Blog buddy Josh sent me an email describing the details of his situation. He goes to a public high school, and wants to take his boyfriend to the prom. But he’s afraid, and he wants some help and advice.
Click below to watch the talky blog via my second YouTube channel, DaveyWaveyRaw:
Do you think Josh should bring his boyfriend to the prom? Vote below:
January 19, 2011 at 4:19 pm
My boyfriend took my to his prom and we were the only gay couple there, it was wonderful and we had an awesome time. Someone said something but its just words, don’t let them hurt you. I hope you take him and I hope you have a wonderful time.
January 19, 2011 at 4:26 pm
I would do it. I didnt really have a boyfriend in high school, but now that I’m in college and my very serious partner and I talk about how we wish we could have had that experience.
January 19, 2011 at 6:42 pm
I say give it a shot > If you can get a hold of the movie Prom Queen > The Marc Hall Story,(2004) It seems like a long time ago my home town (Oshawa ON) was up in arms > but trails have been blazed for a purpose >
January 19, 2011 at 6:57 pm
hey Dave am from Rincon Puerto Rico and last year i had my prom and i took my boyfriend and well people where ok with it bout we did not kiss cause we respect other’s people opinion and they respect are relationship we got ti slow dance and we even hold hands there small steps but it make a big deferents. and josh should take him but respect to the other people rights just like they respect his.
January 19, 2011 at 7:17 pm
DO It… the old saying goes ” those who mind don’t matter.. those who matter don’t mind.. when you get out of school and look back at your class mates most likely you will see a few people that you didnt even know was gay. the others dont really matter..
January 19, 2011 at 7:59 pm
I think:
Josh should bring his boyfriend to the prom. This is his prom and he’d want the best. I went to four proms i loved them all. I wished i had went to a prom with a boy. That just sounds so exciting to me. My senior year, a boy at my school did bring his boyfriend to our school prom. It was no biggie..
There shouldn’t be discrimination anywhere. Josh should do it for himself. Have courage. If he has all the support behind him; he should do it. Josh will set an example for all of those boys at your school who are still too scared to come out of the closet.
Do it for yourself. If this is what josh want do it, he should. Like they all say: the sky is the limit. I support Josh in all that he do. Remember to update us too.. Take care.
January 19, 2011 at 8:00 pm
How will you cheerleading activists feel if young Josh or his boyfriend is seriously injured in a gaybashing by a drunk-at-prom homophobe who smelled fear and insecurity?
Stop foisting the courage of your own convictions on someone else. If Josh was truly ready to come out to his high school, he would never have needed to ask the internet for permission and support. College is a little safer age to be out to strangers, and if Josh needs to wait until college then that’s fine. No gay high school boy owes “The Movement” anything. And unless Davey Wavey is willing to be Josh’s onsite bodyguard, Davey should neither nudge Josh into coming out nor should Davey provide a forum for others to do that nudging. When the time is right, Josh will know. Supporting a guy’s decision to come out is our obligation as mentors – pushing that decision is dangerous and inappropriate.
January 20, 2011 at 12:08 am
When I was in school, we where told that are dates had to be boys with girls. Was told if we came with the same sex we would be asked to leave, I had to go with my LB friends so then could come with there girlfriend or a list be there with then. I see so much more hope now for the kids to be more then open about who then are and not have to fear then will not be loved or hurt just becomes of the way then love.
January 20, 2011 at 3:02 am
Josh, I believe in my heart you should, however if there is any reason for you to be scared for the very safety of you & your boyfriend then you might want to listen to your gut & talk to others first.. given I am always very protective of my fiance/wife whom i’ve been with for two years.. i always listen to my gut & everytime I have it’s been right.. so just listen & becareful
keep us updated.
