My friend Matt and I spent the last four days in Montreal.
When touring the city, one can’t help but get the feeling that Montreal is Canada’s good-boy-turned-bad. Innumerable chapels, churches and cathedrals line the streets – surrounded by strip clubs, bars and sex shops. It seems, at some point, Montreal and Christianity must have had some sort of falling out. And religious irreverence won out.
In actuality, Montreal is quite famous for its strip clubs. Having never been to one myself, I was intrigued by the prospect – and so on a Thursday night, Matt and I lost our gay strip club virginity.
We ended up at a club called Stock Bar. As we approached, I envisioned multiple stages peppered with naked men, elaborate set designs and costumes, flashing lights, pyrotechnics and smoke machines. When we entered, I realized that my vision had fallen quite flat. Despite advertising 60 male strippers, the club contained a single stage with a single performer.
It wasn’t fancy; it was all business. And all nude.
I couldn’t help but think, “This is it?” I had a similar feeling when, upon turning 21, I visited a casino for the first time. Hollywood had painted a very glamorous picture of what casinos might be, and the reality was quite different: Legions of senior citizens gambling their social security checks and pensions while smoking their Marlboros.
At the club, we stayed for an hour or two in what essentially turned into an anthropologist’s field study. I watched the small crowd of patrons and their interactions. In the corner, an older, jolly man sat in a chair surrounded by three young strippers. In another life, he might have been Santa Claus. In this life, he laughed as they touched him, danced and took his money.
On some level, I let the experience sadden me. But on another, I recognize that the patrons want the boys and the boys want the money. It’s a legal and consensual transaction between two adults that leaves both parties satisfied. Rather than ridicule it or belittle the experience, I just knew it wasn’t for me. At the end of the day, I’d rather spend my time with someone that likes me for free, rather than someone who pretends to like me for money.
Unless that someone was Zac Efron. Or Luke Guldan. I’d open my wallet and make those dead presidents sing for them. 
P.S. I’ll be uploading a video about the experience in a few days. Stay tuned for that!
P.P.S. Have you ever been to a gay strip club? Let me know what you thought about it in the comments below.
July 18, 2011 at 8:06 am
oops! I meant Patpong in Bangkok. Especially love The Tawan Club. You can google it.
July 18, 2011 at 9:32 am
I really like your metaphor for the santa claus thing! haha! made me giggle! But I agree you had a great point at the end, i too find myself trying to not judge. And I agree if Zac efron wanted..id be doing the same! My experience at a strip club was at a straight one with my brother..it was his birthday and it was a gross and nasty one. It was also right when I came out soo it was really awkward feeling haha! But one stripper I swear her boob was literally a smaller one next to the other one. And then there was this black stripper shaking her booty infront of this fat black guy that was throwing money ..it was like he was trying to make a hole in one or something! Anyway..it was an interesting experience that will probably be my last
…maybe I’ll try a gay one ..one day!
July 18, 2011 at 10:57 am
I have been to Stock bar many times, as well as Taboo and Adonis. I live near Montreal.
You guy with some buddies, drink a few beers and then go to Unity or some other overpriced gay bar. it is simple dirty fun. I hate it when they try to get me to purchase more services though.
July 18, 2011 at 11:29 am
I think its kind of sad the number of gays judging other gays because they make non-conforming decisions about how to make and/or spend money. You would think we would be supportive of peoples’ rights to decide things for themselves.
Davey, you may find it more interesting when you’re 55!
July 18, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Davey Wavey,
You went to the wroooong strip club. Got to DC, and check out Secrets. Than you’ll get the lights, pyrotechnics, music and all the glitz and glamour you’re looking for. They have about 6 to 7 dancers on at one time. All nude. It’s a lot of fun. And I don’t even remotely judge the interaction that goes on there…its harmless.
July 18, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Hey Davey,
My first post here… I guess that makes me a virgin, again? :^D
Anyway, yes there’s a strip club here in Portland called Silverado. (The announcer and website call it something like ‘Exotic Mens’ Club, but we locals know better!)
The dancers are young, some boys (17 and 18), and yes they are very pretty for the most part. But the only time they approach and older gentleman is if they believe he has $omething to offer them… if that make$ $en$e. Otherwise, no, they pretty much hang out with guys under 26 years of age.
As a middle-aged daddy bear, I really don’t mind that, because honestly I’m not sure I’d want to have an ongoing relationship with an exotic dancer anyway. (I am sure the feelings are mutual) I go there to remind myself what it’s like to be young, vital, and to feel alive, if only for a few moments.
My “Krptonite” is those younger men, but I don’t dwell on what will never happen, nor do I plan to be wasting my pension/Soc. Sec. check nightly/weekly on a gay strip club.
I only go to the clubs when a friend of mine comes to town from the Seattle area, so he can check out the ‘competition’ here. Apparently we have better clubs AND a better Gay Pride presence.
I think you said it best with, “At the end of the day, I’d rather spend my time with someone that likes me for free, rather than someone who pretends to like me for money.”
Take care, Mr. Wavey!
Hugs,
ThomasBee
July 18, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I have to say I’ve never witnessed such a struggle to portray a lack of judgement amidst much judgement. It struck me that perhaps someone ( the author, perhaps) may be so accustomed to getting all the attention when out and about and was a bit jealous other naked boys were stealing the spotlight. Non-judgemental, it was not!
