If there’s one thing I know, it’s that Chris Pine is really hot. If there’s a second thing, it’s that age doesn’t necessitate wisdom. I’ve met some very wise children and some very uninspired adults.
Wise or not, parents are usually a well of advice that never seems to run dry. Some advice is sound. Some is not. I’d like to hear your best or favorite piece of parental advice. What have your parents taught, told or demonstrated to you? Leave your answers in the comments and share that wisdom with others.
In my own family, my mom has taught me that no problem is so large that it can’t be solved by a glass of wine. Fortunately, I don’t drink – and thus, I’ve never tested the validity of this claim. I wouldn’t encourage you to do so, either.
My mom also says, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” While seemingly transparent, there is a wealth of hidden wisdom within her words. It’s all about perspective.
To one person, a Jackson Pollock painting is splatter paint. To another, it’s a masterpiece worth $140 million. To one person, being laid off is a tragedy. To another, it’s a new-found opportunity to pursue a more fulfilling career. To one person, death is an enemy. To another, it’s a welcome friend in the cycle of life. The only differences between these people are their perspectives.
And it makes all the difference in the world.
People are often surprised by my positive attitude. But I’m equally surprised by their negative views. I hold, nurture and cultivate those perspectives that bring love, light and peace into my life and the lives of the people around me. Our perspectives are choices. Each of us can see the world differently – if we so desire.
Is the glass half full or half empty? Is getting caught in the rain beautiful or gross? Is this universe trash or a treasure? No answer is right or wrong. But some answer are more fulfilling than others.
One man’s trash is indeed another man’s treasure.
What have your parents taught you?
May 30, 2009 at 2:32 pm
The other day, I celebrated my 34th birthday. I’ve reflected a lot over the past week, or so, about my mom who had cancer and died at 34 years old. I can’t really remember what advice she had given me way back then – I was only 10 when she died – but I do remember her giving me the sex talk when I was 9 years old. It seemed to me that I learned about sex before a lot of kids in my class and I think mom probably wanted to tell me herself while she was still around. It was the standard sex talk and I really didn’t ask many questions but looking back I realize now that it was so important to her that she be the one to tell me about it and not to leave it to chance. She was intentional about it and about a lot of things. without even saying anything her actions speak volumes not only regarding the sex talk but about everything. She never stopped fighting to stay alive. She held on for every last breath. She loved us with every fibre of her being and never let a second pass without letting us know it. Her vivaciousness, exhuberance, perseverence, fortitude, courage, strength, grace, peace, love and vulnerability were living advice.
My dad was never much for advice beyond “If you were one of my employees, I’d probably have to let you go for behaviour like this.” LOL Dad wass a businessman through and through. After mom died, he poured himself into his work because he had no other coping mechanisms. The love of his life – his true soul mate – was gone and he had no idea how to raise 2 kids on his own. But his actions have spoken volumes too. Despite the fact that he had no idea how to deal with the loss of his wife and now having 2 screwed up kids – and we totally were – he always went to bat for us. We knew, regardless of what else was going on, that we were loved and that he stood for us 100%. I didn’t realise this until quite recently when I reflected on what had happened and really opened my eyes about it all. He never let us make any of our own decisions and tried to keep us from making mistakes. I don’t think this helped me in the least as I am now indecisive and seek approval on every decision I make. But again his actions really spoke to what he stood for. He always made the decisions that were right for him. He listened to people’s opinions and considered them but in the end he made decisions that were right for himself regardless of what anyone else thought. He appreciated other people’s opinions but he knew they were just that. He knew, equally, that his opinion may have been wrong but he trusted himself enough to stand by it and see how it went. My dad is also one of the most generous and tireless people I know. He would literally do anything he could for anyone who is in need. He is a ‘give the shirt off your back’ kind of person. He is the greatest role model I’ve ever had and I am fortunate to have realised it while I can still let him know.
