Is sex a human want or a human need? Can you be happy, healthy and well-adjusted without getting your rocks on? Here’s what I think:
Is sex a human want or a human need? Can you be happy, healthy and well-adjusted without getting your rocks on? Here’s what I think:
July 22, 2010 at 9:24 am
i love a nice big throbbing if.
July 22, 2010 at 9:25 am
I don’t think exploring your sexuality is a need either. But not doing so is likely to get you unfulfilled and generally unhappy (but still alive…).
x
July 22, 2010 at 9:31 am
I’ve always preferred getting my rocks off, rather than on…
July 22, 2010 at 9:42 am
“Exploring your sexuality” sounds like a polite euphemism for being a raging slut. Without any context of responsibility or consequences, this video sounds to me like a justification for being easy.
July 22, 2010 at 9:46 am
Further, the benefits described are not unique to sex. So yes, you can be healthy, happy, fulfilled, and celibate.
July 22, 2010 at 10:02 am
DW-Bravo! great post. I have a couple opinions and by no means am I recommending this to anyone. What a person does with their own bodies is a personal decision.
I am a devout Roman Catholic, my boyfriend is a devout Roman Catholic. We are not what American’s call “cafeteria Catholics” picking and choosing what to accept or not accept. As a homosexual man its always been a struggle what I wanted to do with my body or my feelings vs what my faith ask of me. DW perhaps you being an x-catholic you had these same struggles. One thing I knew I could not do was throw my faith away. I can’t do that. So if I sinned I went to confession, try my best to live the life God ask of me, sometimes I did okay job other times I didn’t.
Me and my boyfriend felt we were living a lie. We say we were good Catholics but then we continue to sin. We were total hypocrites. We did try to do what was asked but we didn’t try hard enough. At least people who left the faith were more honest than we were. Its true.
After our last confession which my whole family goes together all 11 of us, which was on June 26th. Nicola (BF) and I talked and we shared our thoughts we decided the time of charades and lies were over. We had to make a decision are we going to live the faith God ask of us or are we going to leave the faith. This luke-warm crap had run its course. We decided it was time to live the life God asks of us. We have been celibate since the time of our last confession. Has it been difficult? Yes, you could say that. But life is difficulty. We take up our cross offer it to Christ and we take it a day at a time.
In no way to am I pushing this on anyone but any gay catholic must come to terms with their sexuality and faith. What they do with it is their decision. Grazie, davide
July 22, 2010 at 10:57 am
Personally I feel that there is no direct need for sex. It became desirable by the era we now live in, which consists of widely visible nakedness or simple very revealing clothing.
We are, everyday, confronted with sex. If not by walking down the street then by the media which is fed to us via TV, radio, newspapers or the internet.
Of course, one could explore his or her sexuality, but why should that involve actually going so far as to actually HAVE sex?
Davide said he and his boyfriend are now celibate. I used to be Roman Catholic as well and can relate to how he must feel.
BUT!!! I do want to share this pure thing with my boyfriend (granted I’ll be lucky to bump into one). I feel that it would be wrong not to be somewhat intimate with him. Not for lust, but because I love him.
July 22, 2010 at 11:15 am
Who says we are intimate? Intimacy is not sex. In fact I would argue Nicola and I are more intimate with each other now more than ever…spiritual intimacy and friendship. But each thier own.
July 22, 2010 at 11:15 am
arent*
July 22, 2010 at 11:33 am
There are lots of people who also very dysfunctional because of their attitudes and understandings who are having tons of sex.
Let us also remember that there are some people in the world who are celibate not out of choice, or something has happened to them that won’t allow them to have sex. I wouldn’t necessarily conclude that they are dysfunctional.
Bottom line: being sexual and healthy is a state of being, having sex is a physical action.
