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February 15, 2012
by Davey Wavey

Abstinence: Riskier Than Sex.

Sure, sex can be pretty risky. With STDs like herpes, chlamydia and HIV, having sex can be a little like playing Russian roulette – unless, of course, certain precautions are taken to minimize the hazards.

But, in my opinion, what’s riskier than sex is abstaining from it. Abstinence comes at a very high price.

Yesterday, I received a Valentine’s Day email from Ian Ellington, a friend of mine who is a Tantric guru. In his email, Ian shared a link to a great article about bonobos – some of the most sexual animals on Earth. These primates have been called the “make love, not war” species. For animals, it seems that more sex means less conflict.

According to the article:

As the great primatologist, Frans de Waal put it, “Chimps use violence to get sex, while bonobos use sex to avoid violence.” While chimps victimize each other in many ways–rape, murder, infanticide, warfare between groups–there’s never been a single observed case of any of these forms of aggression among bonobos, who are much sexier than chimps.

Researcher James Prescott, after completing a large-scale analysis of anthropological data, has concluded that the connection between less restrictive sexuality and less conflict holds true for humans, too.

Maybe abstinence is the real risk – and the real vice. Just look at Catholic priests, for example, who take abstinence to the extreme. These men take a life-long vow of celibacy. But when you try to repress such an important aspect of the human experience, it may express itself in less healthy ways – like in the molestation of children. (Update: According to Belgian researchers, Catholic priests are 100x more likely to be pedophiles). And if you believe that God created mankind and has blessed us with an amazing gift of sexuality – it seems like a slap in His face to deny ourselves from experiencing it.

Abstinence isn’t just unnatural and bizarre, it’s bad for society. Maybe the world would be a much more peaceful place if we all got a few more good fuckings every now and then.


  1. Davey,

    The “study” you linked to doesn’t say much. Your “100x more likely” quote is a statement attributed to an unnamed source, hardly noteworthy.

    Secondly to the other commenters on this thread that started using the following word: pedosexuality, are you kidding me?!

  2. Now, You’ve gone too far LOL :D

  3. I totally agree with you Davey!

  4. As there are so many Gay RC Priests it is a shame that the RC Church is not more understanding on Birth control.

  5. @Horace
    As long as the cardinals keep appointing reactionary popes, you won’t see any progress on birth control issues.

  6. @ Davey. The problems with your information source have been mentioned already, but just to re-affirm information in a blog is not credible academic literature. I would be very interested to read a paper that statistically shows priests to be significantly more likely to be a child predator. Even if this paper exists it does not show causation. I am single and I have never had sex. I would hate the perpetuation of the idea that celibate people are child molesters, that is a prejudice I could really do without! I find it ironic that the message of this post was anti-war, but the way that you wrote it inspired conflict.

  7. Okay, I’m missing something here. Gay priests and birth control? What? I guess I missed that chapter in health class. I mean two men? Birth control? I thought that was a given. Yes, contraceptives for STDs and health issues.

    Oh, you mean how THEY feel about birth control. Now I get it. Well, I don’t “get it” but I understand. As Gilda Radner would say: “Nevermind.”

  8. I am a priest and don’t feel repressed. You must have healthy relationships, fun hobbies and a good spiritual prayer life. If your life becomes unbalanced, then you have problems.
    Disagree completlely with the saying that most priests could or are pedephiles. Not true

  9. If abstinence is forced on you, or taught as *the only way* to protect yourself from stds, unwanted pregnancies etc…..then yes, its bad. BUt…teaching people to be prudent and to make informed choices if and when they are ready is different. Some people are very sexually charged, others not so much. Its all about choices and being informed.

  10. Sehr gut! Ich hab mir deine Seite gleich mal gebookmarkt.

  11. I think this is so true in so many ways. I grew up Mormon which has a strong belief in abstinence before marriage. This had such a huge psychological affect on me growing up. I started having sexual feelings at such a young age that I just did not know that my religion believed that masturbation was wrong, I didn’t even know what sex was, or what this thing in my pants did, except pee. As I got older realizing what it was and that my religion believed that it was wrong, well lets say I felt like shit and I was hooked and according to my religion made me feel that I was addicted not only to porn but to masturbation. Well the guilt got too me and at some times I wished I didn’t have a dick.

    Later in life after I got married had a kid and then divorced I had some pretty risky sexual encounters. I didn’t know how to be safe and protect myself from STD’s. Luckily for me I have not gotten any. In short I agree with what your saying and that it does affect the psychological, and the health aspects of everyone who believes, or follows the abstinence of sex.

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