Life is full of wonderful little gifts – perhaps none greater than waiting in line. Whether it’s the department of motor vehicles, the post office or a busy shopping center, waiting in line is a wonderful excuse to do nothing and relax. It’s like the universe is saying, “Hey, here’s a little mini break. Enjoy it.”
Yesterday, though, the old lady in front of me couldn’t quite come to appreciate her unexpected delay. Watch the video below, via Davey Wavey Raw:
August 29, 2010 at 1:01 pm
I love this post. It is so true. I used to get irritated when I would get stopped by a train in the small town in which I live. There are no over or underpasses and you just have to sit it out. I finally realized that it was a great opportunity to just put the truck in park, lean back, turn up the radio, and enjoy the moment. It just goes to show you that you can’t always control every event that happens to you, but you CAN control your response.
August 29, 2010 at 1:02 pm
i really don’t know why some old people act like that! for me age is a mental state, not a number, there can be a 5 yo man and a 30 yo boy. So i don’t get those people!
August 29, 2010 at 1:07 pm
And having worked in retail for many years….if the person was on break, s/he probably probably was deserving of it. I have missed many a break in my life because of the public in front of me.
I am like you DAvey. I use these times to meet a new person or just be thankful for what I do have.
August 29, 2010 at 1:25 pm
I’m so happy to hear you say this – I’ve been telling my friends the same for years. I usually have something with me I can read or I take the opportunity to write up some observations on a notepad or I just stand there and compose a poem in my head. I value these moments. They give us the opportunity to take a break, ourselves, which is a luxury these days. Getting worked up achieves nothing and just suggests you have no inner resources, which is sad. I realise that sometimes people are running to a schedule and being delayed is hurting them, but in such situations I tell myself “I should have allowed more time. This is out of my control and I am going to use this time as efficiently as possible” and I stay calm and cheerful
August 29, 2010 at 1:25 pm
So very true. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to us. Enjoy California Dw! Mountain View is nice. Just got back from Ca visiting my family.
Much love to U!
August 29, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Yes it would be nice if we all enjoyed our slow time but we don’t. I’ve encountered similar situations as you mentioned Davey. I try to listen and be sympathetic because we rarely know the stories behind people.
Did they just lose someone, is their health bad, or more simply is this a rare moment that presents them with someone to talk to?
We don’t know. So try to be kind and patient and maybe tell them a joke or two to lighten their mood.
T
August 29, 2010 at 2:53 pm
I get your point, and by-and-large agree with it. However, as an old guy, I take exception to your one dimensional and somewhat cruel characterization of older people. I know – she was just one person, but just because one is 80 years old, does not oblige that person to be counting the days remaining in the body. Living in the moment goes for all of us.
August 29, 2010 at 3:33 pm
DW….I am somewhat surprised at your tirade towards this 80 year old woman. I have a 94 year old father and if he had to stand in line for two minutes he’d be complaining……NOT for the inconvenience of it all BUT because of the pain he’d be feeling. I am sure older people have ‘stood in lines’a lot throughout their lives.
As we get older the body gets weaker. How do you know why this woman was reacting the way she was? Where’s the compassion there DW?!
August 29, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Hi DW let me tell you that because of my job, I have to go to the Banks everyday, either to make a deposit or get the nocturne bags, and some days I feel really frustrated because of the lines, and I never thought in enjoying myself during that time, so I wont be like the woman you met yesterday and I foccus on myself and enjoy the line-time…
August 29, 2010 at 3:49 pm
We can choose to accept poor service and inconvenience when conducting business and become oblivious (or even blissful) with it… or we can try to change things for the better. I would not have been standing in line pissed off… I would have tried to speak with the person in charge to get the situation fixed for everyone. The ability to feel peaceful in a bad situation doesn’t help anyone but yourself.
August 29, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I saw something beautiful in the older woman. To be in her 80′s and still standing in line at the post office and speaking cogently with all her faculties is inspiring! To get to that point in her life and still be relatively well, she must have made some good choices and had some good fortune along the way. May she be blessed with many more years of wellness and may she always have the fortitude to defend what she thinks is right. – http://www.AClearForest.com
August 29, 2010 at 6:24 pm
i agree totally with jim…my mom is 99 y/o and her solution to waiting in line is to have me do it for her…you really don’t know what she is going through…give her a break
August 29, 2010 at 6:32 pm
I took the time to go back and watch Davey’s video again. I really don’t see him intending to be cruel to the elderly.
It’s more humor at the fact he has learned the lesson of patience and to enjoy slow downs in life. He mused surprised in her long time here she had not.
The only thing I can say is what I have already. Maybe a bit more sympathy and good humor toward her. But then we can all do with that.
T
August 29, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Oh and Davey if you noticed your mother had flowers other than sunflowers in the sunflower room. See she can surprise you. LOL
August 29, 2010 at 8:08 pm
I’m usually a patient and forgiving person, and am willing to wait to take my turn. However, I have had difficulty walking, and even more standing for much of the last six years. Things are considerably better this summer, but frankly, when I have seen that I would have to stand for more than a VERY brief time, I would get kind of panicky if there wasn’t also something to lean upon, as I couldn’t be assured of staying upright. I’m not elderly, and don’t look frail, but as you know looks are often deceiving.
Just another possibility . . . .
August 29, 2010 at 8:30 pm
PS. The link above should be AClearForestPath
August 29, 2010 at 9:12 pm
im not elderly either, but high five and the meds to treat it have weakened my joints and given me a wicked case of peripheral neuropathy…. it is way painful to run, walk, and especially to stand in line for more that a very brief period of time… i try to make the best of it, smile, cowboy up and be at least courteous, but i dont always succeed… cut the old woman a little slack… pain makes fools of us all sometimes..
