When we crossed the 100,000 YouTube subscriber mark a few months ago (we’re already approaching 120,000!), I announced that I’d be filming a Davey Wavey reality pilot… and today, I’m thrilled to share it with you.
This isn’t your typical talk blog. It’s a 28 minute look at my life, my friends and family – and this human experience in which we all share.
Because it’s a topic that is important to so many of us, I decided that this would be a “coming out” themed episode.
I don’t want to spoil the fun, so get comfy, pop some popcorn…. and enjoy! I hope you love it.
And a huge thank you to everyone involved: Chris Simmons, Brent Lestage, my best friend Matt, Haley Star, Josh, Missy, my mom and George.
August 25, 2011 at 10:11 am
The part with your mother is so cute.
August 25, 2011 at 10:22 am
^_^ That was wonderful to watch Davey. Happy Birthday <3
August 25, 2011 at 10:30 am
I really enjoyed the “reality show” Well made, interesting, and full of love. I particularly loved your “interview” with your mom. I’m looking forward to the next episode.
August 25, 2011 at 11:01 am
This pilot was very emotionally charged, and very easy to relate to.
Another extraordinary video, from a man who deserves 1000 thanks. Love you Davey.
August 25, 2011 at 11:24 am
That was so uplifting! Just what I needed, I think you and Haley make a great couple!
August 25, 2011 at 11:43 am
Hey Davey,
As with everything you post, this is really inspirational. The part with Mrs Wavey, really does show what a lovely woman she is.
I am not sure if you realise that you, and others like you, are the true gay icons of today.
Well done and keep up the good work.
Phil xx
August 25, 2011 at 11:57 am
Loved the video cant wait for episode 2. BTW Happy B-day!!!! (>^_^)>
August 25, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Like the video very much. Lots of things said of value.
Think your hugs could be ‘warmer’, seemed distant…
visually see your co-cast members hugs and yours.
August 25, 2011 at 12:18 pm
AWW, george is so sweet, bless em
August 25, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Very well done. The coming out stories I find very emotional and appreciate the honesty and raw emotions you all shared. Your Blog buddy made it seem so spontaneous and he is somebody to be commended as he has taken his unfortunate situation and is using it to help others. I think you and your Family/Friends are wonderful and it is great that you share so much. Thanks, Happy Birthday (I just had mine last Sunday…exactly twice yours) and I will keep watching. Love YOU!
August 25, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Very good production with personal insight.
I am beginning to believe it is okay.
Question, at the ending what are on your feet?
August 25, 2011 at 12:29 pm
Davey ~
Haley said it all ~ “It was beautiful!” An excellent first “full length” production covering coming out with the full spectrum of possible responses – from complete acceptance to total rejection. You carefully avoided sugar coating the subject and left the message that coming out is the best thing gays can do for themselves. I am so glad you have been given the opportunity to share this message with others. (BTW, your mom is a real sweetheart – but I’m sure you realize that.)
August 25, 2011 at 12:32 pm
That was great Id love for it to be a show:)I got popcorn ready for it Hahahahah:P
August 25, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Show on tv*
August 25, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Great video Davey…very intimate. The part that made me smile was the free hugs. Bravo.
August 25, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Well done. Very, well done! What I loved most was the simple human endearing tenderness that came through.
August 25, 2011 at 3:31 pm
I’ve been looking forward to this Davey! Your so adorable and i just wanna give you a huuuuge hug
. your so inspirational.
love you loads
Daniel xxx
August 25, 2011 at 3:56 pm
wow…the part with ur mom; she’s awesome; so caring; but surprised she still has some reservations; mainly good ones…like knowing being gay is a harder road to hoe; i dont know but expected ur parents to be more enthused since u have become such a positive role model and icon for us; if u have this then we all do; good answer about aids that its an issue for everyone; but no grandchildren; u maybe can emphasize more that u can adopt and at 27-28 and so good-looking [the guns are getting so hot] where is Mr Right? xxoo guy
August 25, 2011 at 5:21 pm
That was great! I’m so thankful that I have found your blog. For months now it has helped me accept myself, and it has helped me grow as a person. Without you and Lady GaGa, who knows what girl I would be “dating.” Thanks!
