I get a lot of e-mails from people that are trying to get a boyfriend.
Creating a loving relationship with another person is quite different from the art of seduction, and can be practiced utilizing the following unconventional advice:
I get a lot of e-mails from people that are trying to get a boyfriend.
Creating a loving relationship with another person is quite different from the art of seduction, and can be practiced utilizing the following unconventional advice:
June 27, 2009 at 11:38 am
Will you be doing more talky blogs with Scotty Dynamo’s music in the background??
June 27, 2009 at 11:38 am
u r so right. u should always look on the inside first then look for outside love. no one can love u like u.
June 27, 2009 at 1:33 pm
haha great summary!!
June 27, 2009 at 11:45 am
I’ve been in a relationship for two and a half years. We met at a drama festival in the 11th grade (we just recently completed our first year of university). The play I was in was written by two of my closest friends and, despite my busy schedule, I decided to partake because they needed male actors. In the end, a selfish act got me my boyfriend whom I am very much in love with. A little bit of good karma, I suppose!
June 27, 2009 at 11:49 am
Great blog! I wish I had a video camera to do vlogs. Its so much better and I would have some great video responses for you…though mine would be goofy..but, I digress..the point here is GREAT VLOG. Keep up the fabulous work
June 27, 2009 at 11:49 am
So true. Most relationships happen when you aren’t even expecting anything. I like to think if you are not looking for a relationship it usually finds you. When you are looking for a relationship you will never find what you are looking for. Just give it time and be patient! I was single for 3 years before I found my current partner. It was a wonderful 3 years, and it’s even more wonderful now that I can share my life with someone special!
Good Luck!
June 27, 2009 at 11:50 am
I have to admit I’m single…and at first I was like many in pursuit of a bf…why?! (let’s not ask…lol)
A friend sat with me over lunch one day and we talked about this issue in particular and gave me the same advise that you share in your video.
I can admit it was a lot easier to listen to than to follow through with. Yet, the days became week, weeks became months and now these months have become years. Its now through the years that I have improved on my own relationship with myself, that I have grown, learned and really defined myself as an individual, who understands what I want and know where I am going in life.
I don’t believe I could have accomplished this with a “bf” in my life, however its because I took the time to improve on the relationship with myself by myself, that I was able to find all the things I thought I need to find in/with a “bf”.
And its true when you say that you begin to resonate a type of confidence that people like and often comment on.
So its because I have taken the time to improve on my relationship with me I don’t ever worry about being alone.
Love catching up on your blogs on weekends and look forward to all your talky blogs.
June 27, 2009 at 11:51 am
I am going to die alone. I only want a HOT MODEL boyfriend or else I am going to be single forever.
June 28, 2009 at 8:00 am
LV-Spot On-seems at this time of year-the HOT MODEL-bf-is en vogue.those are the ONLY GUYS-who get the LOOK.doesnt seem to matter-whats on the inside.overweight men-even slightly-dont even get a second look.always has been-probably always will.Men are very shallow-that goes for str8s-as well as gays.that are culture.
June 27, 2009 at 11:53 am
What a great feeling you incorporate in me? When I feel low, I just watch davey wavey, it’s so meaningful and becoming part of my life.
I LOVE YOU. I mean it.
June 27, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Davey? You’re like 24 right? How did you get so f*****g wise? Are you an old soul?
David
June 27, 2009 at 12:25 pm
completely agreed!
June 27, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I’m a little surprised that you would rein in your natural exuberance and apologise for being excited. Your excitement is contageous and be being who you’re being you give other people courage and ‘permission’ to release their own natural exuberance. I’m sure there is no deficit of exuberance in Toronto this weekend. Enjoy!!
June 27, 2009 at 1:32 pm
so true
June 27, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Ya know. . . I’m a 42 year old former Assembly of God minister – now came out – with one daughter – guy. Where in the world do you get this stuff?? Absolutely amazing. Almost always “spot on” in my book. Whoever you are. . . I’m grateful for your wisdom. YOU ARE A BLESSING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Robb
June 29, 2009 at 6:56 am
um… your not serious are you???
