I was reading a friend’s blog when I was reminded of something that I used to do in Washington, DC.
Way back then – a good four years ago – I worked at the headquarters for one of the national equality organizations. The days were often long and sometimes quite difficult on a number of levels. Even after leaving work, I’d think of the issues I had encountered – and often found myself making to-do lists for the next day.
Outside my apartment building was a small reflection pool (pictured above) with a frog statue at one end. One day, I got the idea to hang up any and all of my so-called problems and obstacles on the statue. I recognized that the additional worrying or potential stress wasn’t helpful – and that it was poisoning my free time. So each day thereafter, I left my problems at the door.
Nowadays, I tend to view my so-called problems as opportunities to grow and evolve. Even so, I continue to use ‘markers’ as reminders to be centered. In some of my videos, for example, you might notice the large Buddha statue above my fridge. I use the Buddha as a reminder to breathe and be present.
It’s been a very useful tool for me and maybe it can work for you, too.
What do you (or could you) use as your own marker? Let me know in the comments below. Give it a try. I think you’ll like it. 
June 8, 2011 at 5:11 pm
I wish I was better at leaving problems by the door. It would help me be an easier person to live with. I’m sure my whole family would love it if I was able to leave the stresses of the day behind. I guess it is something I can aim towards!
June 8, 2011 at 5:20 pm
This is going to sound pretentious but when I have issues I need to release I pray. I am a proud out gay Christian. My faith and my friends sustain me. If after I pray I still feel anxious, I have my best friends to hang on. I am blessed.
June 8, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Hey,
I was just watching one your videos and I noticed that the kitchen in the background seemed familiar. Where you staying in North Vancouver un October 2010?
June 8, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Holding a tibetan quartz crystal and various other gems and crystal that is said to help with stress. I hold it in my left hand and it seems to help.
June 8, 2011 at 6:48 pm
when I bottle up lots of stress from society and school I do something that no one else has done before and that something changes from time to time. I do Acrobatics, contortionism, art that reminds me of acomplished individuals but if I am super stressed I cut my own hair and I feel like another person without worries and problems and I look in the mirror and know that I am not that stressed individual any more. School is over no more Stress!! yey lets hit the pool!!
laters from AZ
June 8, 2011 at 7:12 pm
I can’t let problems go unnoticed very long unless its out of my hands. So I carry most of them with me until I solve them. But the stress, to help ease that, I most of all would work out. I love the feeling of a good work out. I feel so happy afterwards. If I cannot make it to the gym, however, playing the piano or listening to my Dave Matthews mix is the next best thing for me.
Peace and Love.
June 8, 2011 at 8:14 pm
I cope with stress by sitting down,relaxing ,and doing something that i love. Alot of times it is art or writing, i have ALOT of full drawing diaries and last year i took it to school everyday in my backpack and thats what i did in freetime. it helped but the drawing style changed and i look back and remember every thing that each drawing meant or why i went to the journal that day.
June 8, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Nothing pretentious about that at all, Billy. I understand that there are many in the gay community who have a problem with organized religion and any references made to same. However, the truth of the matter is that whatever helps you get through the day, week, month, year and the balance of your life in a healthy, loving fashion is (more often than not) a “good” thing. It is only when we force “our beliefs, faith and opinions” on others that the process and our own actions comes into question. As long as you use your faith and its precepts for good while allowing others to live their own lives according to their faith, remembering that no two individuals on this wonderful earth will ever agree on “everything, all of the time” than you’re on the right track and I applaud you for it.
Namaste,
Michael
June 8, 2011 at 8:31 pm
I either meditate or I sometimes write poetry (some of which has been published in the past).
June 8, 2011 at 9:12 pm
When I was working (I’m now retired), there was a period when I tried to be a more productive person by preparing a list (during breakfast) of what I wanted to do that day. My occupation was in the field of customer service so my time was ruled by outside influences (the telephone usually) more than by myself. At the end of the day I would look to see how many goals I had crossed off. I realized (after several weeks or months of this) I was a less happy person at the end of the day when I had achieved fewer goals. I also came to realize I was a much happier person all around (if not a less productive one) when I did NOT make a list of goals at the beginning of the day. Not having the physical reminder of failure (the list with few goals crossed of) made me a much happier and less stressed out person and I was easier to live with. I never went back to creating lists after that realization.
