Break the Illusion Blog by Davey Wavey

So the first week of work came to an end.  I enjoy the office a lot — the people are funny, sweet, and intelligent, and the work is creative and engaging.  I couldn’t ask for more.  The pay isn’t a lot, but it is enough for me and my little apartment.  There is a roof over my head, money in the bank, food in my belly, and an amazing boyfriend in my heart.  What more could anyone ask for?  As far as I’m concerned, I’m the luckiest person alive.  But really, there is no such thing as luck.

So, I made a decision today that I like.  I have a hot, sultry picture of Nick as the background of my desktop computer.  It’s like, beautiful.  Anyway, the computer person is coming over tomorrow to install my internet connection.  I thought to myself, “Geez.  I should change my computer background if s/he is going to be working on my computer.”  And then I said, “Dave, don’t be silly.”  (Well, I didn’t say it.  But I thought it.)  Changing the computer background seems simple enough, but I don’t like the logic behind it.  It means, in a way, that there is something wrong with being gay.  Sure, my sexuality is none of the computer person’s business.– however, I don’t like the idea of going out of my way to hide it either.  I don’t think a straight guy would even think about removing a picture of his wife or girlfriend from the computer background.  Anyway, Nick is still my background.  Because he should be.  And that’s that, really.

It’s all a matter of being a real person.  A lot of people live behind a social mask — to some degree, we all do.  That’s because of the ego, and the ego lives in fear.  We hide who we really are because it feels safer that way.  The ego focuses us on the externals in life — but really we need to look inside.  It’s easy to get caught up in the material world.  It’s not easy to make a decision to live in moderation, and to truly examine yourself for the person that you are.  Looking outside of yourself is a good distraction.  But looking inside yourself is where the real universe resides.

Oh!  This beautiful firefly just flew up to my screen and flickered at me.  The universe was just saying, “Hi!.”  Well, hi universe.