With so many bottom jokes in the air, I couldn’t resist. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a discussion worth having.
With so many bottom jokes in the air, I couldn’t resist. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a discussion worth having.
April 28, 2010 at 10:06 pm
“Can I check your oil with my dip stick?” just came to mind.
April 29, 2010 at 2:35 am
This co-worker of mine who was famously called “Cute Kevin”( an apt nickname to say the least) he was dressed in a home made Devil’s suit for his Halloween party.Long John underwear I believed it was called as I’ve never lived in climate cold enough to justify it he being a recent transplant from northern Michigan while me a pretty much Orange County Ca lad. It didn’t help his masculinity much by him eluding to my gayness (A term that seemed exclusive to him) His underwear was dyed red along with his face and chest and he would always blush around me saying “You don’t blush bitch and now that I have this red stuff on it’s hidden but your not going to get away it this time c**t.” “Game on. Dream on. You Devil, your making me hot you are the Devil after all.” He said, everyone blushed but you when I called you ‘c**t.’ “”Is that all you got, c**t?” I said. “He said “The night is young.” I said,” And lets give them a night of debauchery without even a single drink they can use as an excuse,” I said.”Agreed. Now your making me hot,” he said. By this time my curiosity of him wearing underwear under his underwear was dispelled by his ever rising bulge and not to be out done he was checking out my package as well confirming to me he was “straight bait. sat Then he sat down.and I said “War.” He said,”Say what?”
he said. “War dude I’m declaring war,” I replied he gave me a weird look and then turned around and said “s**t.I just bent my tail.” and got up and I went right behind him and cooed “Ohhh. I can fix THAT.” in an inflection of sexual innuendo I was just getting started and I was leading up slowly to a full Barry White. He said “You can have my tail when I’m done with my costume as a souvenir” he said. “Both?” I said. By now everyone was getting my game and he said “Leave my tail alone.” I said “you couldn’t fix it yourself if you tried without taking the whole thing off can’t you say something original like you perve Mr. Whiffle stop squeezing the Charminnnn?” I was in the full mode now singing to a Barry White song and dancing the rhythm to it a few people got the song and started singing “Never never ever going to do that again ohaa nooo yeaaa then came the fantastic rhythm part and people started to clap to the rhythm and move to it and some one said, “Somebody has got to have that song in their car at least it is so classic” I said if they do leave it there live for the moment and the memory now.” “Right on” some said. Some one had said Devil boy’s ears went from cooked shrimp to those little mini lobsters called langua something.” some one yelled out “Langostinos.”(I have no idea how to spell it just pronounce it) They’re done now.” Everyone laughed now and Kevin asked me “What’`s going on?”I said, “Your blushing through you’re ears you forgot to put that red s**t over them. Looks like the Devil is foiled again. At that moment I whisked off Kevin to a private place and told him a personal story that he deserved after what I put him through. I knew he was going to really laugh his ass off but what happened I wasn’t prepared for he was convulsing and shaking and I had to keep him in a bear hug for a few minutes. “Dude that was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” “It’s mostly true we were forced to hold court in the lobby while everyone and I mean everyone thanked us for the ‘most entertainment ever and truly their most hilarious moment ever during a real shitty movie was most appropriate and loved by all we should have our own show’ We were expecting some flak from die hard Karate fans and there were none. People were still reeling with tears after rolling in the aisles.”I believe it, all of it’s such crazy ass s**t.” I said “My best friend said, “You’re the only one I know that can appreciate these notoriously bad movies and you make sure everyone has a good time anyway even if they are so shitty. You’ve done it so many times and so many places people say where’s your friend we so miss him I have to keep saying he’s at work and can’t come.” I said “it’s time to work the party now.” “Your working my party.” “If you recall you more or less challenged me to a dual.We came out and I said, “I didn’t go into my usual routine that calls for the “the proud bird with golden tail” tale. And pilots tell me it’s usual fare that never gets old that keeps them from drinking at the bar. Everyone is laughing hysterically now. And I say “I’m not making this up it’s true.” They laugh harder. I can’t resist laughing out load so everyone joins me when invariably some one in the restaurant says ” Honey. Do you want a piece of my tail?” Everyone is cracking up. A customer has the waiter send me a new drink and the waiter says “we’d like to comp it ourselves but it seems a friend of yours beat us to it.” I usually get multiple offers to pick up my check and waiters have warned me long ago it results in quarrels and to not accept them. On the unusual occurrence I only get one offer from him/her the waiter says “please accept and make their day.” Which I do. I was told at the “Velvet Turtle” that “I had free deserts there for life.” I’ve taken them at their offer a few times and told whoever I was with if there was no one who recognized me don’t push the issue there usually was and one time I was too full for it and others insisted on it for them and I was not pleased about it. One time someone even offered to pay for my meal a rare occurrence as usually I had to pay for theirs. And I did not have to go through that awkwardness, as the restaurant had closed mere weeks after our last visit. It became an old money hang out and I was not feeling old, money or otherwise and was a chapter in my life that needed to close.I remember Orson Wells saying, “I wasted too much of my life at Perinos.” After many years being bewildered by that statement, I finally understood it after years waiting for someone to push you out of the rut the person most qualified for the job is yourself. While they were clapping Kevin insisted I tell the story. I told him this crowd was a little to PG for my more than off color dissertation. and I preferred leaving on a high note the low note of Barry White was enough. One day I’ll tell the story but this post is entirely too long and “Midnight at the oasis put you’re camel to bed.”
