.
May 29, 2008 at 8:34 am
Now see what you’ve gone and done, Davey? You gave Mike in Dallas a pulpit to bible-thump on. Oh well. Where’s the delete button?
Be well,
May 29, 2008 at 9:09 am
Greg..what Davey has done is allow for all people to say what they wish even if it does not meet your particular agenda.
I feel sorry for you guys who don’t have enough self constrain in voicing your opinions.
Man, you don’t have to read anything you don’t want to read..but don’t try to be so silly in your replies.
May 30, 2008 at 3:25 am
You know, Mike, it’s kinda funny how you are telling everyone that Davey made this website to allow everyone his or her opinions and that they should just let your comment be, yet by doing so, you are going against what you’re preaching and refuting everyone else’s opinion.
May 30, 2008 at 5:09 am
lol…what the hell did you just say?
May 30, 2008 at 5:20 am
I’m a Gay Christian —
So What Are My Options?
by Inge S. Anderson
Back to Perspectives | Back to Inklings Index
Gay and lesbian Christians often believe they have only two options — either to submit to change therapy in order to become “heterosexual” or to join the gay world in indulging in gay sex. But this either/or argument is one invented by the devil himself, I’m sure, because attempting either option can result in a kind of slavery. And Satan specializes in slavery.
The Good News is that Jesus came to give us freedom! So please stay with me to examine some other options.
Option 1
In other essays I’ve expressed disagreement with the philosophy of change ministries. (See “About Change Ministries” and “Change Ministries Revisited.”) So, I don’t consider that a viable option for most homosexually oriented Christians, except as a way to meet some dedicated, like-minded Christians and learn some coping methods. (And you will meet some fine, dedicated Christians there and could possibly make some life-long friends.)
We don’t know of any change ministries that we could personally recommend. Some things to watch for is how much ministry leaders promise. If they promise complete orientation change, stay away from them. If they admit that change comes slowly, and that it is possible to live with a homosexual orientation without having it control your life, they are telling the truth. If they tell you that Jesus can and will deliver you from sexual compulsions, they are telling the truth. If they tell you that many gay people can change enough to enjoy a heterosexual marriage, they are telling the truth. And you may learn much from them. But beware of those who make heterosexual marriage a goal or some sort of test of faith.
Some Principles
And this is a good place to point out that a homosexual orientation does not make anyone any more sinful or “abominable” in the sight of God than a heterosexual orientation. (See What Is an Abomination to God?) We are all born sinners (Romans 3:23) with a heart that “is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” (Jeremiah 17:9) All except Jesus. He was God in human flesh come to deliver us from sin and to show us the way to live a victorious Christian life. And His way was the way of self-denial: He came not to do His own will, but the will of Him that sent Him (John 6:38). He calls us to the same path, saying to all who would follow him, “Take up your cross daily, and follow me.” (Luke 9:23) It’s one of the paradoxes of the gospel that we find joy and happiness by giving up our own way and submitting to His.
Satan has deceived us into thinking that we will be happier when we do things our way instead of God’s way. He has pictured God as the kill-joy and himself as the “liberator.” But you know he’s a liar. The Bible tells us that true freedom and liberty is found by those who walk within God’s Law — the fence He has set around us to keep us from harm. (See such passages as Psalm 119:45, Isaiah 61:1, James 1:25) A little lady who had some real insight into how things really are wrote this some years back: “God never leads His children otherwise than they would choose to be led, if they could see the end from the beginning and discern the glory of the purpose which they are fulfilling as co-workers with Him.” (Ellen White in Ministry of Healing, p. 479) But Satan has many ways to cause us to doubt the goodness of God. One of the most terrible is the abuse of children by their fathers. Thus I know some gay men and lesbian women who have had a very difficult time relating to God because the Bible refers to God as Father, and their father has abused them. (That is a whole subject unto itself.) While there are also other images of God in the Bible, it may be best just to think of God as the ideal father you should have had. Our imaginations are very powerful, and there is no better use for them than to make truths feel real to us.
Option 2
An option that the world presents to homosexually oriented persons is to just go for it — indulge in gay sex and live the “gay life.” While at first, this thought repels the conscientious Christian, it’s quite possible to become used to it. As Alexander Pope wrote,
Vice is a monster of such frightful mien
That to be hated needs but to be seen.
But seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.
(from Pope’s “Essay on Man”)
And that’s the danger in watching gay movies, and even listening to the news. Inhibitions are broken down, and, once tried, gay sex seems so “natural.” Furthermore, it’s highly addictive.