Google – Metaphysical, Science Of Mind, Wayne Dyer, (just to name 3)
its all there , and YES its amazing and so resonates with me as well…
so enjoy the discovery & unfoldment
and BTW Davey Wavey is a blessing thats true – but then again we really all are!
PEACE
June 27, 2009 at 2:27 pm
why does it always have to be so hard ?
June 28, 2009 at 10:25 am
It doesn’t.
June 30, 2009 at 8:15 am
*blush* thats what all the boys say to me too .. what are you always so hard hehe
June 27, 2009 at 2:28 pm
True That!
June 27, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Aargh:
I’m sorry, but this is such an INCREDIBLE over-simplification of the difficulties many people feel in real life. Davey is physically beautiful, and affluent, and while these things don’t guarantee that one will be able to find a relationship (let alone true love): they are important RESOURCES that improve his odds in getting at least a foot in the door.
It IS true that someone who isn’t secure in himself, who in fact PROJECTS insecurity, or self-doubt, or diffidence about enjoyment of life (or other people) will be at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to the “game of love”.
Because that’s what the initial stages of attraction and love ARE (though there are many significant exceptions, and many examples of people who translate a very bad ‘hand’ into something truly beautiful. . . and, in fairness to Davey, no doubt that’s what he’s trying to get at here). Some measure of beauty, charm, and wealth are necessary to attract another person – so that that person is (at least in the initial stages) intrigued enough to go along. . .
What if one is (as I and some of my friends are) – old, poor, and devastatingly unattractive? LOL!!! Well. . . love is still POSSIBLE, at least theoretically, for such as us – but it just isn’t going to be QUITE as simple to find, as Davey suggests.
If you are in late middle age, look like Orson Welles, and lack the money to entertain. . . you can have the brightest, most charming demeanour, and the kindest heart, and your prospects are still going to be severely limited. It’s a fact. You can take all the hot baths you want, go to the movies by yourself (and truly enjoy them!), exercise and do T’ai chi, reflect on the meditations of the Buddha, play the piano brilliantly, love your fellow man and live in the moment. . . and it’s still NOT going to get you a boyfriend!!!
Because all these things are solitary activities and disciplines. They WILL help you reconcile yourself to one’s present situation, but they (by definition) will not help you get a BOYFRIEND. (Unless your bathtub is on a street corner. . . LOL!!!)
Finding a boyfriend requires social interaction, and entails risk. It is a tough game, and that’s why people agonize about it so much. I AGREE with Davey that going to a bar (aka a ‘meat-packing plant’) is not perhaps the best strategy for the shy and disaffected: because the judgements there are quick, peremptory, and mostly completely ocular.
A lot of people who are less ‘gifted’ than Davey seem to have better luck meeting people in a service or volunteer organization – or someplace where your personality has a chance to be seen and appreciated over a longer period of time.
And, contra Davey, the Internet is NOT such a bad place to meet people, if you are looking for that special someone. I have a number of friends who have found stable romantic attachments that way – and even I have found a mumber of wonderful friends on the ‘Net. The Internet has its perils, and its mendacious sexual fortune-hunters. . . but it also has quite a number of people who are out there sharing what they actually LIKE, which enables a kind of informed selection of contacts, which is
helpful.
Because, let’s face it. The hard truth about romantic relationships is that the first step is almost INVARIABLY physical attraction, and mutual sexual interest (in activities, etc.) I have yet to meet anyone who snared a boyfriend because he had a superlative knowledge of the Bhagavad Gita, and could recite it from memory in Sanskrit! Or because he had a sunny, Pollyanna-ish view of the world. Or because he meditates every day, and loves his pet cat ‘Mittens’. Those things may prove to be “pluses” (even BIG pluses) in a long-term relationship: but they aren’t generally what get you in the door! (If there is someone who DID find that he caught his b/f by reciting the Gita, I’d LOVE to hear it, though!!!)
Davey’s constant assertions that we are, as individuals, self-contained and self-complete. . . and that self-realization will make our personal flame burn brightly enough that men from far and wide will come fluttering toward it, like moths. . . are (in my humble opinion) patently false.
As philosophers since Plato have been observing, for many centuries now, we humans are fundamentally INCOMPLETE. In the cosmic scheme of things, we are small, naked, and alone – and we crave company, companionship, and comfort (including sexual comfort) from others.
