So there are three parts to this talky blog.
- Learning how to become aware of the fact that our reactions are choices; we decide if we will react with acceptance and love, or resistance.
- I’d like to create a column where people can post their life’s situations, and we can help them discover a different perspective. If you have a situation that you’d like us to talk about, post it in the comments here.
- Shout out to Colin who is in Brazil. Hey Colin.
I guess I ruined all the surprises. If you still would like to watch the talky blog, click below 
October 25, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Wow, what an example for the “choice”!! That happened to me.
I had a business trip and since the company was being cheap, I ended up driving. I just picked up my new Prius (yeah, a gay man with a Prius, go figure?!) and decided to drive it to Atlanta instead of a rental. So anyway, the third day that I was there, I came out of my motel room and this guy in the parking lot is looking at my car and taking pictures. My first thought was “get a life; it’s just a car”.
Then he started to explain how he backed into my car because he couldn’t see where he was going. I really wanted to ask him why the heck he was backing up if he couldn’t see but he seemed genuinely upset about it. I was distraught, verging on angry and for about 20 seconds completely silent. Then I decided that it wasn’t that big of a deal. (That was my mantra all day long.)
I knew that being mad wasn’t going to remove the dent but it was quite an effort.
October 25, 2007 at 10:41 pm
This is a stark contrast to the person in this video making rather alarming, disrespectful comments about other gay men at a nude beach :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpKqozhYoss
October 25, 2007 at 11:49 pm
I subscribe to your RSS feed. It looks like you changed the way it appears so that it only shows the first two lines, can you change it back?
-a fan
October 26, 2007 at 12:04 am
Funny that you talk about the fact that our reactions are choices that can not only affect ourselves but also the people that surround us. I had a similar conversation with the kids that I teach to yesterday.
There was a conflict between two kids, about a silly little thing, that, in the end, affected the whole group. I think some of them really got it. What a wonderful thing to comprehend such a life changing concept so early in your life. It would have saved me a lot of trouble in the past.
By the way, you sound a lot better today. How’s your throat?
October 26, 2007 at 12:37 am
I see shirts being made…
Front: “Hello Blog Buddies!”
Back: “Davey’s Blog Buddies”
hmmm.
-Jaime
http://www.jaimeraysoto.blogspot.com
October 26, 2007 at 12:52 am
That makes for a profound decision opportunity. Thanks for the insight..
Ian
October 26, 2007 at 12:53 am
wanna meet you!!! too bad you are not in Toronto
October 26, 2007 at 3:57 am
very powerful yet simple reflection…so great Dave…yea–better day already.thanks!!!
October 26, 2007 at 5:14 am
Did u dent someones car?? LOL joks but I understant wat ur sayin Dav but like to some people there car is such a big thing to other well yer its a car. Say if someone did hit my car I would b extremely mad at first cause i just got my FIRSt car YAY so like its my baby haha but after a while once id calm down an c that yer its got a dent w/e i cant change that so get over it. Also Im fully backing the idea of this “advice column” to help those see things from a dif side. questions if u ave time to answer, wat music r u into?
Tim,18 Syndey Aussie
October 26, 2007 at 8:52 am
It’s odd, but in my “relationship,” such as it is, with my mother, I have become more of the parent than she. I tell her that we are where we are in life because of the sum total of all of the decisions we have made since birth. I was trying to convey to her that each person is in ultimate control of their lives and when the s**t comes down (or when good things happen, for that matter), we have no one to blame or thank except for ourselves.
Sure, we can benefit from the beneficence or magnamimity of others (or just the inverse) from time to time, but with the exception of totally random events, it is the decisions that we have made that put us in the position where such “good stuff” (or bad) could happen.
The point is, I think that people should understand that they — the individual — are ultimately in control of their lives. We need to transcend this mentality of “victimhood” — that society is out to get me/us…that we’re under the thumb of The Man. I don’t expect a living from anyone; I just wish that more people could come to such an understanding.
October 26, 2007 at 8:56 am
Alright, not sure why I left that last entry, but it seemed appropriate three minutes ago when I started it. At any rate, here’s the advice that I need.
I, actually, am not gay. I couldn’t give a s**t about all of that — I just find your blogs interesting. My issue is that I am dating this girl right now and could use some relationship advice.
I like this girl and I enjoy spending time with her but I am still, well, can’t get completely relaxed around her. It’s almost like I have my game face on around her all the time. I really need to get to a point where we can be in the same room together doing our own separate things, not even talking, necessarily, and not feel the “need” to entertain or interact with one another.
What sort of advice do you have for me? And don’t give me the “be yourself” line either…let me tell you how many times I’ve heard that before.