Advocates of gay sex and gay “marriage,” argue something like this: God created me gay; therefore it must be all right to indulge my sexual desires. The texts in the Bible referring to same-gender sex must not refer to relationships between those who are homosexually oriented. Those who argue that way are good people, people such as those connected with SoulForce. But even good people cannot change the standards God has set. Even good people will have a hard time persuading God that he didn’t really mean it when he forbade same-gender sex.
Books have been written to interpret the five to eight texts in Scripture referring to same-gender sex in such a manner as to exclude loving relationships. (Hey, it takes books to turn these clear texts into something that permits gay sex!) Gay theologians argue that the texts mentioning same-gender sex in Scripture refer to temple prostitutes in connection with idol worship, for instance, and they do not refer to loving relationships between two persons of the same gender.
However, the bottom line is that gay sex is mentioned in the Bible, but never favorably. By contrast, marriage between a man and a woman is mentioned frequently as being blessed of God. Indeed, God often uses marriage as an analogy of the kind of relationship He wishes to have with His people. Furthermore, the Bible makes clear that all sex outside this relationship is abhorrent in God’s sight — whether that’s heterosexual or homosexual. I figure the same God who made us knows that there’s something about the sexual “one-flesh” experience that takes something away from us unless we engage in it within the boundaries God has provided. We ignore His rules to our own injury.
The biblical record indicates that God invented sex and blessed sexual union for the purpose of procreation and promoting “oneness” between a man and a woman joined for life in the covenant of marriage. He gave sex to humanity made in His image so that we might partake in His creative activity, and He often speaks of His relationship with His people in terms like that of this original marriage covenant. By contrast, same-gender sex is only mentioned five times and never in positive terms. Gay theologians thus stand on rather shaky ground.
The fact that some Christian churches are “gay-friendly” with openly gay members participating and holding offices in the church should not be confused with a divine fiat on the issue of gay sex. We must each answer to God for ourselves, and no pastor or local church board has the authority to broaden the way that Christ called “narrow.” Neither do they have the authority to define sin differently from the Bible which defines sin only in terms of action, not in terms of orientation or inclination. Thus, we applaud the stance of churches that welcome gay members without inquiring closely into their intimate lives while at the same time they make clear that they uphold God’s rules of sexual conduct. (This would apply equally to gay and straight members.) While the principles are clear in Scripture, precisely what behavior is inside or outside God’s plan for us is a matter to be settled between individuals and their God.
Options 3 & 4
A third option involves acknowledgment of one’s homosexual orientation before God and submitting it to Him — in the same manner that heterosexual should submit their sexual desires to Him. In the case of gay people, this can mean a celibate life which includes emotionally fulfilling relationships with both men and women. But that’s not the only option.
Gay people on our lists have testified how their sexual compulsions have lessened and taken up less of their emotional and mental energy after they admitted to themselves that, yes, they are gay/homosexually oriented. Then they could turn their attention to ways of living their life to the glory of God instead of spending their energy on denying their orientation. Others have testified how seeking emotionally fulfilling relationships with others of their own gender have nurtured them and normalized their sexual urges so that they have receded into the background, where they belong, rather than being front and center in their lives so as to consume their identity. Seeing attractive men or women as children of God and brothers and sisters in Christ, rather than sex objects, allows them to have a perspective on life that is more like that of God.
Option 3: Celibacy in the Single Life
The lives of Jesus, Paul the Apostle, many of the prophets as well as saints of the Christian era demonstrate the lives of rewarding service possible to those who choose celibacy to the glory of God. One thing is sure: Jesus understands those who choose the single, celibate life. He’s been there, done that. And the Apostle Paul went so far as to express the opinion that it would be best for others to be single as he was, if they could. (See 1 Corinthians 7:7,8)
And this is the option many homosexually oriented Christians have chosen. They life busy and fulfilling lives by involving themselves in their church and community. Some of them are on our GLOWfriends list. Feel free to come and join us. (You can sign up directly at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GLOWFriends/)
Option 4: Heterosexual Marriage
Others on our lists have demonstrated that it is not necessary to undergo change therapy and develop a heterosexual orientation in order to have a satisfying marriage. It is necessary to be attracted to only one person of the opposite sex in order to have a family after God’s plan. All other sexual attraction needs to be disciplined by both gay and straight people. But there’s a difference in the way gay people and straight people get to the marriage altar.
