Betrayed by my butt.

November 16, 2009 | 143 Comments

I was betrayed by my butt. Okay, well not exactly.

I’ll spare you the details of my symptoms, but on Friday I realized that I needed some medical attention. Poking and prodding ensued, and a few diagnoses are being considered pending further testing. The most notable of these is colon cancer.

I know that in the larger picture of life, everything is exactly as it ought to be. Whatever it is, it’s a necessary step on my journey, be it colon cancer or anything else. And whatever I experience, it is because it’s necessary for me to evolve.

I have two hopes. My primary hope is that I’m able to become more conscious through this. My secondary hope is that the people in my life find the wisdom to palate that which they may find unpalatable.

As someone who is facing a potentially serious diagnosis, I have found great pleasure in observing the reactions of others when I declare that I’m not afraid to die. It’s a true statement; I’m not afraid to die. I’ve been saying it for years, though it was much less arousing when it seemed less likely. These reactions are reactions of ego and attachment, and I enjoy evoking them. Maybe they will shrivel up in the sunlight.

At any rate, I share this with you because you have become a part of my life. Telling you seemed like the natural next step. I owe it to you. This blog started as a journal, and this is now part of my silly little story.

And as I learn more in the upcoming weeks about my situation through further testing, I’ll share it with you.

I promise.

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143 Comments

  • At 2009.11.17 02:11, Matthew said:

    live so one day you can be my boyfriend

    • At 2009.11.17 02:12, Craig said:

      Davey. The word ‘perspective’ really is the key today. You can only focus on the now and not the ‘what if’. There is no ‘what if’.

      More information will solve the anxiety and you can then move from there.

      If you are doing your best then that is enought. :-)

      • At 2009.11.17 02:39, Don said:

        My thoughts are with you davey, Stay present :)

        • At 2009.11.17 02:47, Eddie on the Cape said:

          Get well bebe- I’m sure you’ll be fine- even if it is colon CA- you’re young and strong, you’d tolerate the treatment just fine. Attitude is 90% of recovery (okay, early diagnosis too). Keep us up to date via ur blog and we’ll all be thinking of you and sending you positive energy.

          Eddie

          • At 2009.11.17 03:00, Adam said:

            I’m excited for you, Davey Wavey! I do hope your symptoms are ameliorated, but you are in a place where either outcome is fantastic in the extreme. Thank you for expanding your sphere that we might, however passively, intersect our energies. I look forward to your news, friend. –Adam

            • At 2009.11.17 03:12, phil said:

              betrayed??? perhaps, but it is SUCH A HOT ASS!! holding thumbs for good news. look forward to hearing more…

              • At 2009.11.17 03:59, garrett said:

                Davey I hope all goes well and will look forward to hearing updates (hopefuly that all is well) i think you are a great person yand makes the world better!

                With your view of dying i think that is great. But I dont get the paet about peoples reactions being out of ego and attachment. Not wanting to live has nothing to do with ego I dont think.

                Praying for you. I dont really think praying does anything tho. I mean God has His plan for your journey, why would He listen to me, or anyone, to change that. If He did no one would ever die and we would all have won the lottery. But you are still in my thoughts

                • At 2009.11.17 05:39, Evan said:

                  I don’t know what your symptoms are that made you seek medical attention, but if it is just some bleeding or something, I would relax, it’s just hemorrhoids.

                  I find it extremely unlikely that someone as healthy and young as you, who exercises regularly, doesn’t drink, smoke, or engage in other unhealthy behavior, would have colon cancer.

                  Even if you had colon cancer I’d be more than willing to eat your ass.

                  • At 2009.11.17 06:41, eric said:

                    David,

                    The following sentence is ONLY written to force you to smile :

                    “Sometimes when one is ill one has the tendency to immediately consider the worse and by sometimes I mean always!”

                    and THAT IS NOT REASONNABLE!

                    I won’t say much but I’m really sad you have health problems.

                    It is wiser to wait and not to brood about all possible diseases. I’m sure the future will teach you it wasn’t as serious as you have thought at first. I’m not a soothsayer, but I’m sure to hear you say in the next days: WHAT A RELIEF!

                    My best thoughts.
                    bye,

                    • At 2009.11.17 06:41, joey by the bay said:

                      Theresa, I wish you and Ty, continued peace of heart, mind and soul, health, strength and courage in your life’s journey. As I wish these things for Davey too. We are all indeed lucky for stumbling upon Davey’s site. And you and Ty are lucky to have each other as support. Peace out . . .

