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July 7, 2010
by Davey Wavey
70 Comments



The Egg by Andy Weir

I posted this story on my Facebook earlier today after a blog buddy e-mailed me a link – but I wanted to share it with the rest of the world. It’s a short story called “The Egg” by Andy Weir. Enjoy!

You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. You wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.

70 Comments

  1. Spread love, right? Not war. ;P

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  3. I was very smart in this life.

  4. You very obviously miss the point of this story. Pay attention, look beyond the words.

    Who is to say that you are any more correct in your beliefs than the people who favour reincarnation? Have you died, spoken to the “Creator?” No. Therefore, you know nothing. I know nothing. None of us know anything, and yet we act like we are all-knowing.
    Your arrogance is disgusting.

    • Yes I’ve died and have been born more times then I know, and we all have, also I speak to the creator every time I open my mouth and hear the creator every time I hear anything!

  5. i am homosexual gay hormonal anal homppeli

  6. You are both right and wrong. Personalities are remembered for a reason, but yes, anyone CAN be a model for the next generations. In fact we all are, period.

    I’ll explain. Every time you show face, perform a deed, make a statement, or in other words, “live a life” you contribute a certain amount of influence on the moment and the outcome. The “reason” personalities are remember is because some individuals in times past contributed more influence than the status quo.

    Everyone one of us has the potential to do the same.

  7. Nice= a bit too Christian though.
    God as a “person” with whom we can relate- very Christian.
    We are spiritually connected and are One- the Body of Christ; All are One in Christ- so, very Christian.
    However, Buddhism would definitely agree with the idea we are individuals working out our own salvation over millennia/lifetimes and arrive at some point of realization that all are One.

    Christianity has already come to that point while retaining the uniqueness of our own selfhoods/persons. Through Christ and The Holy Spirit we actually participate in the Life of God and God participates in the life of Us. God is all within all.
    Therefore this story has more Christian undertones than Buddhist- and we all know how terrible Christianity is.

    • Actually many philosophies and religions have the same undertones, that we are all one. This is not unique to Christianity in any way.

    • Every religion has this equally, also every political or philosophical belief as well! The Devine is everything and in a sense is a total narcissist/ego maniac, because it is everything! So it speaks in everything and can only speak about itself!

  8. I wouldn’t say that Christianity is terrible, but many of the people that carry that flag abuse the knowledge and power they gain.

  9. Goes 2 show we are all 1, all on this stupid site, wasting our time saying 2 each other my ego’s bigger than urs! Lets all fuck off & get a life, hey?!

  10. There are certainly a whole lot of details like that to take into consideration. That is a nice point to carry up. I supply the thoughts above as normal inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you carry up where an important thing will probably be working in sincere good faith. I don?t know if greatest practices have emerged around things like that, but I am positive that your job is clearly recognized as a good game. Each boys and girls feel the affect of only a second’s pleasure, for the rest of their lives.

  11. Why stop at past lives? Why not future lives? Or all the simultaneous lives in the present? Think about it.

  12. is this not just an adaptation of the Chinese Creation story of ‘Pan Gu’??

  13. The real kicker is when you realize that he is speaking to himself!

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