July 22, 2010 at 11:42 am
I may not look like that… But I look like this. http://www.twitpic.com/27m0os
July 22, 2010 at 11:47 am
Studies show that if you Have sex regularly you reduce the risk of prostate cancer. So technically you could die if you don’t have sex
July 22, 2010 at 11:56 am
While on an individual basis sex may not be needed and not be of harm, on a more global basis harm would come the the overall human race if there was no more sex.
July 22, 2010 at 11:59 am
Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just…. when I look at intimacy between two people who are in a committed relationship, it’s not hard to link that intimacy with sex. Now, I know that intimacy isn’t just sex, but I decided to use that word, not to have to use the word sex. Because sex is so easy to get. Like groceries in the store. Intimacy, also in my case, isn’t just sex. But I do believe sex is a part of being intimate with your significant other. be it gay or straight. And sex with that special someone isn’t just sex. To me, it’s an art to show how much I love my boyfriend. In retrospect I should say “making love”, but I thought intimacy was more apt to use in this case.
So again, I didn’t mean to offend you (and sorry if I did) but I felt compelled to say what I thought needed saying.
July 22, 2010 at 11:59 am
he is 100% correct, however Davey was just saying is there anyone whoever died from having sex (with the exception of AIDS he commented)
July 22, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Hilarious post Davey!!! And as usual, a lot of truth as well … Hugs!
July 22, 2010 at 3:06 pm
I think you can explore your sexuality without having sex. I think this is one of the points made in the video.
July 22, 2010 at 4:01 pm
In nursing school we learned Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. They categorize our needs on a spectrum with the end goal of “Self-actualization.” Sex is considered a basic physiological need by all humans. I agree this isn’t necessarily intercourse, but that you must understand your sexuality and be comfortable with the amount and type of sex you have.
July 22, 2010 at 4:52 pm
I know one would be ok without sex, but youll be a horney man. I dont know if its the same in women, but for guys we have a release in wet dreams.
So if you wait long enough you will wet the bed… If thats the way for you to get off then rock on, but if not, then enjoy a healthy and entertaining way to love yourself and masturbate.
Believe & Smile… Siempre Sonrie!!!
July 22, 2010 at 5:19 pm
That’s totally your own inference and assumption, you can explore your sexuality in a committed loving relationship without having tons of partners or giving it away in a perfunctory fashion.
Sex and sexuality is nothing to be ashamed nor feel guilty about, there are over 6 billion people in this world how do you think they all got here?
July 22, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Remember though – the definition Davey Wavey uses is not having a need can cause dysfunction. I think that not exploring your sexuality probably won’t kill you, but it can definitely cause some dysfunction.
July 22, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Sex is a need. Just like oxygen, it might take longer to die from lack of human contact than from not breathing or eating (sexsphyxiation?) but it is still a vital REQUIRED thing. Even those who somehow manage to avoid sex still think about it on average 9 times a minute. You might physically survive not having sex (even masturbation which IS sex) but to thrive and be viable you must have sex, even if it is just flirting with Rosey Palm and her five sisters.
I know one thing Mr. Wavey, I would thrive a lot better if I had a man like you in my life.
July 23, 2010 at 12:21 am
“We will leave no stone left unturned that is for DAMN sure”
Love it. Awesome as always Davey Wavey
July 23, 2010 at 12:40 am
lol
you never fail to put a smile on my face.
Thankyou
July 23, 2010 at 6:29 am
Davey you start my morning better than a cup of Joe
July 23, 2010 at 7:52 am
I cannot imagine what struggles you have gone through with this. The thing that disturbs me about conflicts between faith and behavior is that often “faith” is what has been accepted from the utterances of other people rather than the experiences of one’s own life. I do not understand why anyone would choose to deny one’s existence in favor of someone else’s assessment. Just because someone claims to speak with the authority of a god in no way makes the utterances true. If the utterances mean anything at all, they are just the means by which one group of people exert power over others by getting the subdued to surrender their own judgment and experience. Why not have faith in your own existence which, if you wish, you may attribute to a god? Why surrender yourself to the judgment of other people, even if they arrogantly insist that they speak with a god’s voice?