July 18, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Davey,
As you discovered, strip clubs leave nothing to the imagination and, therefore, they are not titillating. You had more fun as a Peeping Tom watching your neighbor masturbate, didn’t you?
July 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm
I have been to two gay strip clubs in my life, and the first one left me feeling much like you did, in fact I was so saddened by these young mean demeaning themselves for for what I would consider unattractive men for money and vice versa, rather killed my buzz and I convinced my friends to leave shortly after, and they were rather disappointed that I wouldn’t tip any of the dancers even with their money. I simply told them I didn’t want to touch any of those boys or want any of those boys touching me after seeing where they had just been. My second experience was quite different, the dancer was an older man and very physically fit and this time I did tip but only after watching very closely for a while, this dancer did not fawn all over the men he approached everyone for a brief time giving them the opportunity to tip if they chose too, and moved on after a minute or two if they didn’t and those he tipped got a nice look at what he had to offer me included but their was no pretending that we had any feelings for or about each other he had a nice body and I had two dollars in my opinion I would rather have a quick look and the dancer move on I don’t want them staying or even trying to touch me I would rather you take my money dance a little maybe give me a peek at your naughty bits, don’t pretend it is something it isn’t that’s how I see it.
July 18, 2011 at 5:15 pm
I live in montreal
And my dad is security at one of the female strip clubs here :/
I plan on going to a gay one when I turn 18 :]
July 18, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Strip clubs can be fun as long as you keep your perspective. I love the male body and it is an easy way for me to enjoy men. I have gone to strip clubs that were really sex clubs and kind of got rooked into purchasing this guy as a package deal with a bottle of champagne. Had sex up in kind of a balcony amidst straights. Oh, it was New Orleans and it was my downfall with booze. Been sober for almost nine years and that place and related events just did me in. Went to a nude club in DC where the guy was dancing around and swinging his c**k all over the place…got up in my lap…lol…kind of nice, actually.
September 23, 2011 at 1:47 am
May I know where is it? I would love to visit such places.
July 18, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Hey now, no hating!
But who needs to knit one, when I can be one?
July 18, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Exactly!
July 18, 2011 at 7:15 pm
When I went to a strip club many years ago with a friend it was in Toronto. There were two guys on the stage and a hot guy pole dancing on the bar. Show was rather short. This one guy was so hot. When he finished he came over and hung all over me with just a jock strap on. He was from Brazil and going to school. My friend was very upset because I got all the attention. He even offered to come see me when he got off work. I told my friend he just knew I was the one with money and my friend was broke. It was fun.
July 18, 2011 at 10:39 pm
Hellooo…it’s called Entertainment. You don’t have to analyse it any more than you need to deeply grok why some people go to play Bingo! (Which, by the way, we used to have a gay version of in Montréal run by our most famous drag queen, Mado Lamotte, who now runs the most famous drag caberet “Chez Mado” which you really ought to stop in on, Davey.) Entertainment, remember?
Most of the strippers in the clubs are straight. It’s a job. They do a simple dance all dressed to show their talents, then they come out have undressed to tempt you to stay around, and finally it’s the full Monty with twanger hard and flopping in the faces of the dudes in the front row. Which is where you sit if you’re not really interested in paying for more than a beer. Don’t find the idea enticing, then don’t go, eh? But please let grandpa have a thrill if he wants to. You’ll be old one day, too.
Be well,
July 19, 2011 at 12:03 am
@Fred. Glad you mentioned Thailand. They are so NOT judgmental in Thailand compared to western (anglo) places where we are such hypocrites. They have a wonderful word in Thai, “sanuk”. Roughly translated it means FUN. What is fun for one person may be the total opposite for another. It’s like saunas, either you go, or you don’t go. What’s your “sanuk”?
July 19, 2011 at 1:16 am
That was my thought too,on seeing the photo with this post____Actually,I wondered,at first if you’d done a guest spot in the show.Nice red briefs,btw, Davey.I’ve never been closer to a gay strip club
than the occassional tv spot.However,in my younger (attempts at being?)heterosexual days,occasionally attended strip,or sex shows.My reactions were usually very mixed:Found most acts tawdry,sometimes bizarre,once in awhile erotic,sometimes hilarious,frequently sad,and always an amazing social study.The mix of sex and commerce yields strange results.
Side note:Just came home from the final two films of Philadelphia’s Qfest:
“Going Down in LaLa Land” and “E Cupid” both of them,while not porn,featured impossibly gorgeous guys,as one would expect,but the empasis in both was on the importance of love/relationship instead of just sex for sex’s sake,and on the hollowness of success for success’s sake and of commodifying oneself.
July 19, 2011 at 1:25 am
Todd,your comment reminds me of some grafitti I saw years ago__The top line went:”My mother made me a homosexual.”The line below was:”If I gave her the wool,do you think she’d make me one?”
July 19, 2011 at 6:07 am
In the area of the U.S. I am in there is only one gay strip bar. A friend and I went for my 42nd birthday five years ago, it was awesome! One guy in a glass shower washing up, while another is pole dancing and inviting all the patrons to rub his hot, hard body. They always showered before their show. By going on a Thursday night there was not a crowd just 6 or 8 of us around the bar getting lots of attention! Being a virgin in so many ways, but mainly sexually, I was sitting there with a raging hard on. One of the strippers noticed it and reached down and grabbed it, what a great time!
March 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm
f**k yeah!