Nov

8

My original sin.

November 8, 2009 | 15 Comments

I was 8 years old; it was the summer of 1991.

I had just found out that my best friend and his family were relocating to Maryland due to financial difficulties. I felt devastation, and as far as I can tell looking back, it was the first time that I experienced suffering. It was the inaugural instance in which I created a gap between the way the world is and the way I felt the world should be. My universe no longer seemed perfect.

Last night, I drove down to my parents’ house for some homemade macaroni and cheese. During dinner, my mom shared a story about my best friend’s move that I had long-since forgotten.

As an 8 year-old, my understanding of “financial difficulties” was fairly elementary. But I knew they didn’t have enough money. And I also knew that we had a valuable dwarf red maple tree (pictured above) in my parents’ backyard. So, I hatched a plan to keep my best friend in town: We would cut off a branch of the tree and plant it in his yard. And then, his parents could sell the tree and he’d be able to stay with their new-found fortune.

I carried out my plan, planting a branch at my best friend’s house. His mom caught on to the plan, and shared it with my parents. The naïveté of it is enough to break anyone’s heart.

Obviously, my innocent plan fell short – and my best friend still moved. I remember feeling the void that I’ve now come to understand as an illusion. I remember feeling separation where I had once felt unity. It was, in some small way, my original sin.

Related Posts:

  • No Related Post
« Previous post:
» Next Post:

Comments

15 Comments

  • At 2009.11.08 12:06, gnjen said:

    nice story :)

    [Reply]
    • At 2009.11.08 13:30, James said:

      I love the stories about your life the best out of any of your posts, keep em comin’ :)

      [Reply]
      • At 2009.11.08 13:39, Rory O'Callaghan said:

        In the original garden of Eden, God planted the tree, and the tree bore fruit, and we ate. Your story is sadder. Your child was God, and he planted a tree, but nothing at all came of it, only the sin-stain of loss. And so the boy moved on into the void, And now, still, the man-child packs up his bags, and moves on.

        [Reply]
        • At 2009.11.08 14:00, John B said:

          I have to disagree. Your act was not a sin but an act of love. You wanted your best friend to stay and you didn’t want to lose him. Even as an eight year old, you knew what it meant to love someone. Why do I use the word “love” and not “like”. Friends are people you like, but a best friends are always more.

          [Reply]
          • At 2009.11.08 17:35, dave said:

            Ah yes, but the “sin” was viewing the moment as imperfect!

            [Reply]
            • At 2009.11.08 18:54, Mosaic Dave said:

              I disagreed with you on my first reading and interpretation of this entry. The whole notion of original sin comes with some inherent imagery and story that are anything but analogous. Eve’s original sin was willful. She acted of her own volition. She did something that she knew she ought not do. God told her not to do it. Sin is a transgression of God’s law and this meets that standard without question. Yours doesn’t.

              Upon my second reading and some reflection on the nature of sin I realized that if I could let go of my classical understanding of what makes a sin a sin I realized your situation could be seen as a sin. Sin can also be interpreted as that state of being where a person is estranged from God (however you conceive God to be). Your resistance of what was happening certainly would have estranged you from your divine. Willfully or not, knowingly or not, you put a barrier between yourself and God in that you couldn’t accept what was so. It certainly satisfies the second definition.

              I can’t remember what mine would have been. Could be that first day of Kindergarten when I cried to try to get my mom to stay. I had been happy with the status quo and told myself I was not prepared for this new phase.

              Thanks for sharing your story with us.

              [Reply]
              • At 2009.11.09 00:48, Shawn said:

                I’m sorry I’m tired or I would be more philosophical. Nice story though that seemed to happen a lot when I was little I think that is why I have attachment issues to things because they never should go away.

                [Reply]
                • At 2009.11.09 01:51, Josh said:

                  Davey Wavey, did you ever see your best friend again?

                  [Reply]
                  • At 2009.11.09 08:18, Mr. Jody said:

                    I waited until I was 25 to tell my parents (I’m 44 now). It was one of the BEST DAYS of my life ! The sense of RELIEF and the new-found energy I could put to GOOD USE instead of lying/hiding were incredible. My parents were fairly cool about it. (Maybe because I’m lucky to come from a NON-religious family.)

                    I would have told them years earlier, but my only other sibling (3-years older) is also gay. He told them when he was 18 and claimed they didn’t handle it well. (looking back, it was probably HE who did’n't handle it well…)

                    Anyway, as long as you’re not in danger of being kicked out of your house… I would recommend getting the TRUTH out there as soon as you can. On THAT DAY, you will start living YOUR life instead of the life society says you are “supposed” to live.

                    [Reply]
                    • At 2009.11.09 11:43, Shaii said:

                      Aww, good sharing, ^_^

                      [Reply]
                      • At 2009.11.09 13:22, Cliveey said:

                        But your not 8 now Davey

                        [Reply]
                        • At 2009.11.09 17:29, daniel said:

                          How can you put a smiley face to that?! its so sad!!!!! :’(

                          [Reply]
                          • At 2009.11.10 06:05, gnjen said:

                            It is said… but the story is nice, and if something passes the grace of transcendence I will not watch only its content… Though you might be right, maybe I shouldn’t watch on this like on piece of art, a story, maybe I should watch this only as a part of diary, a part of memoirs… then it would be just “:( ” I have “professional deformity” to watch everything written as I would watch and judge a piece of art… but this could be art, though this is a simple literary process, there were many writers who written as concise and simple as they could…

                            [Reply]
                            • At 2009.11.10 23:01, bruin said:

                              DaveyWavey, Where is your friend now? Do you still keep in contact with him ? What is he doing? are you guys still …having contact?

                              [Reply]
                              • At 2009.11.11 03:15, Cliff said:

                                It seems like you experienced a grief emotion, which is certainly understandable. But I don’t think I would use the word “sin”, especially with all the connotations that accompany it. I also had a best friend who meant a great deal to me move away, although I was an adult when it happened. I still felt quite sad about it for a while, and I don’t think I was wrong to feel that way, which is what “sin” would imply for me. After a time of healing, I reached an acceptance, although I still missed him when certain reminders would appear.

                                The grief – healing – acceptance pathway is something with which we all have experience. In addition to our shared human experience, many of our animal friends experience also grieve when a loved one dies or is no longer present. If this feeling is so universal, perhaps it is alright to allow ourselves to experience it, learn from it and grow from it.

                                [Reply]
                                (Required)
                                (Required, will not be published)