When gays face criticism, it sometimes comes in the form of the physiological incompatibility of two men copulating. Though it comes down to plumbing for these critics, rest assured we gays have found ways to make it work.
In my humble opinion, the physiological barriers that gay men and women face pale in the comparison to the psychological barriers between straight partners. The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus couldn’t be any clearer when you look at the differing sexual desires between the two sexes.
When it comes to adult content on the internet geared towards men, streaming video reigns supreme. In fact, according to the data and demographics, all of the top 5 adult sites visited by men are clearinghouses for video. But what about women? Their top 5 sites all feature erotic stories.
Sure, gays might need to get a little creative in the bedroom – and think outside the box. But, as illustrated in the above example, it’s nothing compared to the much larger obstacles that straight men and women face. Men and women really aren’t on the same page. Maybe not even the same chapter. Hell, I sometimes think they’re not even reading from the same book.
And that’s why I think straight relationships just aren’t meant to be. Maybe it’s just a phase. 
November 16, 2011 at 11:13 am
Can I get an amen? haha This is the most honest statement I’ve read in quite sometime. What I wouldn’t give for some straight people to see the world from a gay/lesbians perspective haha
November 16, 2011 at 11:19 am
I am a woman and I honestly love men, especially my man. I see my guy friends and their relationships and we have the same problems and things to complain about and they’re gay. I think that straight relationships are just a little more work, because you have to understand the other view which is hard sometimes. I do see your point and I died laughing at the pictures!
P.S. I think your amazing!
November 16, 2011 at 11:21 am
On the flip side- being a straight female, I know what many women are like, how they think, the problems women deal with. This is enough to make me run screaming from the thought of having a relationship with another woman. (Sex is not a relationship, anyone can be tolerated for a few hours of fun.) This is also why I understand why men would prefer relationships with other men.
November 16, 2011 at 11:40 am
i had to smile a bit about your today post. bitterly.
when my husband 27 yrs after his coming out, 12 1/2 yrs after falling in love to me, 8 yrs in relationship with me and more than 5 yrs of marriage with me he lives in reunion with his youthlove. a woman!
since this he turned into a “super straight stud”, treats me like dirt and denies his formerly life as a “super gay”. He beared me on hands always, called me “his own hero”. But after his coming out #2 he is absolutely into that straight life (he never had!).
when i read your words i gonna wish him a really amazing life in that differences.
nonetheless no one can choose his sexuality. he will learn.
love you davey, you match my life’s circumstances so oftenly with your post. love you!
November 16, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Furthermore studies have found that, in heterosexual couples, women are less satisfied overall after they are married and men are more satisfied after they are married.
Oversimplified solution: men marry men! Then everyone will be happy!
November 16, 2011 at 1:39 pm
C’mon, Davey, aren’t you being overly simplistic in your analysis? Long-term relationships are about much more than just sex. In the best marriages, male and female complement each other’s natures. Your illogical conclusion would indicate that you are in a phase. On the other hand, the fact that so many women today choose to raise children as single parents might suggest that your conclusion has some merit.
Recently, on npr, there was a discussion of role reversal in which the wife is the breadwinner and the husband stays at home to raise the kids. I have to laugh because that is what your cartoon suggests. Mars and Venus attributes are perhaps amenable to modification.
If all men mated up with other men and all women with women, that would be an ideal world from the gay perspective. Don’t hold your breath. It ain’t gonna happen.
November 16, 2011 at 10:48 pm
Yes, Davey’s analogy was a little bit simplistic but it wasn’t necessarily without some merit — and it CERTAINLY was much more than just about sex.
I’m guessing that you have never read the book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray. If you had, you WOULD understand Davey is talking about much more than sex. Gray demonstrates how many women (perhaps even the majority) have a totally different perspective in how they look at the world and where their priorities lay, as compared to men. It isn’t that either one of the sexes is “right” but only that most women see things much differently than men; it’s as though men’s and women’s brains are wired completely differently. The interesting thing is that when I read this book, I could easily identify with the female persona even though I’m “anything but” nelly. My ex was most definitely a Martian in our relationship (he was also a dumbass but that’s neither here nor there). LOL.
You say that “in the best marriages, male and female complement each other’s natures.” I agree but I’d be remiss not to point out this is ONLY in the “best” of marriages. Let’s face it, with the divorces rates these days it’s rather obvious many don’t take the time (“go slowly enough”) to get to know their partners well enough prior to marrying — or they might have realized early on that theirs was not going to be a “match made in heaven.” This applies to both, gay and straight relationships and I think it comes from an attitude of “I want it all right now” (too many feel they are a failure and/or are worthless unless they are IN a relationship, be it healthy or otherwise). JMHO.
November 17, 2011 at 5:45 am
My parents’ generation puts the lie to Davey’s analysis. My father and his three brothers all married, raised families, and remained married until death. In my generation my two brothers each married twice, raised their families, and remained married. There is a generational difference here. The baby boom generation is much more me-oriented and has much higher expectations of what marriage is with respect to personal happiness. The liberalizing of divorce law in the 1970′s made divorce much more available. Even so, many couples wait until their children are independent before divorcing.