Straight relationships often begin with sexual attraction and (hopefully) develop to the place where they include emotional, mental and spiritual attraction and fellowships. (Often they don’t move to that level of true bonding that God intended, and that probably accounts for today’s high divorce rate.) Gay people who marry someone of the opposite sex usually start at the opposite end of the relationship scale. They develop a close friendship with an emotional, spiritual and mental bond before they feel any sort of physical attraction. And that attraction is likely to develop slowly and gently, rather than tempestuously and overwhelmingly. Is that a bad thing? Judging by the divorce rate among those whose relationships began with sexual attraction, I think not. I have seen better gay-straight marriages than the average straight marriage. (However, marriage is not an “answer” to homosexuality. It is an option that needs to be seriously considered and approached with absolute honesty and openness and a willingness to wait for God’s timing.)
——————————————————————————–
These are the major options, even while there are others that are not practical for most people — such as the long-term relationships that develop into celibate relationships. (We’ve had several such couples on our lists –individuals who began as sexually active gay couples but chose celibacy after being convicted by the Holy Spirit — but we’ve found that two gay people purposely planning a celibate relationship from the outset have difficulty maintaining chastity.) However, God can and will give wisdom to all who ask Him, as He has promised in James 1:5, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously, without finding fault, and it will be given him.”
The teachings of Christ are full of paradoxes, such as “The first shall be last,” and we live by dying. He taught us that to follow Him means committing to a path of self-denial — whether we are gay or straight. “If anyone would be my disciple, let him take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23) This “cross” is often more obvious to the gay Christian than to the heterosexual Christian, and perhaps that’s a good thing because this “cross” cannot be borne alone, and hooking up with Christ is the only way any of us will be saved. He is willing and able to walk with us every step of the way.
As in all other areas of life, true joy and satisfaction is found only in submission to our infinitely loving Lord who never asks us to do anything that we would not choose for ourselves if we could see the end from the beginning as He sees and discern the glory of His purpose for our lives.
Members of our GLOWfriends community can testify that Jesus does satisfy the longings of the heart. And when we give up all to follow Him, He gives back so much even in this life.
May He grant you the wisdom to live your life to His glory so that your joy may be full!
May 30, 2008 at 7:08 am
I warn you all. do not drink this kool-aide mixture. those who do not learn from the mistakes of history are doomed to repeat them! beware! remember Jonestowne incident!
May 30, 2008 at 8:20 am
God bless Dwight David
May 31, 2008 at 9:43 am
appreciate what you are trying to articulate here Mike but it has inherent limitations based on interpretations of biblical reference which again depends on the calibre of the source. One of the chief challenges to emotional balance in life is sexual energy perhaps due to the power of sex which can make life as well as destroy it. Sex is a dance of energy and our contact point with the vital force of creation and is an essential aspect of our creativity; the expression of which is based upon our values and present self-worth. Sex is life and we are always sexual (whether we are willing to be truly honest about this) – our beliefs about our sexuality can be a source of many inner conflicts resulting in avoidance of true sexual understanding. Denial of pleasure may be a Chosen path of some & that depends on who you believe yourself to be and well as what you believe you are worth. Whilst a devalued version of sex is marketed by the media to the masses in a not-so-subtle attempt to steer one away from the wholesome,vibrant,loving and nourishing aspects of a healthy sexual union. Yes jesus came and perhaps strongly expressed a path of self-denial but that does not mean we are all meant to IMITATE that – in his and that time that was gods expression through him – and yes i embrace the higher truths of the legitimate and truthfully represented aspects of his teaching; but denying my own truth and how gods will expresses through me is just that and not a mirror image carbon copy of what some biblical figures in their time expressed
May 28, 2008 at 10:21 am
Dave I agree with your statement 100%.
I’d also like to add to the pot that many non-promiscuous people tend to not give a person who has had a promiscuous past, a fair chance. Most feel that they can’t be trusted in a relationship, due to their previously promiscuous nature.
Many promiscuous people are looking for a relationship/love…..but sometimes just find sex. Of course, some are just looking for sex and that is perfectly ok.
Accepting the fact yourself that having many sexual partners doesn’t make you a slut, is easier than convincing others. Here’s hoping everyone opens their minds and hearts to all in the search for whatever makes them happy.
Craig.