                      • At 2009.11.17 06:44, Oliver Cooper said:

                        Oh my it took alot to share this with use, and if you ever need someone to talk to im here here for you. You can just email me at olivercooper21@yahoo.com
                        i hope its not cancer
                        best wishes
                        Oliver

                        • At 2009.11.17 06:53, Lunaris said:

                          I sincerely hope that it turns out not to be cancer, even if you are not afraid to die, because it would just kill everone who loves you if you did. But it’s always a real possibility to everyone, so just hope for the best, if ur religious, pray, and live to the fullest, thats all I can say.

                          • At 2009.11.17 07:03, Michael said:

                            Davey, You’re right, there is no fear in dying. I try to remember, ‘everything all the time’, as in that which is perfect. Having said that I would hope that your eventual diagnoses is something other than colon cancer. If it is there is nothing that can be done except to accept it and choose a course of action, or inaction. Take care.

                            • At 2009.11.17 07:14, Sanne said:

                              Well, you may not be afraid to die (which i think is a good way of thinking), but i would hate it if you did. I think you’re a terrific person, absolutely fab at being you, and you are a real price for this world. It would really, totally suck if you’d die.

                              But let’s not get to sentimental already, might *just* be an STD or something else less harmful.

                              I wish you the best!
                              love you
                              xx

                              • At 2009.11.17 07:20, Francois said:

                                Thank you for sharing. There is no reason to be afraid to die. You are here for a reason and if your time to continue is here, so be it. You are the master of your universe. Thank you for touching my life as well. I can only hope that it will continue, but this is sadly not in my hands. Love always …

                                • At 2009.11.17 07:23, tony said:

                                  Keep your positive attitude. Mine helped me thru several things. In 2002 I had a major artery replaced from my tits down into both legs, in 2007 I had a stroke then in 2008 a heart attack & surgery. I heard from many people including my doctors that it was my positive attitude that got me thru all of these things. Use yours Davey. Smile thru all the test and poking. That’s what will heal you, that and all of us sending good vibes to you.

                                  • At 2009.11.17 07:34, jupiteron said:

                                    If you can go to that place in your being where you can be neutral toward any outcome, and surrender your will to your true self, you will discover the peace that you need to survive this ordeal. You CAN do it. Crying is obligatory if you need help.

                                    • At 2009.11.17 07:38, ANTHONY said:

                                      i will be praying for you davey……… i hope everything turns out to be ok with you. i enjoy reading your blogs…… be strong take care antony from ny.

                                      • At 2009.11.17 07:52, DAVID said:

                                        Davey Wavey..Come back to Jerszzy..I will take care of you as always..Love “your” David

                                        • At 2009.11.17 08:05, Steve said:

                                          With all the positive energy going your way, RI will be the best place in the world to be right now. I am sure that others will also benefit from all the universal good will that is headed to that area of the universe.
                                          My other half of 25 years and I have laughed, smiled, gained wisdom and grown through your blogs and we have discussed your situation. Both of us agree that your wisdom and attitude will take you to the place you need to be, so hang in there and know that the universe will decide your fate and it will all be good.

                                          • At 2009.11.17 08:17, Dwight said:

                                            We are thinking and praying for you Davey – you are a big part of our lives too….

                                            • At 2009.11.17 08:24, Louis said:

                                              I’m sending good thoughts your way. I hope things work out the way you want them to.

                                              • At 2009.11.17 08:28, Joel said:

                                                Take care, Davey. You will doubtless have a colonoscopy, and that, together with a biopsy, will give a definite diagnosis. If caught early, colon cancer is very much curable, so long as it has not spread to some other part of your body.

                                                My wife was diagnosed with colon cancer several years ago. Unfortunately, it had spread to the liver, and then to the lungs. Nevertheless, after surgery and chemotherapy, she is currently showing no evidence of disease, and feels fine.

                                                Google “colon cancer support groups” and you will find some good information.

                                                • At 2009.11.17 08:31, "Celtboy"Gary said:

                                                  Thinking about you and sending all good energies your way.

                                                  xxoo

                                                  Gary

                                                  • At 2009.11.17 08:31, davvi said:

                                                    Davey!! i know that if the diagnosis turns-up to be malignant then God will heal you! But as Richard Haines sez(says): stay positive and it will-not-be cancer. And like everyone here, i “Love-You”, Davey :-) !!! You’ve done “Sooo-Muchy!” for me. Although i Trust-in-God that All will be “Fine” with You, i’m still moved-to-tears as i type-this. And i don’t claim to be a fine christian, but i’m still-aware that God is “All-Powerful” and He gave-us our “mind” to use in all positive ways, such as healing-ourselves by “Positive-thought” through Him, also similar to what Richard Haines was saying. Don’t forget Davey that you’re “In-my-heart,” :-) as Always! And thanks-again to you, Davey and everyone-else here, as we’re All “Rooting-For” You ;-) !!! Much Love, … … … davvi

                                                    • At 2009.11.17 08:35, Rich said:

                                                      First and foremost I hope and pray that it is not colon cancer or any other hideous, life threatening disease. However, if it turns out to be the unthinkable and even though you are “not afraid to die” I hope you fight! And when I mean fight I mean fight like you have never fought before! Fight dirty! Fight long and fight hard! Fight with ever fiber of your being! Fight, fight, fight!
                                                      You may “not be afraid to die” but there are so many people in your life who are afraid for you to die and the world needs more people like you! Whenever I need a pick me up or a smile, I fantasize that world is full of kind, caring, loving and accepting individuals like you and I feel immensely better. You are an amazing guy and this world needs you around for a long, long time.