October 26, 2007 at 11:36 am
I’ve never dated anyone before..male or female. I’m 37! I think I have a great personlaity, friendly, decent looking. Just never crossed that bridge with anyone before. I definitely have sex…but just have always been the odd man out in life and in situations like that. I wasn’t always outgoing, I used to be VERY introverted and shy and hermit like. I still am to a certain extent. But I get out every blue moon. How do I make that leap to fill that void in my life? Because I’ve never dated anyone before, I don’t know how to approach somebody like that! Or know if they’re flirting with me. And on top of that, I’m gay, so it’s tough meeting guys in general. Any insight you may have, would be great.
October 26, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Ok, i need to tell my mom that i am bisexual how should i tell her?
October 26, 2007 at 5:59 pm
I am friends with a lot of guys, all since I have known for about 10 years. (I’m 23) One of them recently has shown feelings towards that are out of the usual, like when we’re sitting on the couch for example he makes all of these ownership gestures. Now, I really don’t feel the same way as he does, he is just a good friend. I love this guy but purely as a friend. He is very sensitive. I need a way to tell him that I am not interested without hurting him. Think you can help?
October 26, 2007 at 7:50 pm
I love your thinking.
From the youtube video I saw before arriving on your site, I would not have guessed I would be as impressed (hey, that rhymed) with your depth of knowledge at a young age.
That doesn’t sound very friendly for a first meeting, but it’s true.
On your first video, I was like “uh oh, he’s naked…and…hmm… I wish I worked out”.
I actually stumbled into your website. Was researching youtube users whom have blogs. You’re doing a nice job!
If you walk your talk, I would say you are traveling the road of enlightenment.
After watching your video, I am convinced you would have been a great minister or evangelist.
It’s obvious to me you are indeed a true Seeker and a deep thinker.
I would add to your post, it’s important for someone who has no experience attracting (reacting in the moment) positive experiences into their lives, THIS IS A DISCIPLINE.
To witness the results, the discipline is sorta like like playing the guitar. The more you practice, the better you play. No, it’s exactly like that!
I believe what we think about “the most” is what we see showing up in our lives. Our “most conscious thoughts” are the ones which shapes us “the most”.
Obviously, the more juice you put into a certain thought, desire, whatever…the more opportunities you will take action upon and become closer to the desired result.
Think about this, experts say the average person has 60,000 thoughts per day. They also say 97% of your thoughts are the same ones you had yesterday.
That gives us 3% new thought per day.
Forget the 97% and focus on the 3% Gold
The question is where are you spending your 3%?
Be careful, because these are the “most conscious” thoughts you’ll have all day. Conscious thought are believed to be the strongest in ability to attract.
Just know, every thought carries weight. When the neurons in your brain fire off, that energy goes out into wherever IT’s at :0 )
IT responds according to the intention of the thought.
Religion has NOTHING to do with this process. IT does not react to religion. IT responds according to the “intention” of the thought.
I am what I think about the most, and so are you!
kkkmmmm
Yes, I’m a freak. However, I feel blessed to have been given some interesting information only a Seeker could find… My bragging tells me I need to practice more.
Chris, may I ask you the same question I am asked, after explaining my belief and the mechanics of God…. “what led you to your understanding at such a young age?”
russ
October 26, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Dave,
I have spent all my adult life raising my kids. Although I have had “friends” I chose not to enter into a long term relationship as to not deprive my children of a full time parent. (My ex wife remarried and devoted most of her time to the new husband)
Well, now I am in my ….. (well let’s just say older) and I am alone. I am not complaining, As I quite like to be alone most of the time. I still have “friends” but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a special someone to come home to every night. My fear is that I have painted myself into a corner and would not be able to allow someone to share my life this late in the game.
I see benefits to taking either path…What do you think?
October 27, 2007 at 2:09 am
Hey Dave, Seeker of the Truth asked you “what led you to your understanding at such a young age?”. I essentially asked you the same question. Can you answer it. We’d love to know!
October 27, 2007 at 10:24 am
Hey Davey! I hope that this is a good subject to start your “Different Perspective” column with. Here goes..
I’m at this point in my life where I’ve just come out (about a year and a half ago), and I see all my friends (my straight friends in particular) finding people and relationships. It just seems like it’s harder for gay people to find someone, or maybe Boston just doesn’t really have a huge variety of different people and different sexualities. I don’t know. It’s just getting lonely and a bit frustrating.
Well that’s all. I hope you have the time to answer this. Thanks!
December 5, 2007 at 12:43 am
Dave, I love this attitude. If more people practiced this way of thinking, and you imagine what the world would be?
I have a very similar way of looking at life. A couple of sayings that I often think of when challenges present themselves: Nobody can ruin your day but YOU, and nobody can poop in your wheaties (sp) unless you allow them to do so.
Take care,
xoxxox
Craig