I believe that the different psychological profiles of men and women are the product of evolution for the propagation and survival of the human race. Put bluntly, the man is impelled to plant his seed whereever he can and the woman develops a strong bond with her children and nurtures them into adulthood. The institution of marriage may be a fairly recent development in millenial time, yet even when marriage is not a requirement, most male/female matings have remained intact perhaps for purely practical reasons. These couplings were evidently meant to be. Today, 50% of marriages end in divorce, but 50% do not. Many get it right the second time around as expectations become more realistic.
Co-dependency is a big issue in our culture and the fact that all too many people marry for co-dependent reasons has more to do with personal inadequacy than with the basic difference in the psychological profiles of men and women. This goes for both straight and gay marriages. Perhaps for your previous marriage.
Society is changing, gender roles are changing, our concept of what constitues a family is changing and perhaps the psychological profiles of men and women will change as the evolutionary process continues. In your own case, you admit that you identify with the female persona. In my own case, I can identify with both male and female personas. I speak for myself only. Am I unique? I doubt it. While I agree with the basic premise of Men are from Mars, Women from Venus, it is not the last word on the subject and there are too many exceptions to the general rule as witnessed by others’ posts on this topic.
November 16, 2011 at 1:39 pm
As a bisexual 20 year old, I can see where you’re coming from with this opinion, but I just want to say that some women see things in the same way that the cartoon depicts men’s point of view, and I’m sure some men see things from the women’s as well. Sexuality, attraction, and erotics are not thoroughly separated by gender, even when there is a huge majority leaning one way or the other. I also want to admit that there is a bit of a gender blur in my current hetero relationship, myself acting occasionally more masculine and my boyfriend more feminine, but those very conditions make for a very open mind. I encourage you to view all relationships as totally equal, regardless of the partner’s plumbing combination, and to see that gender biases are just as annoying as discrimination between orientations.
November 16, 2011 at 8:05 pm
According to research on successful relationships, attraction and compatibility is dependent more upon how the individuals’ yin/yang energy levels complement each other and less upon the gender roles the individuals assume, The question is, are gender roles inherent, as Davey’s analysis would suggest,or socially determined? I think, Hannah, you would say the latter.
November 16, 2011 at 2:45 pm
What about opposites attracting? Women and men are different from each other so they can complete each other.
November 16, 2011 at 10:57 pm
Sorry but the phrase “complete each other” is a red flag for me. No person is “incomplete” and if he (or she) is counting on another to “complete” (or “make him/her happy in life”) then that individual is unlikely to ever make the most of his/her life. One must come to love and be happy with him or herself before the individual can truly love another fully and bring all that he or she has to offer to a healthy relationship. That isn’t to say that a relationship cannot consist of one or two persons who don’t have a healthy self-esteem, but only that when such a situation exists the relationship is never as healthy or as happy as it could otherwise be. NEVER count on another to “complete you”; you will be sorely disappointed if that’s the case.
November 17, 2011 at 5:52 am
Yes, Michael M, but that is the case in every co-dependent relationship–individuals looking to complete themselves.
November 16, 2011 at 3:23 pm
As if gay relationships are meant to be. Come on, that’s such a stereotypical statement! I know hetero relationships that are very much successful. And I know gay relationships that are successful as well. But to say that one is better than the other one… It all comes down to particularities.
One can’t generalize!
November 16, 2011 at 3:23 pm
As if gay relationships are meant to be. Come on, that’s such a stereotypical statement! I know hetero relationships that are very much successful. And I know gay relationships that are successful as well. But to say that one is better than the other one… It all comes down to particularities.
One can’t generalize! Or shouldn’t!
November 16, 2011 at 4:21 pm
@davey, I love it!
@many_others_on_here… I don’t think this post was meant to be taken 100% seriously.
November 16, 2011 at 10:59 pm
To the second point you made, I agree whole-heartedly. It never ceases to amaze me how so many commenting on this blog get their knickers all tied up in knots when it’s kinda’ obvious that whatever they’re taking exception to was said tongue-in-cheek (more or less intended as humor). /laughs/
November 17, 2011 at 5:59 am
Despite DAvey’s tongue-in-cheek provocation, this is a serious issue that most individuals deal with on a daily basis. They bring a lot of emotional load to the discussion based on their personal experience.
November 16, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Um, I don’t really think that you should judge other peoples relashionships. It happens to you all the time and you know what it feels like, even if its just s joke.
November 16, 2011 at 6:58 pm
Following Davey for some time now, and I am probably preaching to the choir as it is said, no mattter what Davey says or does, and I also know he is a part of the bigger picture, he give us a liitle insight to himself as a person, and possibly an idea of his thought process, but he loves Life and the people in it, enjoying the same, making a living at it, and always opens up a vibrant discussion from people, that none of us might have not had otherwise, and he is ALWAYS entertaining, not shying away from the serious issues we read about every day. We could all be where Davey is, but in this time frame, he’s in front of the camera, and does a lot of good. I commend you for that.