                                                      • At 2009.11.17 08:48, Mark (from Toronto) said:

                                                        I think you may be jumping to conclusions unnecessarily. You have symptoms now, not a diagnosis of cancer. It is very unwise to alarm yourself, or other people with what might be, or what could be or any other possibility. The imagination can come up with innumerable scenarios and outcomes. You talk about living in the moment — this is a good time to practice that. Wait, quietly, until you have a doctor’s diagnosis before talking of dealing with cancer or the possibility of facing death. That is over-dramatization of the actual situation that you are facing. It is good for everyone to learn to live in the moment and just deal with the actual, current situation.

                                                        This is not being insensitive to the symptoms that you have, but it is not wise to put out potentially emotional statements that have not yet been proven to be true.

                                                        • At 2009.11.17 09:03, Tom said:

                                                          Hang in there, Davey. My prayers and thoughts are with you. But I concur that it is unlikely at your age to have colorectal cancer. There are many other reasons for bleeding. Hopefully that will be the case. xoxo

                                                          • At 2009.11.17 09:18, gnjen said:

                                                            Whether it is a cancer or not, the point of everything is how you deal with it… And I wish you to be strong and to know that Life is giving us exactly how much we can bear… As I just saw a title and a picture, I wanted to say “how can such a nice butt betray you?” but in a way I find it inappropriate at the moment… anyway, I wish you the best, and whatever happens, it will be the best, and not because I say so, or we say so, or anyone choose so, but because Life will always send what is best for you, for everyone, in one way, or another. Be strong, I love you, and am with you…

                                                            • At 2009.11.17 09:31, Nick said:

                                                              Dave, Wishing you the best ! …. Nick

                                                              • At 2009.11.17 10:17, christopher said:

                                                                stay positive-as you always do-youll make it through this rough patch-i know you will.

                                                                • At 2009.11.17 10:18, Jason said:

                                                                  I’m sorry to hear this Davey. I’ll be thinking of you every day.

                                                                  • At 2009.11.17 10:23, maximo said:

                                                                    peace be with you,davey

                                                                    • At 2009.11.17 10:47, Vance said:

                                                                      I have a wish that I’ve been saying out loud to people, and it is that I hope they have good health and good journeys.

                                                                      I’m glad you’re not like a stereotype that has been mentioned to me of being a man that is rarely seen by the doctor unless something is leaking or needing to be put back on or in a cast.

                                                                      • At 2009.11.17 10:48, David Dorian said:

                                                                        Wishing You The Best!
                                                                        David Dorian

                                                                        • At 2009.11.17 11:21, James Butler said:

                                                                          Hope all work’s out ok for you!

                                                                          • At 2009.11.17 11:25, Chris said:

                                                                            Sending you and your butt much love, Davey.

                                                                            • At 2009.11.17 11:59, Dorian said:

                                                                              Where I honestly feel for Davey, no medical diagnosis is fun, be it cancer or a simple STI like the clap. This is an excellent opportunity for everyone out there to know a few things: Even if you are young, and healthy and work out…. yer not immune from cancer (this is sparked by an earlier post). Sexually active gay men should be regularly screened for anal cancer (speak to your doctor). And while there is nothing wrong with crying, grieving , being upset, etc., a shocking diagnosis need not bring your world tumbling down. For example, when I got my HIV+ diagnosis, I didn’t cry, scream, shout, get angry, etc., because I knew that I was at fault. If you know you are doing what is healthy, while it sucks to get sick, sometimes things just are…. I wish all the best to you Davey, and hope you have a minor diagnosis, but know that you a ton of people to talk to if it isn’t so minor.

                                                                              • At 2009.11.17 12:02, Jake&Cody said:

                                                                                DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You better believe I’m gonna be making my voice hoarse with prayers. Me and Cody(BF) love you so much and really love your site. Hope you get better!!!!

                                                                                Love,
                                                                                Jake&Cody

                                                                                • At 2009.11.17 12:14, Bob said:

                                                                                  If you are going to brave, then so must I. I hope for the best. You really are unique.