Though perhaps this situation is unfortunate, it’s not just some illusion, or delusion, which can be WISHED away, as Davey so often seems to suggest. Some of the more radical spiritual teachers in history have thought perhaps these cravings for human contact can be WILLED away – and have prescribed disciplines for doing so.
(I think it’s interesting that Davey never takes his prescriptions to their logical conclusion – or their intellectual source, as you prefer – to suggest that celibacy is the preferred option! That’s what Buddhism and some branches or stages of Hinduism suggest. . . and Davey’s failure to advert to the summit of teaching and experience in the Eastern religions, always makes me feel that he is preaching a sort of ‘Buddhism- LITE’.)
I will say that, while I find the teachings of Buddhism and Hinduism helpful and enlightening, I don’t feel that too many of us are naturally inclined to their ‘higher teachings’ about celibacy – and for most of us, the need for companionship and comfort is a constant in our lives. And that we shouldn’t be ASHAMED of that. It’s just part of being human!!!
My biggest beef with Davey, always, is that his ethics are sort of a grand example of the ‘fallacy of false generalization’. He seems to be teaching that, if you are secure within yourself, and feel complete – some nice guy will come along to join you for your enraptured tour of the universe. And you can play with him, and with others just as you choose, and everything and everyone will be fine, happy, and glowing with the joy of experiencing the interplay of all the happy atoms, buzzing around!!!
Well, I don’t think so. I think Davey is a sweet guy who’s been very blessed in the ‘looks department’, and with education and opportunity – and who is more interested in tasting life in all its variety, than in loving or committing to anyone. (So far, at least, and I apologize if I offend.) And it seems to me that he thinks this is a pattern of life that is: 1.) Accessible to everyone; and, 2.) DESIRABLE for everyone.
I don’t think so. I think a lot of Davey’s advice about love and romance is unrealistically optimistic, and, in its worst incarnations, amounts to “blaming the victims” who haven’t been able to find love. I don’t agree that his way of life is accessible OR desirable, for at least 75 per cent of the gay population. . . or the straight population, for that matter!
Life ISN’T easy. It’s hard, and it can be tragic. There are no shortcuts. Finding love is one of the MOST DIFFICULT parts of life – - and, for most of us, giving up on the search to tend bonsai trees and bask in self-bliss isn’t an option.
Really, the best we can do for each other is to be KIND and COMPASSIONATE as we walk down this difficult and painful road.
The Buddha said that life is suffering. I tend to believe him. And it’s frustrating to see people suggesting that there’s an easy way out. There isn’t. Some of us will fail, and all of us will hurt.
Just, let’s be good to one another. That’s all.
Love,
“Verdi” XOXOXOXO
June 29, 2009 at 7:08 pm
This is a fine rebuttal to a flawed, “feel-good”, narcissistic attitude towards relationships. Moreover, Davey’s “teaching” is not only false, but potentially damaging to those who take him seriously. Careful thought and practice needs to go into these presentations or else they amount to nothing more than hedonistic bullshit.
August 9, 2009 at 7:21 pm
ok although that is a utterly brilliant blog, please – i would have gone to the library if i wanted to read a chapter on relationships. LOL.
No offence man.
Love and Peace,
Jack
June 27, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Your wise beyond your years David
June 27, 2009 at 3:37 pm
In your dissertation you write:
I think a lot of Davey’s advice about love and romance is unrealistically optimistic, and, in its worst incarnations, amounts to “blaming the victims” who haven’t been able to find love.
I proffer that his optimism is completely realistic although somewhat unusual for the normally negative world in which we live. Goethe once wrote “Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.” Davey and a few optimistic others out here tend to live this philosophy. The world is a big ship to turn around but I’d rather be one who contributes to turning it than just accepting the course that it’s on and not thinking tit could be any other way.
I also disagree with the idea that he is blaming the victims. Nobody is a victim except that their attitudes and opinions make it so. It doesn’t seem to me that Davey is indicting anyone but merely giving them another way to see the situation. And he’s not touting it as truth. It’s only his opinion.
I suggest that if you’ve been doing what you’re doing for so many years and not getting the results you’ve desired, to keep doing it is insane. Why not try – or at least aspire to – something new?