May 30, 2009 at 3:11 pm
A simple advice, that I think is the greatest:
“Stay true to yourself”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May 30, 2009 at 3:36 pm
My mom taught me that life is better shared with a man. She shared life with many men. My father was but one chapter, and a bad one at that. The second last guy (and chapter) was her best one. She had to give up part way through the last chapter because of dementia.
I’ve only had one full chapter with a man. The rest were like anecdotes.
May 30, 2009 at 3:46 pm
I used to believe that the glass was half full. Why stop there? At 48, with my life half over, i believe the glass 100% full, half full and the other half is full of air, so the glass is full. Never empty.
May 30, 2009 at 4:13 pm
My mum always said ;
Il n’y a qu’un bonheur dans la vie, c’est d’aimer et d’être aimer
thought itd sound better in french
May 30, 2009 at 4:55 pm
True – Chris Pine is hot
May 30, 2009 at 5:03 pm
hellow davey for remember of me
always i love
kisses
May 30, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I have to agree about Chris Pine.
May 30, 2009 at 5:43 pm
“Like water off a ducks back” – My mom used to tell me that, everytime the kids at school were mean to me, or someone/something was bothering me. Just let the negative wash away like water off a ducks back. This has stuck with me for my whole life, and has helped a great deal. Had I been a sponge, I would have been effed.
Davey, how do you live in Canada, for long periods of time in the summer? What do you tell the border guys when you cross into Canada? “I’m just coming up for a week of holidays officer…” *bats eyelashes* LOL
I’m in Halifax this weekend Davey, you should come visit!! I hear one of the gay bars is excellent there!
May 30, 2009 at 7:52 pm
My mum always says ”nothing is ever burnt it’s just well done”!
May 30, 2009 at 8:39 pm
What my parents taught to me is that they loved me and whatever happen, love is always the most important.
I was so surprised and worst again so disappointed and sad to ear that when my boyfriend said to his mother he was bisexual that “family is most important than love” ! I realised my parents were better than i thought because they told me the most important and simple thing every parent should told their children : Love is the more important thing !
May 31, 2009 at 12:00 am
My dad always says, “Men have cooties… Those are the things that get a girl pregnant, and I don’t want you to give any girl you know your cooties.”
I really don’t get it, but I guess I will when I’m… 16 to 18.
May 31, 2009 at 9:11 am
My parents were too self involved to dole out words of wisdom. The best the old man did was: There’s no such thing as a fair fight.
This because I was a wimpy kid and would get beaten up. He taught me that in a fight there was a winner and a loser. And that kicking the bully in the balls was not unfair. It was about survival.
The advice I like to give is: Pay attention and be aware.
These day, with mobile phones and texting ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME!, people are just aimless on the streets. If people would only pay attention to what they’re doing and be aware of their surroundings, I think there would be far less chaos in general.
May 31, 2009 at 9:40 am
People are SO connected
They have NO IDEA what is happening
in their immediate surroundings.
They wander into the street without a care
as they text away their life’s secrets
All lost under the Bus full of strangers..
May 31, 2009 at 10:11 am
My mother was a no nonsense farm wife. She never spoke philosophically – but three rules stuck: 1) don’t walk on a grave (my brother had died as a child and we went to the cemetary from time to time); 2) don’t run in church (she was impatient with ill behaved children); and 3) don’t sing at the table (she was a child of the depression and WWII, Germans sang at the table – not her kids.)
I have boiled these rules down to one simple concept for my own child – respect. Respect for self, for others, and for your environment. I’ve eased off about the singing at the table – my kid is happy and sometimes just wants to sing. However, he better not step on a grave or run in church.!
May 31, 2009 at 10:12 am
My dad told me when I was coming out: “To be, rather than to seem.” He took it from the NC state motto but, it is still a very powerful message.
June 1, 2009 at 1:23 am
My mom told me on Dating… “if you put $1 in the coke machine, and nothing come back. You should do it twice and then move to the NEXT machine.”
