Today, I began the very difficult task of reading the 1,771 blog posts that I’ve penned since June, 2006. I’m going to read each and every blog post to compile a list of my favorites. It will be a “Davey Wavey 101″ compilation, and I suspect it will be especially helpful and interesting to those that are new to Break the Illusion.
Little did I know, it would prove very helpful and interesting to me.
I didn’t anticipate the amount of emotion that reading through – very literally – the chapters of my life would stir inside me. Thoughts, ideas, aspirations, experiences and special moments had escaped my memory, only to be unearthed today.
I cried. For a long time.
They were tears of emotion – emotions decompressed from short (and often unread) posts by my heavy but willing heart.
Today, I’ll unearth an all-too-appropriate gem from September 25, 2006. Back then, I had no audience. My bog was a journal, but I can’t help but wonder if I wrote it then for my future self to discover today:
So, for a few minutes, I was a little homesick. I saw the most beautiful picture of the rising sun in Narragansett Bay this morning on the Surf Shop’s webcam. For a few minutes, I really wanted to be there. I was flooded with all kinds of memories–all good, from my amazing summer and all the good times spent in Rhode Island. I mean, I grew up there–my whole life. I remembered being in the sand with my parents when I was little. I could smell the sunscreen. I could feel the water. All in that moment. It made me miss it.
But, then, I realized there was nothing to miss. Nothing real dies, and the entire universe dwells within me. The sunrise in Narragansett Bay isn’t 500 miles away–it is inside me. I created that sunrise, and it was–it is, beautiful. Those memories are great because they showed a beautiful truth. And that truth isn’t dead. It will never be dead, because it exists outside of time. And what is true about that sunrise, exists outside of time. It’s love. Love giving birth to awareness. And because I love that sunrise, I love you.
August 29, 2009 at 9:30 pm
I think that is the best part of writing a blog. Taking the time to reflect back on what you have written. You can see how you grown, stayed the same and even relive life emotions.
I believe if you cried, it was because you needed to. I am sure you feel much better because of it.
August 29, 2009 at 10:24 pm
This will be very helpful in seeing your changes and growth over the past few years…I’ve been there with you Davey! Thanks for everything!
August 29, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Davey,
It’s posts like this one that make me think you need to hold a “Win a day with Davey Wavey” contest. I mean, you must be a trip! (in a good way)
Cheers!
August 29, 2009 at 11:01 pm
That was very inspiring! I love your outlook on memories and the spin that there is nothing to miss. Understanding that has just helped to lift my spirits and make me enjoy every minute so much more. Thank you Davey!
August 29, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Ok, Davey, I gotta say it: “…..and I suspect it will be especially helpful and interesting to those THAT are new to Break the Illusion.”
Davey, the proper grammar is “…..to those WHO are new to Break the Illusion.”
Don’t feel bad, though. Even such a beautiful writer as Matt at DEBRIEFING THE BOYS consistently makes the same mistake.
August 31, 2009 at 9:32 am
who really gives a s**t though??
August 29, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Hey Davey,
Wow that is beautiful, emotionally graphic.
Awesome,
Ken
August 30, 2009 at 1:05 am
my blog is a journal just for me too. Nobody reads it. Maybe mine will be a good memory for me some day. That was beautiful writing btw
August 30, 2009 at 2:54 am
that’s beautiful, f*****g beautiful.
August 30, 2009 at 8:27 am
David,
While I was reading your post today, I can’t help but think you aren’t so different from me.
Although I remembered I was an intransigent blogbuddy at the beginning. It was, most certainly, impolite! I still owe you an apology for that! I only hope you didn’t hate me at that time!
Gradually, I also began to understand your point of view through your videos while I was improving a bit my English.
Through all your posts, you allowed me to discover the journey of “little davey” – a nice man – but also to understand the gay community and its point of view through the comments of blogbuddies. Lots of them are so interesting! There is always something to learn from each of their experiences.