June 27, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Agreed!
June 27, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Hey, Dave,
Good for you! You subscribe to Davey’s philosophy, you think it’s realistic, and apparently it works for you. I’m happy for you- and for anyone else who finds love and companionship: by whatever means!
I’ve never been a fan of Goethe (or “Enlightenment” optimism, in all its variants). Sure, I think it’s possible, and desirable, to treat people as they ought to be treated, and help them realize their potential, that way. I just don’t believe that all the altruism, goodwill, and kindness known to personkind – truly ACTUALIZED and EFFECTED in one person’s human life – necessarily suffice to win sexual love, or companionship.Indeed, I think they are qualities which, though strongly correlated with success in a relationship, have very little to do with obtaining one.
I think (though obviously others will not agree) that finding a relationship is a difficult and unpredictable thing. SALVATION (or enlightenment, or nirvana), by contrast, is relatively easy to achieve – by the standards of ALL the world’s major religions!!! One offers oneself in humility, kindness, and trust – doing good to all those one might encounter – and believing that there is something greater that shapes our ends (to misquote the Bard.) Though true realization of this goal is tremendously arduous (if undertaken sincerely), the pathway is at least clear.
With romantic and love relationships, I submit that it is NOT so. At least, for those of us who are ‘less attractive.’ (Incidentally, I have always thought that a – by conventional standards – ‘less attractive’ gay man, has MUCH MORE IN COMMON with a ‘less attractive’ STRAIGHT MAN, or (even more) ‘less attractive’ STRAIGHT WOMAN. . . than he does with ANY gay person who is considered attractive, and whose attractiveness confers at least a small choice of potential partners. (They may not be good ones, but that’s another post.)
The initiation of a relationship depends upon phenomena that proceed (frequently) at almost lightning speed – physical attraction, social liking, and the intimation of a certain social trust. Numbers ‘two’, and ‘three’, ARE, indeed, conditions to which ANYONE can aspire – but number one is a great barrier for many of us. And, as one PROCEEDS in a relationship, there are many factors which are purely contingent (in real terms) which can be “make-or-break” in a relationship: social status, education, vocabulary and manner of expression, ambition, taste, and many other things. It’s absolutely possible that someone who was entirely attractive on the face of things ( not suggesting WHICH things – LOL!!!): proves impossible for social, familial, cultural, or other reasons. . . .
Dave, I guess the biggest difference between you and me is that (apart from the fact that you admire Goethe, and I prefer Schopenhauer ) I DON’T BELIEVE THE WORLD IS ONE GREAT SHIP WAITING TO BE TURNED AROUND. I think the world is a lot of individuals, paddling madly away in TINY LITTLE BOATS, trying to keep from BEING SWAMPED.
And I feel that everyone’s situation is quite different. I believe that Davey’s advice may well work for quite a number of people whose life experiences and situations are in reasonable proximity to his – but not so well, for others.
I know that this is Davey’s board, and populated (mostly) by his fans. I am not writing to those who think Davey HAS the answers – so much as to those who read his pleasant bromides and ask themselves: “If it’s so easy, and I’ve TRIED all these things. . . what the F*** is WRONG with ME???” I DON’T want those people to despair, because, in the past (and to some degree now) I have been ONE OF THEM. And I KNOW that it is just not as easy as Davey makes it sound.
((
And, Dave – if you suggest that, if I’ve been carrying on doing what I’ve been doing, for so many years, and it’s just insane: well, thanks for the helpful advice. I was rejected by my first boyfriend, after ten years – because I “just wasn’t good-looking enough for him”: despite a diet regime, running, free-weights, and Nautilus, that had me looking not far off from DAVEY, himself. Over the years since, I’ve heard the refrain over and over again: “You are the NICEST guy I ever met, but. . . I’m just not attracted to you!” (Interestingly, I’ve heard just the OPPOSITE from WOMEN – and have had many opportunities to enter into STRAIGHT marriage: but, why would I do THAT? I’m GAY!!! LOL!!!)