                                                                                  • At 2009.11.17 12:42, Cliveey said:

                                                                                    Oh boy do you have fun to come…..
                                                                                    When the man sticks a foot long needle up there and asks with surprise that you can feel it….
                                                                                    … and you feel like turning round and thumping his and saking whether he feels that.
                                                                                    **
                                                                                    Sorry Davey but this is an exercise in pain not philosphy.
                                                                                    You cannot avoid this one.
                                                                                    Reality has arrived in the Davey Wonderland.
                                                                                    What have you been doing for such a thing to happen to you?

                                                                                    • At 2009.11.17 13:31, rick said:

                                                                                      Davey..
                                                                                      Sending you some positive energy from L.A. [yes, it IS possible! ] as well as healing thoughts.

                                                                                      “It ain’t over [diagnosis] til the FAT LADY [your doc's] SINGS [prognosis]!
                                                                                      xoRick

                                                                                      ps: If I can make myself the promise of overcoming a brain virus and becoming 100% functional once again, you have that same ability!
                                                                                      xo

                                                                                      • At 2009.11.17 13:37, ally said:

                                                                                        I pray you don’t have cancer. You are still so young and have such a positive energy that would be a shame to have you suffer something that could cut that energy. Whether you do or don’t I wish you love and strength. Love.Peace.Hope.

                                                                                        • At 2009.11.17 13:40, Grantt said:

                                                                                          Until you know something, there is nothing. If something is determined you can handle it. You can not fight the unknown. You have a team of friends here. Chin up, Davey. We’re here.

                                                                                          • At 2009.11.17 13:50, keith said:

                                                                                            Wishing the best for you, confident that whatever you must face you will be able to. Peace.

                                                                                            • At 2009.11.17 13:57, John B said:

                                                                                              Davey, it is so easy to say something like “fear the worst and hope for the best” but it seems so cliched. I hope and pray that the diagnosis is NOT the big “C”. I hope you have a core of friends and family close to you to help you through this. On the lighter side, you do have a cute butt.

                                                                                              • At 2009.11.17 14:17, Hilary said:

                                                                                                Oh my goodness!(hah)

                                                                                                Well, I wanted to tell you some things that *may* help! I am taking a health psychology class. We’re learning about the Mind-Body connection, and from what I see, you’ll be fine. If you do have cancer, *knock on wood*, imagery, acupuncture, tai chi, meditation: they ALL can massively improve your chances of survival (when paired with medications and such.) It seems that this positive frame of mind allows the drugs to work.

                                                                                                I did want to say, even from an online observer, who really, may not play a large part in your fan base or your life, that I think about you daily. You’re courage and love has no bounds, and it inspires me to take chances. Your advice gets me through the day. I aspire to be like you. A role model and a true representation of what love really can be. Unconditional, fun, and everlasting.

                                                                                                All the best. Hope everything goes well.
                                                                                                Always in my thoughts,
                                                                                                Hilary.

                                                                                                • At 2009.11.17 14:18, Hilary said:

                                                                                                  *your

                                                                                                  • At 2009.11.17 14:32, Mike said:

                                                                                                    Dear sweet Davey, My thoughts and prayers extend to you at this time. Been there, done that so to speak. I sincerely hope that everything will turn out well with God’s help. You are a great friend and an even better pal and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. I look forward to our little chats and sharing sessions. You know how much you have enlightened, affected, shared, cryed, sympathized, and just basic made all of our lives a bit more joyful and happy. We are all here for you in your time of need. Just ask!!

                                                                                                    • At 2009.11.17 14:35, Chris said:

                                                                                                      I lOVE YOU davey :)
                                                                                                      xoxo

                                                                                                      • At 2009.11.17 15:01, Brady said:

                                                                                                        WOW! Gabriel-
                                                                                                        I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I have lost many friends to such a NASTY disease-
                                                                                                        Thankfully, your diagnosis comes at a time where the medications have advanced so much that you can live a long, happy, healthy life. I realize that some people are still dying because of HIV, thankfully the numbers have slowed down considerably. :-)
                                                                                                        Just know being HIV+ is not a bad thing, I think it gives you a chance to take care of yourself and be able to love yourself. I know that HIV can still carry the stigma of someone that doesn’t deserve to be treated with love and respect.
                                                                                                        I am sad to hear that you became infected, only because someone wasn’t honest with you regarding their HIV status. I realize it *might* be difficult to be honest with your sexual partners, and they might not be willing to have sex with an HIV+ person. Just know that those people aren’t worth it. PLEASE DON’T DO WHAT SOMEONE DID TO YOU! Please disclose your status!
                                                                                                        Best of luck to you!
                                                                                                        Brad
                                                                                                        If you want to e-mail me: Bradywa@aol.com

                                                                                                        • At 2009.11.17 15:13, Russ said:

                                                                                                          Just wanted to add my wishes that you will overcome whatever this problem turns out to be. Then again, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride… In any case I am sending good thoughts your way…

                                                                                                          • At 2009.11.17 15:15, Sebastian said:

                                                                                                            Davey,
                                                                                                            I am sure you are touched by all of the messages of love and support that are pouring in. We appreciate your physical beauty, but more and deeper than that, we appreciate your “soul” or whatever that is called which is immortal and lives forever; that which binds us together.