January 20, 2011 at 4:03 am
I say go for it! =]
January 20, 2011 at 5:13 am
Hey,
I believe that what I’ve read meant we are all behind you on whatever you end up doing. (Speaking for myself) what you are considering here is beyond believe for me 2 years ago when I had my “prom” (Canadian high schools only have 1 during their entire span high school called the banquet during our senior year). If I had know what I know about myself, if I had the guts to be true to myself, if I have the support from my family and closest friends, and of course if I had a boyfriend, I don’t know if I would have the courage that you have to even consider what you are doing. Looking back, I still enjoyed that once in a lifetime event (It is really for us since we only have 1) though I would very much prefer to be able to share it with someone special. To this day I’m still looking for that first person to appear! You are very lucky and I am very jealous =P.I have always told others that there are no right answers in life, its just a different path you choose to pursue; the most important thing is you always TRY to make a decision that when you look back in say 20, 30 or even 50 years and would say I would not change that decision. Best of luck and wishes. And please do update us. I will be dieing to hear from you! We will always be here!
January 20, 2011 at 9:07 am
well im on the fence-but of course only because of factors.then again a question needs to be asked-where in Missouri is this Prom?where is it going to be held?if its St.Louis or Kansas City area-ok.if its in a rural area or mostly conservative-theyre might be problems.on the other hand-times are changing rapidly.im beleiving whatever decision is made ultimately-it will be a good one.hope this Prom is the event you are hoping for-have fun.Best Wishes.
January 20, 2011 at 9:16 am
Hello everyone so here is my two cents:
I am really hopping you & BF can go that
1)if your the popular guy for the most part,GO
2)if you really have the support of your
family and lots of close friends that are also going then I think you should GO
3)Do you have the support from the school staff and the chaperones that will be there if yes than it is looking better to GO
4)fourth and this a big one what dose your boyfriend think about going and dose he have all the support that you have so he can rely
on them the same as you with your support network?? if he dose then your getting close enough to go.
5)If you really want to push it maybe the ACLU could step in and help chaperone if you know what I mean.
6)Are there any more gay couples that might go if you go or are going regardless?
7) I’m thinking maybe there might be more to the story and that’s why you asked Davey for advice if so you know what it is so you need to think about that or those reasons also.
would be so awesome and special for the 2 of
you and possibly more if the barriers come down for you. That would make me and so many
others PROUD of you and your boyfriend.
We have made lots of advances since my prom
from the class of 1985 witch I was not allowed to attend at all 26 years ago damn I am getting up there 45yo lol.
I am open for any and all questions you may have just ask away. Peace and luck to you and yours. Lots of LOVE to every one,Marty
January 20, 2011 at 4:27 pm
I never took a boyfriend to my high school proms and I regretted it. Since coming to college I’ve been more open about my sexuality and eventually took a boyfriend to my fraternity’s formal. It was definitely a first for everyone involved, but turned out to be a non-issue completely.
Best of luck, Josh!
January 20, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Since he has the support of his family and friends, I think Josh should take his boyfriend to the prom. It is a once in a lifetime event. However, as a courtesy to the school administration, I think he should let them know in advance of his intentions. I feel sure they will appreciate the advance notice. I also have the feeling Josh will be pleasantly surprised at how many of the other students support his decision because he has the courage to do what he wants.
As you probably heard on national news, there was a gay student in a small town south of Atlanta who took his boyfriend to the prom. Although his family threw him out of the house, as far as I know, all went well at the prom.
Hopefully, one of these days people will realize being gay is not a choice and it is nothing to be ashamed of.
If Josh takes his boyfriend, I hope he will let you know how it went and you give us an update.
January 21, 2011 at 12:16 pm
I totally think Josh should go. It’s already out in the open, what is there to lose? He might regret not doing it. (: and, it’ll really be waaay cool, to be true to yourself, and be proud of who you are. (;
Spread the love!!! ♥
January 21, 2011 at 4:19 pm
I worked in a public high school for 5 years, and the obvious answer is YES, take your boyfriend, but we don’t live in his situation or the world
around him. The school I was in was gay friendly and I would see mostly girls holding hands in the halls but a few boys on occasion. There were always several same sex couples at the dances and never any problems with students or staff. So yes take the boyfriend because maybe you will be paving the path for others thinking about doing the same thing.