BTW, right now I have an autoimmune disease called sarcoidosis, which has covered all of my upper body in large purple tumors – - – it was misdiagnosed as Kaposi’s sarcoma by three leading dermatologists before the correct diagnosis was actually made. . . my disease won’t hurt ANYONE else, but it makes me superlatively unattractive, and why would ANYONE ever want to sleep with me, when one of the best dermatologists in this country looked at me and said. “Oh, you have AIDS.”
Anyway, Dave – you and Davey seem to have all the answers. Just have a positive attitude, be centred and focussed, love the universe, and eat healthy foods (oops, except Davey likes perogies better – and NP THERE! LOL!!!) and the right person will COME YOUR WAY.
In my humble opinion, this is BULLSHIT – and TOXIC BULLSHIT. The advice that Davey gives may work perfectly for some young gay men: and for them, his optimism might be warranted. But for many others, this is going to be terribly discouraging advice, and may even make them terribly disconsolate: “If Davey SAYS it’s true, why isn’t it working for ME?”
My only message is: Davey is a nice guy, who means well. But his advice is from his perspective and truly DOESN’T WORK for a LOT of PEOPLE who don’t share his advantages. So, if you follow his advice and it fails for you – don’t give up: life is harder than some people (including Davey) say it is: please hang in there.
It is a lot TOUGHER, figuring life out, than saying to yourself, “I’m going to have good thoughts.” The GOOD THING about Davey is (and I want to be fair to him!) is that he reminds us to be good to ourselves, and others. And that’s a superb message, and Davey should be thanked for putting it out there.
BUT – life’s problems are not as easily solved as Davey sometimes seems to suggest they are. You WON’T get a boyfriend by ‘loving yourself’; you WON’T come to love and appreciate disease and death, because it’s ‘part of the cycle of life’; you WON’T become totally happy because you understand how life WORKS – all of these things are HARD. LIFE IS REALLY HARD!!! And the only thing that gets us through it is lots of compassion and love for each other.
So, take care, one and all. Sometimes this place seems ( to me, at least) to be ‘cloud-cuckoo land’ – but there are SANE people out there, who do feel your pain: and who have no ‘advice’ that would just take the pain away – but who would feel it with you, and hold onto you through it.
“Verdi” XOXOXOXOXOXO
June 28, 2009 at 1:25 am
Verdi I appreciate your response. You think things through thoroughly and you are thoughtful. We see things differently; our lenses on the world are quite different and I can appreciate that you will not see things as I do and I will not see them as you do. Perhaps I am fortunate for the events that have brought me to where I am. I’ve had more than my fair share of tragedy and yet I know I can overcome anything and remain positive and poewrful through it all. I know that I will find someone who is perfect for me even though I don’t find myself gorgeous. I count myself fortunate. That’s what I take from our interaction and I am grateful to have this dialogue. Thanks.
June 28, 2009 at 7:20 am
Verdi, shorten up your posts if you want anyone to read them.
June 29, 2009 at 9:01 pm
On the contrary….he has points of view that cannot be captured by a phrase or a slogan. Read him out, he really has something to say.
September 29, 2009 at 11:49 pm
I have to agree with Verdi. I have been told by friends that I am dead on regarding my self-image. I feel quite in tune with myself. I love myself and I love others, yet when it comes to dating I not had a real relationship since coming out at age 18 (6 years now). The closest was a 2-month ordeal which I should have ended after the first date, but because of the lonely years of only being loved by myself I craved the external validation. I still do. I’ve tried to go the voluntary celibacy route (it’s now become involuntary), but I’ve found that that undermines my entire self-confidence. It’s one thing to say that we should all be happy with ourselves, but another thing to be forced to be “happy” alone. I want to experience a real love with someone before I get too old to be a viable partner. I am aware enough to understand that I do have a “best before” date. It’s an ugly truth, but I will not age well, and will soon be perpetualy alone.
I don’t mean to be so pessimistic, but I do mean to point out the danger of saying “love yourself and love will come to you.” It does blame the victim. I don’t blame Davey for trying to be helpful. His advice did bring a brief smile to my face. It took me a minute to realize that I’m already burning myself out trying to fill every one of my emotional needs. I can’t do any more. If I can’t find a man at 23, even for a cheap fling, what hope do I have when I’m sagging, bald, and wrinkly?