August 25, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Davey, I absolutely love this pilot! I very much so wish I could have come to P-town for the free hugs, but I’m utterly thrilled that you captured your hug with my dear friend Liz on my behalf (she’s the totally cute pregnant woman with the fabulous sun hat – I’m the Adrian she mentioned in the clip!). You really inspire me, and have been a big part of my life this summer as I’ve been working a lot on fully loving myself so I can better share that love with all those I encounter. You’re amazing, I love you, and peace out. *smooch smooch*
August 25, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Davey Wavey
..Miss you being shirtless..and the best part was the last 2 minutes of “just you”..Love “your” David
Enjoyed your video..and it seemed soo short..My initial thought was why soo many OLD heavy OUT of shape people til George arrived, but I guess you covered a cross-section of the gay community..and gay guys do let it ALL hang OUT..
August 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Hi my name is Josh Kent and I am a big fan of davey I am 14 and will be 15 in September I have not come out yet but I feel like I should I have thought about coming out to my uncle and his boyfriend because they are gay but it would be over Facebook because he lives in America and I live in England so there is a big problem but tomorrow I could come out to my grandma because we are so close I am just worried what she might think and I kind of want to do it before I am 15 please could anyone give me some help and thank you if you reply.
August 30, 2011 at 3:32 am
I’m sorry nobody has taken the time to respond to you, Josh. Take your time and remember that the most important part of coming out is accepting yourself for who you are. Being gay is not what defines you; it is just one part of a much bigger picture that, when looked at as a whole describes what kind of a person you are. Remember this as you share this part of your life with friends and loved ones. If they seem to be reacting badly (or simply not in the way you had hoped for), remind them that you are still the person that you were the day before. Just because you are now choosing to let them in a little bit more and share “this part of your life” with them, this doesn’t mean that all of your other interests and the values you have held for the better part of your life up to this point have sailed out the door. If anything, they should feel privileged that you’ve taken a chance to be more open with them about who you are.
As for friends, if they respond badly than they were never truly your friends in the first place and you may well be better off without them in your life. Family is a more difficult situation because we never want to be judged harshly by our family; especially for something we feel we never made a choice in. It is possible your family may already have an inkling (“idea”) that you are gay – or maybe not. I don’t know what your interests are and whether or not they might be revealing of your sexual orientation due to the perceived stereotypes others might associate with being gay. Really, most associations are just that; stereotypes. There are as many different kinds of gay men and women in this world as there are people themselves. Never judge yourself harshly for being who YOU are and for being interested in the things that interest you.
Besides accepting yourself for who you are, the best advice I can give you whereas your family is concerned is this… Remember, you’ve had time to accept yourself and your sexuality; this is (I imagine) going to be fresh news for your family. They may need time, just as you did yourself, to allow the information to really settle in and see the bigger picture. In time I would hope they will see that you’re the same person you were before you came out to them and that the only thing that has “really” changed is that now you have given them the opportunity to really know the whole, entire, wonderful person that makes you “you.” (I don’t know you so I’m just making an assumption that you’re a great kid for the moment! Who knows, maybe you’re a pain in the butt.
I’m kidding, of course. A little bit of levity to lighten the mood.)
And Josh, there’s no set time for coming out… By that I just mean to say “no one age is better than another, to come out – you just do it when YOU are ready, when YOU are comfortable in your own skin and with who you are.”
(I just realized that I probably have not said much that helps you, in the way of “how” to come out. I suppose one thing you could ask whomever you are thinking of coming out to, be that person a friend, your grandmother, your mother or father; whomever… is “What has been your experience with a gay person? Have you ever known anybody who is gay and how did you feel about him or her? What kind of a person was he or she? Were you comfortable around that person and was he or she any different, other than the sex of the individual they might have been seeing, than the next person? Were their values really any different than those of a straight person?” The response given to these questions might provide a hint as to what kind of a reaction you might expect from the one you are talking to but also be prepared for them to ask you why you’re asking the questions.)