May 28, 2008 at 11:25 am
I am 45 years old
I have slept with over 2500 men (loving every min of it)
I have never had an STD
I am not ashamed of who I am, actually I am open and very aggressive about it
I am NEVER regret what I have done, I learn from it and move forward
What words that society or religious nuts use or say means nothing to me. I am very successful business man and highly respected worldwide, but very open about my life. If someone was to say something they are immediately put in their place no matter where I am or who I am with.
So I guess what I want to say is that you are what you think that you are. The people that know me know who I am and what I stand for. Sex is sex…the world is changing and will continue to change where gay, bisexual; straight will mean nothing in hundreds of years. Sex is sex and will be that way until the end of time. So if you have a great deal of sex partners…more power to you and I hope that you have and awesome time. Words truly mean nothing it is who you are that counts…you have to know that within.
Sorry for the rambling but I am in a hurry to go out to dinner.
May 28, 2008 at 11:42 am
I’m 31 and I’ve got about 1800 to go to catch up with you. I have had an STD (but not a serious one – completely treatable and gone now), and I’m not ashamed of that, either.
The only thing I “regret” is the time I wasted thinking that there was something wrong with me for having so many different partners.
May 28, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Anyone who says you are a slut is just jealous because they aren’t getting any. Slut!!!
May 28, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Yeah! Let’s now all express our pride of having hundreds or thousands of sexual partners… cuz obviously it’s kewl.
When you meet a person that you’ll completely fell for – remember to be hoest, remember to be proud, say you’re not a slut just because you had like 2,500 partners. I’m sure your truly loved partner will be sure that your devotion, attachement and feeling is unique and true…
May 28, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Yes, i have completely fell for more than one…actually two. One died of a heart attack and the other moved to Asia for work. Attachement and feeling is unique and true..so who says that you have to have that for just one… This life is not for the limited.
May 28, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Joy to the world, let’s plough ‘em all !
Let’s get rid of the “limits”.
May 28, 2008 at 12:50 pm
If that is your choice then do it…but i go for the connection not just the sex…I think that is what you would call a SLUT (LOL)
May 28, 2008 at 12:53 pm
ever heard of sarcasm?
May 28, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Sorry, they did not teach that at Oxford (LOL).
May 28, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I have always told people to do what they want to do, and unfortunately they don’t like my saying that. I’ve known guys who’ve slept around constantly, or used illegal drugs to the point of wild abandon, but I’ve never criticized them. “It’s your life; do what you want,” has been my words to them.
However, years later I’ll have someone come to me who has HIV or who went to jail over drug selling and ask me why I didn’t criticize them or tell them what to do. “I’m not your parent” was, and has been my response. I’m not in charge of them, nor would they have taken any advice I may have given them.
As far as sluts are concerned, God must be the biggest one in the universe–after all, look at all the children she has! And her son, Jesus, is in jail. Ask any piously reformed convict where they found Jesus, and they will say “in prison.”
May 28, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I have had many good times and bad times in my life. I have found that if you are honest and open about everything in you life then no one has the upper hand. You do get what you deserve in life and I have that now. I have lived a good life and treated people with respect and given many people a great deal of dignity, and will continue for many years.
May 28, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Sluts of the world unite!
As long as it involves consenting adults and precautions against disease transmission, lots of sex should be supported by all correct-thinking physicians and politicians.
It’s good cardio, no or low-calorie ( depending on what you swallow), cheap, environmental-friendly (save water-shower with a friend), great for relieving stress, and usually involves no harm to animals!
May 28, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Rock on! POWER TO THE SLUTS!!!
May 28, 2008 at 11:43 pm
Irisgirl you are awesome!
May 29, 2008 at 10:46 am
thank you!
May 28, 2008 at 2:44 pm
What is a slut for me :
A slut – is someone who lusts for his partner with a view to satisfy his libido, regardless of him, who keeps this relation up only in this goal and doesn’t wish to implicate himself in a love affair and is furthermore capable, without feeling the merest guilt, to change him cold turkey, because he decided that he had enough of him and therefore it was time he goes hunting again for a new one.
- and No, i’m not.
May 28, 2008 at 2:48 pm
- i just wanted to write : who lust for “a partner”
May 28, 2008 at 3:54 pm
man…there are some real boor’s writing today.
May 28, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Not that I am a follower of the terms polyamory endorses, but I am a follower of the philosophythat one inevitably develops relationships with others no matter what. These relationships can be just as much physical as emotional, and each one can be different from another.