January 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm
I’m a gay 17 year old whos in his final year of school and at the end i will go to debs (kinda the irish equivalant to prom) and if i had a boyfriend i would just love him to be there, my lesbian friend asked me to hers last year and we all had such a good time, its an event you want those closest to you at, one you can look back and remember the good time, josh if its what you want, go for it =] and if you find that you just cant do it, be assured that you’ll still have a great time going with a friend, i knowi did and i plan on this year =]
best of luck
January 22, 2011 at 1:28 am
I wish when I was in high school I was out and had the opportunity to bring my bf but when I was in High school gay wasn’t as cool as it is these days. I feel if you have the support of your family and school that you should totally do it because it will not only make you stronger but will help show that we as a gay society are just like the straight society. We dance, love, hold hands, and many other things just like a straight couple but on the other hand please be respectful and show pride in being gay and not go crazy and be all rainbow wearing, flag showing lol.. Just be yourself and have fun and have a dance for me
Live life the best way you can and that is out and happy 
January 22, 2011 at 6:17 am
Josh,
Go and be true to yourself. As long as you are who you are and don’t make a show of taking your boyfriend with you, you’ll probably be accepted.
I had my coming out (to the world) at 16 in ’86. I am still thankful for the support I got from almost everyone. The thing I dreaded the most turned out to be the best thing that could happen to me then.
So based on my own experience, go for it!
January 22, 2011 at 2:42 pm
i voted before watching the video. i didnt want my answer to be biased…
January 22, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Last year I was a senior in high school and I wanted to take my boyfriend to prom; he declined because he didn’t feel comfortable with it and I understood, but I still regret not going to prom with a boy. If you have the chance, take it. You’ve only got one shot at high school, live it how you want to and try not to let everyone else’s opinion change your goals and desires. Take him.
January 23, 2011 at 12:14 pm
If he takes his bf to prom then he would be my hero
January 23, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Josh should definitely take his bf to his prom. I come from a small school called Ansonia in OH and my school only had like three gays total (me and my two other friends)and i went with my girl friends instead of bringing a boy to my prom. if i brought a boy to prom with me i prolly would have died because it wasn’t known at our school (i do regret not bringing a boy too). if he has support then he should definitely take his bf.
January 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Hey,
I’m still a freshman in high school and I’m one of the 5 openly gay people in my school. No one boy in Alabama would even think about bringing another boy to prom. The reason for this is because we fear for our lives. Almost no one here supports gays. I think that if it’s safe to bring your boyfrriend to the prom, then you should do it… I know I would at least try.
January 25, 2011 at 4:02 pm
I think that Josh should TOTALLY 100% briing his boyfriend to the prom. It shows that he isn’t scared of what people think and that nothing can come between him and his boyfriend. I never had the balls to take my boyfriend to my prom, I also always went with a girl. And to see someone who would have the balls to do what I didn’t do, would win my respect in every way. I don’t think he should be scared of what anyone thinks, becasue if they deny him to go to prom with his boyfriend, just becasue possible they are a same sex couple, then that is more than grounds for discrimination (spelling?). Pron is designed for couples to enjoy an evening with their significant other and friends, and ther is nothing that states that a couple who is of the same sex cannot go to the prom together. And if Josh feels he may be threatened, then it is the adminstrations job to make sure he and his boyfriend feel safe. Just becase he is even thinking about taking his boyfriend to the prom, shows right there that he cares significantly about his boyfriend and that to me is one of the most important things in the world when it comes to a relationship. Mega-Points to you Josh! You have my love and support in whatever decision you make!
Morgan Wiggins
January 26, 2011 at 1:24 pm
As DW said, seeing a gay couple at your prom is a life changing experience, especially when you are another gay kid who brought a girl with them. This happened to me and it brought hope to my eyes and guess what I did next year when prom came back around? (along with 5 other guys in my school) We took our BF’s to prom and it was amazing. Prom is a time in a teens life to share with the person that they love and I wouldn’t let ANYONE stop you from enjoying it the way you should.