                                                                                                            An old monk once told me, “Live as you CAN live, not as you can’t.” That is what is so beautiful about you. You live in the “present moment.”

                                                                                                            None of us know for sure what the future will bring, but in the end, “vta mutatur non tollitur!!!!

                                                                                                            Pax tecum, Seb

                                                                                                            • At 2009.11.17 15:28, robert said:

                                                                                                              happy thoughts your way Davey :) I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!<3

                                                                                                              • At 2009.11.17 15:40, gnjen said:

                                                                                                                Totally agree… it could be anything, and the cancer is at the bottom of the list… Especially if we have in mind his great and healthy life style, his positive way of thinking… might be genetics, there are some researches saying that cancer could be passed from same sex ancestors… but scientists are not sure on that. He has our greatest support and hope and love… whatever comes out, it will be the best, even if it is cancer, because life only gives what is best for as in a certain moment.

                                                                                                                • At 2009.11.17 15:49, gnjen said:

                                                                                                                  Sorry, but there is nothing imperfect in him. He still is and will be perfect, no matter what. And if he can’t update daily, I would understand it and stop being egoistic by letting Dave have his own peace… we have all got so much from him, and the least we can do is to send positive thoughts, prayers and understanding and patience for him and this situation…

                                                                                                                  • At 2009.11.17 15:55, emotikonek said:

                                                                                                                    Everything will be fine! Davey! Everything must be fine, no one could displace You.

                                                                                                                    • At 2009.11.17 15:57, gnjen said:

                                                                                                                      There are very, very low chances of that being cancer, but yet they are chances… genetics etc. But I have to say that I share opinion about this, there’s much bigger possibility of some other medical problem that can be solved easier and faster and safer… stay strong whatever it is, Davey…

                                                                                                                      • At 2009.11.17 16:34, Ryan Toronto said:

                                                                                                                        Hope everything is ok. Stay positive

                                                                                                                        • At 2009.11.17 16:56, Chris said:

                                                                                                                          I have lifted my voice to HaShem on your behalf, my dear friend. Do not be worry, you are in good hands. Many thanks for sharing what it´s in your heart!!!!

                                                                                                                          Thanks for letting us know about your personal life…

                                                                                                                          Love from Over Seas,

                                                                                                                          Chris

                                                                                                                          • At 2009.11.17 17:02, Marcus said:

                                                                                                                            man i really hope that you dont have cancer!! :[

                                                                                                                            • At 2009.11.17 17:08, Marycca said:

                                                                                                                              It’s odd that this would be the post topic today, of all days. In Society and Change class today, we learned that one of the top ten causes of death in high income society (which North America, by anyone’s recollection, falls under) is colon and rectum cancer. And, we, being the immature students that we are, were laughing about it because it seemed somehow funny. We knew that it was a serious thing and that we shouldn’t be laughing, but we laughed anyway.

                                                                                                                              And now I find it strangely ironic that someone who I respect and am inspired by may be facing such a diagnosis.

                                                                                                                              I wish you the best of luck with whatever happens, and hopefully it isn’t anything life-threatening.

                                                                                                                              • At 2009.11.17 17:28, Robb/England said:

                                                                                                                                I know that you will be anxious, worried and maybe frightened, even though you sound brave, until you have results but as has already been stated today, your doctor will have given you the worst scenario. Your health and age are on your side so I am sure that it will be something which can be treated and dealt with effectively.

                                                                                                                                Waiting for your blog giving us the good news we all want.

                                                                                                                                Love you Davey. You will have strength through all our thoughts and wishes. If all your blog buddies think hard about you for a few moments each day we can all help you beat this.

                                                                                                                                Love and peace and lots of kisses

                                                                                                                                Robb
                                                                                                                                x x x x x x x x

                                                                                                                                • At 2009.11.17 18:18, rob w said:

                                                                                                                                  wow davey hopefully things will work out for you just fine as far as your views on death i share the same ones i am hiv+ have been since 2000 and i still feel the same way about death i will light a candle for you
                                                                                                                                  love and hugs
                                                                                                                                  rob w

                                                                                                                                  • At 2009.11.17 18:18, j-sizzle pop said:

                                                                                                                                    Give Chipolte a lil hug from Big Jiggles

                                                                                                                                    • At 2009.11.17 18:48, Cason said:

                                                                                                                                      I am proud of you and very happy for you. I think you are truly one of the greatests gifts in life. Everyday I remind myself “today is a good day to die”. It helps me to remember to always live in this moment. Death is as natural as life. I embrace it the same way. You have such an amazing and beautiful energy. You are a blessing by the universe … And so am I. :) Love you, Davey.