June 8, 2011 at 9:18 pm
I know this is not as profound as some of the other comments but to help me with my problems I read a favourite book an that helps to 1 put my life into prospective and 2 show me how lucky I am as it shows me someone else’s life an wat it is like in their shoes.
June 8, 2011 at 9:36 pm
When things are a bit crowded in my life, I pretend that “it’s my party” and I invited everyone and that they are doing exactly what they ought to be doing and I love them exactly the way they are… and then I realize that it’s true and there is no problem… everything is just fine the way it is. This worked really well for me in gay bars when I wanted to go home happy and …
June 8, 2011 at 10:09 pm
My problem is that I don’t hang my problems somewhere when I’m done with work. It doesn’t help that I work from home. But some of these techniques might help. Thanks … Nick
June 8, 2011 at 11:12 pm
i wish i could hang problems somewhere.trouble finds me.its not easy working with family.i went to a bbq just last evening-my sister-in-law asks me why i would meet friends for a pridefest this coming weekend.i go with my friends every year-always have.honestly i was minding my business-then she gets beligerent and combatative-its really none of her business.she thinks im flaunting and in your face.im just associating with my close friends.but it escalated today at work-i may have lost my job.i just cant take the combatativeness.God i wish i could hang this problem somewhere.
June 9, 2011 at 12:21 am
I either listen to music or end up getting it out through playing piano and singing.
June 9, 2011 at 1:18 am
HAPPY PILLOW BITING DAY!
June 9, 2011 at 1:53 am
WOO-HOO right there with ya!
June 9, 2011 at 3:02 am
This might stab me in the back one day for sharing it,
but I have been using my password for certain websites as my marker. This is because I type it very often and it reminds me to “be positive” (I’m not saying what it actually is) every time that I type it.
June 9, 2011 at 3:09 am
Masterbation helps!
June 9, 2011 at 3:44 am
Nothing strange about it. I also use the same password for then all as its to difficult to create and remember separate passwords for each and every one of them.
I looking forward to the day you can sit at a computer and it will recognise you for who you are, either with finger prints or retina, and you don’t have to type a password ever again. Come on science time to catch up.
June 9, 2011 at 3:52 am
It not so strange Billy, I used to do it all the time and also considered myself a gay Christian till about 2 years ago. I don’t anymore, and its due to the treatment I’ve received from other Christians that I decided I don’t want to be one anymore.
I believe that we are all allowed to believe in what we will, so long as you are tolerant and allow others to do the same. The moment you start forcing your beliefs on others I have a problem with that.
I am glad that you have find your happiness in Christ, and I hope that you allow others to chose for themselves, and that you aren’t one of those judgmental ones who are forever trying to force others to join you.
PS: For those of you who are Christians, or were raised as one, here is an interesting website about the bible and what it actually says about being gay: http://www.otkenyer.hu/truluck/the_bible_and_homosexuality.html
June 9, 2011 at 11:24 am
Not all problems can be left at the door, but learning to count your blessings each day can help a lot. Finding strength in adversity is an important key to long-term success.
June 9, 2011 at 11:42 am
I like this. I don’t count my blessings very often. But I do look for the silver lining in every situation being bad or good.
June 9, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I have what was originally described to me as a “god box”. Being agnostic, I don’t call it that any more, but you get the idea. It’s a place to store worries, wishes, concerns, hopes, and — perhaps most importantly — things over which I have no control, such as other people’s behavior. I use my childhood piggy bank (although it’s actually a “doggy bank”), so it has sentimental meaning to me as well.
June 10, 2011 at 9:19 pm
I been through a lot and seen a lot for 17, when i younger i never prayed for myself, i prayed for otheres and prayed god take my love ones pain and give it to me, because i could handle it.
On the day i prayed for myself i ask god to send me love that would never leave and warm me everyday, the next morning i saw the sunrise it warms heart. Gay and he still warmed my heart. God is love in every from.
June 11, 2011 at 3:14 am
If u here of Lincoln or branston that is where I live in england
August 3, 2011 at 1:58 am
Hi Davey!
What a fantastic idea! I’ve been thinking of getting a Buddah to help me with meditation…I just can’t seem shut-down the freeway that is my head! lol! That being said, I do have a little “Zen” corner that I have a going…there’s a small gong, a bell, a mini zen garden and a picture hanging above with the Chinese symbol for “friendship”.
Now if I could just close my mental 401 I think it’d be set!
Thanks for everything you do, you rock!
xo