I’m married, but sleeping with other boys and building a unique relationship with them doesn’t affect what my husband and I have. Everyone is honest with all parties involved.
A slut? maybe, but I don’t really see sex as anything other than something fun you can do with friends, or people you care about. There’s my two cents.
May 28, 2008 at 4:33 pm
As a species, the human male is about quantity (thus the stud reference if he spreads his seed often) and the human female is about quality (thus the term slut if she is not selective). Gays that buy into judeo christian programming as it involves male/female roles will no doubt confuse gender expectation thus gays using the term slut in reference to one another. Personally I’ve heard the term ‘slut’ used more often amongst younger twinks, and seldom amongsts the older masculine oriented guys. With that said, what is the sluty.est thing you’ve ever done Davey?!!?
May 28, 2008 at 6:15 pm
The problem comes when someone who doesn’t take seriously and is there just to get off crosses paths with someone who does take it seriously and reads into things more than what the other person wants. Sluts hurt the people who actually are convinced that sex is special and is shared between two people who actually give a damn about each other. I have been hurt a lot by this form of thinking. There have been times when I thought the other guy really cared about me and all he was after was another notch on his bedpost. I also feel that homosexuals have been stereotyped as being all about sex and shallow. I don’t know about the rest of you but there is more to me than just sex and how many people I have slept with. If we want equal treatment and people to take us seriously we need to stop the shallowness. No wonder they don’t think we are serious about marriage after reading a lot of the above comments.
May 28, 2008 at 6:54 pm
amen brother
May 29, 2008 at 12:17 am
There can be (and often is) more to a person than who they have slept with, even if they sleep with a lot of people. Why is sex shallow? Why should my legal rights with my partner be any less than anyone else’s just because the arrangement we make regarding our sex lives don’t match the ‘tradition’?
The answer to the first is “it isn’t – even if you have a lot of it” and the answer to the second is “they shouldn’t”.
This is an example of buying into the social mores that don’t serve our community. Monogamy is fine, if that’s what you’re into… but why does that mean that everyone else has to follow your rules? Who are you to say? Who is are the right-wingers to say?
May 29, 2008 at 3:38 pm
couldn’t have put it better myself
May 30, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Maybe in some areas we are more like out heterosexual brothers and sisters than we want to admit! it’s not about sex it’s the relationship, or the lack thereof, some good examples, some bad examples, some no examples at all. it’s about an other self and yourself and how you perceive one an other. sex, yes, but work on the relationship if you are seriously involved. or make the best of your slutism!
May 28, 2008 at 7:04 pm
But what if you are in a relationship and then you find out that your partner has sexual relations with others. How can you deal with it? Coz sex is sex and love is love, when you can not balance them appropriately, the consequences are unthinkable. People who have bunch of partners are always saying that having too much sex with others is OK as long as not hurting them. But how can you tell that you haven’t hurt one of your partners’ feeling. Promiscuousness is just another way that people get to know the truth, and it takes much longer to get the answer than usual.
May 28, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I am curious about this one because right now I am sleeping with a guy who is partnered. I don’t want to judge him, but at the same time, I feel less attracted to him because of that. Is promiscuity same as cheating?
May 28, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Depends. If his partner knows about it and its within the bounds of their relationship, then you’re not cheating. If he’s lying to his partner, then yes, you are engaging in empty sex.
May 28, 2008 at 11:56 pm
What does exactly “bounds of relationship” mean? If you think you are in a relationship with your partner(Maybe he doesn’t think the same way) and then you figure out that your partner is fooling around with other dudes, what can you do with it? Because your partner hasn’t made any promise to you about this relationship, but he definitely gives you the feeling, well I better say he brings you into an illusion which makes you feel that you guys are in a relation. Then you ask him why he still plays with other guys, he can just say “coz we don’t have any bounds between us”, so even though you really do put your affection into this “fake” relation, you are still just another sacrifice of this no-love-only-sex relationship.
Actually, I have no clue about homosexual love because there are so many unreals in it.
May 29, 2008 at 9:04 am
It means what it sounds like. Every relationship is different and thus has different rules, or boundaries, that the partners establish. In most conventional relationships, sleeping with someone else is cheating and grounds for a break-up.
What “cheating” is, exactly, is when you go against the rules and boundaries of your relationship. If you and your partner establish a set of rules, As long as those rules are observed, there is no cheating involved.
