I’m the first person not to take life too seriously. A little humor – and the occasional penis joke – can go a long way. But not everything is funny – especially gay jokes.
When you laugh at someone’s sexual orientation, it makes paves the way for name-calling and then bullying. It creates a foundation that becomes a very slippery slope to homophobia. And while most people making gay jokes don’t intend to contribute to the mistreatment of LGBT people, I think we need to take responsibility for the words that come out of our mouths – and how they may impact others.
To that end, check out today’s impromptu talky blog (which I recorded after watching the new Sherlock Holmes movie) via my second YouTube channel, Davey Wavey Raw.
January 24, 2012 at 1:46 am
Hi there.
I have been on the receiving end of gay jokes and have made gay jokes. To me personally, it’s not the joke that offends, but the way in which it is expressed. Words carry power yes I know. But words accompanied with emotion, especially hate and intolerance, are even more dangerous.
I can take a joke but, when you fire at me with blatant disregard, be prepared to be fired at. Yes sure I know it’s not the right thing to do. But if you don’t stand up for yourself, everybody will think it’s ok to tell a gay joke or make a derogatory comment.
January 24, 2012 at 2:59 am
@Bevan petersen:
Totally right,Bevan!_I tried today something similar a few hours ago:The delivery/expression of the jokester’s comment is everything.One should also try to be “cool” when on the receiving end of the joke,careful not to jump to the defense too quickly/too often,I think.
January 24, 2012 at 4:12 am
I understand where you are coming from and see how this video is emotionally charged for you, but I think your being a little oversensitive. You are talking about jokes that you deem inappropriate because they single out an identifiable group, in this case homosexuals. If we were to denounce all jokes that are aimed against specific groups then we’d hardly have anything to feel comfortable laughing at anymore. I mean, just completely get rid of 90% of all stand up routines right now, because almost all of them joke about identifiable groups. As others have noted it is more a matter of tone of a joke.
January 24, 2012 at 4:42 am
We have 6 senses. The sixth is “humor”. I know many gay people who know that humor can be a great defuser of hatred. I remember the “Out There” comedy specials of GLBT comedians and they all made sort of fun of themselves in their humor. I learned “Laugh at yourself first so you will be apart of the joke not the butt of the joke.” I remember Don Rickles. He insulted everybody but there were just jokes. You knew there was no harm meant. Groucho Marxs (Google him you youngsters) was upset because on the movie screen he was always insulting people and in real life people still took them as jokes and he couldn’t really insult people. Then there was other comedians you knew were just being insulting for shock value. They didn’t last long.
Humor can heal was well as harm. We mustn’t stop all humor because the healing is so needed. Laugh and the world laughs with you. If you laugh in front of you enemies, don’t you know it will really p*ss them off! So laugh away! That means YOU have the power not them!
January 24, 2012 at 8:57 am
Gay jokes are just as funny as racist jokes. That is to say, not at all.
January 24, 2012 at 10:20 am
Davey… I ‘get’ what you saw. I’m sorry that your experience growing up was such a negative one.
The character of Sherlock Holmes in the last 30 years has been portrayed as odd and out of place. For those that also feel ‘odd and out of place’ it is interesting to see how this character deals with that feeling.
You only have to look at the Sherlock Holmes TV series which starred Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes and Edward Hardwicke as Dr Watson to understand what the Sherlock Holmes character is about.
The current Sherlock Holmes series directed by Guy Ritchie is a watered down version of that, but still the same sense of the character is there.
When they are on the floor in the train carriage I interpreted it as the Sherlock Holmes character’s plan not going exactly as he imagined. To me when they danced at the party it was Sherlock Holmes’ way of trying to make a final connection with his friend before going off to meet Moriarty.
In the end this was just a movie and not a very good one.
I don’t know why you would give this piece of fluff movie so much of your energy.
January 24, 2012 at 10:52 am
Oh… I know how that is… Let your co-workers have fun with 1 miserable little gay joke and you won’t hear the end of it!!!
(Specially if you have underage douchebags teenagers as co-workers… I tell ya, sometimes I just want to grab the pizza paddle and smack them!!! Yes, the BIG, METAL pizza paddle!!!)
January 25, 2012 at 6:36 pm
Haha there’s 69 responses on here…
And about the video, I really think you have to take it light heartfelt and realise that’s it is just a joke!
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January 26, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Hey y’all,
Have you ever heard this one…
Two condoms walk by a gay bar. The one condom asks the other, “Hey man you wanna go get s**t faced?”. Ha ha
January 26, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Oh yah I do like gay sex sometimes too so I think I can tell that one
January 26, 2012 at 4:04 pm
and I like gay sex I think I can say that
January 27, 2012 at 12:39 pm
There is an overlooked distinction between a joke and a jibe. A joke is to make others laugh. Maybe it flops and you’re the only one laughing, but the intention is to bring a smile, laughter, defuse a stressful situation, for the benefit of other.
