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June 17, 2010
by Davey Wavey
118 Comments



talky blog: Davey Wavey’s NYC Bathhouse Experience

The wait is over! I’m excited to share my NYC bathhouse experience with you. I made two videos: The longer video (top) is 12-minutes and shares all the details. The shorter video (bottom) is 4-minutes, and is just a summary. Pick your poison. And a special thanks to Matt Maggiacomo at www.ourscenetv.com for joining me on the adventure.

118 Comments

  1. Won’t be so hard to understand in 20 or 30 years, and sweetheart, you’ll be there, as sure as the sun rises tomorrow. Good luck.

  2. FANTASTIC COMMENTS YOU ALL!!! When I first saw this I was mesmerized at the complicated immaturity like one is mesmerized by a traffic accident. I didn’t even know how to address the million and one things wrong with this “report” but you all summed it up perfectly! Davey, you look great but if I’m correct, you’re sliding into your later 20s are you not? This kind of girlish behavior (as fun as it can be at times) is really annoying when you try to be some kind of self help, positive energy guru at the same time. They’re incongruous images and it just comes off so fake at worst, schizophrenic at best. It’s time you stopped the “oooo…wow…discovering the world” act and try to act a little more wizened as you head into true adulthood.

  3. I went many times to that exact bathhouse you describe on the East side. I was a closeted gay guy in a straight marriage, not willing to accept my gayness and my bathhouse visits were in my mind a quirkiness in my personality. Of course back then, I was not gay, in my mind. Only later after a couple years of therapy and a final divorce, did I accept my gayness and now am enjoying my 8 year relationship with my lover. But your video did bring back lots of memories for me. For me, the bathhouses did serve as an outlet during a confused time in my life and I have to admit, they were the start of my coming out process. Thanks for the memories…

  4. The video, was funny…sometimes you all need to relax. Whether it was nerves or immaturity, it was different and as admitted a bit out of the elment of the way people meet these days or at least how some people meet.

    Are you all pissed cuz your OLD? Get over it…it happens. Davey…your are closer to 30 than you are to 20, so your sliding into your golden years…but that does not mean you should stop having fun.

    Davey…just enjoy being you. Ignore all these holier than though folks…people are people. Sometimes we are happy, sometimes we are sad. Sometimes we are silly, sometimes we are stuck up.

    You will NEVER EVER be able to please all of the people all of the time.

  5. Your remarks are accurate & per usual presented with gentle humor. I’m 60 and was never a bath house regular, though many of my buds were. 1970s through 1990s I lived in San Francisco & The Bay Area. Both your observations through my historical perspective made this enjoyabley bittersweet. Thank you.

  6. What a shallow little twink you are. How incredibly sad you two are sitting their showing your titties and giggling like 6th grade girls about your first time in a bathhouse. You name this blog ‘breaktheillusion’ yet you nothing short of stereotypical shaved down ageist. You are so quick to pass judgement on ‘bears’, yet I’d bet a years salary that neither of you have pubes. Ironic that your generation is so freaked by a bathhouse when in fact most of you are incapable of hooking up unless it’s via Manhunt, Adam2Adam, Craigslist, etc.

  7. Bulls eye. His response was nothing short of a 1st grader’s first visit to the zoo! He has shown his true colors in this video and there is no doubt that he is very shallow end of the pool with regard to his understanding and acceptance of the gay community.

  8. The “bath houses” in the US are complete shit. I think they were made illegal? Go to Canada, Mexico, or Europe. There the bath houses are like the way they were in the States in the 70′s only they pass out condoms now. Why are Canadian and European bathouses full of twinks and America’s are not? Please anyone tell me what happened?