                                                                                                                                      • At 2009.11.17 19:27, Dream said:

                                                                                                                                        I agree with you Davey about death. It’s only natural. But I would rather have myself die than my relatives, lovers and friends. I love you and I hope this is a mere realization and that you won’t die.

                                                                                                                                        • At 2009.11.17 21:36, Theresa said:

                                                                                                                                          Thank you so much for taking the time out to reply to the message. I guess Davey is right: we are all in this together, supporting one another through life’s difficult moments. That was really cool, joey by the bay :)

                                                                                                                                          T

                                                                                                                                          • At 2009.11.17 22:16, Victor said:

                                                                                                                                            Dave, I understand your issues. I too went through the scare…unfortunatly in april of 2002 I was diagnosed with stage 2 colon cancer. I thought it was the end of the (well my) world. After surgery and many years of follow-up I can say that I have been cancer free for almost 8 years now.

                                                                                                                                            My prayers are with you…and it will all be ok.

                                                                                                                                            • At 2009.11.17 22:28, Kenneth said:

                                                                                                                                              In 2001, I had my first colonoscopy. The doctor removed a couple of polyps. I have had several colonoscopies since without any problem. Even if cancer is discovered, we know that cancer can never destroy love. Although I have only been reading your messages for about a month, it is obvious that you are loved by many. My love and prayers now embrace you constantly. We humans are still so ignorant of the power of the strengh of love.

                                                                                                                                              • At 2009.11.17 22:46, Al Quinn said:

                                                                                                                                                Hope that its normal wear and tear, 123 patch up and go.

                                                                                                                                                I find Diagnoses are a lot like a police line up, in our mind sometimes we think its the ugliest one of the line, but compared with others, its often the less threatening one that really takes the cake.

                                                                                                                                                • At 2009.11.17 22:56, Zack said:

                                                                                                                                                  I hope the doctor says its not colon cancer. I hope you get well soon. thanks you for letting us know what is going on. Keep us posted.

                                                                                                                                                  • At 2009.11.17 23:52, Jeffrey said:

                                                                                                                                                    you’re in my thoughts and prayers!

                                                                                                                                                    • At 2009.11.18 00:04, Alec said:

                                                                                                                                                      Hello Gawjus,
                                                                                                                                                      I know just how you feel about all the uncertainty…I myself have just been diagnosed as having Parkinson’s Disease. Thank God it’s mild and not the shaky type that Michael J Fox has.
                                                                                                                                                      Aaaaanyway, what I’d like to say is that this pic of you is HOTTTT…from the beautiful butt to those luscious legs Hot, hot, hot!!!
                                                                                                                                                      Cheers.and hang in there, Davey.!

                                                                                                                                                      • At 2009.11.18 02:21, Gil said:

                                                                                                                                                        Dave, given the uncertainty of your situation, it’s best to stay fully present in the moment. You’re already doing this given what you share, so I’m confident you will handle matters involving diagnosis, treatment, and prognosis as they become known, from clarity, understanding, and above all – wisdom. You’re a patient in this event, but are also the ultimate healer. Stay centered in the light, affirming safe passage across all times and spaces of this experience, as healing begins to renew you.

                                                                                                                                                        • At 2009.11.18 02:58, Arthur said:

                                                                                                                                                          Davey, I’ve only just begun to watch your videos on you tube, and have subscribed to your channel. I have mostly come out but my mom is in extream denial. Your you tubes make me smile and laugh and forget all about her. I hope and belive that you will be ok, to make someone els like me smile through their tough situation. Love always Arthur! P.s. You are soooo sexy, remember that(lol).

                                                                                                                                                          • At 2009.11.18 03:35, Putra said:

                                                                                                                                                            you know what Davey?

                                                                                                                                                            I’m just gonna keep on praying for you

                                                                                                                                                            and even though we are all here are technically strangers, you know that we LOVE you with our hearts

                                                                                                                                                            and i do have a wish for the future

                                                                                                                                                            and that will be meeting you someday :)

                                                                                                                                                            • At 2009.11.18 09:35, Dave said:

                                                                                                                                                              Davey, you have raised up so many! We hope that this alone will carry you through this opportunity.

                                                                                                                                                              Dave

                                                                                                                                                              • At 2009.11.18 09:49, Lloyd said:

                                                                                                                                                                Davey,

                                                                                                                                                                I must admit I came across your videos and blog with less than scrupulous intentions. But after following you regularly and hearing the depth of wisdom (which is seldom shared in our society) I grew a new and more profound respect for you.