A jibe is the to give yourself a sense of pleasure at the expense of another.
Others have said it, and I will too. Humor is our communities’ best armor. There’s not an insult out there that we can’t look at and say there’s some truth in the words. Likewise, no bigot or homophobe can insult us better than we can make fun of ourselves. And laugh.
January 28, 2012 at 2:18 am
@jon:
Good for you,Jon__my sentiments exactly.
January 27, 2012 at 9:53 pm
I totally agree with u! But i saw Sherlock Holms, and when i saw those parts I did think that at all! I mean other people might see it that way but i never thought about that until I watched this video!
January 28, 2012 at 8:47 am
There’s a big difference in this situation. When two straight men are dancing together, it’s funny because they’re NOT gay and NOT attracted to each other. The laugh doesn’t come from a homophobic or hateful place, it comes from the fact that two straight guys SHOULD be uncomfortable dancing together, or being in a compromising position together…They’re NOT gay!
I’m gay and I’m all for gay rights and ending discrimination, but I don’t think this falls under this category. If the two guys in question were gay, or one of them definitely had feelings for the other, then the laughter at the situation would be a much different story. But I don’t see how people finding scenes like this funny is offensive at all.
January 28, 2012 at 8:25 pm
This is a little off the subject but why is it at weddings (and don’t start on that!) when two women dance together it’s fine but two guys! Heck, at all of my male friends’ weddings during the dollar dance we danced with both the bride AND the groom. One time the leader of the band announced that the bride had no one to dance with. We were all in line for the groom. All of my friends were straight but me but we were just having a grand old time plus raising a few eyebrows. I wasn;t complaining.
I guess jokes are like knives. If they a blunt they don’t even cut the skin but if they are sharp they draw blood. I think it is a matter of perspective and what the teller it REALLY meaning.
But I have to say these movies that lampoon being gay or make being gay a joke then suddenly try to be all understanding and try to show good feelings toward the GBLTQ are only kidding themselves. They make you slip on a banana peel and look foolish then feel like the Good Samaritan by helping you up. That’s just hypocracy. Or in Hollywood terms. Covering your butt. Sorry, Hollywood Execs. Calvin Kleins do it, too and they come off looking a LOT better. (And I DO mean that both ways!.)
January 30, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Davey,
Just thought I’d message as this is the first blog of yours I do not agree with.
January 30, 2012 at 2:07 pm
But couldn’t be assed to rant as I can see so many people have already!
Still have big love for you, just slightly differing view points on this issue
January 31, 2012 at 12:54 am
As a gay man who was bullied a little bit in high school, I find nothing wrong with gay jokes. I make them. I hear them, I repeat them. Humor is different for everybody; I can’t remember a single time I laughed at an Adam Sandler movie. Do I want them outlawed? Hell yes. Can I tell others how awfully his movies suck? I do. Often. That, however, is only my opinion. There are plenty of mindless simps out there who find him to be hilarious. I’ll never understand it, but those simps keep him alive. Is it hurting me personally? Not at all! People have called me a f*g more times than I’ve seen Big Daddy or Happy Gilmore, yet I’m still more upset about Mr. Sandler. My point is this: You choose how to take jokes. If you don’t see the humor, don’t laugh. Then get over it. Prove them wrong by example, don’t just complain. Personally, when I hear anyone complain about anything, my ears automatically shut off and the complainer is promptly labeled an insufferable nag in the filing cabinet of my brain. I’ve proven to many people that I am just another person who likes to tell a good joke, be it about gays, blacks, asians, jews, fat-ass americans, or any other group of whiny complainers out there. We all have to stop being so damn sensitive and see the funny things in life!
And — why is the guy in the video not wearing a shirt? Talk about perpetuating a stereotype. Way to set us all back forty years.
January 31, 2012 at 1:10 am
@Andrew:
Andrew,
I think you’re mostly right[though a little humor,even when self-deprecating,is good,long as it's not hateful].
Your comment to D.W. reminds me of the line from the old Pogo comic strip:”We have met the enemy__And they are US.”
February 15, 2012 at 12:36 pm
I am only offended when the jokes are meant to offend, luckily I’ve heard quite a few, so when it’s a joke I know I enjoy taking the wind out of their sails and completing it for them and firing back with some others. I then ask if they enjoy being an unoriginal hate monger who feels more important when they put people down. I then smile, tell them they don’t have to answer and wish them a good day.
I didn’t see the Sherlock movie and have no desire to so i can’t comment on it but maybe, hopefully, someday people will get bored with gay jokes. To film makers I say “keep it coming.” the more you flaunt homosexuality, the more people have to deal with it. To me, at least they were laughing and not boycotting the movie because of it. Seems like the lesser of two evils. And at least it wasn’t misrepresented, only odd situations misinterpreted.