You’re in my thoughts and I hope that it (the coming out process) all goes well for you. Everybody deserves to be respected fully for who they are; the perceived and all that is real and not necessarily obvious to everybody around him or her. That you are gay is “just one part” of what makes Josh who he is. Always remember that and never give others the power to make you feel as though you should hang your head in shame for being who you are. If I may, you are precisely as God made you … and that is a great thing.
Namaste,
Michael
August 25, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Happy birthday davey wavey have a great time one of your fans Josh Kent
August 25, 2011 at 7:47 pm
DW, I really loved this video. It was well-made and from the heart. Makes me want to do a Free Hugs event!
September 13, 2011 at 1:08 pm
I recently came across your blog and I’m big a fan. You’ve become my white gay “Oprah”
– full of inspiration. As I watched the segment with your Mom, the flood gates opened and I was balling like a big baby. It was one of those moments with the fast breaths and squinted eyes – bad. I get a lot of pressure from my partner and his Mom to come out to my parents because he wants to have every holiday together and I think she just needs another Mom to talk to. I’m 27 and I sometimes feel like I should have already done this, but it’s been a struggle trying to figure out whether I’m truly ready to come out or I’m just getting broken down from being constantly reminded that I “need to tell them.” Sometimes it feels like some of the people I love most are pulling out a guilt trip to get me to open-up. I’m realizing that this is one of those things that simply can’t be forced and hearing you say that “you just know when the time is right” hit deep and gave me a lot to think about.
Thanks for being you.
August 25, 2011 at 8:23 pm
LOVED it! I want more! Especially moved by the conversation between you and your mother. It was amazing. You both brought me to tears at the end when you hugged and she expressed how she felt she had the best kid in the world and is very fortunate! You are blessed to have her as well.
August 25, 2011 at 9:23 pm
Meaningful beyond words. The look in your eyes toward your mom is powerful. Thank you for this wonderful reality piece. It carries so much strength!
Sending love,
Jeff
August 25, 2011 at 9:40 pm
probably the very best video youve ever made ever.thank you thank you thank you.i so much luv you Davey WAVEY–if you met me in person-you would be so much proud of me,.ive grown to be so so attached to you and your website-youve made my life so much better-i need to build a shrine to you.words can not describe how much i luv you-we are Gods Children-and God doesnt make mistakes.
August 25, 2011 at 9:59 pm
My Dear Davey,
My heart boils over with love to you and all yours in Ptown. What a joy to watch. You’ll never know just how perfect the timing of your adventures in Ptown video was to me. Those of us working stiffs out here love the trip to the other side. You do great – special work Davey, and I love you for doing it!
Mike
August 25, 2011 at 10:22 pm
Loved it! Happy Birthday!!
August 26, 2011 at 1:03 am
The segment with George was the real gift of this production — so very glad you included that. What a brave and caring person. I love most of all his talk of “coming in” before coming out. So inspiring and brilliant.
August 30, 2011 at 3:36 am
Gotta say that I loved the phrasing, as well (“Coming in before coming out”). George is seemingly a sweetheart; his family has no inkling of just how much they are missing out on by cutting him out of their lives right now. I’m hopeful that will change in time.
August 26, 2011 at 5:36 am
This was a truly beautiful video – especially the part with you and your mom. It was so sweet when she called you the best kid in the world. You are such an inspiration.
August 26, 2011 at 6:21 am
Two words: Love it!
Thanks Davey : )
August 26, 2011 at 12:09 pm
LOL! It’s hard to say because you were wearing sunglasses but, at 12:03 it looks like you were looking at the bike rider’s ass. “it’s been hot….and magic….and hot.”
But for real.
Great pilot episode. I think any LGBTQ person who watches this video will find it inspirational or it will spark up memories; the good, the bad, and the weird.