                                                                                                                                                                Davey, you are beautiful inside and out and whether this colon issue is benign or not I want you to know with assurity and a clear conscious that you have reflected Love and made a difference to thousands of people in the process. I pray one day that I will get a chance to meet you but in the meantime, continue to be the change you want to see in the world and live fully.

                                                                                                                                                                Namaste,

                                                                                                                                                                Lloyd

                                                                                                                                                                • At 2009.11.18 10:47, Jim said:

                                                                                                                                                                  Davey,
                                                                                                                                                                  You truly are a great spirit and will continue to be so no matter what. Stay focused as you usually are.

                                                                                                                                                                  • At 2009.11.18 12:12, bingo lover said:

                                                                                                                                                                    I hope you do get better and may you post progress with what you’re having. You see these comments? A lot of people are concerned about you and hopefully you do get better.

                                                                                                                                                                    • At 2009.11.18 12:22, Larry said:

                                                                                                                                                                      Davy-
                                                                                                                                                                      Sorry to hear about your possible diagnosis, I have been through a similar situation a couple of times and they always try to scare you by giving you the worst case possibilities, which more times than not, turns out not to be the case. keep your head up and try not to worry about it too much until you get the results, which I am sure wont be as bad as you think. Then you will be able to deal with it with a clear head and decide what to do from there. Good luck and keep us updated and remember, You have a lot of fans and friends out here that care for you and wish nothing but the best for you!

                                                                                                                                                                      • At 2009.11.18 20:07, Cal said:

                                                                                                                                                                        that’s so sad :(
                                                                                                                                                                        hope you’ll be alright..

                                                                                                                                                                        • At 2009.11.18 21:57, Peter Treviño said:

                                                                                                                                                                          Dear Davey,
                                                                                                                                                                          I am so sorry to read this news about your possible cancer. I really, really hope that it is not the case, Please, post the results of your tests to let us know that it isn’t cancer.

                                                                                                                                                                          Whatever it might be, I pray that you come out better than ever, in the inside; as for your outside, how can it get any better?

                                                                                                                                                                          I Love You, Davey,
                                                                                                                                                                          Peter in New York

                                                                                                                                                                          • At 2009.11.18 23:04, Jack said:

                                                                                                                                                                            You will be cured..
                                                                                                                                                                            And live a long healthy life..
                                                                                                                                                                            And you’ll soon be able to say..
                                                                                                                                                                            “It’s all behind me now..”

                                                                                                                                                                            • At 2009.11.18 23:44, Joe Blfstyk said:

                                                                                                                                                                              LOL. No one announces they may have a possible fatal condition without a confirmed diagnosis, well, except for you Davey Wavey. My deepest sympathies and wishes for a speedy recovery from a condition which you may have, but most probably don’t. I thought playing the victim card was beneath you, guess not.

                                                                                                                                                                              • At 2009.11.19 00:48, Michael said:

                                                                                                                                                                                Davey, just as we have become a part of your life, you have become a part of so many of our lives. When you share your thoughts we feel what you are feeling and I’m sure you are feeling our thoughts and prayers for you as you play the waiting game. Be strong, be YOU. Peace.

                                                                                                                                                                                • At 2009.11.19 01:30, Mjaramillo said:

                                                                                                                                                                                  That’s pretty scary. I’m glad you are so optimistic in times like this. You are an amazing person and I wish you the best of luck. You will be in my prayers kiddo. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                  • At 2009.11.19 15:30, Len said:

                                                                                                                                                                                    I wish you well for future diagnosis and what ever the outcome I know you will handle it in your usual way with the universe. Being not affraid to die is a good thing I don’t know why other s don’t realise it that it is inevitabl however, one does not want it premeturaly, one would hop to live life to the fullest and to the longest tie possible. It is not our doing.
                                                                                                                                                                                    Good luck – my usual parting message ‘Be Safe’ si still relevant so
                                                                                                                                                                                    Be Safe

                                                                                                                                                                                    • At 2009.11.20 05:38, craig said:

                                                                                                                                                                                      Hi Boys,

                                                                                                                                                                                      Firstly Gabriel i’m sad to hear your news, this is a disease that needs to be stopped…and Brad i do not mean to be offensive but need to comment on your “please don’t do what someone did you”. This is a naeve and extremely dangerous statement that too many people make when they seroconvert. When something happens to us, it is of our own doing..do not expect someone else to look out for your best interests, and don;t blame someone else when something happens to you… your life, your health, your spirit are purely and 100% your own responsibility.