Now yes, you may be ridiculed and made fun of but think of those people that are doing that to you. I can almost guarantee that jealousy would be fueling their fire.
This is your prom and you need to make the most of it. You deserve this moment just as much as anyone else.
I wish you the best!
Anthony
January 30, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Well I may not be a boy but I am an openly gay female. Our GSA was having the same problem in high school. She wanted to bring her girlfriend to prom but wasn’t sure. Our advisors were great and she ended bringing her girlfriend to prom in a horse drawn carriage. They were like the stars of the prom. I believe you have a lot of support behind you and should go for it. What better way to spend prom then with the person you really care for!!! So go for it man!
January 31, 2011 at 2:48 pm
I think you should go, Josh.
You’ve already done so much of the hard stuff (coming out to your friends family and your theatre community), and you now have a well earned support system that will help you through many situations.
What is important, I think, is to have a back up plan. Things at prom may get a little rough, or it may not. You never know. Just in case it does though, it’s always important to either have something planned for after that, and have people that can help you along the way. Notifying the school or some trusted teachers may help the situation go along smoothly, just in case it goes wrong.
But if you have that may people behind you, supporting you, not many will dare to touch you or hurt you. There’s power in numbers. It’s always good to be able to see the people that you trust around you, so keep an eye out.
I wish you the best of luck, and I hope everything goes amazingly!
February 7, 2011 at 6:40 pm
i want to tack my boyfriend to the dance but im scared i will get picked on plz help
February 10, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Dear Everyone that has replied, asked for help (espeically Josh), or has been too afraid to ask:
I understand that this can be a daunting task, but it is imperative that you go for it. If you don’t, you will only regret it. I will agree with Davey and say that safety is a concern that should be taken up with the administration or even guidance.
As a current high school student, I can asure you that most of your fears are not really something to worry about. People will (at most) poke fun and perhaps even pull out their favorite fa**** word (which is really just another term for a bunddle of sticks, not really that insulting). Going for it will be the best thing you have ever done.
I have taken my boyfreind to many a dance, and have never gotten a problem. I even live in a small PA farmer’s town, although admitedly it is a bit liberal for PA. The point is that letting other people manipulate you is not right. You are just giving them what they want. And to be quite honest, they haven’t really put enough energy or thought into it for you to let them win. They don’t deserve it. But you DO deserve to be with the person you love (or maybe like at this point) in public.
Finally, you are a BEAUTIFUL person..no one can ever take that from you. You deserve to be loved just as much as any striaght person….especially a thug who feels he has to lessen someone else to feel special. Also, like Glee shows us, there are many times where bullies are stuggling with their own sexual orientation. So that is also an issue you may want to address. Bullies try to keep you scared, but if can overcome it; you will discover, most often, an insecure person begging for help or guidance.
Your supporter in life, love, and happiness
Zach
February 12, 2011 at 7:16 pm
i went to festus senior high school and i wanted to bring my boy friend to prom but we both said it would be better if we didnt because of a few problems i was already having with some people at school, so i did go with one of my female friends and one of my friends is a lezbian and she brought her girlfriend and she was told no that she couldnt buy tickets as a same sex couple
February 13, 2011 at 10:23 am
I went to a private christian school in Tennessee, so I know all to well what he must be going through, I wound up taking my nonsexual heterosexual lifemate, while I do care for her, it was not the same as being there with my boyfriend. I definitely think you should take your boyfriend. If safety is a concern, I would be glad to come out there to your prom with some friends of mine and make sure there were no incidents. As licensed armed security escorts, we would be proud to help you enjoy your prom. The universe loves you.