August 26, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Great Job
August 26, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I love it
Waiting for the next episode 
August 26, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Davey I love you and I think you are an inspiration. Regarding your video. I’m hoping that this is just a rough unedited version? I don’t mean to be rude, I just really want to see this pilot develop into something. As it is now, the pilot is informative but lacks energy and needs to be edited. As you know for every hour of filming you’re lucky to have 2 minutes of usable footage. My advise to you is to really target your story idea and make sure the direction is clear and the message is strong. While coming out is something most of us can relate to it would be my advise to be more innovative on the subject, bring something exciting, informative, and personal to the plate in a NEW way. You have a strong straight audience and this subject to them, is nothing special. So, how do we make this special to them while upholding the integrity of our community? I think our world and our community needs someone like you to be the radiant source of positive energy that you are. I think you are the best person to convey these messages because of all your qualities. I just want this to take off for you and for us.
August 26, 2011 at 4:56 pm
I loved this video. In fact it reminded me of all the inspiration Davey gave me when I came out a few years ago.
At 17 I have not had much life experience but i’ve had my fair share. I wish to grow up and be the beautiful person Davey is – on the inside.
Thanks for everything Davey.
Oh, and if you all have time please check out my new blog:
http://simplisticendeavours.blog.com/
Thanks.
Much LOVE xx
August 26, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Hey Davey,
First off, thank you for this wonderful little peek into your personal life, AND with your mom. It’s beautiful!
Second, I cried during the part with your mom and the awkwardness of trying desperately to tell her you’re gay, and wanting to be loved, and accepted. Wow.
Last, I continued crying when I thought of my own mom and how I wished she could have been here not only for my coming out, but so many other things in my adult life.
Thank you for sharing this with me/us.
God bless, much love, and *hugs*,
Thomas
August 27, 2011 at 1:38 am
You had me when you referred to your mom as “Mama Wavey!” LOVE IT!
And I was TOTALLY riveted watching the conversation between you and your mom.
What a great idea for coming out Haley Star had….
This was beautiful. The music was great, too!
(AND I got a nice travelogue of P-town. Pretty place!)
August 27, 2011 at 7:42 am
Your mother is very nice but she is not happy about your being gay. There’s a lot of hurt there that you don’t seem to see. It was obvious to me – in her speech, her manner and her words, especially her concern about HIV which is a lot more serious for gays than for straights. I don’t care what you say. Having a gay child is painful for parents. They bring us into the world and they have their hopes and expectations. I don’t think many parents would like to have a gay child despite what they may say to make themselves and their children feel better. You wouldn’t take a pill to make it go away? Maybe that’s true for you because you’ve made homosexuality the center of your life. It’s brought you a degree of fame and feeds your ego. I think most gays, in their hearts, would like to be straight, free to live balanced lives without the problems and limitations that homosexuality brings but the gay agenda won’t allow they to say so.
August 30, 2011 at 3:55 am
Gotta call “bullshit” on this response. Yes, most parents probably would prefer that their children not have to go through some of the pain or aggravation of being gay, just because they want their child to have an easier life than they themselves might have had. (That’s standard fare for a parent I think.)
But to claim that DW’s mother has a lot of hurt that he doesn’t see? Bullshit. Instead of speaking for her, let her speak for herself. You don’t know his mother anymore than you know any other stranger living across the country. Yes, she is concerned about HIV (so was my own mother when I first came out to her); what parent wouldn’t be when so many jackasses have tried to suggest that the disease is only a “gay disease” (when in fact it doesn’t discriminate, much unlike the majority of those who represent the majority of people in Washington, D.C. and in the state legislatures).
The comment you make about why DW wouldn’t take a pill (were that even possible) to take the gay away is most offensive. It’s that kind of thinking that sends the wrong message to youth who are struggling with accepting their own sexuality. (I don’t know if you’re gay or not; I don’t really care one way or the other.)
Given what you’ve said, if you’re gay I’m guessing you have problems accepting yourself for who you are. If you aren’t (and I suspect that could well be the case), you sound a lot like every other homophobe who hasn’t taken the time to really understand the issue or get to know a gay person without trying to read your own brand of judgment (likely, based on religion) into the equation. Why would I say that? Because of your choice of words when you say most gays would like to live “balanced lives without the problems and limitations homosexuality brings” and the reference to a gay agenda. Our sexuality isn’t what introduces the problems and limitations in our lives; it’s jerks who can’t get past their own discomfort with the idea two people of the same sex could actually LOVE one another as any other couple might.