July 23, 2010 at 9:39 am
Davey, |One could get along without having sex in some form of “getting your rocks off” (not getting them “on” as you wrote! After all, they are attached pretty firmly to the body at the groin. L.O.L.). I guess that monks and nuns when they really do keep their vows find ways to sublimate sex, but I doubt that many men, especially, really succeed in doing so completely! Mother Theresa, among women, must be a rare case.
I have been at points in my life when I tried to repress my gay sexuality. That never has lasted for very long, as you well could imagine! Long live the throbbing pecker and the bulging balls!
July 23, 2010 at 9:47 am
One mans religion is another mans foley.
July 23, 2010 at 9:59 am
While I believe the Church is terribly misguided on this issue, I applaud you for being true to your beliefs.
July 23, 2010 at 10:03 am
Of course you do-but thanks
July 23, 2010 at 11:09 am
ok so you prefer uncut
July 23, 2010 at 3:09 pm
I ponder whether it is sex we crave or the touch and close contact of another human being, much as my autistic 7 year old son describes the need for hugs as “big cuddles”. Sure the endorphin rush feels great but I could probably just about survive without it as long as that didn’t mean missing the hugs and kisses of my family.
July 23, 2010 at 4:30 pm
I went through this for years off an on. I came out of American fundamentism in the misdwest. (BTW have you seen “Latter Days”) I believe practicing a faith or anything else requires assenting to it without reservation. Which means if God does not condone homosexual activity then he did not make me gay. Therefore he would have created me (or provide a way for me to be) what he intended me to be. I would not have to stay celibate just to keep some sort of religious law. God is not an ogre sitting up in heaven saying “I’m going to create gays and then tell them they can’t practice homosexuality.”. I know about all the “change” ministries and have read about the so called success rates. I spent years asking God for change. Finally I prayed at the end of my rope “Ok, God if you don’t care then I don’t either.” and came out with a vengence.
July 23, 2010 at 9:01 pm
The only problem I have with what you say davide is that God asks it of you…he doesn’t…your religion does…there is big difference. If you are happy to sacrifice enjoyment of your sexuality for your religion I wish you true happiness.
Life is not about suffering. Life is about living and growing through our experiences, both negative and positive. Life is about loving and God is love.
Isn’t that what religions tell us? I wish you and your partner love.
July 23, 2010 at 11:17 pm
We’ve had this discussion before and I don’t want to open a can of worms but God IS love and God doesn’t make mistakes. Our sexuality is a gift. The fact that some of us happen to be homosexual vs. heterosexual doesn’t change the fact that it is a gift. I applaud Davide’s family, their closeness, their openness with one another, and their staunch faith. It is really admirable. But I wonder if they were to discuss these points (God is love/God doesn’t make mistakes), what conclusions might they draw? It is the institutional churh that takes issue with homosexuality but for no solid reasons. Jesus never preached anything but love one another. That, for me, has been comforting.
July 24, 2010 at 12:19 am
For the record, the urge does wane somewhat with andropause. It by no means goes away, there just isn’t the same urgency and obsession about sex. After half a century of being ruled by the penis, it ain’t so bad taking control
July 24, 2010 at 5:31 am
Amici-thanks for the concern-but Davide is a smart guy-not a zombie controlled by a religion. It’s easier to criticize than to give charity. But how one chooses to live ones life is something so personal in nature that others might simply state the obvious “I do not understand you.”
But I refuse to play the part of a victim–too much of that in the world, especially in the gay community–so I take my beatings and move on. Okay, heading to gym then to the pool- a dopo- ciao
July 24, 2010 at 8:26 am
Ciao, bello. Happy swimming.
July 24, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Hurrah for the asexuals. Support from the homos!
July 24, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Awe I also have an autistic child in my family my beautiful 11 year old brother–he is such a blessing to us..he very affectionate with us, loves hugs and kisses. Your son and I am sure you would agree is a gift from God.