June 1, 2009 at 8:59 am
I am the mom of three girls, and we have *drama* from time to time. My advice to them is simple: Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about dancing in the rain!
Peace and love to all!
June 1, 2009 at 6:58 pm
My mom has said alot that: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you… although i believe words really do hurt no matter what.
and my dad is from the south and always talks about money and how its not life, but he says: If you spend less than you make, youll always be rich.
June 1, 2009 at 7:15 pm
My mother alway told me “People are like shirts. They all come if differnt colors it does not mean ones better then the other treat them all the same.”
-Eric
June 1, 2009 at 9:22 pm
When my dad asked my if I was ina “homosexual relationship” with my 1st b/f at the tender age of 17 – I was in so much obviously head-ove-heels in love that I couldn’t deny it.
He then said: “being gay is only a part of who you are. Don’t make it all of who you are.”
wise words.
June 2, 2009 at 12:09 am
Recently, my dad told me “Pick your battles.” It pretty much just means that you should only fight over things that are really important to you. As more and more things happen in my life, I really came to understand why he parented me the way he did and what great advice that was.
June 2, 2009 at 6:39 am
My father taught me that I could do anything I wanted to do – “see the world, experience everything!” My mom taught me to be cautious of everything/everyone – “look both ways b/c you don’t want to get hit by a car” and “don’t climb too high b/c you may fall and break your neck.” When I’m not thinking like my dad, I’m usually thinking like my mom, and I quickly remind myself to lean more to “the dad side”. They also taught me to take care of the underdog, do your part as a citizen, and volunteer.
June 2, 2009 at 12:11 pm
My dad always told me to consult the poem If by rudyard kipling
June 4, 2009 at 9:34 am
My dad always reminded us to keep ourselves level headed… remember that the highs are not the highest you can achieve, and the lows are not the lowest they could be…
As for me, my advice to other parents is to change a diaper, give a bath, wash the hair, read a book, sit and chat with them when they are making poops, because soon enough, your kid will be able to do things on their own, and you will never, EVER, regret that extra time, but I can guarantee that you will miss not being able to do it again…
June 8, 2009 at 12:09 am
Trust your instincts about your kids. Educate them without exposing and exploiting them. And don’t snoop. Ask.
June 9, 2009 at 1:28 pm
advice is something everyone can give.. a parent.. a child.. a sibling.. a spouse.. a friend.. an aunt.. an uncle.. and so on..
i believe that parents can only teach their children so much.. and where ever you get advice it should be taken with a grain of salt..
advice is something to help when we are in a crisis or have some sort of dilemna.. it is not the advice that helps us make a decision.. but it is the choice we make that will make the difference..
people can tell us what to do and again we are the one’s that are faced with the decision and we are the one’s that have to face the consequences and/or rewards..
I’m not knocking parents by any means or saying that parents are pointless.. but parents can only do so much until a child decides they want to grow up, be independent, and “make” their own choices..
i could probably blab on forever.. and sometimes blabbing leads to nothing.. and ultimately without parents, we would not be here..
July 6, 2009 at 11:20 am
My favorite of all my mom’s sayings is definately “do as I say, not as I do.” The reason it’s my favorite? Hearing that at an early age is what instilled in me the want (or need) to test the boundaries and question things.
August 7, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Hey Davey,
My advice to parents would be don’t just make it possible for you children to play, play with them!!!!!
No matter what the stress, financial, marital problems, whatever. Enjoy the experience of being a parent. Sometimes you just need to forget those adult problems and deal with them when you have too. It’s more important that a child feel the support, love and loyalty of their parent(s), no matter what is going on.
Do not put your children in the public or catholic school systems, they are riddled with violence and bad role models.
One parent must always be home with the children. The world now a days is to corrupt for a parent to put their child in and type of Daycare, or whatever.
Ken
August 7, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I agree with you 150%, if you read my other posts in other sections you will relalise that i had a tough childhood nad my parents wernt very suporting.
I read you as if your thinking as me
Love and Peace,
Jack