In your particular case, Matt… If the guy you are sleeping with is keeping this a secret from his partner, then yes… It most likely is outside the bounds of the relationship, and it is cheating… and I would argue that you have no reason to trust him whatsoever since he’s willing to be so dishonest with his boyfriend.
May 28, 2008 at 7:57 pm
How many sexual partners is enough to be happy? Seems like those of the so called “slut” mind set have missed the mark. It becomes all to easy to justify one’s behavior in the name of exploring one’s authentic path. Yet evidence abounds that teaches otherwise. Guru’s across many spiritual, alternative and holistic ways of thinking agree that “slutfullness” is not a path to joy, happiness, and peace. Some of the most miserable people I know use, and get used by others. An introspective and honest person admits that there is a difference between love and lust. Real love cares and wants the best, long-term, for another. Lust is selfishness that delivers a few moments of pleasure but no lasting meaning. The emptiness soon returns and the next ‘fix’ of lust is needed. Lust is a counterfeit that deceives so many away from the path of true, deep, and abiding love. Starting relationships with sex is back-asswards. Sex is the pinnacle not the beginning of love based relationships. Too many want to control and force love having learned to model lust behaviors from Hollywood. Don’t believe me? How many celebrities with all their money, power, and fame manage to keep love in their relationships? For a moment, consider that it was never based on love but lust.
May 29, 2008 at 12:27 am
@dave:
When you can present your evidence without relying on “gurus” and “spiritual, alternative, and holistic ways of thinking” you may have a convincing argument. In the meantime, there is some considerable *scientific* evidence to suggest that humans aren’t biologically wired for monogamy, and that it is only a result of our relatively ‘advanced’ society over the last several thousand years that the concept has really come into being for us.
Before you go touting the examples in Hollywood, also consider the other factors such as money, careers, and media pressure which weigh heavily on celebrity marriages.
Some aren’t seeking “lasting meaning” from all of their sexual partners. Many people, both gay and straight, maintain happy and honest open relationships that do a good job of balancing love and lust. I am one of them. Just because ‘spiritual gurus’ teach monogamy doesn’t mean that’s the only way to happiness.
May 29, 2008 at 6:22 am
My evidence is my own life, my partner’s, and my close friends. Requiring me to throw out the wisdom of others is rubbish. To think owe’s own wisdom exceeds the collective wisdom of the universe is like a child having a tantrum and not getting his or her way. Sorry to hear your a “victim” of lust and have no self control. The instincts may be strong, but the irony is in controlling them is the greatest happiness. Couples who are willing to pay the price can have a deeper level of happiness. But you have to get out of denial first my friend.
May 29, 2008 at 8:33 am
wow Dave…you go…man, you have spoken the truth from your heart.
love it
May 28, 2008 at 8:11 pm
when do we get to see pix of davey and will naked together?????????????
how about a video, that would be cool
May 28, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Now THAT I’d buy!!
May 29, 2008 at 8:43 am
George Bush is a slut! = one who abuses their power, insatiably, only for their own benefit, not giving a s**t about who suffers what because of them.
As for sex, do what yopu do, but do no harm.
Be well,
May 29, 2008 at 2:53 pm
HEY Davey Wavey….
download
“DO I LOOK LIKE A SLUT” by a band from New York’s Avenue D, they are actually called Aveunue D.
You may also want to download MGMT “Time to Pretend” – song of the Summer for hipsters…oops label haha
May 29, 2008 at 2:54 pm
HEY Davey Wavey….
download
“DO I LOOK LIKE A SLUT” by a band from New York’s Avenue D, they are actually called Aveunue D.
You may also want to download MGMT “Time to Pretend” – song of the Summer for hipsters…oops label haha
May 29, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Ah to be a slut…..
I think that term “slut” is for women or men who “Take it” way too often, and its not like its a bad thing. The whole story behind it is like this, imagine a Big Dick…..ok not that big…. and this huge dick has 2 choice holes, one is a tight virgin, the other one is a more experienced one, which one will feel better?. Tighty whitey or loosey Goosey, its anyones choice. Fresh meat always has room for improvement, on the other hand experience has plenty of things to give….and im not talking Obama or Hillary.
If someone is a Slut, well, good for them they have one less thing to worry about. And those who arent labeled Sluts, well they secretly wish they were, Cuz hey, when the juices get flowing they Gots to Come out!
In my Opinion at least, good sex life is paired with variety, but not necessarily with a variety of partners, but a variety of exercises, behaviors, gestures, Romance is always good for it rather than a Lest get drunk and Have sex huh!