February 24, 2011 at 1:19 pm
I think it would be great for you to go. It also depend on where you live and how the school is with LGBT people. I know that on my prom, we had a lesbian couple win “Best Couple” for the 08 Prom night… Everyone loved and respected the fact that they were real and honest and had genuine love for one another.
February 27, 2011 at 1:01 am
You really should, you’ll be so happy you did. Plus, you know, I brought a guy to a dance at my school, and everything went smoohtly. There weren’t even any stares. And this way I know who’s accepting of me and who’s not. For those who aren’t, who cares what they think anyway?
April 4, 2011 at 8:27 am
It takes very little courage to say something, but so much more to do it. If it concerns your personal safety, please don’t do it Josh. If your life or safety isn’t threatened, go ahead! Because Like Davey said, the other gay kids would be so grateful. But besides that, I think you’ll feel some kinda release.
Don’t doubt yourself. Do what you feel! Not everyone can do it, not everyone is brave enough. But if you do, you’ll feel accomplished. That you’ve done so much good for others and yourself.
Personally, for me, I never had the chance to do so. My closest friends were less than supportive of gay culture, and so I never really came out to them. Even till now. Although I know their love for me would likely overpower their bias, I just don’t have the courage to let my guys know. But on a more optimistic note, my friends who know are all really supportive of me. But know I’m gay or not, it would mean the world for all my friends to see me being able to let go of whatever fears and just do what I feel.
Even worse for me, my crush is my best friend. He’s never dated anyone, into music, theatre, and fashion, and also openly pro-gay, just like me. (I know I’m stereotyping and all, but those are signs!) That being said, he’s known to make some slightly homophobia tolerant comments, so it just keeps me guessing if he’s actually gay. So well Josh, I guess things are at least looking a little more optimistic for you on the chapter of love. But I did go to the prom last year with him anyway. Though with whole gang of like 6 other people. But who cares! He was with me on prom night anyways!
I tend to over explain and stuff, I know, but all I’m trying to tell everyone is that even if things may not work out the way you want, it may not go that bad. I’m scared, and I conform a little every now and then. And that’s because I don’t have the courage. But if I did, I might have been and still would be dating the love of my life. So, don’t let fear cripple you. (Unless that statement might be a little more on the literal side.) I would hate for another guy to see opportunities slip away, and regret his decisions. Also things usually work out better than one might expect. For me, at least I have friends who support me more than I do and I did get to go to the prom with the guy I love most. How things would work out for you, it’s all primarily in your hands. Good luck, and all the best.
April 7, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Hello, I do believe that Josh should take his boyfriend to the prom, for I did and I come from the UK.
Even though I wasn’t the only gay person at my school, they all were very surprized I did it for we all said we would bring our boyfriends or girlfriends (female gay friends).
It did take a lot of courage and determination, but it was worth the look on everybody elses face when we both turned up arm in arm.
And I never regret it for one minute and I would do it all again just to see them faces again.
Wishing every luck and you make the right choice for your self because I did
xx
May 12, 2011 at 1:19 pm
NO!
Josh should wake up and flee from sexual immorality, especially from the same-sex degenerates.
And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.
AIDS.
Romans 1.27
May 31, 2011 at 1:05 am
Oh. Puleeez, Greg. Get a life.
May 31, 2011 at 3:11 am
If you ask me Greg I just seriously In need Of a good dicking!
August 18, 2011 at 11:42 pm
So I know that your prom was a long time ago but when I was in highschool I was in ur shoes and so I brought my boyfriend to the prom and the jock of the chool came on the dance floor and looked at me and trevor(my boyfriend) and pushed us off of the dance floor into the court yard and he talked us down and said we r nothings and we should just kill ourselfs and then he went back in side and locked the doors and I also forgot to say he pushed into our schools fountains and so we went it the bathroom and got paper towels to wash out some water and stuff then we went back on the dance floor and danced again and then he walked up to us again and he pushed again so I’m like f**k you ass hole and I punched him in the face and he fell to the ground and then he just walked away and we were never bothered again.
Bye
Hope you had a good time Josh!