August 29, 2010 at 9:19 pm
It wouldn’t play for me
August 29, 2010 at 9:27 pm
Wow! I’m offended by part of this video post. Your basic point is that there are things over which we have no control, and there is no point in getting stressed out when that happens. I agree. This has nothing to do with the age of the person involved. Was she impatient? Yes. Did that have anything to do with being 80? No.
What I found offensive was when you said “I know it is presumptuous to assume that because the woman is eighty years old she probably doesn’t have much else to do in her life except watch, like, the Price is Right or something. Maybe she’s like the CEO of some company, or, maybe because she’s eighty years old she realizes that she doesn’t have a lot of days or hours left in her life and she doesn’t want to spend her few remaining hours like waiting in line at the post office…”
One of the first lessons I learned when I came out was if you don’t want people to discriminate against you, don’t discriminate against others. Where’s your empathy for the other person? As several people said, you have no idea what is going on with this lady.
I’m guessing this lady is about the same age as your grand parents. Would you say something like that to your grandmother? Are you going to point out to your grandmother that she doesn’t have many days remaining? I doubt this would pass the “mother” test. Let your mother hear these words and see if she is offended. I think it was a mean thing to say. You’re a better person than this.
August 29, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Davey, I hope you never have to deal with the debilitating and painful effects of arthritis – which afflicts so many older adults. My Mom is 91 and has had arthritis for so many years her hip is almost completely disintegrated. She still gets around but standing in a line for more than a few seconds is physically impossible for her. As long as she is moving (or sitting), she is ok.
I suspect you have not experienced either first or second-hand any of the multitude of physical problems many people have which cause pain when standing in a line for any appreciable length of time. (This includes retail as well as postal facilities.)
It is nice to be able to use that time to “chill” when we can, but not everyone has the luxury of being able to do it.
August 30, 2010 at 3:08 am
Hi Davey, love you, good job on your wedding attendance as we should always support whom we care for. Love is not about taking but about giving also. By the way Davey did you check Tom of Finland, I would love to see you commenting on him, and did you check Village People, please check them.
Love Gayguy
August 30, 2010 at 3:16 am
My grandpa is 81 and he can barely walk with his walker. It gets harder to enjoy standing in a line when it is triggering pain that may last all day long. I think you need to really put yourself in her shoes, you are young and healthy but she wasn’t.
August 30, 2010 at 8:25 am
Davey, iLove-you but iHave-to agree-with Lee and Kewljim. You need to stop and “re-think” about the manner in which you referenced the “elderly woman.” iHope you’ll “think-about” and “take to heart”what Lee and Kewljim have conveyed
.’ Love and Peace , _ _ _ davvi
August 30, 2010 at 5:23 pm
How did you know she was 80, she could be like a very old looking 50-year-old, stress ages you so it would make sense.
Ha, just kidding ; )
August 30, 2010 at 6:49 pm
I love Davey’s attitude! He and I think a lot alike sometimes. Too many people today are frustrated and focused on the petty things in life and allow pettiness to spoil their mood. Why not just go through the day enjoying life’s little experiences and maintain a good mood about it all.
August 30, 2010 at 7:03 pm
Davey, I like your blog page so much, I am going to click on every add so you earn some well deserved $$$$
August 30, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Davey, arent you too young to have all this wisdom?? I think you’re the Dalai Lama of gay young people
I’m incredibly curious to see what you are like when you are 40 and a little more jaded, I’m sure you will be a little more jaded in an adorable way
August 30, 2010 at 10:44 pm
Nah, crap. Having to stand in line and waste MY time is not what I am paying for when I am purchasing something.
Difficult when it is a Post Office, but if I am ever kept waiting by a retail outlet then it only happens once, I find another shop/service that does not have a line.
Sure people need to take breaks, I don’t have an issue with the poelpe behind the counter, I have issue with their bosses for making me waste my time.
Stuff it, I’m paying for it, I want service.
Greg in Adelaide.
August 30, 2010 at 11:44 pm
Hmmm… Davey, I have to join the chorus of people who found you insensitive to the old lady. I rarely disagree with you, but your characterization sounded dismissive and ageist.
When I go to the post office, I try to remember to take a magazine so I can read while in line. I try not to focus on the fact that the employees behind the counter seem to be taking pains to make one trip to the back per item, instead of thinking of way to be more efficient, and also seem to walk at about half the speed of a normal person, as if they were afraid to collide with another equally slow person. I know they’re not paid a lot for their jobs, but there are other people who would take those jobs to be able to pay their rent, so perhaps they could show the customers that they appreciate that we’re giving them a job at all.
Lines can be mildly annoying, or totally ridiculous. Yesterday, I was flying from Austin to Raleigh. I got to the airport about an hour and 10 minutes before my flight time. I was about 15th in line. The United Airlines check-in line was so ineptly managed that it took 45 minutes to get to the kiosk at the front. By then, the kiosk refused to check me in because it was less than 30 minutes to departure. Yet it took another 15 minutes to get human help. They told me that they couldn’t put me on the flight (I could have taken my suitcase, rushed through security, and checked it at the door of the plane if they had been willing to bust their asses a bit about it and give one phone call to the gate) and they blamed me for not having alerted them (through the confusion they were creating) that I was in a hurry. Throughout the whole charade, the United agents were surly, snappy, bitchy, and generally unhelpful. In the end, they rerouted me through Chicago, I left 2 hours late and arrived 3 hours late. Did I find humor and relaxation in standing in that line? Not a bit. Am I an old fart? Yes, by your standards I am since I am more than twice your age.
I think it’s admirable that you have a positive attitude about everything, but I wish you weren’t so judgmental about people who can’t always be that way when subjected to other people’s ill will or incompetence.
Claude
August 31, 2010 at 6:34 am
Davey,
SPOT ON.
Peace,
Rick