Deal with your homophobia, dude.
August 27, 2011 at 5:58 pm
Great video ! Looking forward to the next episode !
August 27, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Very much enjoyed it. When will we see a “Papa Wavey” episode? It’s almost stereotypical about Mothers supporting their gay children… It’s rare when we see the father figure weigh in, publicly and firmly…
August 28, 2011 at 12:51 am
Davey,
I have followed beaktheillusion for quite awhile. I like and admire what you are trying to even though sometimes I have strong intellectual disagreements with some of your positions.
This “reality” pilot show is extremely well done. It was about as real as any professionally produced and directed show could be. I suggest it not be offered as a “reality show” as most of them pure sh&t.
You were at the most relaxed and human in this segments as I have ever seen you. And you were less cerebral too. The scene with your mom was extremely powerful as were some of your interviews with others. To me it;s the best thing you have ever done.
If this pilot lead to a series be very careful to maintain it’s quality and true sense of “reality.” God forbid that we end up with a “The Gay Bachelor” show. Most of the stuff shown on regular TV channels, SHOWTIME, and LOGO make us us out to be the inept butt of every one’s jokes and put downs. I don’t want to compare us to the African American community who suffered even more for generations
I know you will want to produce the highest quality product, but the commercial pressures will be against you. Do your best to use the pilot episode as the “bottom rung” quality as the standard which you must surpass in future episodes.
And, a belated happy birthday to you (27 is still young as I am 27, ha ha) and happy-birth day (of her son) to your mom. Seb
August 28, 2011 at 2:18 am
Hi Davey,
thank you for sharing this wonderful video with us.
Once again it shows how open and yet vulnerable gays can be.
You were lucky, just like me to have a supported family, unlike George who had to fight for his place under the sun. Yet, however your story is….. it can only make you strong to be who you are then to be what you are not…
With warmest regards,
Steven
August 28, 2011 at 5:58 pm
Very diverse, some fun, some emotional and some thoughtfull stuff. Perfect mix, I loved it!
Ronald
August 30, 2011 at 3:43 am
Dear Davey,
You are and give so much hope for mankind! You inspire me and those whose lives you touch to be better people. May your light shine bright always and pass from person to person.
August 31, 2011 at 9:34 pm
I want to thank u so much for this video, its been almost a year since I came out and it just brought back all I felt back then, Im so grateful for my mom and brother and friends who know. Btw I came to your videos because of a vid for the it gets better project you participated in.
P.S. I love your mom
September 2, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Clearly, a lot of hard work has gone into this pilot – and it really shows. BUT….
Your message works on a blog, it works on short videos. However, over the course of 30 minutes it just gets diluted and even boring. The subject matter is important – how could coming out not be important – but it isn’t presented in a new way. Yes there’s a cross section of people but the method of interviewing etc quickly lost my attention. Similarly, the free hugs thing. Were they really hugs? You didn’t look at all uncomfortable. As much as I admire the sincerity – Logo is (perhaps unfortunately) not about the things you want to present. They want something quicker, faster, quirky and immediate. This pilot, for all its charm, doesn’t have that – although some of your blogs do. I’d be looking at some of your past blogs for inspiration (the trip to the sauna?) rather than subject material that others have taken and ran with in much better ways, many times before.
September 2, 2011 at 4:38 pm
I so enjoyed watching this episode, and can’t wait to show my Mom too. Communication such as this is SO important. Coming out six years ago at the age of 22 was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but my life has only been better since (Yeah, I’ve just turned 28 too, in July!). Just so you know, your fanbase stretches all the way to Cape Town. Warmest Regards from Sunny South Africa!
September 4, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Davey – Thank you, thank you, thank you. This was a very uplifting video and gives me hope. I am grateful to have seen this video exactly when I needed to see it. Good luck with you project.
September 10, 2011 at 3:37 pm
I loved this video I’m just starting to come out any of my friends that i have told are cool with it my mom on the other hand didn’t take it as well she told me that i can’t tell anybody. This the happiest I’ve been in a long time.