The kamasutra (depending on which version) has a lot of good tips, but its best when you come up with your own techniques, invent some, share the ones you do…or at least the ones you learned.
June 1, 2008 at 12:07 am
I’m not a slut. I’m just not wired that way. I think sluts probably have a ton of fun though and in my next life I wouldn’t mind coming back as one, LOL, at least in my teens and twenties.
Having said all that, I think there’s a shelf life for sluttiness. If you’re stil a slut past 30 and can’t form relationships, then all you are is a sex addict and like most addictions that ends badly.
June 4, 2008 at 11:55 pm
“(straight guys that have many partners are considered “studs”) and strongest among women (women that have many partners are considered “sluts”)”
i think this is simply beacause its so easy for a girl to open to legs and “get it” VS guys who have to have game to get with a girl its more work/
July 9, 2008 at 10:51 am
you certainly know how to stir people up, i think its great you get people taking, and your very fit as well, keep up the good work, and forget those sad little folk who send nasty stuff, i think they protest too much, stay sexy.
April 12, 2010 at 6:40 pm
no really…women who have had sex with many people have no respect for themselves. it is PATHETIC. women should not just give away their own bodies its f*****g gross.
i hate sluts. if you are 25 and have had more than 10 sex partners…you are a SLUT and you should look at yourself as a loser and weak minded brainless bitch.
May 16, 2010 at 10:06 pm
well im never calling the kettle black because i can say that im 19 almost 20 and have only had 2 sexual relationships in my entire life, and those two times i have had a ring on my finger, plans for the future, and a one year anniversary under my belt, so when i call you a slut your a slut and theres nothing anyone can defend you with because ive never done something like you have. to rub it in your face more im with the second guy still and its been a year and a half so far . girls think its ok to have sex just because a guy says ” but i love you” being a slut isnt about how many times youve f****d, its with how many guys. think of it as a sandwich. if lots of people have bitten off that same sandwich, by the 4th person, the sandwich is messy, tossed arround, and gross looking. nobody wants to eat the same sandwich everyone else has. for my wedding day, im also not wearing a white dresss because white was originally meaning purity. ladys, when you take your tossed arround sandwich down the isle in your white dress just remember its false advertising.
June 1, 2010 at 8:30 pm
Seriously? This is why the economy is the way it is. Get off your arses and do some work instead of moping about how little your ‘getting’.
I’m 17, had the same boyfriend since I was 12. Sexually active for 3 years. But to be perfectly honest i repect everyone, except for anyone wasting their time to read this.
I have my own business (Moved up a year in high school, left school with tops grades but decided it wasn’t for me) and am just doing some market research if you must know. I’m not a hypocrite.
I’m am Atheist as well.
July 11, 2010 at 9:01 pm
Well, im 16. and i dont think their is anything wrong with haveing more than one sexual partner. its fun, and i personally like it. i dont have sex for an exchange of girfts or money, so i dont think i have a problem. i like sex. it feels good. so why wouldnt i like it? i also like girls. double the fun. people who critisise others sexuality is insecure about their own sexuality. im very comftable with mine, and dont see a problem with it. people do call me a slut, but at the end of the day. im actually getting some.