November 16, 2011 at 7:13 pm
its easier for 2 men to hook-up-maybe 2 women-to hook up.we spend more time together.we have to venture out of our box.so-there might be a problem-getting out of that box.you be the judge.
November 16, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Of course we can’t generalize anything as there are always exception but we can pay attention to the basic idea of what Davey’s saying. It’s difficult to see relationships working when there’s a basic level of emotional difference.
I personally believe “opposite’s attract” is bull. We strive to share interests with our lovers, not have separate lives as a couple. I see more relationships get torn because a few years down the road, the initial attraction has cooled down and all that is left is how they get along on a basic level. Having different interests leads to a separation on multiple levels.
Not saying that hetero couples shouldn’t be able to work, but i’m amazed at how they do sometimes.
November 16, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Maybe, but the fact is straight relationships HAVE been working for thousands of years… The reason why the world thinks it needs marriage counseling and divorce now is because we are able to question our own relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I know homosexuality is far from a “new thing” (rumor has it Michelangelo was quite the twink), but the idea of gay domestic partnership is relatively new to humanity… don’t you think you might be looking at this through the lens of being a gay man?
November 16, 2011 at 8:10 pm
How dare you use ANOTHER thing from a billion wicked thoughts. (T.T) Still you have a point. The men want the women naked…. the women want the men in a suit *facepalm*
November 17, 2011 at 5:44 am
The cartoon may be funny, and true, but I disagree with the sentiment of this blog.
When it comes to romantic love, isn’t love love? Whether you are gay and in love or straight and in love isn’t it the same powerful emotion. Is there really a difference?
Granted, the mechanics of a relationship are different. As different as each person is different. All relationships take work. Not all relationships work. Not all relationships are doomed either.
My parents marriage didn’t work out, my father’s second marriage didn’t work out either. My mother has done better second time around. My grandparents were married ’til death do they part.
These are the examples I have had of relationships growing up.
Truth is, there aren’t enough examples of gay relationships documented to say there are any better or worse. Rosie O’Donnell and Melissa Etheridge are women who have separated from a female partner. Each has had to face divorce and deal with child custody rearrangements etc.
To me, you role the dice and take you chances. You never know what tomorrow may bring.
These days people expect too a lot from a relationship. The definition of relationship changes from generation to generation. But provided it’s healthy (and if sexual, between consenting adults) isn’t love love regardless or sexual identity / orientation?
November 17, 2011 at 10:30 am
I think this is just you being mean towards us straight people. =P
November 17, 2011 at 12:06 pm
hey now..straight relationships are not just a phase…..i made a CHOICE to be straight, David!
November 19, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Don’t you remember the saying; “opposites attract” ? Also You should embrace straight people as much as gay people, and in fact give the peace and love to everyone!!
November 25, 2011 at 5:49 am
Most people who have commented on this particular blog appear to have missed what appears to an Australian to be a good example of larconic humour. Pity this is the case since you have made a pithy point about perspective – it does depend where you stand as to how you see the world. The same generalisations are made as a matter of course about gay relationships and they are also wrong. Folks, lighten and enjoy.
November 26, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Although im not homophobic in the slightest, im slightly offended by the phrase Why straight relationships aren’t meant to be. They are in fact meant to be, the way the human body is designed is to breed and as far as science is concerned that’s correct?
November 26, 2011 at 9:36 pm
To be fair to Davey, I think he was discussing relationship as a meeting of the minds (Mars/Venus) and not as a meeting of the gonads. 90% of sex is in your head, or so it has been said. Male sexual fantasy as depicted in videos, and female sexual fantasy as depicted in romance novels are two different things. The one-night stand is one form of relationship; marriage til death do us part is another. Which of those was meant to be?
January 23, 2012 at 10:40 am
LOL – love your blog – despite I’m a straight woman and married over 20 years to the greatest guy in the world. Nevertheless I don’t think you’re right here. You just need to find the partner who clicks with your brain and the gender is secondary. My hubby and me, we just clicked, we think alike, we are our best friends (that is in my opinion the most important part in a relationsship) and we feel comfortable with each other.
But – we never tried to be someone else than we are and so we were never dissapointed. Mostly men and women make the mistake at the beginning of a relationship to try to be what they think the other one expects – big mistake…..
March 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm
This is ignorant you think relationships are based on just making yourself happy instead of serving others…if it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it but that’s the American dream rite? Live easy, be lazy, do nothing, im going to get mine regardless of whether you get yours…..and most straight men (including myself) actually think woman cleaning is hot too granite maybe in heels lol but we still think it’s hot, and my wife begs me to walk around the house with my shirt off so she can see my glorious pecks and abs (as she calls them lol) relationships are based on pleasing the other person not seeking to be pleased….marriage is about servant hood and selflessness, regardless of whether you straight or gay!
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