Moreover, I learned to know myself better. Sometime, it only requires to consider things from a different angle! I really needed it, don’t you think so?
Another thing I have to tell you today is that one : It was really worth to create such a blog! a so good idea! I’m sure it helped you a lot in the same way it helps lots of people now.
It’s true that in 2006 you couldn’t imagine its success but I personally can assure you of this : the quality of numerous posts clearly prefigured it!
I’m not a soothsayer but I’m sure that it will continue for a long time!
I always keep in mind these words from Mark Twain : “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you too, can become great”.
I always felt that way with you!!
So, today, no need to dig up a lot in my brain to understand what you brought me!
And please, dry your tears, I only wish to bring a smile upon your face and say simply that “I love you very much” too!
I can say it twice or I can whisper it in your ear if you like!
Once more, from the bottom of my heart, a very, very big thank and a huge hug!
Keep on the good work David,
bye, bye,
August 30, 2009 at 8:46 am
As I was reading the first few lines of this post I was thinking that digging in the past could kick some stuff up,
Love and awareness. Sweet.
August 30, 2009 at 10:01 am
Icon, i thought it was supposed to be: …those “of whom” are new… . i could be mistaken. __ davvi
August 30, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Ewww, davvi, I’m not sure. Thanx for giving it your best shot, though.
August 30, 2009 at 10:22 am
Eric, i can speak for Davey, as i’m sure he won’t-mind. No apology is necessary, coz Davey understands, and he loves us-all, including the dissenters, here. i “think-the-world” of you and All-others here as well. And i share all your sentiments about Davey, also. P and L, __ davvi
August 30, 2009 at 10:54 am
Thank you very much, davvi!
bye,
August 30, 2009 at 10:45 am
That is why there are blogs, one human expressing themselves and touching other human beings. Bringing the good out of the human spirit.
August 30, 2009 at 11:48 am
Don’t forget to reread the comments as well. Without them the blog lacks community.
August 30, 2009 at 12:12 pm
there musy be another reason why you cried……..
August 30, 2009 at 1:11 pm
what can i say,
That is grand !!
love,
Steven
August 30, 2009 at 1:38 pm
today i dried too.
I listend to a sang from Luther Vandross.
I danced with my father… heartbreaking…
August 30, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Eric, you are “So-Very-Muchy”welcome, and Thank-You. And, David Thompson, i definitely agree with you about Rereading. i Always revisit, as i don’t -wanna miss anyones’ thoughts, opinions and/or Statemental-Facts. ‘Coz i Always learn new, interesting and inspiring things from Davey and All of you-guys here on the blog. We’re All just a Big Family here with Davey. And i want Darryl and others to know that “NO-Offense” is-ever intended, whenever i indicate disagreement with he or another commenter. And-again, Thanks to All! P and L, _ _ davvi
August 30, 2009 at 10:22 pm
I laughed, I cried , it became a part of me. (Also, I lied.)
August 31, 2009 at 9:02 am
August 31, 2009 at 4:00 am
Icon, you’re “so-very-muchy”welcome. And thankz for your having responded. P and L, _ _ davvi
September 1, 2009 at 4:02 pm
i noticed, Davey, you wrote bog instead of blog….sorry i tend to notice random things like that.
September 3, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Wow…that even brought tears to my eyes. It reminds me when I left my hometown, Port Stanley, to come up here for school. I missed my friends, the beach, all the familiarity of it. Life goes by too fast.
September 7, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Keep reading, Davey, it’ll do you good in the long run. Memories are too easy to be influenced by time, wear and tear…
I started to write down the memories of my life, when I was seriously ill in the nineties. Just to round everything up.
After all it worked out as the ultimate therapy against depression.
I’ve learned a lot from my oldest diaries from the sixties and seventies, since I also used them as logs. It was as if someone else was talking to me out of those logs.
Was it “god”? Was it “the universe”?
Who knows…