December 1, 2010 at 1:15 am
please look my web site, say norm or no
medidas para eliminar el terrorismo internacional
debbie galston
kobalt tool boxes parts
animalescojiendomujeres
ministerio de la secretaria de la presidencia venezuela
maria mena im on your side
nerf football shoots out of p***y
cerita kisah seks indonesia
modelo de carta para solicitar trabajo
mary j blige i love you
muerte de guia en el aconcagua
movidas varias ven a cenar conmigo
kisah benar sex cikgu
moraleja de la fabula el galan y la dama
materiales para realizar un circuito electrico
playhouse roof trusseslayhouse%20roof%20tr
choti fuddi
medios de trabajo de la comunidad primitiva
corel x3 ativa o
domaci porno filmofi
cp cheats binweevils.com
face, babies, make your own, photo, generator
mana si no te hubieras ido mp3
ministerio publico fiscal de lomas de zamora
datuk main dengan cucu
janda nude
marty brem wenn du da bist
piano di indirizzo territoriale della toscana
mira mi corazon como pasa el tiempo
pge turow zgorzelec v polpharma starogard gdanski
making thick friendship bracelets
mear y no echar gota significado
free kp horoscope rajasthan download
pillar for the love of the game 2008
free printable make your own monogram fonts
chachi ki chut
montreal to new york by bus
3 guys one hammer
my last stand walls of jericho lyrics
mi amor vas a extrañar mdo
martin luis guzman el aguila y la serpiente
kumpulan cerita dewasa ngentot sedarah
karanje matorke
pea in a pod photo prop
joseph p martino poetry
mapas de san clemente del tuyu
cnc letter templates
modelo del impuesto de transmisiones patrimoniales
musica k paz de la sierra
freeprono
mercado de la puerta de toledo
modelo de solicitud de nacionalidad española
diasimes ellinides
maximo a cobrar en el paro
ganf signs folk gd 74
fauji ne kiya balatkar
main seks dengan datin
monte de san pedro a coruña
cna entrance exam
modulo de descargas para joomla 1.5
man will not merely endure he will prevail speech
java baby name generator
mariano el tatuador de los famosos
piratas del caribe el cofre del hombre muerto torrent
free lustful laugh nurse
doll hospital, oregon
monumento gallego en los muertos van deprisa
me despierto y ya te tengo ganas
pie de la cuesta casa blanca
halimbawa ng komposisyon sa pagsulat
large sagging testicles
free download hong kong actress sex movies
mortal kombat vs dc universe trucos
metallica and justice for all taringa
music for our friends select 2008 torrent
music is a part of me
piramide del sistema capitalista en español
cerita ngewe kontol besar
museo de la iglesia san francisco
me va a extrañar montaner letra
my heart always be with you
cute girl rape kiya chudai story
piramide del cerro de la estrella
mortal kombat 5 for pc download
chootland
maa/ bhabi stories
anggi budak sex 1
how to make cotton wallet
doogfucking
hackfacebookpassword.com code generator
mise a disposition dune somme a caractere alimentaire
free nx for ca
midpoint rule integral calculator
homemade art in a babies room
mercedes benz of south orlando florida
kristi shepherd miami
meizu m6 no resource please upgrade resource again
pin up photographers in los angeles
musica de hsm 3 la graduacion
bhan ki sas ko choda
March 30, 2011 at 3:55 am
Mike in all due respect sex is not sin dude. Sounds like you feel a lot of guilt dude. Sorry. Fred
March 30, 2011 at 3:57 am
For me I am not concerned about what other people think. It is what I think that is important.
March 30, 2011 at 3:57 am
Amen
March 30, 2011 at 3:59 am
Thank you.
March 30, 2011 at 4:02 am
Yes he does. And likes the experienced partner that he has.
March 30, 2011 at 4:04 am
What would be the point Mike. Have you ever herd live and let live. Your thoughts are yours. You cant force anyone to believe your journey. I am happy for you because you are happy. Or are you.
March 30, 2011 at 4:08 am
Yes the connection is what give the most feeling. After that the sex is optional.
March 30, 2011 at 4:18 am
Who are you kidding. I have never met another gay man that wasent interested in looking at another dudes penis. Sometimes I think this high and mighty attitude is just a try at having some ego. Dont you just love how judgmental a group can be of each other. Straight men would never do this to each other. With straight men the more the merrier. That is how men are made. Spread the seed. Why do we have the need to act and think like women?
March 30, 2011 at 4:23 am
I wonder if Mike has a sex drive at all? Is he straight or gay? What ever he is I feel sorry for him and should love him even more. I am so glad that I don’t have to be closed minded and judge others or at least try not to. (not perfect or even close)
March 30, 2011 at 4:25 am
You can accept it or get rid of him. What else is there to do?
March 30, 2011 at 4:30 am
The road to perfection is long and never ending. Some like you find it before others. It is what we learn in our own time that is important. It is not important what others think of our journey.
March 30, 2011 at 4:37 am
So true. Sex is sex. In all my years I never put conditions on a sex partner. On the other hand my love partner and I have closer feelings. Sex and love are not close to being the same. We can have sex without love or love without sex. We create out own world.
March 30, 2011 at 4:41 am
Dear Mike I am so sorry that a sex topic would upset you so much. What is going on with you. I would wonder what background you have come from. Are you straight or gay? Do you even have a partner to enjoy sex with? You seem to believe in Religion so that would mean that you would not judge others, correct.
March 30, 2011 at 4:51 am
omg
March 30, 2011 at 4:57 am
WTF
Pingback: cjanis611
July 22, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Cut to the chase and just say you have gay pride. :L *trollface*