  9. DW — you gotta take a careful look at this YouTube vid — report from straight boy who visited gay bathhouse. Really genuine human being, a sweet response. After, I watched your’s again. I wish you some serious reflection. Peace.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GFilNBYP60

  10. Yo! This was very interesting, and not like I would have expected. For some reason I was expecting you to say there was sex everywhere and stuff. I’m quite surprised that it was all behind closed doors. Very interesting to hear what it is like.
    There is a Bath House here in Newcastle in the UK but I have never been, but I would like to go just to see what it’s like

  11. Excellent find, thank you for sharing. As far as DW doing some serious reflection? Doesn’t that only occur every time he strips down to his undies and looks in the mirror or watches one of his videos? The fact that he has not addressed the numerous comments calling him out on this the bathhouse post says it all. He’s incapable of swimming into the deep end of the pool without his floaties.

  12. Oh my god, I have to say that I went to West Side Club for the first time, because my curiosity about these bathhouses peaked. My reaction was exactly the same as Davey’s and Matt. I felt like I fell down the rabbit hole into some type of effed up wonderland. WSC has a huge age range on the weekends, but he majority are older people (I’m 24). All in all, I was certainly followed, groped and intentionally bumped into…I think everyone knew I was fresh meat and wanted a taste. It actually pissed me off a lot by all the attention, but its true about all the action happens behind closed doors…but people are very loud. After about an hour of aimless wandering and being gawked at I left. LOL What a crazy experience.

  13. I started checking this blog because of a couple of posts where Davie urged the readers to embrace and love themselves and understand that they are perfect exactly as they are. Lovely, no doubt.

    I kept reading through the past few months, and things got worse and worse, till I saw this video post when it was released and I was so shocked that it has taken me this long to answer.

    “Every description of reality doesn’t describe reality itself, but only what our brains are capable of seeing at this time.”
    You could have easily not visited the bathhouse and your account of it would have been exactly the same. If you carefully watch and read your reaction before you visited, you will find it quite logical that your “experience” was as it was.
    Clearly you have deep shame about your sexuality and it shows all over the place. If that wasn’t the case, why would you feel the need to let us know that we could “rest assured, it was all research”?
    I find it interesting how you were not taking in what was going on around you. You said you didn’t even see one single cock, even if it appears that a black man was openly showing his. However, you were so shocked about “the promiscuous lifestyle” that you went to get a full spectrum STI check and are now questioning if a good fuck is even worth it… Wow! Talk about guilt.
    I am the same age than you, in pretty comparable physical shape, and yet found your post appalling. Constant comments like:
    “There was a time and place for it.”
    “The generation before us” this and “The generation before us” that.
    “The times are changing and I can’t help but think that most other 20 somethings now get their rocks off in other places.”
    Well, all those are wrong statements. Bathhouses are places where people of all ages go and freely and proudly explore their sexuality. It actually feels great to feel comfortable with your own sexuality and your own body, in whatever state it may be. I greatly recommend you to try that.
    Loving everyone as they are is a lovely concept, but it is entirely incompatible with making fun of the bathhouse attendant because he was old and effeminate while checking you out.
    I would just like to share with you some quotes, so perhaps you see what you showed us:
    “I am a broken person right now.”
    “This is your fault.”
    “It was either giggle or cry”
    “If I got to come here two times a year, I would die.”
    “They thought we were hookers, because… what else could we be doing there?”

    “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

    Sorry, that one was not you, but Proust.

    There goes self-acceptance…

  14. What AFFECTED clueless queens providing commentary on an era in which they weren’t EVEN ALIVE!!

  15. As a young gay man I understand where DW is coming from. Bathhouses are foreign to me and my generation. Me going to a bathhouse is similar to me bringing my straight friends to a gay bar.

  16. How are you not embarrassed by this? You both behave like children in this video. I think you need to learn to grow up.

  17. I loved the video, you two were so cute in it. I have never been to a bath house, but the way you describe it the same way as most of my friends describe them. I was told early on that it was not the kind of place I would care for. I expect your reaction to the experience would be very similar to mine. I tend to laugh then cry. The only experience I have had that would come close to the guy grabbing your crock happed at the gym, when the guy grabbed my crouch and told me he likes big guys, I could not say anything thing either. I think I will stick to internet dating. Keep up the good work I just love your blog and I love you.

  18. I recently came across your site and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment.
    I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading.

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