April 29, 2010 at 2:40 am
Hugh? I don’t get it. I’m declaring this blog entry a hate free non overly judgmental zone right now, be nice now.
April 29, 2010 at 4:36 am
I actually feel sorry for guys who have enormous c***s too big for nearly everyone. One guy told me “I’m pretty much a bottom by default and discovered the pleasure of rimming an being rimmed. The size queens love to play with my c**k and although I’m down with it their bummed it’s just about all they can do with it. A lot of guys wish they had my problem. And I said it can be a righteous pain in the ass quite often.” “I find that particularly amusing given that I have had a dildo about your size and the lady at the “Pleasure Chest” who sold it to me said “surely this can’t be your first dildo” I said, “It is.” “Let me show you something more based on reality.” The reality is I don’t expect to take it all at once. It’s a long process of a little at a time. Now wrap it up it up.” “It’s your life.” she said shaking her head. “Friends of mine wanted me to put on a show for them and I preferred a one on one and said your free to report your findings just don’t do it in front of me, I said.” “You were able to take on someone my size?” he said intently “At several points in my life well yes probably but now we’ll both experience my “reviginization” now. But it wouldn’t take me long to get where I left off.” ” Damn.” he said. “I so would have loved you being the whole package and not defined by your c**k “Was I saving myself for dream guy with dream dick? I’d likely say no.I knew he had something to say to me about doing porn and I was familiar with his work even knowing his stage name. Yes there are popular videos on older vs. younger and vice versa and even though I no longer date porn stars much anymore even having not much of a reputation to protect after being retired for 10 years now.
April 29, 2010 at 5:46 am
Exactly everyone is coming out saying yea Davey I’m a bottom too same is(sic) you. While I can see someone misinterpret a phone conversation with a bad connection or some trying to talk with you during loud traffic noise and proves impossible to interpret Thar whole story. How do you validate your selective listening “skills” and transfer that to the written word? I guess people not only want what they want to hear but apply that to written material as well. That’s bull s**t. Pure and simple.
April 29, 2010 at 6:50 am
Davey, this ur best blog yet; this has made me think about why I’m such a confirmed bottom; I know that I have hooked up with several other hot bottoms and our sex just didn’t get off the ground….for some it’s really important…some just can’t top.
April 29, 2010 at 8:02 am
Thw whole top – bottom thing it just silly. We are all gay. Who cares about the sexual role? We just have to label everything.
Love the new, simpler videos…
April 29, 2010 at 12:11 pm
How does one refer to fart in a gay bar’s restroom? A love call.
April 29, 2010 at 9:26 pm
I don’t think it has anything to do with gay’s self-loathing, it all goes back to how we as a society feel about women. Even after all these years, women are still thought of as “less than” men. Being feminine is thought of as weakness when it actually should be celebrated. We all need to embrace both sides of our beings.
April 29, 2010 at 10:24 pm
Very,very astute and correct point.
May 3, 2010 at 7:30 pm
I think you’re cute.
May 5, 2010 at 5:49 am
Good point. I would also like to add once again those of us who don’t like any anal, and prefer frot most of the time. Anal is kind of gross, and I would also like to know if douching is expected? I think Davey should do a thread on anal alternatives.
May 5, 2010 at 10:09 am
I’m so over the “top or bottom” fad. It needs to end. Why are we labeling and categorising each other?
May 11, 2010 at 4:35 pm
True True Davey. haha I like the “I have big shoulders I can take it” lol
June 7, 2010 at 8:54 pm
oooh wow. hahaha
July 1, 2010 at 4:53 am
I’m with you, I’m a gay switch, versatile, but I also like to be a man, I’m gay because I like men, I wanna be a man, a macho man. So I really don’t think that men who want to be women are gay, their transsexual, with all due respect,
cuz we gays love men and to be men