July 25, 2010 at 1:14 am
Oh dear, what struggle have you been through! why do you continue this foley, God do not exist, there is no creator, faith is a an organization to control people lives nothing more. Please free your self from God, don’t believe in fairy tales of yore, I once live in this illusion, in a world controlled by some being, then I thought if this being exists and created all that existed, there for it must have a creator that create it and this creator will also have another creator and so on …, this is mythology, lies and fairy tales. Please live your live in a healthy, honest and free manner and learn to accept what you are by your self. Never let anyone tell you to believe in his God.
July 26, 2010 at 3:33 am
Hei! Thanks. Em…I agree what you have said. Sex is a ‘nature’ when we develope it but it’s also a ‘cautious’ when we experience it. What I could commends is ‘Man is the fastest way to feel about it but Woman take time to feel it’. That’s how I’m going through with my daily emotion=)
July 31, 2010 at 7:50 am
I think sex is quality in human beings and it is on human beings either they make it want or need. It varies person to person.
August 7, 2010 at 10:24 am
Hey Davey,
I agree with your opinion at the end on why sex is important. I don’t think a person can be completely healthy and be celebate. To be healthy and well adjusted a person must acknowledge every single part of themselves and actively excersise all of those parts. I know every one hates when a person uses scripture as a point… but I will… Jesus even tells us that we must not become so strict to the laws and to rightousness that we forget to be consistently affectionate with those around us. Also SEX is on the lowest rung of Maslow’s Heirarchy of needs… you know that little pyramid a person has to learn in secondary psychology. SEX in Maslow’s opinion is as important as food and shelter.
Kenneth R. Livingston
P.S. a way a person could be celebate is if celebate was defined by sex being penetrative.
November 3, 2010 at 2:44 am
How is the church wrong, all sin is there is nothing you can do about it,but repent and ask for healing for sexual desires when you are not married to the opposite sex. God made sex yes but it has an order.
November 3, 2010 at 3:00 am
Anyone over the age of 8 that still believes in religion is really sad, notice I did not say spirituality and the appreciation for mystery in your life, just the whole vengeful sky god of war BS and how lustful erotic and downright sexy thoughts and acts are somehow wrong. Sex between consenting adults is just about never wrong, and those that disagree should be true to themselves by abstaining, and hopefully not reproducing, and if you do manage to pop a few puppies out please do not contaminate their minds with your prurient and adolescent fascination with what others do in their own personal lives.
Sex by the way is a need, by almost any definition of the word NEED, it is in your genetics at a molecular level, you cannot get away from it no matter how one tries.
November 4, 2010 at 9:59 am
That’s what YOU think! Or better said, that’s what your religion thinks! The world doesn’t revolve around YOUR religion, asshole! There are plenty of other religions and denominations with their own opinions and views. Pick one, practice it any way you want but STFU and stop condemning people who don’t agree with you!
March 31, 2011 at 9:53 pm
Hmmm. How about we consider sex to be any form of gratification, including masturbation. Then we take that gratification away.
I did a (haha) “study” in which I started regularly increasing the intervals between masturbatory activity. I was unemployed and bored, and as such had nothing better to do (which is also probably solid reasoning as to why I failed in this endeavor so epically). I didn’t get the entire “documentary” up before I quit posting, but there is more. Here are the results:
http://masturbation-documentary.tumblr.com/
June 29, 2011 at 12:34 pm
ta re maa ne bos
October 9, 2011 at 9:04 am
I found this new article from one of the forum, quite interesting to read.before start reading, you should keep in mind that this explanation is predicted that aims to please you and your partner. Believe it, and no matter if it is not trusted … Aries
Aries zodiac known someone who is very clever fishing partner and stimulate sexual desire. It’s just not quite innovative Aries during lovemaking. Aries is another weakness, is jealous.
Read more: http://socyberty.com/sexuality/sex-based-on-the-star-style/#ixzz1aHxpj2Y8