I simply mean to provide some food for thought. I think the notion of “love yourself, and you will be loved”, needs to be tweaked and re-thought. Thanks for letting me rant. I hope no one’s been offended, and if you have been feel free to say so.
June 27, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Wow…lots of long comments on this one. Just remember that life is about progress, whether you make it for yourself or with another person, take the steps you need to make yourself progress beyond where you are now and you will grow into the person you want to become. “Be the change…”
Ciao!
June 27, 2009 at 8:40 pm
So true! After my first relationship ended, a friend of mine bought me a book about finding the boyfriend within yourself. It was meant as a joke, but the exercises in the book proved to be so meaningful, that I passed it on to all of my friends. It is really important to cultivate a deep, meaningful relationship with yourself before thinking about developing a connection with a significant other. As the saying goes: what you’ve been looking for has been there all along. I’ve even named my “boyfriend within” and my friends still laugh when say I have a date with him…
Keep up the good work Davey; you are truly inspirational.
June 28, 2009 at 12:55 am
I was at Pride today and saw a fat hairy man holding hands with an attractive young man. I wondered what their situation was all about but who am i to judge..really.
I was people watching since I dont feel like cruzing the bars it is nice to see young attractive couples enjoying themselves. I myself am single and am in my late 20s, not bad looking, but lack the confidence to put myself out in the world in order to find a boyfriend. Casual sex is another post does that fulfill being cuddled and loved…lol
Running game on a stranger…are drugs and booze needed in the game of love for some people. Verdi made some excellent points about attraction and how important it is…this is nature not religion at work here…i respect that realism!
Good messages from Davey and the posters…rmbr we are part of nature, just like seabirds some get a mate others dont and attraction plays a 95 % role. this is science my people…lol
Ez,
And One Love People happy Pride O9
June 28, 2009 at 5:06 am
I am a Spanish boy of 22 years. My name is Gabi Garcia. You’ve liked me a lot and I think I would like you. I’m tall, brown hair, body defined in the gym, sexy, … If you want add me to mad_madriz@hotmail.com. kisses
June 28, 2009 at 9:48 am
Now Davey’s are running a dating service
June 28, 2009 at 5:35 am
Screw getting a boyfriend, hell I want you.
June 28, 2009 at 7:48 am
Not wanting something is the healthiest way for it to enter your life – though you can always send a positive vibe into the universe. Happy Pride – Toronto should be HOT! Wish my boyfriend and I could be there today.
June 28, 2009 at 7:57 am
I NEED HELP !!!
some sick gay hater is spamming everywhere that i’m gay
but i dont want people to know just yet !
please help me out
it’s soem weird video of hwdegen and saying that i’m gay :S
June 28, 2009 at 8:33 am
Davey Wavey..Good Morning!..MOST GAY GUYS HAVE A “BEST” FRIEND IN THEIR LIFE AND DON’T EVEN KNOW IT BECAUSE IT COMES IN THE SHAPE OF A DOG OR CAT…
…DAYS AND NIGHTS CAN BE MIGHTY LONELY FOR THE GUY WHO LIVES ALONE..AND THEN YOU COME HOME FROM A HARD DAY AT WORK/PLAY AND WHO IS THERE TO “MAKE YOUR DAY”?…THAT FAITHFUL “BUDDY” HOPPING UP TO SAY..IN THEIR OWN WAY..”GLAD TO SEE YOU BOOT!”…VERY LITTLE THOUGHT IS GIVEN TO WHY THEY ARE SOO LIKEABLE..SO LOVEABLE..SO MUCH A BIG PART OF YOUR LIFE….SO UNTIL THAT “SPECIAL” GUY CUMS ALONG IN YOUR LIFE..ENJOY YOURSELF AND YOUR FAITHFUL DOG/CAT! Love “your” David
June 28, 2009 at 1:34 pm
I agree you must love yourself first and not appear desperate but it is still frustrating. Many gay men are in clicks and it is hard to penetrate them. I am not a hot, young piece of new meat so why should they inclue me? I feel this is the attitude of many gay men. I do lots of volunteering and am in several gay business and church groups but it hasnt’ got me anywhere beyond acquaintances with guy men. I realize everything starts with friendship but many gay men I meet on the internet just want sex on the first night and then ignore you when you recontact them. I am a nice looking, fit athletic type ,clean/safe passionate and romantic guy who lives in Columbus, Ohio. Anybody close who wants to text me? seanmagic1964@yahoo.com
June 28, 2009 at 3:12 pm
On the internets? lol
June 28, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Boyfriend. Yeah. Got to get one of those Masturbation can get quite overrated when all you do is straight men As if they’re “safe.”