                                                                                                                                                                                      When it comes to shagging, it’s way fun but is each and every indivudals own responsibility to wrap it up..even if someone discloses they are HIV- (in the very rare instances that that conversation even happens) how do you know they are being truthful..they may just want to get in on…so the best idea, wrap it up regardless of status

                                                                                                                                                                                      In a world where we own ourselves, don’t be misguided by thinking it’s someone’s elses job/responsibility.. it’s yours

                                                                                                                                                                                      • At 2009.11.20 05:43, craig said:

                                                                                                                                                                                        Davey,

                                                                                                                                                                                        good luck and good health to you. You are inspiring, insightful, interesting and bring a smile or a thought (and sometimes both..and by sometimes i mean always) every time i read up on you.

                                                                                                                                                                                        You’re positivity, humour and honesty (and ok pics and pecs) are appreciated by all those around you

                                                                                                                                                                                        • At 2009.11.20 13:10, Andre said:

                                                                                                                                                                                          Sending you positive thoughts and energy from South Africa. Your blog guided me through a very lonely time in my life, may you continue to share your wisdom and understanding with us for years to come.

                                                                                                                                                                                          Trust the news will be good

                                                                                                                                                                                          • At 2009.11.20 14:58, Cliveey said:

                                                                                                                                                                                            ou are poor suckers all I fear….
                                                                                                                                                                                            Not a very nice thing to make a drama of.
                                                                                                                                                                                            Most probably has piles.
                                                                                                                                                                                            Wouldn’t like to think its is making use of a serious issue/
                                                                                                                                                                                            But I fear its either silly drama or a nasty use of sympathy. plea
                                                                                                                                                                                            Hope I am wrong
                                                                                                                                                                                            Hope it is not really serious too though.

                                                                                                                                                                                            • At 2009.11.20 18:14, Thomas said:

                                                                                                                                                                                              Hey!!
                                                                                                                                                                                              I have been on and off to your webly universe for quite some time now, and was really surprised and shocked to find that you may have a diagnose that can be a bit “tricky” to deal with…. Several years ago I found myself dealing with not a disease but with thoughts and insights to the what’s, how’s and why’s of this world!!
                                                                                                                                                                                              Just would like to share with you that I think every growth within the human body is an attemt to grow…spiritually or physically…and if you want to grow and can’t quite find the way to do so, in time you will reflect these thoughts as faithfully as any other thought…if you don’t find an outlet for this outside of your body, you will find one within….and now I’m thinking of within your physical body…the real within is another thing…:-)As I’m sure you know, you create your reality through your thoughts, feelings and expectations, so it’s quite pertinent to pay attention to what you think and how you think it….! Don’t now if this made sense, but anyhoo…hehe If you want to exchange thought…mail me! :-)

                                                                                                                                                                                              • At 2009.11.21 20:03, Greg said:

                                                                                                                                                                                                Please know that you’re in my prayers and, clearly, in the prayers of many many others. Let us know.

                                                                                                                                                                                                • At 2009.11.23 01:22, craig said:

                                                                                                                                                                                                  whatever it is it’s clearly concerning him so maybe you should hold that until he knows what’s going on

                                                                                                                                                                                                  • At 2009.11.23 09:09, Bill said:

                                                                                                                                                                                                    I began having some frightening symptoms in the same area a few years ago. My grandfather died of colon cancer and my father had many polyps removed before he died from PAD. I ran to the doctor for the full gamut of testing including a colonoscopy. It turned out to be an inflamed hemorrhoid. Three benign polyps were found inside, too, but they weren’t causing the problem. All four things were removed without incident. Whew!
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Now I know I have the same issues in this area as my forefathers and I am committed to paying attention to potential problems so I don’t suffer the same fate as mu grandfather.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    • At 2009.11.23 12:40, Cliveey said:

                                                                                                                                                                                                      .. it would be a bit of a sad thing if it were just to inxcrease site hits.
                                                                                                                                                                                                      There are two dangers – being too cynical and being too naiive.
                                                                                                                                                                                                      But when he says he is not afraid to die I wonder.
                                                                                                                                                                                                      We all say that because it is unreal and outside our experience.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      • At 2009.12.03 03:40, davvi said:

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Joe Blfstyk: Davey is-Not “playing the victim card!” He has simply stated what the doctor has said it “might-be.” … … But, i thank God ;-) that Davey’s most-recent update to all-of-us is that “he is cancer-free :-) !” Peace & Love to Davey, you, Joe and everyone-else here. _ _ davvi

                                                                                                                                                                                                        • At 2009.12.03 03:58, davvi said:

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Joe Blfstyk: Davey is-Not “playing the victim card!” He has simply stated what the doctor has said it “might-be.” … … But, i thank God ;-) that Davey’s most-recent update to all-of-us is that “he is cancer-free :-) !” And Davey, i echo Michael as he states that you have become as much a part of our life as we’ve become a part of yours, and we-All thank-you for-this and Everything you do for-us, Davey :-) ! Peace & Love to Davey, you, Joe and everyone-else here. _ _ davvi

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