June 30, 2009 at 12:27 am
Well, you need more than loving yourself to get a boyfriend.
I know people that completely hate themselves, and somehow get boyfriends, confusing but w.e.
You also need to know how to strut your s**t like you don’t care WHO is watching.
Answering the questions:
Why?: Well i don’t really ‘want’ a boyfriend that much. I wouldn’t mind having one, of course. But i can deal without one.
Incomplete?: Well, i think everyone has those moments when they feel ‘complete’ although some would just call it feeling lonely. Human nature is to want companionship – whether it be in the form of a friend, or a mate. I personally feel incomplete because i am uncomfortable in my own skin, i feel like parts of me are missing.
Seeking: Companionship. For the obvious reasons, like having someone in my life that i can fully trust [well almost fully] and be intimate with.
June 30, 2009 at 7:54 am
you are right on with this video
http://queersunited.blogspot.com
June 30, 2009 at 7:26 pm
one morning i watched this video for the first time, that night i met my current boyfriend
July 5, 2009 at 2:45 pm
u have to love urself before u can love someone else… took me many many yrs to figure that out……… Know i have a wonderful man in my life.
July 13, 2009 at 5:41 am
Могу рекомендовать Вам посетить сайт, с огромным количеством статей по интересующей Вас теме.
July 25, 2009 at 9:56 am
Umm…so basically, finally got to the bottom of all those comments…for something so beautiful and positive, I don’t understand some of the negative comments.
‘Love thy self’ is such a great message…rarely comes with a ‘how to’ or a ‘step by step’ guide.
He’s such a great role model.
August 1, 2009 at 7:58 pm
thanks this was helpful
August 2, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Im in the process of getting a boyfriend now
i hope everythign works out!
August 3, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I’ve loved myself this past four years and been alone this past four years- can I get a boyfriend now?
I’m not ugly or boring, I’m young, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but I can’t seem to get one. I only started actively trying a couple months ago, though I have been open to the idea for about three years.
Can you give us more advice on the subject?
August 3, 2009 at 3:43 pm
To Naomi, (Aug 2nd 11:14 pm)
I’m sure you are a really nice person. Perhaps you are trying too hard? Nothing is as unsexy as desperation or despair and perhaps that is how you are perseived. You need to give an appearance of self reliance, assurance and confidence (the attitude that you are fine just the way you are). That reverse attitude, one that you really don’t care, will eventually find you the right one. I would be happy to share more with you, we have many things in common. seanmagic1964@yahoo.com
August 6, 2009 at 7:27 pm
This is interesting but also oversimplified, and actually kind of harmful.
I think that most people that are desperate and insecure have been through some sort of abandonment in their lives(most likely in childhood or another vulnerable stage) and this fuels the desperation and insecurity. Now most people would not choose to be abandoned, that fact that someone else is choosing to leave us and that it is out of our control leaves a big injury emotionally, physically(the body treats this as a real physical threat) and psychologically.
The problem I have with this, is that you make no mention of how or why people feel desperate or insecure. You only critize what they’re going through and their actions as a turn off and that there’s “nothing more unnattractive”. I find this lacks compassion and isn’t all that helpful. I think some people may feel even more insecurity after hearing this, especially from you. Now it is true that is their responsibility to work on these issues and take control of their lives. Maybe mention why people feel this way? And that it is okay, we’re all human, this is normal, natural and could happen to anybody. Also to not shame themselves or berate themselves for feeling this way. It is a good and healthy idea to explore what fuels this than work through it.
August 11, 2009 at 5:35 am
I’m shy and cannot speak when i see handsome ppl like my friends.
We got a swimming progamme si get to see alot of naked friends that are cool but i get shy when i’m near them…all i can do is to see them at a corner
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